MEAT BEFORE GRACE.

203

that Lord Grey carried into effect the same plan of reform in 1831 that he had advocated in 1792-at great inconvenience, considerable expense, and some danger, came on outside places by heavy coaches to the great Grey dinner, and astonished their families on their return with descriptions of the Immense Wooden Erection, and the great lustre from the TheatreRoyal, dependent from the centre of the roof, and lighted with gas by pipes laid on purpose in cuts from the main conduita Fairy Palace!

North. My friend Hamilton is a man of skill, taste, and genius; and I am told the Pavilion was beautiful.

Shepherd. Was the denner really in great part devoored afore Yearl Grey took his seat by the side o' your worthy freen, the Lord Provost ?

Tickler. Not in great part devoured, James. The enemies of the Church began collecting their tithes. Perhaps a dozen tongues, as many how-towdies, half-a-score hams, two or three pigeon and some fifty mutton-pies were gobbled up without grace and I believe a few buttocks of beef met with the same premature fate; but there was nothing like a general attack-and I wish that to be known in England, for the credit of my countrymen.

Shepherd. Abstinence under sic circumstances did them immortal honour-for imitation and sympathy are twa o' the strongest active principles in human natur; and the wonder is, that in ten minutes they didna soop the board. Cry "Fire" in a crooded kirk, and the congregation treads and chokes itsel to death in makin for the doors. Cry "Fa' to" in a crooded Pavilion, and at the first clatter o' knife and fork on a trencher, what could hae been expeckit but that twa thousand five hunder Reformers would hae been ruggin awa at fish, flesh, and fule afore they discovered that it was a false alarm?

Tickler. The justification is complete.

Shepherd. Besides, them that did fasten on the vittals-by your accoont few in nummer-perhaps no aboon a hunder or twa-havin been in the open air a' day, assistin at the Procession, maun hae been desperate hungry—and few temptations are waur to resist than a sappy ham. Whigs, too, are great gluttons

Tickler. We Tories again are epicures.

204

LORD GREY'S SPEECH.

Shepherd. As may be seen at a Noctes, where we eat little, but very fine.

North. I cannot charge my memory with a case of antebenediction gluttony at a great public Conservative dinner. Can you, James?

Shepherd. I never hear the grace at a great public denner— though I sometimes see an auld body at a distance haudin up his haun-but I certainly canna charge my memory wi' ony instance o' ony pairt o' ony Christian company consumin tongues, how-towdies, hams, pigeon and mutton pies, and buttocks o' beef, afore the arrival of the guest in whase honour, and in whase presence, it was intended the denner should be devoored-to say naething o' his participation. Sic behaviour is in fact mair like beasts than men-and I dinna believe onything like it ever took place even in a dowgkennel. Jowlers are vorawcious brutes; but they sit on their hurdies wi' waterin chaps, till the whupper-in or the huntsman gies the signal-or cries, Soss! Soss! Soss! and then with one accord the canine crunch their cracklin.

North. Lord Grey spoke well; his demeanour was dignified; and he was listened to and looked at-as he deserved by his friends-with respect and admiration.

Shepherd. By you?

North. My dear Shepherd, I was not there-but I had an account of the evening from a Whig friend, on whose face I never can look without believing that he is a Tory. To my mind, Lord Grey disgraced himself by his vile misrepresentation of the sentiments that had been lately expressed by many distinguished Irish Protestants, lay and clerical, respecting the state of the Church and its affairs—and they are closely interwoven with the vital interests of the whole community-sentiments honourable to their character as men, and perfectly consistent with all Christian charities—but the expression of which had been grossly falsified by base reporters, who had been exposed by the calumniated to universal scorn. In this Lord Grey showed obstinate ignorance, at once contemptible and hateful; and on reading it, I covered my face with my hands to hide the burning blushes of shame that tingled there for sake of Lord Brougham, who chimed in with the peevish and malignant reproach—while he had the brazen assurance to declare, that he had heard then for the first time of the shocking outrage, by fierce Protestant bigotry,

BROUGHAM.-CANNING.-THE TIMES.

205

on the meek Popish spirit of love-for that he, forsooth, had not read the sevenpenny newspapers for some time back-an absurd and indeed incredible inconsistency in the grim genitor of the Twa-Bawbee Magazine.

Shepherd. Me and Hairy Brumm's great freens, and batin yoursel, sir, he's the grandest companion I ken, either in a mixed company o' ordinar dimensions, or at a twa-haun crack. He seems to hae made a kind o' triumphal progress or procession through Scotland in a post-chaise, and nae dout occasionally fowre horses; and I was glad to see, for my ain sake, that the Lord Chancellor received the freedom o' the same brughs that, twunty years sin' syne, had conferred that honour on me for the Queen's Wake.

Tickler. Scotland has reason to be proud of your friend, James; for with her he passed his brilliant youth, and within the walls of our own old College, and of our own old Parliament House, was first seen fitfully shining that mental fire which ere long burst into so bold and bright a blaze, and illumined his high career in the English Courts of Law, and the greatest Legislative Assembly in the world.

Shepherd. He was a real orator.

Tickler. He led the Commons—and had no equal but Canning.

North. He never led the Commons, and he was no match for Canning.

Shepherd. What ails the Times at Hairy Brumm ?
North. Hang me if I know.

Shepherd. They'll no be able to rin him doun, sir.

North. The Times hits hard-fights at points-is good with both hands-up to all the manœuvres of the London Ring-always in tip-top condition-and in a close seldom fails in getting the fall either by back-lock or cross-buttock. He can lick all the London dailies-though some of them are strong wiry chaps, and very ugly customers-all but the Standard;-and the fine science and great strength of the Standard have given him the championship of the Press.

Shepherd. They say the Times fechts booty?

North. They who said so lied-he is above a bribe—and by his own power purchases his own gold. But there are other passions besides the "auri sacra fames"-other devils besides Mammon.

Shepherd. I weel ken that. There's Belial-and there's Beelzebub-and there's Lucifer-and there's

North. These three are sufficient-you need not mention any more—and they are all gentlemen of the press.

Shepherd. And a' against Hairy Brumm?

North. Certainly not-unless they have lost all regard for consistency of character. Lucifer and he are friends for life.

Shepherd. I smell brimstone.

Tickler. Merely candle-snuff. One cannot choose but smile to hear the Times telling how he patronised Brougham, and made him Lord Chancellor of England. Yet the boast is not without truth. The Press was a powerful auxiliar to his own great power-and in his favour the Times for years led the Press. It cut down his foes-it cleared his way—it cheered him on-it "bound his brows with victorious wreaths; " and now that "the winter of its discontent" hath come-the question is, will it have the force of frost or blight to wither them?

Shepherd. Na.

North. But it is base in Brougham to abuse the Press, merely because it now abuses him; for, during all the many long years it bore him up on its strong wings-yet he of himself could fly and soar-the Press, he well knew, was systematically maligning better men, his rivals in the race; and never one word did he utter in its dispraise, till he had laid his own hand on the goal-and then, on an unwonted and unwelcome clamour assailing his ears-loud, indeed, but less truculent than had, to his great satisfaction, tormented superior spirits-superior inasmuch as Wisdom is a nobler gift than Wit, and TALENT but the servant of Virtue-then he turned round, with "visage all inflamed Shepherd. "Sawtan dilated stood ". North. and told the people of England, that he regarded the Press with contempt and scorn!

Shepherd. Hairy shouldna hae said that- -for o' a' the steam-engines that ever clattered, the maist like a leevin giant is the Printin Machine.

North. With all his sins, Lord Brougham is worth a coalwaggon-train-ful of Durhams. It is too ludicrous for laughing to see Lambton pitting himself against such a man. True,

THE DURHAM DEMONSTRATION.

207 he confesses his inferiority in powers of speech; but in the very confession his poor pride is apparent for by that candour he thinks he proves his claim to superior worth. Now the truth is, that the Coalmaster approaches nearer to the Chancellor in eloquence than in any other natural or acquired gift; for it is wonderful how well he speaks, and he possesses no despicable power of jaw. He is a third-rate radical rhetorician, and has a command of loose lumbering language, very unpleasant to listen to, which he can atrabilariously keep delivering for a trying extent of time. But in powers of thought he is a mere man of the multitude; in his harangues nobody looks for ideas; and his very admirers direct you, for proofs of his abilities, to his forehead and his face. Both are indeed beautiful-but "fronti nulla fides" is an old saw and a wise one—and he would soon become indeed a jaundiced observer, who appealed to the colour of his cheeks. Brougham is no beauty; but his mug is a book, in which men may read strange matters and take him as he stands, face and figure, and you feel that there is a man of great energy, and commanding intellect. His brain swarms with ideas-of which some have been almost magnificent—and his heart has been often visited by high and generous emotions, which but for a restless temper might have found there an abiding-place; and but that conscience has too often been overcome by ambition, might have made him morally as well as intellectually great, and one of the most illustrious worthies of England.

Shepherd. Wasna't Lord Durham that flew intil sic a fury again' the newspapers for sayin something about the flag o' his pleesur yatt,and was for finin and imprisonin folk for some folly o' theirs about some folly o' his, somehoo or ither conneckit wi' the threecolore, and the Cherburgh rods, and the Tyne Louisa, and the Newcastle colliers, and some nonsense about depopulation o' a village, and breakin doun some rails in the Isle o' Wight, and compromeesin some act, by payin the law expenses, and makin affidavits about falsehoods, and

North. It was and I am only astonished, James, at your retaining so distinct a recollection of so many pitiable expo

1 "Lord Durham's yacht had hoisted the tricolor over the British flag, and he prosecuted the Newcastle Journal (a Tory paper) for chronicling the fact."American Editor.