Cries, "Sir, good b'ye; ben't angry that we part, THE VESTRY. WITHIN the Shire of Nottingham there lies A parish fam'd, becaufe the men were wise : Of their own ftrain they had a teacher fought, Since he had fnor'd, and eat, and fatten'd there; Promifing fomething, which, well understood, When met, he thus harangues: "Neighbours, I find, "That in your principles you 're well inclin'd : "But then you're all folicitous for Sunday; "None seem to have a due regard for Monday, "Moft people then their dinners have to feek, "As if 'twere not the first day of the week; "But, when you have hafh'd meat and nothing more, "You only curse the day that went before. "On Tuesday all folks dine by one confent : "And Wednesdays only fast by Parliament, "But Fafting fure by Nature ne'er was meant. "The "The Market will for Thursday find a dish, "Take Hens, Geefe, Turkies, then, or fomething light, "Roast it on Monday, pity it should be spoil'd; "And then on Friday, as I faid before, every day, "Now "Now for the application, and the use: "I found your care for Sunday an abuse: "All would be asking, Pray, Sir, where d'you dine? "I have roast Beef, choice Venifon, Turkey, Chine: "Every one's hawling me. Then say poor I, "It is a bitter bufinefs to deny; "But, who is 't cares for fourteen meals a day, "As for my own part, I had rather stay, "And take them now and then, and here and there, "According to my prefent bill of fare. "You know I'm fingle: if you all agree "To treat by turns, each will be fure of me." The Veftry all applauded with a hum, THE MONARCH. WHEN the young people ride the Skimmington, There is a general trembling in a town: Not only he for whom the perfon rides Some few days after, two young fparks came there, One One for difcourfe of news the mafter calls, T'other on this ungrateful subject falls. "Pray, Mrs. Jenny, whence came this report, "For I believe there's no great reason for 't, "As if the folks t'other day swept your door, "And half a dozen of your neighbours more?" "There's nothing in 't," fays Jenny; "that is done "Where the wife rules, but here I rule alone, "And, gentlemen, you 'd much mistaken be, "If any one should not think that of me. "Within these walls, my fuppliant vassals know "What due obedience to their prince they owe, “And kiss the shadow of my papal toe. My word 's a law; when I my power advance, "There's not a greater Monarch ev'n in France. "Not the Mogul or Czar of Mufcovy, "Not Prefter John, or Cham of Tartary, "Are in their houses Monarch more than I. "My House my Caftle is, and here I'm King, "I'm Pope, I'm Emperor, Monarch, every thing. "What though my wife be partner of my bed, "The Monarch's Crown fits only on this head.” His wife had plaguy ears, as well as tongue, And, hearing all, thought his difcourfe too long: Her confcience faid, he fhould not tell fuch lyes, And to her knowledge fuch; fhe therefore cries, "D'ye hear • you Sirrah - Monarch - there ? "Come down "And grind the Coffee -or I'll crack your Crown." JUST JUST AS YOU PLEASE; OR, THE INCURIOUS. A VIRTUOSO had a mind to fee One that would never difcontented be, "Bring him to dinner." Humpus foon withdrew, Seem'd to fay, "Who is 't? wilt go any where ?" } } In |