The GOAT without a Beard.
TIS certain, that the modifh paffions
Defcend among the croud, like fashions.
Excufe me then; if pride, conceit,
(The manners of the fair and great)
I give to monkeys, affes, dogs,
Fleas, owls, goats, butterflies, and hogs.
I fay that these are proud. What then?
I never faid, they equal men.
A Goat (as vain as Goat can be)
Affected fingularity.
Whene'er a thymy bank he found,
He roll'd upon the fragrant ground;
And then with fond attention stood,
Fix'd, o'er his image in the flood.
I hate my frowzy beard he cries ;
My youth is loft in this difguife.
Did not the females know my vigour,
Well might they loath this rev'rend figure.
Refolv'd to fmooth his fhaggy face,
He fought the barber of the place,
A flippant monkey, fpruce and smart,
Hard by, profefs'd the dapper art,
His pole with pewter basons hung,
Black rotten teeth in order ftrung,
Rang'd cups that in the window flood,
Lin'd with red rags, to look like blood,
Did well his threefold trade explain,
Who fhav'd, drew teeth, and breath'd a vein.
The Goat he welcomes with an air,
And feats him in his wooden chair:
Mouth, nofe, and cheek, the lather hides
Light, fmooth, and swift, the razor glides.
I hope your custom, Sir, fays Pug.
Sure never face was half fo fmug!
The Goat, impatient for applaufe, Swift to the neighbouring hill withdraws; The fhaggy people grinn'd and ftar'd.
Heighday! what's here? without a beard!
Say, brother, whence the dire disgrace?
What envious hand hath robb'd your face ?
When thus the fop with fmiles of scorn:
Are beards by civil nations worn?
Ev'n Muscovites have mow'd their chins.
Shall we, like formal Capucins,
Stubborn in pride, retain the mode,
And bear about the hairy load?
Whene'er we through the village ftray,
Are we not mock'd along the way;
Infulted with loud fhouts of fcorn,
By boys our beards difgrac'd and torn?
Were you no more with Goats to dwell,
Brother, I grant you reason well,
Replies a bearded chief. Befide,
If boys can mortify thy pride,
How wilt thou ftand the ridicule
Of our whole flock? affected fool!
Coxcombs, diftinguish'd from the reft,
To all but coxcombs are a jeft.
FABLE XXIII.
The Old WOMAN and her CATS.
WHO friendship with a knave hath made,
Is judg'd a partner in the trade.
The matron, who conducts abroad!
A willing nymph, is thought a baw'd ;
And if a modeft girl is feen
With one who cures a lover's fpleen,
We guess her, not extremely nice,
And only wish to know her price.
'Tis thus, that on the choice of friends
Our good or evil name depends.
A wrinkled Hag, of wicked fame,
Befide a little fmoaky flame
Sate hov'ring, pinch'd with age and froft;.
Her shrivell'd hands, with veins emboss'd,
Upon her knees her weight fuftains,
While palfy fhook her crazy brains :
She mumbles forth her backward pray'rs,
An untam'd fcold of fourfcore years.
About her fwarm'd a num'rous brood
Of Cats, who lank with hunger mew'd.
Teaz'd with their cries, her choler grew,
And thus the fputter'd. Hence, ye crew.
Fool that I was, to entertain
Such imps, fuch fiends, a hellish train !
Had ye been never hous'd and nurs'd,
I, for a witch had ne'er been curs'd,
To you I owe, that crouds of boys
Worry me with eternal noise;
Straws laid across, my pace retard,
The horse-thoe's nail'd (each threshold's guard)
The ftunted broom the wenches hide,
For fear that I fhould up and ride;
They stick with pins my bleeding feat,
And bid me fhow my fecret teat.
To hear you prate would vex a faint;
Who hath moft reafon of complaint?
Replies a Cat. Let's come to proof.
Had we ne'er ftarv'd beneath your roof,
We had, like others of our race,
In credit liv'd as beafts of chace.
'Tis infamy to serve a hag;
Cats are thought imps, her broom a nag;
And boys against our lives combine,
Becaufe, 'tis faid, your cats have nine.
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