LETTERS.

TO THE REV. JOHN KENDALL.1

Moor Park, February 11, 1691-2.

If anything made me wonder at your letter, it was your almost inviting me to do so in the beginning; which, indeed, grew less upon knowing the occasion, since it is what I have heard from more than one in and about Leicester. And for the friendship between us, as I suppose yours to be real, so I think it would be proper to imagine mine, until you find any cause to believe it pretended; though I might have some quarrel at you in three or four lines, which are very ill-bestowed in complimenting me. And as to that of my great prospects of making my fortune, on which as your kindness only looks on the best side, so my own cold temper, and unconfined humour, is a much greater hindrance than any fear of that which is the subject of your letter.

I shall speak plainly to you, that the very observations I made, with going half a mile beyond the University, have taught me experience enough not to think of marriage till I settle my fortune in the world, which I am sure will not be in some years; and even then itself [sic.], I am so hard to please, that I suppose I shall put it off to the other world. How all that suits with my behaviour to the woman in hand, you may easily imagine, when you know there is something in me which must

2

Vicar of Thornton, in Leicestershire.-Scott. He had written, it seems, a

letter of advice in regard to Swift's love affair with Miss Jones.

See Life of Swift.

be employed, and, when I am alone, turns all for want of practice into speculation and thought; insomuch that, these seven weeks I have been here, I have writ and burnt, and writ again, upon all manner of subjects-more, perhaps, than any man in England. And this is it which a great person of honour in Ireland1 (who was pleased to stoop so low as to look into my mind) used to tell me, that my mind was like a conjured spirit, that would do mischief if I would not give it employment. It is this humour that makes me so busy, when I am in company, to turn all that way; and, since it commonly ends in talk, whether it be love or common conversation, it is all alike. This is so common, that I could remember twenty women in my life, to whom I have behaved myself just the same way; and, I profess, without any other design than that of entertaining myself when I am very idle, or when something goes amiss in my affairs. This I always have done as a man of the world, 2 when I had no design for anything grave in it, and what I thought, at worst, a harmless impertinence. But, whenever I begin to take sober resolutions, or, as now, to think of entering into the Church, I never found it would be hard to put off this kind of folly at the porch.

Besides, perhaps, in so general a conversation among that sex, I might pretend a little to understand where I am when I am going to choose for a wife; and though the cunning sharper of the town may have a cheat put upon him, yet it must be cleanlier carried than this, which you think I am going to top upon myself. And, truly, if you knew how metaphysical I am that way, you would little fear I should venture on one who has given so much occasion to tongues; for, though the people is a lying sort of beast (and, I think, in Leicester above all parts that I ever was in), yet they seldom talk without some glimpse of a

His early patrou, Lord Berkeley.

2 Swift, it will be remembered, was now not more than twenty-three years of age.

HIS OBJECTIONS TO MARRIAGE.

73

reason, which I declare (so unpardonably jealous I am) to be a sufficient cause for me to hate any woman any farther than a bare acquaintance. Among all the young gentlemen that I have known, who have ruined themselves by marrying (which, I assure you, is a great number), I have made this general rulethat they are either young, raw, and ignorant scholars who, for want of knowing company, believe every silk petticoat includes an angel; or, else, these have been a sort of honest young men who, perhaps, are too literal in rather marrying than burning, and entail a misery on themselves and posterity by an overacting modesty. I think I am very far excluded from listing under either of these two heads. I confess I have known one or two men of sense enough who, inclined to frolics, have married and ruined themselves out of a maggot. But a thousand household thoughts, which always drive matrimony out of my mind whenever it chances to come there, will, I am sure, frighten me from that. Besides that I am naturally temperate, and never engaged in the contrary, which usually produces these effects.

1

Your hints at particular stories I do not understand; and, having never heard them but so hinted, thought it proper to give you this, to shew you how I thank you for your regard of me; and, I hope, my carriage will be so as my friends need not be ashamed of the name. I should not have behaved myself after that manner I did in Leicester, if I had not valued my own entertainment beyond the obloquy of a parcel of very wretched fools, which I solemnly pronounce the inhabitants of Leicester to be, and so I contented myself with retaliation. I hope you

1 "This sentence," observes Scott, "is very inaccurate" (grammatically). But it is singular that his principal editor should have thought it worth while to call attention to this particular sentence, which, by comparison with many other sentences of Swift, might almost escape the censure of a Lindley Murray or even Cobbett. In fact, some of the most admired English writers of the first half of the last century, not excepting Addison or Goldsmith, are remarkable more for ease of style than for graminatical correctness,

will forgive this trouble; and so, with my service to your good wife, I am, gcod cousin, your very affectionate friend and

servant.

To MR. WILLIAM SWIFT.'

Moor Park, Nov. 29, 1692.

My sister has told me you was pleased (when she was here) to wonder I did so seldom write to you. I hope you have been so kind to impute it neither to ill-manners or disrespect. I have always thought that sufficient from one who has always been but too troublesome to you. Besides, I know your aversion to impertinence, and God knows so very private a life as mine can furnish a letter with little else; for I often am two or three months without seeing anybody besides the family; and now my sister is gone, I am likely to be more solitary than before.

I am still to thank you for your care in my testimonium;3 and it is to very good purpose, for I never was more satisfied than in the behaviour of the University of Oxford to me. I had all the civilities I could wish for, and so many substantial favours, that I am ashamed to have been more obliged in a few weeks to strangers than ever I was in seven years to Dublin College. I am not to take orders till the King gives me a prebend; and Sir William Temple, though he promises me the certainty of it, yet is less forward than I could wish, because, I

1 The uncle of the writer, living in Ireland.

2 Used, of course, in its etymological and proper meaning-matter which is not to the purpose.

3 For the certificate of his degree, in consequence of which he was ad. mitted ad eundem at Oxford, June 14, 1692.-Deane Swift.

Here are the grounds of a quarrel which happened between him and Sir W. Temple in 1694.-D. S.

ON POPULAR SUPERSTITIONS.

75

suppose, he believes I shall leave him; and, upon some accounts, he thinks me a little necessary to him. If I were affording entertainment, or doing you any satisfaction by my letters, I should be very glad to perform it that way, as I am bound to do it by all others.

I am sorry my fortune should fling me so far from the best of my relations; but hope that I shall have the happiness to see you some time or other. Pay my humble service to my good aunt, and the rest of my relations, if you please.

To MR. DEANE SWIFT.'

Leicester, June 3, 1694.

I received your kind letter to-day from your sister, and am very glad to find you will spare time from business so far as to write a long letter to one you have none at all with but friendship, which, as the world passes, is, perhaps, one of the idlest things in it.

It is a pleasure to me to see you sally out of your road, and take notice of curiosities, of which I am very glad to have part, and desire you to set by some idle minutes for a commerce which shall ever be dear to me; and, from so good an observer as you may easily be, cannot fail of being useful. I am sorry to see so much superstition in a country so given to trade. I half used to think those two to be incompatible. Not that I utterly dislike your processions for rain or fair weather which, as trifling as they are, yet have good effects, to quiet common heads, and infuse a gaping devotion among the rabble. But your burning the old woman-unless she were a duenna-I shall

1A cousin of Dr. Swift, then at Lisbon.-S.