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Enter GAYLESS.

Gayl. Well, Sharp, I have set them down to cards, and now what have you to propose?

Sharp. I have one scheme left, which in all probability may succeed. The good citizen, overloaded with his last meal, is taking a nap in that closet, in order to get him an appetite for yours. Suppose, Sir, we should make him treat us.

Gayl. I don't understand you.

Sharp. I'll pick his pocket, and provide us a supper with the booty.

Gayl. Monstrous! for, without considering the villainy of it, the danger of waking him, makes it impracticable. Sharp. If he wakes, I'll smother him, and lay his death to indigestion a very common death, among the justices. Gayl. Prithee be serious, we have no time to lose; can you invent nothing to drive 'em out of the house? Sharp. I can fire it.

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Gayl. Shame and confusion, so perplex me, I cannot give myself a moment's thought.

Sharp. I have it; did not Mrs Gad-about say her nephew would be here?

Gayl. She did.

Sharp. Say no more, but in to your company; if I don't send 'em out of the house for the night, I'll at least frighten their stomachs away: and if this stratagem fails, I'll relinquish politics, and think my understanding no better than my neighbours.

Gayl. How shall I reward thee, Sharp?

Sharp. By your silence and obedience; away to your company, Sir. [Exit Gayless.] Now, dear madam Fortune, for once open your eyes and behold a poor unfortunate man of parts addressing you; now is your time to convince your foes, you are not that blind whimsical whore they take you for; but let 'em see, by your assisting me, that men of sense, as well as fools, are sometimes intitled your favour and protection.-So much for prayer; now for a great noise and a lye. [Goes aside and cries out.] Help! help, master; help, gentlemen, ladies; murder, fire, brimstone; help, help, help!

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Enter

Enter Mr GAYLESS and the ladies, with cards in their hands, and SHARP enters running, and meets them.

Gayl. What's the matter?

Sharp. Matter, Sir, if you don't run this minute with that gentleman, this lady's nephew will be murder'd; I am sure, 'twas he, he was set upon the corner of the street, by four; he has kill'd two, and if you don't make haste, he'll be either murdered or took to prison.

Gad. For heaven's sake, gentlemen, run to his assistance. How I tremble for Melissa! this frolic of her's may be fatal.

Gayl. Draw, Sir, and follow me.

[Aside.

[Exit Gayless and Gad-about. Trip. Not I; I don't care to run myself into needless quarrels; I have suffered too much formerly by flying into passions; besides, I have pawn'd my honour to Mrs Trippet, never to draw my sword again; and in her present condition, to break my word might have fatal consequences.

Sharp. Pray, Sir, don't excuse yourself, the young gentleman may be murdered by this time.

Trip. Then my assistance will be of no servise to him ; however I'll go to oblige you, and look on at a distance. Mrs Trip. I shall certainly faint, Mr Trippet, if you draw.

Enter GUTTLE, disorder'd as from sleep.

Gut. What a noise and confusion is this?

Sharp. Sir, there's a man murder'd in the street.

Gut. Is that all.-zounds, I was afraid you had throw'd the supper down-a plague of your noise--I shan't recover my stomach this half hour.

Enter GAYLESS and GAD-ABOUT, with MELISSA in boy's cloaths dress'd in the FRENCH manner.

Gad. Well, but my dear Jemmy, you are not hurt sure ? Mel. A little with riding post only.

Gad. Mr Sharp alarm'd us all with an accident of your being set upon by four men; and that you had kill'd two, and was attacking the other, when he came away, and when? we met you at the door, we were running to your rescue. Mel. I had a small encounter with half a dozen villain ́; VOL. I.

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but

but finding me resolute, they were wise enough to take their heels; I believe I scratch'd some of 'em.

[Laying ber band to her sword. Sharp. His vanity has sav'd my credit. I have a thought come into my head may prove to our advantage, provided monsieur's ignorance bears any proportion to his impudence. [Aside. Gad. Now my fright's over, let me introduce you, my dear, to Mr Gayless; Sir, this is my nephew.

Gayl. [Saluting her.] Sir, I shall be proud of your friendship.

Mel. I don't doubt but we shall be better acquainted in a little time.

Gut. Pray, Sir, what news in France?

Mel. Faith, Sir, very little that I know of in the political way; I had no time to spend among the politicians. I

was

Gayl. Among the ladies, I suppose.

Mel. Too much indeed. Faith, I have not philosophy enough to resist their solicitations; you take me.

[To Gayless aside. Gayl. Yes, to be a most incorrigible fop; s'death, this puppy's impertinence is an addition, to my misery.

[Aside to Sharp.

Mel. Poor Gayless! to what shifts is he reduced? I

cannot bear to see him much longer in this condition, I shall discover myself. [Aside to Gad-about.

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Gad. Not before the end of the play; besides, the more his pain now, the greater his pleasure when relieved from it.

Trip. Shall we return to our cards? I have a sans prendre here, and must insist you to play it out.

Lad. With all my heart.

Mel. Allons donc.

[As the company goes out, Sharp pulls Melissa by the sleeve.Sharp. Sir, Sir, shall I beg leave to speak with you? Pray did you find a bank note in your way hither?

Mel. What, between here and Dover do you mean?' Sharp. No, Sir, within twenty or thirty yards of this

house.

Mel. You are drunk, fellow.

Sharp. I am undone, Sir, but not drunk, I'll assure you. Mel. What is all this?

Sharp.

Sharp. I'll tell you, Sir: a little while ago my master sent me out to change a note of twenty pounds; but I unfortunately hearing a noise in the street of damn-me, Sir, and clashing of swords, and rascal, and murder; I runs up to the place, and saw four men upon one; and having heard you was a mettlesome young gentleman, I immediately concluded it must be you; so run back to call my master, and when I went to look for the note to change it, I found it gone, either stole or lost; and if I don't get the money immediately, I shall certainly be turned out of my place, and lose my character

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Mel. I shall laugh in his face, [Aside.] Oh, I'll speak to your master about it, and he will forgive you at my intercession.

Sharp. Ah, Sir! you don't know my master.

Mel. I'm very little acquainted with him; but I have heard he's a very good-natur'd man.

Sharp. I have heard so too, but I have felt it otherwise; he has so much good-nature, that, if I could compound for one broken-head a day, I should think myself very well off.

Mel. Are you serious, friend?

Sharp. Look'e Sir, I take you for a man of honour; there is something in your face that is generous, open, and masculine; you don't look like a foppish, effeminate tell-tale; so I'll venture to trust you.- -See here, Sir [shers his head.] these are the effects of my master's good

nature.

Mel. Matchless impudence! [Aside.] Why do you live with him then after such usage?

Sharp. He's worth a great deal of money, and when he's drunk, which is commonly once a day, he's very free, and will give me any thing; but I design to leave him when he's married for all that.

Mel. Is he going to be married then?

Sharp. To-morrow, Sir; and between you and I, he'll meet with his match, both for humour and something else too.

Mel. What, she drinks too?

Sharp. Damnably, Sir; but mum-You must know this entertainment was design'd for madam to-night, but she got so very gay after dinner, that she could not walk out of her own house; so her maid, who was half gone too,

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came

came here with an excuse, that Mrs Melissa had got the vapours; and so she had indeed violently; here, here, Sir. [Pointing to his head. Mel. This is scarcely to be borne. [Aside.] Melissa! I have heard of her; they say she's very whimsical.

Sharp. A very woman, and please your honour; and between you and I, none of the mildest of her sex-But to return, Sir, to the twenty pounds.

Mel. I am surprised, you, who have got so much money in his service, should be at a loss for twenty pounds, to save your bones at this juncture.

Sharp. I have put all my money out at interest; I never keep above five pounds by me; and if your honour would lend me the other fifteen and take my note for it.

[Knocking.

Mel. Somebody at the door.

Sharp. I can give very good security.

[Knocking.

Mel. Don't let the people wait Mr

Sharp. Ten pounds will do.

[Knocking.

Mel. Allez vous en.

Sharp. Five, Sir.

[Knocking.

Mel. Je ne puis pas.

Sharp. Je ne puis pas.-I find we shan't understand one another, I do but lose time; and if I had any thought, I might have known these young fops return from their travels generally with as little money as improvement.

[Exit Sharp.

Mel. Ha, ha, ha, what lies does this fellow invent, and what rogueries does he commit for his master's service? There never sure was a more faithful servant to his master, or a greater rogue to the rest of mankind. But here he comes again, the plot thickens, I'll in and observe Gayless. [Exit Melissa.

Enter SHARP before several persons with dishes in their bands, and a cook drunk.

Sharp. Fortune, I thank thee, the most lucky accident! [Aside. This way, Gentlemen, this way.

Cook. I am afraid I have mistook the house. Is this Mr Treatwell's?

Sharp. The same, the same: what, don't you know me?
Cook. Know you!.
-Are you sure there was a supper

bespoke here?

Sharp.

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