I'll engage to confer all the cardinal virtues on our favourite candidate, by a single squeeze of my free, and impartial press.

Sharp. No doubt of it, Frisket; you printers are devilish keen blades, and can cut up any party, according to the price paid for dissection.

Ferment. All trades must live; why should not printers be paid as well as other tradesfolks? You do not consider what risks they run-in danger of being prosecuted by Government, if they disclose too freely the state of public affairs; and of being thrown into the mashing tub of popular indignation, if they approve of the measures of administration.

Gosling. Why, yes, the most ignorant fellow will be meddling, and although as stupid as my goose, he will presume to censure those measures as you call them, by which our rulers, like just and judicious tradesmen, are enabled to cut the coat according to the cloth. If great men will cabbage a little now and then, we ought to make some allowance for human frailty. Mrs. Gos ling says we are all no better than we should be; and when I ventured to vindicate the public spirit of the Burgesses of this most ancient Corporation, she called it a rotten-borough, and threatened to throw the goose at my head, if I did not sell my vote for one hundred pounds at least.

Tangible. Nay, Gosling, surely you are not such a goose as to expect such a sum for allowing a good-natured gentleman, to take the trouble of appearing as your proxy in Parliament. There is also something due to rank, station, and influence, you know. There's Mr. Signum the banker, will expect two hundred pounds; the Reverend Simon Cleanhands an equal sum, and I shall consider myself entitled to half as much. If you can get fifty pounds for your vote, you may think you have taken the proper measure of the illustrious Mr. Speculate, our worthy representative when he has paid handsomely for that enviable bonour.

Gosling. Well, well, I'm no scholar; I must be content with what I can get. All men, I find, are as partial to cabbage as tailors themselves.

Pinch. Why not, Gosling? For my own part, I can boast of producing as fine light palatable bread as any man in England.

Ferment. Yes, Pinch, when weighed you will be found wanting.

. Pinch. Whatever deficiency there may be in my weight, neighbour Ferment, there is a still greater lack in your manufacture. Your ale has neither body, nor spirit.

Gosling. Then it resembles our good old Borough.

Tangible. Hold your tongue, you goose! Our

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Borough is highly venerable, respectable, and valuable. It is an excellent merchantable commodity, and reminds me of a couplet of Hudibras:

The real value of a thing,

Is just as much as it will bring.

SATIRICAL STRICTURES ON MODERN EDUCA

TION.

The youth of all the higher and middle classes in society have a manifest advantage over those in a lower station; yet it will be found that, in consequence of injudicious management, they derive little benefit from contingent circumstances. The indulgence of infantine caprice, so prevalent in this metropolis, is one great source of folly and vice. From a ridiculous affectation of tenderness, many mothers lay the foundation of the future obstinacy of their sons, by gratifying their childish passions. Such falsely good-natured beings will exclaim, "I cannot bear to make my child unhappy, even for a moment; poor fellow! he will have trouble enough when he grows up; sorrow will come too soon!" This absurd idea is very common among parents, who imagine their children will be taught the regulation of their passions by experience.

Boys are indulged, lest severe restrictions

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should break their spirit, and render them timid; hence they become assuming and impudent, and on their entrance into life are like a luxuriant tree, whose superabundance of branches and foliage prevents it from producing any good fruit, till the severe hand of experience lops its redundancies.

How irrational are those parents who permit their sons to attain maturity, with only a few fashionable accomplishments! They step out into life with all their passions and desires in full vigour; where, impatient of contradiction, and unaccustomed to controul, they are often involved in embarrassments and quarrels. Enchanted by the smile of pleasure, the giddy youth revels in her illicit enjoyments. Fascinated by public amusements, and misled by dissolute companions, he pursues the phantom of happiness without reflection. The stews, the gaming-table, and the tavern, consume his health and fortune; till ruined, emaciated, and forsaken, the wretch is left to pine in hopeless despondency; or unable to meet his naked heart alone, terminates his vain-glorious career by suicide! Such, alas! are too often the fruits of an improper education.

Young clergymen would be the most proper instructors of youth. Being well taught themselves, and coming fresh from classic ground, with their faculties invigorated by polite learn

ing, they are fully competent to the task of inculcating knowledge; and, from their preparatory study of ethics, they are proper guardians of the urorals of others.

Men of genius would find ample room for their active minds to expatiate, in tracing, and aiding, the development of the human understanding. Nor will any man of sense object to the avocation, who will take the trouble to recollect that. some illustrious writers have presided over youth, as masters and assistants in academies. Milton, Johnson, and Goldsmith, "poured the fresh instruction o'er the mind;" nor can we rationally consider that employment as a degradation of talents, which contributes so essentially to the diffusion of knowledge.

When the pupil has been initiated in the ele ments of useful science, and while the susceptible heart throbs with generous feelings, the beauty of morality should be exhibited in the most engaging garb. The simple and sublime precepts of Christ, will awaken that benevolence which is the source of human felicity on earth. The tutor will have an opportunity to contrast the fanciful. doctrines of the heathen, with the elevated and godlike dignity of Christianity; and the unerring precept, "Whatsoever ye would that all men should do unto you, do ye even so unto them," will, by making an early and permanent im