Simp. May I be fo bold to fay fo, Sir? Simp. I thank your worship: I shall make my ma- Fal. Ay, that there was, mine Hoft; one, that hath taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning. Enter Bardolph. Bard. Out, alas, Sir, cozenage! meer cozenage! varletto. . Bard. Run away with the cozeners; for fo foon as I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off from behind one of them in a flough of mire, and fet fpurs, and away; like three German devils, three Doctor Faufus's. Hoft. They are gone but to meet the Duke, villain; do not fay they be fled; Germans are honest men. Enter Evans. Eva. Where is mine Hoft? Hoft. What is the matter, Sir? Eva. Have a care of your entertainments; there is a friend o'mine come to town, tells me, there is three cozen-jermans that has cozen'd all the Hofts of Readings, of Maiden-head, of Colebrook, of horfes and mony. I tell you for good will, look you; you are wife, and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks, and 'tis not convenient you should be cozen'd; fare you well. [Exit. Enter Caius. Caius. Ver' is mine Hoft de Jarteer? Hofl. Here, mafter Doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma. Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat; but it is tell-a-me, dat you make a grand preparation for a Duke de Ja many; many; by my trot, der is no Duke, dat the Court is know, to come: I tell you for good will; adieu. [Ex. Hoft. Hue and cry, villain, go! affift me, Knight, I am undone; fly, run, hue and cry! Villain, I am undone ! [Exit. Fal. I would, all the world might be cozen'd, for I have been cozened and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the Court, how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been wash'd and cudgel'd, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermens boots with me. I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, 'till I were as creft-faln as a dry'd pear. I never profper'd fince I forfwore my felf at Primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to fay my prayers, I would repent. Enter Miftrefs Quickly. Now, whence come you? Quic. From the two parties, forfooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and fo they fhall be both beftow'd. I have fuffer'd more for their fakes, more than the villainous inconftancy of man's difpofition is able to bear. Quic. And have not they fuffer'd? yes, I warrant, fpeciously one of them; miftrefs Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white fpot about her. Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I was beaten my felf into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brainford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, counterfeiting the (26) action of a wood woman, deliver'd U 4 (26) Action of an old Woman,] This Reading is no great Compliment to the Sagacity of our former Editors, who could content themselves with Words, without any regard to the Reasoning. What! was it any Dexterity of Wit in Sir John Falstaff, to counterfeit the Action of an Old Woman in order to escape being apprehended for a Witch? Surely, one would imagine, This was the readieft means to bring him into fuch a Scrape: for none but old Women have ever been fupected of being Witches. liver'd me, the knave conftable had fet me i'th' ftocks, i'th' common ftocks for a witch. Quic. Sir, let me fpeak with you in your chamber; you fhall hear how things go, and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will fay fomewhat. Good hearts, what ado is here to bring you together? sure, one of you does not ferve heav'n well, that you are fo crofs'd. Fal. Come up Enter Fenton and Hoft. [Exeunt. Hoft. Mafter Fenton, talk not to me, my mind is heavy, I will give over all. Fent. Yet hear me speak; affift me in my purpose, And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee A hundred pound in gold more than your lofs. Hoft. I will hear you, mafter Fenton; and I will, at the leaft, keep your counsel. Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you Without the fhew of both. Fat Sir John Falstaff I'll fhew you here at large. Hark, good mine Hoft; Witches. The Text muft certainly be reftor'd, as I have corrected it, a wood Woman; i. e. a crazy, frantick Woman; one too wild, and filly, and unmeaning, to have either the Malice, or mischievous Subtlety of a Witch in her. I have already explain'd, and prov'd the ufe of this Term, in one of my Notes on the Two Gentlemen of Verona. Immediately to marry; fhe hath confented. Now, Sir, Made promise to the Doctor.- Now, thus it refts; Hoft. Which means fhe to deceive? father or mother? Fent. Both, my good Hoft, to go along with me; And here it refts, that you'll procure the Vicar To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one, And in the lawful name of marrying, To give our hearts united ceremony. Hoft. Well, husband your device; I'll to the Vicar. Bring you the maid, you fhall not lack a priest. Fent. So fhall I evermore be bound to thee; Befide, I'll make a present recompence. Re-enter Falstaff and Miftrefs Quickly. [Exeunt. Fal. Pr'ythee, no more pratling; go, I'll hoid. This is the third time; I hope, good luck lyes in odd numbers; away, go; they fay, there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance or death; away. Quic. I'll provide you a chain, and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns. [Exit Mrs. Quickly. Fals Fal. Away, I fay, time wears: hold up your head and mince. Enter Ford. How now, mafter Brook? mafter Brook, the matter will be known to night, or never. Be you in the Park about mid-night, at Herne's oak, and you shall fee wonders. Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, Sir, as you told me you had appointed? Fal. I went to her, mafter Brook, as you fee, like a poor old man; but I came from her, master Brook, like a poor old woman. That fame knave, Ford her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealoufie in him, master Brook, that ever govern'd frenzy. I will tell you; he beat me grievously, in the fhape of a woman; for in the fhape of a man, master Brook, I fear not Goliah with a weaver's beam; because I know also, life is a fhuttle; I am in hafte; go along with me, I'll tell you all, mafter Brook. Since I pluckt geefe, play'd truant, and whipt top, I knew not what 'twas to be beaten, 'till lately. Follow me, I'll tell you ftrange things of this knave Ford, on whom to night I will be reveng'd, and I will deliver his wife into your hand. Follow; ftrange things in hand, mafter Brook! follow. [Exeunt. A C T V. C Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender. PAGE. OME, come; we'll couch i'th' caftle-ditch, 'till we fee the light of our fairies. Remember, fon Slender, my daughter. Slen. Ay, forfooth, I have fpoke with her, and we have a nay-word how to know one another. I come to |