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Host. Ha! a fat woman ? the knight may be robbed : Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtI'll call.—Bully knight! Bully sir John! speak from ful dilemma. thy lungs military; art thou there? it is thine host, Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat; but it is tell-a me, thine Ephesian, calls.
dat you make grand preparation for a duke de Jar| Fal. (Above.] How now, mine host?
many: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat de court is Host. Here's a Bohemian Tartar tarries the coming know to come. I tell you for good vill : adieu. [Exit. down of thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let Host. Hue and cry, villain ! go.-Assist me, knight; her descend: my chambers are honourable ; fie! pri- I am undone.-Fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am vacy? fie!
[Exeunt Host and BardolPH. Enter Falstaff.
Fal. I would all the world might be cozened, for 1 Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even have been cozened, and beaten too. If it should come Dow with me, but she's gone.
to the ear of the court how I have been transformed, !. Sim. Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of and how my transformation hath been washed and cudBrentford ?
gelled, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell: what would and liquor fishermen's boots with me: I warrant, they you with her ?
would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crestSim. My master, sir, my master Slender, sent to her, fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I forseeing her go through the streets, to know, sir, whether swore myself at primero. Well, if my wind were but one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the long enough, I would pray and repent. chain, or no.
Enter Mistress QUICKLY. i Fal. I spake with the old woman about it.
Now, whence come you? Sim. And what says she, I pray,
Quick. From the two parties, forsooth. Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened him of it. and so they shall be both bestowed. I have suffered
Sim. I would I could have spoken with the woman more for their sakes, more, than the villainous inconherself: I had other things to have spoken with her, stancy of man’s disposition is able to bear. too, from him.
Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warFal. What are they ? let us know.
rant; speciously one of them: mistress Ford, good Host. Ay, come ; quick.
heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a Fal. You may not conceal them, sir.
white spot about her. Host. Conceal them, and thou diest.
Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue ? I Sia. Why, sir, they were nothing but about mistress was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; Anne Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune to and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of bare her, or no.
Brentford : but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my Fal. "Tis, 'tis his fortune.
counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd Sim. What, sir?
me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, i' Fal. To have her,-or no. Go; say, the woman the common stocks, for a witch. told me so.
Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber; Sim. May I be bold to say so, sir ?
you shall hear how things go, and, I warrant, to your Fol. Ay, sir, tike, who more bold?
content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good Sim. I thank your worship. I shall make my mas- hearts! what ado here is to bring you together. Sure, ter glad with these tidings.
[Exit Simple. one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so Host
. Thou art clerklý, thou art clerkly, sir John. crossed. Was there a wise woman with thee?
Fal. Come up into my chamber.
[Ereunt. Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one, that hath
SCENE VI.-Another Room in the Garter Inn. taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my
Enter Fenton and Host. life: and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning
Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me: my mind is Enter BARDOLPH.
heavy; I will give over all. Bard. Out, alas, sir! cozenage; mere cozenage !
Fent. Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose, Host. Where be my horses ? speak well of them, And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee Tarletto.
A hundred pound in gold more than your loss. Bard. Run away with by the cozeners; for so soon as Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I will, Icame beyond Eton, they threw me off from behind one at the least, keep your counsel. of them in a slough of mire ; and set spurs, and away,
Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you Like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses. With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page; Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, villain. Who, mutually, hath answer'd
affection Do not say, they be fed : Germans are honest men. (So far forth as herself might be her chooser) Enter Sir Hugh Evans.
Even to my wish. I have a letter from her Era. Where is mine host?
Of such contents as you will wonder at; Host. What is the matter, sir ?
The mirth whereof so larded with my matter, Era. Have a care of your entertainments: there is That neither, singly, can be manifested, a friend of mine come to town tells me, there is three Without the show of both ;-wherein fat Falstaff eotzin germans, that has cozened all the hosts of Read Hath a great scene: the image of the jest ng of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and mo
[Showing the Letter. mes. I tell you for good will, look you: you are wise, I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine Host : ad full of gibes and vlouting-stogs, and 'tis not con- To-night at Herne's oak, just ’twixt twelve and one, Tetient you should be cozened. Fare you well. [Exit. Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen; Enter Doctor Caius.
The purpose why, is here; in which disguise, Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarretière ?
While other jests are something rank on foot,
Her father hath commanded her to slip
(For they must all be mask'd and vizarded)
Host. Well, husband your device : I'll to the vicar.
Fent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee; Besides, I'll make a present recompense. [Exeunt.
SCENE 1.-A Room in the Garter Inn.
Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will
become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No nian Enter Falstaff and Mrs. Quickly.
means evil but the devil, and we shall know him by Fal. Pr’ythee, no more prattling ;-go:—I'll hold. his horns. Let's away; follow me. [Exeunt. This is the third time; I hope, good luck lies in odd
SCENE III.-The Street in Windsor. numbers. Away, go. They say, there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.
Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Dr. Carus. Away.
Mrs. Page. Master Doctor, my daughter is in green: Quick. I'll provide you a chain, and I'll do what I when you see your time, take her by the hand, away can to get you a pair of horns.
with her to the deanery, and dispatch it quickly. Go Fal. Away, I say; time wears : hold up your head, before into the park: we two must go together. and mince.
[Exit Mrs. Quickly. Caius. I know vat I have to do. Adieu. Enter Ford.
Mrs. Page. Fare you well, sir. [Exit Caius.] My How now, master Brook! Master Brook, the matter husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falwill be known to-night, or never. Be you in the Park staff
, as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying my about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you shall see daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, wonders.
than a great deal of heart-break. Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of told me you had appointed ?
fairies? and the Welch devil, Evans? Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by poor old man; but I came from her, master Brook, Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at the very like a poor old woman. That same knave, Ford her instant of Falstaffs and our meeting, they will at once husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, display to the night. master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him. you.He beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; for in the shape of man, master Brook, I fear not if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked. Goliah with a weaver's beam, because I know also, life Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely. is a shuttle. I am in haste : go along with me; I'll Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and their tell you all, master Brook. Since I plucked geese, lechery, played truant, and whipped top, I knew not what it Those that betray them do no treachery. was to be beaten, till lately. Follow me : I'll tell you Mrs. Ford. The hour draws on: to the oak, to the strange things of this knave Ford, on whom to-night I oak!
[Exeunt. will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your
SCENE IV.-Windsor Park. hand.—Follow. Strange things in hand, master Brook: follow.
Enter Sir Hugu Evans, and Fairies.
Eva. Trib, trib, fairies : come; and remember your
parts. Be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit,
and when I give the watch-'ords, do as I pid you. Page. Come, come: we'll couch i’ the castle-ditch, Come, come ; trib, trib.
Exeunt. till we see the light of our fairies.-Remember, son
SCENE V.-Another Part of the Park.
Enter Falstaff disguised, with a Buck's Head on. have a nay-word, how to know one another. I come Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the to her in white, and cry, “mum ;” she cries, " budget,” minute draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist and by that we know one another.
me !-remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Shal. That's good too: but what needs either your Europa ; love set on thy horns.- powerful love! that, “mum," or her “budget?" the white will decipher in some respects, makes a beast a man, in some other, her well enough. It hath struck ten o'clock. a man a beast.--You were also, Jupiter, a swan, for
: } Away, away!
the love of Leda: 0, omnipotent love ! how near the Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring : god drew to the complexion of a goose !-A fault done Th'expressure that it bears, green let it be, first in the form of a beast;-0 Jove, a beastly fault! More fertile-fresh than all the field to see ; and then another fault in the semblance of a fowl : And, Honi soit qui mal y pense, write, I think on't, Jove; a foul fault.-When gods have hot In emerald tufts, flowers purple, blue, and white; backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery, a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the forest : Buckled below fair knighthood's bending knee : send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to Fairies, use flowers for their charactery. piss my tallow? Who comes here ? my doe?
Away! disperse! but, till ’tis one o
o'clock, Enter Mrs. Ford and Mrs. PAGE.
Our dance of custom, round about the oak Mrs. Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my deer? my Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget. male deer?
Eva. Lock hand in hand : yourselves in order set; Fal. My doe with the black scut ?—Let the sky And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be, rain potatoes ; let it thunder to the tune of “Green To guide our measure round about the tree. Sleeves;" hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let But, stay! I smell a man of middle earth. there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me Fal. Heavens defend me from that Welch fairy, lest here.
[Embracing her. he transform me to a piece of cheese ! [To himself Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweet- Pist. Vile worm, thou wast o'er-look'd even in thy heart.
birth. Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, each a haunch: Queen. With trial-fire touch me his finger-end : I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the If he be chaste, the flame will back descend, fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your And turn him to no pain; but if he start, husbands. Am I a woodman? ha! Speak I like It is the flesh of a corrupted heart. | Herne the hunter?—Why, now is Cupid a child of Pist. A trial ! come. conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true Eva.
Come, will this wood take fire ? spirit, welcome.
[They burn him with their tapers. Mrs. Page. Alas! what noise ?
Fal. Oh, oh, oh! Mrs. Ford. Heaven forgive our sins!
Queen. Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire ! Fal. What should this be?
About him, fairies, sing a scornful rhyme;
[They run off
Song, by one.
Lust is but a bloody fire,
and Pistol; ANNE Page, as the Fairy Queen, at- Fed in heart; whose flames aspire,
Pinch him for his villainy; You orphan-heirs of fixed destiny,
Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about, Attend your office, and your quality.
Till candles, and star-light, and moon-shine be out. Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy o-yes.
During this song, the fairies pinch Falstaff: Doctor Pist. Elves, list your names: silence, you airy toys ! Caius comes one way, and steals away a fairy in green; Cricket, to Windsor chimneys when thoust leapt, Slender another way, and takes off a fairy in white ; Where fires thou find'st unrak'd, and hearths unswept, and Fenton comes, and steals away Anne Page. A There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry:
noise of hunting is made within. All the fairies run Our radiant queen hates sluts, and sluttery.
away. Falstaff pulls off his buck's head, and rises. Fal. They are fairies; he, that speaks to them, Enter Page, Ford, Mrs. Page, and Mrs. Ford. They shall die :
lay hold of him. Ill wink and couch. No man their works must eye. Page. Nay, do not fly: I think, we have match'd [Lies down upon his face.
you now. Era. Where's Bead ?-Go you, and where you find Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn? a maid,
Mrs. Page. I pray you come; hold up the jest no That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said,
higher.Rouse up the organs of her fantasy,
Now, good sir John, how like you Windsor wives? Sleep she as sound as careless infancy;
See you these, husband ? do not these fair yokes Bat those that sleep, and think not on their sins, Become the forest better than the town? Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and shins. Ford. Now, sir, who's a cuckold now !-Master Queen. About, about!
Brook, Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are Search Windsor castle, elves, within and out: his horns, master Brook : and, master Brook, he hath Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room, enjoyed nothing of Ford's but his buck-basket, his That it may stand till the perpetual doom,
cudgel, and twenty pounds of money, which must be In state as wholesome, as in state 'tis fit;
paid to master Brook : his horses are arrested for it, Vorthy the owner, and the owner it.
master Brook. The several chairs of order look you scour
Mrs. Ford. Sir John, we have had ill-luck; we could With juice of balm, and every precious flower: never meet. I will never take you for my love again, Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest,
but I will always count you my deer. With loyal blazon, ever more be blest!
Fal. I do begin to perceive, that I am made an ass. And nightly, meadow-fairies, look, you sing,
Ford. Ay, and an ox too; both the proofs are extant.
I think so,
Fal. And these are not fairies ! I was three or four been Anne Page, would I might never stir, and 'tis a times in the thought, they were not fairies; and yet post-master's boy. the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my Page. Upon my life, then, you took the wrong. powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into a re- Slen. What need you tell me that? ceived belief, in despite of the teeth of all rhyme and when I took a boy for a girl : if I had been married reason, that they were fairies. See now, how wit may to him, for all he was in woman's apparel, I would not be made a Jack-a-lent, when 'tis upon ill employment! have had him.
Eva. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your Page. Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell desires, and fairies will not pinse you.
should know my daughter by her garFord. Well said, fairy Hugh.
ments ? Eva. And leave you your jealousies too, I pray you. Slen. I went to her in white, and cried "num,"
Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou and she cried “budget,” as Anne and I had appointed; art able to woo her in good English.
and yet it was not Anne, but a post-master's boy. Fal. Have I laid my brain in the sun, and dried it, Mrs. Page. Good George, be not angry : I knew of that it wants matter to prevent so gross o'er-reaching your purpose; turned my daughter into green; and, as this ? Am I ridden with a Welch goat too? shall indeed, she is now with the doctor at the deanery, and I have a coxcomb of frize? 'Tis time I were choked there married. with a piece of toasted cheese.
Enter Doctor Caius. Eva. Seese is not good to give putter: your pelly is Caius. Vere is mistress Page ? By gar, I am co
zened; I ha' married un garçon, a boy ; un paisan, by Fal. Seese and putter! have I lived to stand at gar, a boy: it is not Anne Page; by gar, I am cozened. the taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This Mrs. Page. Why, did you take her in green? is enough to be the decay of lust, and late-walking, Caius. Ay, by gar, and 'tis a boy : by gar, I'll raise through the realm.
[Exit Caius. Mrs. Page. Why, sir John, do you think, though we Ford. This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne? would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head Page. My heart misgives me. Here comes master and shoulders, and have given ourselves without scruple Fenton. to hell, that ever the devil could have made you our
Enter Fenton and ANNE PAGE. delight?
How now, master Fenton!
[They kneel. Ford. What, a hog-pudding ? a bag of flax?
Anne. Pardon, good father! good my mother, pardon. Mrs. Page. A puffed man?
Page. Now, mistress ; how chance you went not Page. Old, cold, withered, and of intolerable entrails ? with master Slender? Ford, And one that is as slanderous as Satan? Mrs. Page. Why went you not with master doctor, Page. And as poor as Job ?
maid? Ford. And as wicked as his wife ?
Fent. You do amaze her: hear the truth of it. Eva. And given to fornications, and to taverns, and You wonld have married her most shamefully, sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings, and Where there was no proportion held in love. swearings, and starings, pribbles and prabbles ? The truth is, she and I, long since contracted,
Fal. Well, I am your theme: you have the start of Are now so sure, that nothing can dissolve us. me; I am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welch The offence is holy that she hath committed ; flannel. Ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me: use And this deceit loses the name of craft, me as you will.
Of disobedience, or unduteous guile, Ford. Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to one Since therein she doth evitate and shun master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to A thousand irreligious cursed hours, whom you should have been a pander: over and above Which forced marriage would have brought upon her. that you have suffered, I think, to repay that money Ford. Stand not amaz’d: here is no remedy.will be a biting affliction.
In love, the heavens themselves do guide the state: Page. Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat a pos- Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate. set to-night at my house ; where I will desire thee to Fal. I am glad, though you have ta'en a special laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee. Tell her, stand to strike at me, that your arrow hath glanced. master Slender hath married her daughter.
Page. Well, what remedy? Fenton, beaven give Mrs. Page. Doctors doubt that: if Anne Page be my daughter, she is, by this, doctor Caius' wife. [Aside. What cannot be eschew'd must be embrac'd. Enter Slender, crying.
Fal. When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are Slen. Whoo, ho! ho! father Page!
chas'd. Page. Son, how now! how now, son! have you Mrs. Page. Well, I will muse no farther.—Master despatched ?
And laugh this sport o'er by a country fire; Slen. I came yonder at Eton to marry mistress Anne Sir John and all. Page, and she's a great lubberly boy: if it had not Ford. Let it be so.—Sir John, been i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he To master Brook you yet shall hold your word; should have swinged me. If I did not think it had For he, to-night, shall lie with mistress Ford. [Exeunt.
MEASURE FOR MEASURE.
VINCENTIO, the Duke.
Froty, a foolish Gentleman. ANGELO, the Deputy.
Clown. Escalus, an ancient Lord.
ABHORSON, an Executioner.
BARNARDINE, a dissolute Prisoner.
ISABELLA, sister to Claudio.
Mariana, betrothed to Angelo. Thomas, Two Friars.
Juliet, beloved of Claudio. PETER, }
FRANCISCA, a Nun.
Mistress OVER-DONE, a Bawd.
SCENE I.-An Apartment in the Duke's Palace.
Did not go forth of us, 'twere all alike
As if we had them not. Spirits are not finely touch'd, Enter Duke, Escalus, Lords, and Attendants.
But to fine issues; nor nature never lends Duke. Escalus !
The smallest scruple of her excellence, Escal. My lord.
But, like a thrifty goddess, she determines Duke. Of government the properties to unfold, Herself the glory of a creditor, Would seem in me t' affect speech and discourse ; Both thanks and use. But I do bend my speech Since I am apt to know, that your own science To one that can my part in him advertise : Exceeds, in that, the lists of all advice
Hold, therefore, Angelo: [Tendering his commission.
Mortality and mercy in Vienna
Though first in question, is thy secondary:
Take thy commission.
[Giving it. As art and practice hath enriched any
Now, good my lord, That we remember. There is our commission, Let there be some more test made of my metal,
[Giving it. Before so noble and so great a figure From which we would not have you warp.-Call hither, Be stamp'd upon it. I say, bid come before us Angelo.-[Exit an Attendant. Duke.
No more evasion : What figure of us think you he will bear?
We have with a leaven'd and prepared choice For, you must know, we have with special soul Proceeded to you; therefore, take your honours. Elected him our absence to supply,
Our haste from hence is of so quick condition, Lent him our terror, drest him with our love, That it prefers itself, and leaves unquestion'd And given his deputation all the organs
Matters of needful value. We shall write to you, Of our own power. What think you of it?
As time and our concernings shall importune, Escal. If any in Vienna be of worth
How it goes with us; and do look to know, To undergo such ample grace and honour,
What doth befall you here. So, fare you well: It is lord Angelo.
To the hopeful execution do I leave you
Of your commissions.
Yet, give leave, my lord, dag. Always obedient to your grace's will, That we may bring you something on the way. I come to know your pleasure.
Duke. My haste may not admit it; Duke.
Nor need you, on mine honour, have to do There is a kind of character in thy life,
With any scruple : your scope is as mine own, Tzat, to th' observer, doth thy history
So to enforce, or qualify the laws Faily unfold. Thyself and thy belongings
your soul seems good. Give me your hand. Are not thine own so proper, as to waste
I'll privily away: I love the people, Thyself upon thy virtues, them on thee.
But do not like to stage me to their eyes. Haaren doth with us, as we with torches do,
Though it do well, I do not relish weil Sct light them for themselves; for if our virtues Their loud applause, and aves vehement,