Be this advice pursu'd by each fond maid,
Ne'er slight the substancc for a empty sdade ;

Rich weighty sparks alone should please and charm
For should spouse cool, his gold will always warm ye.

A C T. II.

Enter GAYLESS and Sharp.

GAYLESS.

ye;

RITHEE be serious, Sharp. Hast thou really succe eded.

PR

Sharp. To our wishes, Sir. In short I have managed the business with such skill and dexterity, that neither your circumstances nor my veracity are suspected.

Gayl. But how hast thou excused me from the ball and entertainment?

Sharp. Beyond expectation, Sir.-But in that particucular I was obliged to have recourse to truth, and declare the real situation of your affairs. I told her we had so long disused ourselves to dressing either dinners or suppers, that I was afraid we should be but aukward in our preparations. In short, Sir,at that instant a cursed gnawing seized my stomach, that I could not help telling her, that both you and myself seldom make a good meal now-a-days once a quarter of a year.

Gayl. Hell and confusion, have you betray'd me villain! did you not tell me this moment, she did not in the least suspect my circumstances.

Sharp, No more she did, Sir, till I told her.

Gayl. Very well; and was this your skill and dexterity? Sharp. I was going to tell you; but you won't hear reason; my melancholy face and piteous narration had such an effect upon her generous bowels, that she freely forgives all that's past,

Gayl. Does she, Sharp ?

Sharp. Yes; and desires never to see your face again; and, as a farther consideration of so doing, she has sent

you half a guinea.

Gayl. What do you mean?

[Shews the money.

Sharp. To spend, spend it, Sir; and regale.

Gayl

Gayl. Villian, you have undone me!

Sharp. What, by bringing you money, when you are not worth a farthing in the whole world? Well, well, then to make you happy again, I'll keep it myself; and wish somebody would take it in their head to load me with such misfortunes. [Puts up the money.

Gayl. Do you laugh at me rascal?

Sharp. Who deserves more to be laughed at? Ha, ha, ha. Never for the future, Sir, dispute the success of my negotiations, when even you, who know me so well can't help swallowing my hook. Why, Sir, I could have play'd you backwards and forwards at the end of my line, till I had put your senses into such a farmentation, that you should not have known in an hour's time whether you was a fish or a man.

Gayl. Why, what is all this you have been telling me?
Sharp. A down-right lie from beginning to end.
Gayl. And have you really excused me to her?

Sharp. No Sir; but I have got this half guinea to make her excuses to you; and, instead of a confederacy between you and me to deceive her, she thinks she has brought me over to put the deceit upon you.

Gayl. Thou excellent fellow!

Sharp. Don't lose time but slip out of the house immediately; the back-way, I believe, will be the safest for you, and to her as fast as you can; pretend vast surprise and conceru that her indisposition has debarr'd you the pleasure of her company here to-night; you need know no more: away!

Gayl. But what, shall we do, Sharp? here's her maid again.

Sharp. The devil she is I wish I could poison her; for I'm sure, while she lives I can never prosper.

Enter KITTY.

Kit. Your door was open, so I did not stand upon cere

mony.

Gayl. I am sorry to hear your mistress is taken so suddenly.

Kit. Vapours, vapours only, Sir; a few matrimonial omens, that's all: but I suppose Mr Sharp has made her ex

Cuses.

Gayl: And tells me I can't have the pleasure of her com

pany

pany to night. I had made a small preparation: but 'tis no matter; Sharp shall go to the rest of the company, and let them know it is put off.

Kit. Not for the world, Sir; my mistress was sensible you must have provided for her, and the rest of the company so she is resolv'd, tho' she can't, the other ladies and gentlemen shall partake of your entertainment: she's very good natur'd.

Sharp. I had better run, and let 'em know 'tis deferr’d.

[Going. Kit. Stopping him.] I have been with 'em already, and told 'em my mistress insists upon their coming, and they have all promised to be here: so pray, don't be under any apprehensions, that your preparations will be thrown a

way.

Gayl. But as I can't have her company, Mrs Kitty, 'twill be a greater pleasure to me, and a greater compliment to her, to defer our mirth; besides I can't enjoy any thing at present, and she not partake of it.

Kit. Oh, no to be sure; but what can I do? My mistress will have it so: and Mrs Gad-about, and the rest of the company, will be here in a few minutes; there are two or three coachfuls of 'em.

Sharp. Then my master must be ruin'd in spite of my parts.

Gayl. [Aside to Sharp.] 'Tis all over, Sharp.
Sharp. I know it, Sir.

Gayl. I shall go distracted; what shall I do.

Sharp. Why, Sir, as our rooms are a little out of furni ture at present, take'em into the captain's that lodges here, and set'em down to cards; if he should come in the mean time, I'll excuse you to him.

Kit. I have disconcerted their affairs, I find; I'll have some sport with 'em.-Pray, Mr Gayless, don't order too many things, they only make you a friendly visit; the more ceremony, you know, the less welcome. Pray, Sir, let me intreat you not to be profuse. If I can be of service, pray, command me: my mistress has sent me on purpose; while Mr Sharp is doing the business without doors, I may be employed within; if you'll lend me the keys of your side-board, [to Sharp.] I'll dispose of your plate to the best advantage, [Knocking.

Sharp.

Sharp. Thank you, Mrs Kitty; but it is dispos'd of already. [Knocking at the door. Kit. Bless me the company's come! I'll go to the door and conduct 'em into your presence. [Exit Kitty. Sharp. If you'd conduct them into a horse-pond, and wait of 'em there yourself; we should be more oblig❜d to you.

Gayl. I can never support this!

Sharp. Rouse your spirits and put on an air of gaiety, and I don't dispair of bringing you off yet.

Gayl. Your words have done it effectually.

Enter Mrs GAD-ABOUT, her daughter and niece, Mr GUTTLE, Mr TRIPPET, and Mrs TRIPPET.

[Kisses bim.

[Kisses her.

Gad. Ah my dear Mr Gayless!
Gayl. My dear widow !
Gad. We are come to give you joy, Mr Gayless.
Sharp. You never was more mistaken in your life.

[Aside.

Gad. I have brought some company here, I believe, is not well known to you, and I protest I have been all about the town to get the little I have-Prissy, my dear———Mr Gayless, my daughter.

Gayl. And as handsome as her mother; you must have a husband shortly, my dear.

Pris. I'll assure you I don't dispair, Sir.

Gad. My neice too.

Gayl. I know by her eyes she belongs to you, widow. Gad. Mr Guttle, Sir, Mr Gayless; Mrs Gayless, Justice Guttle.

Sharp. O destruction! one of the quorum.

Gut. Hem. tho' I had not the honour of any personal knowledge of you; yet at the instigation of Mrs Gad-about, I have, without any previous acquaintance with you, throw'd aside all ceremony to let you know that I joy to hear the solemnization of your nuptials is so near at hand. Gayl. Sir, tho' I cannot answer you with the same elocution, however, Sir, I thank you with the same sincerity.

Gad. Mr and Mrs Trippit, Sir, the properest lady in the world for your purpose, for she'll dance for four and twenty hours together.

Trip. My dear Charles, I am very angry with you, faith; so near marriage, and not let me know, 'twas barbarous;

you

you thought, I suppose, I should rally you upon it; but dear Mrs Trippet, here has long ago eradicated all my antimatrimonial principles.

Mrs Trip. I eradicate! fye, Mr Trippet, don't be so obscene.

Kit. Pray, ladies, walk into the next room; Mr Sharp can't lay his cloth till you are set down to cards.

Gad. One thing I had quite forgot; Mr Gayless, my nephew, who you never saw, will be in town from France presently, so I left word to send him here immediately, to make one.

Gayl. You do me honour, madam.

Sharp. Do the ladies chuse cards or the supper first?
Gayl. Supper! what does the fellow mean?

Gut. Oh, the supper by all means, for I have eat nothing

to signify since dinner.

Sharp. Nor I, since Monday was a fortnight.

[Aside. Gayl. Pray, ladies, walk into the next room; Sharp, get things ready for supper, and call the music.

Sharp. Well said, master.

Gad. Without ceremony, ladies.

Exeunt ladies.

Kit. I'll to my mistress, and let her know every thing is ready for her appearance.

GUTTLE and SHARP.

[Exit Kitty.

Gut. Pray Mr what's your name, don't be long with supper; but harkee, what can I do in the mean time? Suppose you get me a pipe and some good wine, I'll try to divert myself that way till supper's ready.

Sharp. Or suppose, Sir, you was to take a nap till then, there's a very easy couch in that closet.

Gut. The best thing in the world, I'll take your advice; but be sure and wake me when the supper is ready.

[Exit Guttle.

Sharp Pray heaven, you may not wake till then-What a fine situation my master is in at present: I have promised him my assistance, but his affairs are in so desperate a way that I am afraid it is out of my skill to recover 'em. Well, fools have fortune, says an old proverb, and a very true one it is, for my master and I are two of the most unfortunate mortals in the creation,

Enter