SPRING.

Whereas, on certain boughs and sprays,
Now divers birds are heard to sing,
And sundry flowers their heads upraise.
Hail to the coming on of Spring.
The songs of those said birds arouse

The memory of our youthful hours,
As green as those said sprays and boughs,
As fresh and sweet as those said flowers.
The birds aforesaid-happy pairs-

Love 'mid the aforesaid boughs enshrines In freehold nests: themselves, their heirs, Administrators, and assigns.

Oh, busiest term of Cupid's Court!

Where tender plaintiffs actions bringSeason of frolic and of sport!

Hail, as aforesaid, the coming Spring!

DURING one of the great political conventions of the present campaign, a Methodist church was engaged for a meeting. The boys, who were on the alert for excitement, took early possession of the gallery, well supplied with sticks to beat the floor in response to the speeches. One of the excellent Methodist brethren had been very justly grieved that the house was lent for such a purpose, and hoping to save it as much as possible from desecration, he went up into the gallery before the meeting began, and told the boys that they ought to remember they were in the church, and to behave in a manner becoming so holy a place; especially, he hoped they would not disgrace themselves and the place by making a noise, rapping, or shouting, or whistling, or any thing of that sort. "But if there should any thing be said which pleases you very much, then, boys, you may say, 'Bless my soul,' Amen,' and so forth, as the case may be."

The meeting began. The chairman stated the object of the assembly, the great honor he had in being called to preside, the proudest day of his life, and becoming warm, he launched out into such eloquence as to arouse the spirits of the boys, who would have given him a round of applause with their sticks but for the old man's advice, when, recollecting his permission, they at once began to cry out, "Bless my soul!" and at the end of the next sentence, "Amen!" and soon a chorus of youngsters cried out, " And so forth !" to the astonishment of the chairman, who addressed himself to the galleries, and said he should have them cleared if that interruption was repeated, whereupon the whole

BREAKERS AHEAD.

excitement became so great between the galleries and the pit, that the boys had to promise to withhold any further expressions of their enthusiasm, and they were then allowed to remain.

ONE must be easy in his mind to go to sleep quietly, but what must have been the feelings of the stranger who was sent up stairs in a Western hotel to sleep with a backwoodsman, who gave him this welcome:

"Wa'al, stranger, I've no objection to your sleeping with me, none in the least; but it seems to me the bed's rather narrow for you to sleep comfortable, considerin' how I dream. You see, I am an old trapper, and generally dream of shooting and scalping Injuns. Where I stopped night afore last, they charged me five dollars extra 'cause I happened to whittle up the head-board with my knife while I was dreaming. But you can come to bed, if you like. I feel kinder peaceable to-night."

A WESTERN cattle-dealer, who rarely had the privilege of sitting down to meat with a family, and had never been in a minister's house in his life, was not long ago benighted and lost in his ride across the prairies, and compelled to ask for lodgings at the first house he could find. Happily for him it proved to be the dwelling of a good man, a parson, who gave him a cordial welcome, and what was specially agreeable, told him supper would soon be ready. The traveler's appetite was ravenous, and the moment he was asked to sit by he complied; and without waiting for a second invitation, he laid hold of what he could reach.

"Stop, stop!" said the good man of the house, "we are in the habit of saying something here before we eat."

This hint to wait till a blessing was asked the rough customer did not understand, but with his mouth full he muttered,

"Go ahead, say what you like; you can't turn my stomach now!"

DR. ALLYN, of Boston, was a man of stern principle, as became a divine, and withal a man of humor in his way. A well-known merchant had failed in business, but being determined to hold his head up, gave a large dinner party, and invited the Rev. Doctor, who was expected to say grace. As the company walked into the dining-room, Dr. A. stepped back as if he had forgotten something,

and left the house. He did not return. His friends asked him afterward the reason of his sudden disappearance, and he told them that when he entered the room and saw the splendid dinner, he thought of poor Davis, who had been ruined by the failure of their hospitable host-it took away his appetite, and he had to leave the house.

This was the same Dr. Allyn to whom the people came to remonstrate with him upon the impropriety of allowing a violin in the choir.

"Why, have we not always had a bass viol?" he asked.

"Oh yes! but that was a very different thing from a fiddle."

"Certainly it is," said the Doctor, "a much larger instrument, and I think the greater the fiddle the greater the sin."

BELLE BRITTAN writes some very spirited letters from Newport, where the ladies dress nine times a day, a greater number than is usually allowed to the most extra-genteel. First they put on a dress to dress in for breakfast, two; then to bathe, three; after bathing, four; dinner, five; for a nap, six; for a ride, seven; for tea, eight; for a hop, nine! and one more to retire!! But this dressing for show, Belle says, is a rather costly and unsatisfactory business. "What a pity it can

not be dispensed with altogether. I should like to live in a planet where costume would grow upon us; where we could leaf out and blow out like vines and lilies, and where children could be gathered from the trees like peaches. Who knows but we shall be put through a course of sprouts similar to this in some of the worlds to come!"

ANY one who has sought to avail himself of the benefits of Life Insurance, has been amused, if not provoked with the number, variety, and troublesomeness of the questions which he is obliged to answer, and get his physician and some friend of his to make an affidavy unto. It is proposed to add the following questions to the printed list:

"Did your great grandmother ever complain of having been frightened to death?

"Are you in the habit of reading Mr. Alison's histories, or the Morning Advertiser, or any other publications tending to lengthen life?

"Is your wife a strong-minded woman? "Do you know any members of Congress, and is there any chance of your getting into political or other arguments with the owner of a revolver? "Are you a polite man, who does not mind run

RETURNED FROM THE WARS.

A FULL CARRIAGE.

ning out of a hot opera-house to get up a carriage on a wet night?

"Do you run after fancy preachers, and do they make you cry?

"What was the general state of your ancestors' health in the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries? "Was any member of your family ever swallowed up by an earthquake?

"Do you always take care not to tread on orange peel in the street?

"Have you ever been afflicted with Irishmen, or any other epidemic?

"Who cuts your hair ?"

GOVERNOR FORD, of Illinois, tells a very rich anecdote of one of the early judges of that State, but unhappily the Governor does not put upon record the name of the sensitive and considerate magistrate.

At the court over which this judge presided, a man by the name of Green was convicted of murder, and the judge was obliged to pass sentence of death supon the culprit. Calling on the prisoner to rise, the judge said to him,

"Mr. Green, the jury say you are guilty of murder, and the law says you are to be hung. I want you, and all your friends down on Indian Creek to know, that it is not I who condemn you; it is the jury and the law. Mr. Green, at what time, Sir, would you like to be hung; the law allows you time for preparation ?"

The prisoner replied, "May it please your honor, I am ready at any time: those who kill the body have no power to kill the soul. My preparation is made, and you can fix the time to suit yourself; it is all the same to me, Sir."

"Mr. Green," returned the judge, "it is a very serious matter to be hung; it can't happen to a man but once in his life, unless the rope should break before his neck is broke; and you had better take all the time you can get. Mr. Clerk, since it makes no difference to Mr. Green when he is hung, just look into the almanac, and see whether this day four weeks comes on Sunday."

The clerk looked as he was di

rected, and reported that that day four weeks came on Thursday.

"Then," said the judge, "Mr. Green, if you please, you will be hung this day four weeks at twelve o'clock."

The attorney-general, James Turney, Esq., here interposed and said,

"May it please the court, on occasions of this sort it is usual for courts to pronounce a formal sentence, to remind the prisoner of his perilous condition, to reprove him for his guilt, and to warn him against the judgment in the world to come." "Oh, Mr. Turney," said the judge, "Mr. Green understands the whole matter; he knows he has got to be hung. You understand it, Mr. Green, don't you?"

66 Certainly," said the prisoner.
"Mr. Sheriff, adjourn the court."

Four weeks from that day Mr. Green was hung, but not so much to his own satisfaction as his appearance promised on the day of his conviction.

THESE are queer queries:

Is death's door opened with a skeleton key? Would you say a lady was dressed loud who was covered all over with bugles?

Is there any truth in the report that the Arabs who live in the desert have sandy hair?

In selling a Newfoundland dog, do you know whether it is valued according to what it will fetch, or what it will bring?

A NEW translation of the Bible making its appearance, in which the passage "Be instant in

season and out of season" is rendered "Be on hand conveniently and inconveniently," the Observer intimates that "Go forward" should read "Go ahead," and "Yea, Lord," give place to "Yes, Sir-ree."

WE have from Albany, our goodly capital, where the wits of men are sharpened into a keenness of practice in the way of getting the start of one another, some facts of late occurrence that exceed any thing that happened under the Old Regency. T. B. Jones, Esq., being indebted to his political friend, Mr. Brown, in the sum of $25,000, gets Mr. Brown's assistance to get a good fat contract, out of which Mr. Jones makes $40,000; and, instead of paying his obliging friend what he now doubly owes him, he makes it all over to his young and lovely niece, and sets off to Washington to spend the winter. Mr. Brown is very much cut-up at the conduct of Mr. Jones, whose ingratitude is only equaled by his cunning; but Mr. Brown consoles himself in his disappointment by making love to the lovely niece of the defaulting creditor, and after a short courtship he marries her, and proceeds with his bride to Washington to spend the rest of the winter. T. B. Jones, Esq., is red with wrath when he meets the happy couple, and uses many words which have a great resemblance to profane swearing; while his niece, the smiling bride, is quite unable to understand why her generous uncle should settle upon her the sum of $40,000, and then be offended because she bestows it on the husband of her choice, and his friend too!