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A thousand Beauties yet unseen,
That might have tempted Saints to Sin;
Made Hirco wish he durft renew,
Th’ Attack he once had made on Sue;
What pity 'tis, he often said,
So sweet a Wench should die a Maid;
That Sukey should (and who could tell,
But that she might) lead Apes in Hell:
But Sue most bravely had withstood
His first Attacks, and call'd him lewd
And filthy Beast, and often swore,
She wonld not stay a Moment more ;
For all his Gold beneath his Roof,
If e'er he talk'd his foolish Stuff.
Aw'd by her Threats old Hirco ftrove,
To banish his ill-fated Love.
It happen'd on a certain Night,
That Hirco did some Friends invite;
About the Time when o'er the Nation,
Roast Beef and Mince Pies were in Fashion,
The sparkling Glass went briskly round,
Each Toper bravely stood his Ground;
And swore he wilh'd that Heaven's Thunder,
Would strike him dead, if he knock'd' under:
The godly Prf--n, who was there,
Said Amen to the hearty Prayer.
T'expel the rawness of the Beer,
And keep from Flegms their Stomachs clear;
Each made a Chimney of his Nose,
And clouds of Smoke around them rose,
The Smoke the upper Regions gain'd,
And round the Brain the Cloud remain'd.
But now 'twas late, the watchful Cock,
Had long since crow'd it Twelve a Clock.
And each Man thought, tho' none had Grace
To own it, Bed the proper'st Place.
Here one extended on the Floor,
In Liquor swam, yet callid for more;
A second swallow'd whilft he cou'd,
But at the last, went out and spu'd;
Another roar'd and hoop'd aloud,
A fourth reel'd round the Room, and yow'do
In spite of Hirco's old Oktober,
G-d da da d--mn him he was fober,
Most of the rest to Sleep began,
Amongst 'em there was scarce'a Männán bons,
Had Strength, but Hirco and the Prf-n,
Their Stools upright to set their Arse on,
With Grief the Master of the Feast,
Beheld the State of ev'ry Guest;
He wilh'd he could with all his Heart,
New Vigour to 'em all impart;
My Friends, faid he, come let's chear up,
And briskly take the other Cup;
A Plague, what makes you all fo dull?
I han't got half my Belly full;
Rouse up for Shame, my jolly Boys,
Be merry, sing, and make a noise;
I've in my Cellar now a Tub,
Believe me, Friends, of charming Bub;
To keep it longer would be Folly,
I'll pierce it now and we'll be Jolly:
He said, and rising on his Legs,
Takes up a Piercer, cuts some Pegs.
Seizes a Tankard, thus equipt,
Down Stairs into the Cellar dipt.
But Hirco's Maid, 'twixt Hope and Fear, Her Master's last Discourse did hear. For tho' she kept her Body chaste, And Love unlawful would not tafte, Yet the poor Girl was often dry, And loy'd good Liquor by the by; And when wold Hirce was without, She'd to the Tub, pull Veot-Pin out; And with a Straw the drunken Gypsy, Would sometimes suck, 'till he was Tipfys And, as she never chose the worst, This Tub had often quench'd her Thirst.
But now the found the Time was come,
T'acquit her, or pronounce her Dooms
Her Master now must miss his Drink,
Or else, to Morrow, he would think,
His Crew had, what was missing, drank,
And ne'er mistruft his Sukey's Prank:
Not dreaming, that by frequent Vent,
The Spirit of the Beer was fpent;
And that 'twould be but poor and flar'
poor Soul ne'er thought of that.
Mean while the busy honeft Drunkard, Had with it fillid a swinging Tankard; And from the Cellar making hafte, Return’d to give his Friends a Taste. By Right Divine, the learned Afs, Must on the Ale his Judgment pass; He drank a Bumper, cry'd, a Pox, This cursed Beer e'nt Orthodox; Took t'other Glass and shook his Head, O fye, said he, 'tis flat and dead. As Hirco's Faith was very little, He never could believe each tittle; Not ev'n of what was given out, To be Damnation, but to Doubt, Much less he credited a Tale, Which so disgrac'd his choicest Ale.
On Sanctity he cast a Frown, ..
ci Then fill'd a Glass and soak'd it down, But how bewilder'd did he look, To find that Roger Truth had spoke'; . He fretted, rav’d, the Compass swore, And curs'd 'till he could Curse no more. The P--rf--n crys, why here's a Clatter, Will Swearing, pray now, mend the Matter? The Beer I do believe well brew'd, The Fault's the Vessel where it stood; Or else the Bung-hole is in Fault, By not being stopt up as it ought. Cry'd Hirco I am either blind, Or in a Moment's Time I'll find, The fatal Cause of this Disaster. Sukey went down to light her Master ; But, Lod! how filly did she look! Like Aspen Leaves each Member shook, And she was in such Piteous Fright, She scarce had Pow'r to hold the Light.
Mean while the Don bi his Nuckle found, The Barrel gave an empty sound; Surpriz’d, he crys, I am undone, Good God! Why, half my Beer is gone. The P-rf--n from above reply'd, Look under, and on ev'ry side;