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HANS CAR ve Li
ANS CARVEL, impotent and old,
Married a lafs of London mould:
Handsome ? enough; extremely gay :
Lov'd music, company, and play :
High flights. The had, and wit at will;
And so her tongue lay seldom still :
For in all visits who but she,
To argue, or to repartée ?
She made it plain, that human passion
Was order'd by predestination;
That, if weak women went aftray,
Their stars were more in fault than they
Whole tragedies fhe had by heart;
Enter'd into Roxana's part :
To triumph in her rival's blood,
The action certainly was good.
How like a vine young Ammon curld !
Oh that dear conqueror of the world !"
She pitied Betterton in age,
That ridicul'd the god-like rage.
She, first of all the town, was told,
Where newest India things were fold :
So in a morning, without bodice,
Slipt sometimes out to Mrs. Thody's ;-
To cheapen tea, to buy a screen :
What else could so much virtue mean?
All well; but pr’ythee, honeft Hans,
(Says Satan) leave your complaisance :
The truth is this : I cannot stay
Flaring in sun-line all the day :
For, entre nous, we hellish sprites
Love more the frefco of the nights a
And oftener our receipts convey
In dreams, than
other way. therefore as a friend, Ere morning dawns, your fears shall end : Go then this evening, master Carvel, Lay down your fowls, and broach your barrel ; Let friends and wine diffolve
Whilft. I the great receipt prepare :
To-night I'll bring it, by my faith!
Believe for once what Satan faith.
Away went Hans : glad ? not a little ;
Obey'd the Devil to a tittle ;
Invited friends fome half a dozen,
The Colonel and my Lady's coufin.
The meat was ferv'd; the bowls were crown'd;
Catches were fung; and healths went round;
Barbadoes waters for the clofe;
Till Hans had fairly got his dose :
The Colonel toasted “to the best :"
The Dame mov'd off, to be undrest :
The chimes went twelve : the guests withdrew:
But when, or how, Hans hardly knew.
Some modern anecdotes aver,
He nodded in his elbow-chair ;
From thence was carried off to bed :
John held his heels, and .Nan his heads
My Lady was disturbid : new sorrow!
Which Hans must answer for to-morrow.
In bed then view this happy pair ;
And think how Hymen triumph'd there.
Hans fast eep as foon as laid ;"
The duty of the night unpaid:
The waking Dame, with thoughts opprefty
That made her hate both him and rest :
By such a husband, fuch a wife !
'Twas Acme's and Septimius' life :
The Lady figh’d: the Lover snord :
The punctual Devil kept his word ;
Appear’d to honest Hans again ;
But not at all by Madam seen :
And giving him a magic ring,
Fit for the finger of a king;
Dear Hans, said he, this jewel take,
And wear it long for Satan's fake :
'Twill do your business to a hair:
For, long as you this ring shall wear,
As fure as I look over Lincoln,
That ne'er shall happen which you think on.
Hans took the ring with joy extreme (All this was only in a And, thrusting it beyond his joint, 'Tis done, he cry'd': I've gain’d my point. What point, said she, you ugly beast You neither give me joy, nor reft :.
'Tis done. What's done, you drunken bear? You've thrust your finger God knows where.
IRE, water, woman, are man's ruin ;
Says wise Professor Vander Brüin.
By Aames a house I hir'd was loft
Last year : and I must pay the coft.
This spring the rains o’erflow'd my ground:
And my best Flanders mare was drown'd.
A flave I am to Clara's eyes :
The gipsy knows her power, and fies.
Fire, water, woman, are my ruin:
And great thy wisdom, Vander Brüin.
PAULO PURGANTI aná lis WIFE;
an HONEST, but a SIMPLE PAIR.
* Eft enim quiddam, idque intelligitur in omni virtute,
“quod deceat: quod cogitatione magis à virtute po"teft quàm re feparari.”
Cic. de Off. 1. i.
BEYOND the fix?d and settled rules
Of vice and virtue in the schools,
Beyond the letter of the law,
Which keeps our men and maids in awe,
The better sort should set before 'em
A grace, a manner, a decorum ;
Something, that gives their acts a light;
Makes them not only just, but bright ;
And sets them in that open fame,
Which witty malice cannot blame.
For 'tis in life, as 'tis in painting :
Much may be right, yet much be wanting;
From lines drawn true, our eye may trace
A foot, a knee, a hand, a face;
May justly own the picture wrought
Exact to rule, exempt from fault :
Yet, if the colouring be not there,
The Titian stroke, the Guido air ;
To nicest judgement show the piece,
At best 'twill only not displease :
It would not gain on Jersey's eye ;
Bradford would frown, and set it by.
Thus in the piéture of our mind
The action may be well design'd;
Guided by law, and bound by duty;
Yet want this je ne scai quoi of beauty :
And though its error may be such,
As Knags and Burgess cannot hit ;
yet may feel the nicer touch
Of Wicherley's or Congreve’s wit.
What is this talk ? replies a friend,
And where will this dry moral end?
The truth of what you here lay down
By some example should be shown.-
With all my heart for once; read online