His house lay tight, and kept in good repair,
Befide a heath, and in a healthy air;
Close in a corner, couch'd behind a row
Of spreading trees; the building fnug and low.
The man was warm, with wealth in private ftor'd,
And abler far to purchase than his Lord.
He knew his honour's humour to a hair,
When it was fit to ask, or to forbear.
Whene'er his Lordship wanted a supply,
He with a bufie careful face would fly;
Run here and there; then bring the luggage home,
And only help his master to his own.
He (as thofe gen'rous Lords are use to do)
Not only thanks him, but rewards him too.
This fteward rode upon a sturdy jade,
And on his fide he wore a rusty blade. I
A wheelwright he had been, in Norfolk known,
In all the villages near Baldswell town:
Tuck'd round his wafte, like any Fryer was he,
And ftill rode hindmoft of the company.
The Sumner, or Apparitor.
HIS Sumner was not over-ftock'd with
He had a bloated, broad, cherubic face;
Of fiery hue; with hollow eyes and narrow;
Red as a cock, and lech'rous as a sparrow.
Black were his eye-brows, briftled was his beard,
And much the children his stern vifage fear'd.
His nofe with carbuncles was overspread,
His cheeks with white welks on a ground of red.
No inward med'cine he cou'd e'er procure,
Had pow'r fufficient to effect their cure.
Not new-kill'd quick-filver with ceruse too,
Brimftone, nor oil of Tartar, ought cou'd do.
Strong bloody wine he lov'd, and well-drefs'd fish,
And stunk of garlick like a Spanish dish:
When he was drunk, he'd talk a man to death,
And belch out Latin with unfavoury breath.
Two or three common fragments he could fay;
No wonder, for he heard it all the day:
But if you prefs'd him farther, you might fee
A fudden end of his philofophy.
A leud young fellow, for a quart of wine,
Might for a twelvemonth have his concubine.
He taught his loose companions in their sport,
T'evade the censure of th' Arch-deacon's court:
But if a rich libidinous prize he found,
Him he enclos'd within his bawdy pound.
This, as no vulgar fecret he would tell,
A large full purfe is the Arch-deacon's Hell.
If rich mens fouls within their purses lie,
'Tis juft their fouls be punish'd there, fay I.
To him all wenches in the bishop's fee
Paid publick tribute, or a private fee.
Boldly he rode, a garland on his head;
Of all unmarried men and maids, the dread.
Pardon-monger laft brought up the rear,
With patriarchal face, and holy leer:
His hair was of the hue of yellow wax,
Strait and unequal as a ftrieke of flax.
Yet long, and thin it grew from his large head,
And all his brawny fhoulders over fpread;
Divided into parcels here and there:
No gaudy hood conceal'd his golden hair;
For that, with care, was in his wallet laid,
Where many curiofities he had.
Except a little cap, he rode all bare;
With glaring eyes, like a new-ftarted hare.
A holy figure ftitch'd upon his cap;
His wallet hung before him on his lap,
Stuff'd and cramm'd full of pardons, newly come,
For greedy zealots, piping hot from Rome.
Shrill was his voice as any mountain goat,
Aloud he said his orisons by rote:
A beard he never had, nor e'er will have,
No barber took the pains that chin to shave:
He might have been a gelding, or a mare;
But never fure from Berwick ev'n to Ware,
Was Pard'ner furnish'd with fuch precious geere;
For in his male he had a pollowbere,
Which piously was thought our Lady's veil;
He kept, befide, a gobbet of the fail
Which Peter had (and now this pard'ner hath)
When Chrift rebuk'd him for his little faith.
A cross he fhow'd of tin, fet full of ftones;
And, in a glass, a number of pigs bones.
With thefe, more pardons daily he'd difpenfe,
In one poor village would collect more pence,
(As by record too plainly does appear)
Than a poor parfon lab'ring all the Year.
Thus, with feign'd flatteries and holy tools,
He made the parfon and the people fools.
Howe'er, to tell the truth juft as it ftood;
He feem'd in church ecclefiaftick good.
A leffon he could read, or tell a story,
And roar the Pfalter with no little glory:
But beft of all an offertory fung;
So loud, fo chearful, that the chapel rung;
This gain'd him pence from the deluded crowd;
Therefore he fung fo chearful, and fo loud.
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