Slen. I had a father, Mrs. Anne; my uncle can tell you good jefts of him. Pray you, uncle, tell Mrs. Anne the jeft, how my father ftole two geefe out of a pen, good uncle.

Shal. Mistress Anne, my coufin loves you.

Slen. Ay, that I do, as well as I love any woman in Gloucestershire.

Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. Slen. Ay, that I will; come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a Squire.

Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.

Anne. Good mafter Shallow, let him woo for himfelf.

Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that. Good comfort; fhe calls you, coz: I'll leave you.

Anne. Now, mafter Slender.

Slen. Now, good mistress Anne.

Anne. What is your will?

Slen. My Will? od's-heart-lings, that's a pretty jeft, indeed, I ne'er made my Will yet, I thank heav'n; I am not fuch a fickly creature, I give heav'n praise. Anne. I mean, Mr. Slender, what would you with me?

Slen. Truly, for my own part, I would little or nothing with you; your father and my uncle have made motions; if it be my luck, fo; if not, happy man be his dole! they can tell you how things go, better than I can; you may ask your father; here he comes.

Enter Page, and Mistress Page.

Page. Now, mafter Slender: love him, daughter

Anne.

Why how now? what does master Fenton here? You wrong me, Sir, thus ftill to haunt my house: I told you, Sir, my daughter is difpos'd of. Fent. Nay, mafter Page, be not impatient. Mrs. Page, Good Mafter Fenton, come not to my

child.

-Page.

Page. She is no match for you.

Fent. Sir, will you hear me?
Page. No, good mafter Fenton:

Come, mafter Shallow; come, fon Slender, in. Knowing my mind, you wrong me, master Fenton. [Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender.

Quic. Speak to miftrefs Page.

Fent. Good miftrefs Page, for that I love your daughter

In fuch a righteous fashion as I do,

Perforce, against all checks, rebukes and manners,
I must advance the colours of my love,

And not retire. Let me have your good Will.

Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yon fool. Mrs. Page. I mean it not, I feek you a better husband.

Quic. That's my master, master Doctor.

Anne. Alas, I had rather be fet quick i'th' earth, And bowl'd to death with turneps.

Mrs. Page. Come, trouble not your felf, good master Fenton,

I will not be your friend nor enemy:

My daughter will I queftion how the loves you,
And as I find her, so am I affected.

'Till then, farewel, Sir; fhe muft needs go in,
Her father will be angry.

[Ex. Mrs. Page and Anne. Fent. Farewel, gentle miftrefs; farewel, Nan. Quic. This is my doing now. Nay, faid I, will you caft away your child on a fool, and a phyfician? look on master Fenton: this is my doing.

Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to night Give my sweet Nan this ring: there's for thy pains.

[Exit.

Quic. Now heav'n fend thee good fortune! A kind heart he hath, a woman would run through fire and water for fuch a kind heart. But yet, I would my master had mistress Anne, or I would Mr. Slender had her; or, in foot, I would Mr. Fenton had her. I will do what I can for them all three, for fo I have promis'd; and I'll be as good as my word, but fpeciously

for

for Mr. Fenton. Well, I muft of another errand to Sir John Falstaff from my two miftreffes; what a beast am I to flack it? [Exit.

SCENE changes to the Garter-Inn.

Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.

Fal. Bard. Here, Sir.
Ardolph, I fay.

Fal. Go fetch me a quart of fack, put a toast in't. [Ex. Bard.] Have I liv'd to be carry'd in a basket, like a barrow of butchers offal, and to be thrown into the Thames? well, if I be ferv'd fuch another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out and butter'd, and give them to a dog for a new-year's gift. The rogues flighted me into the river, with as little remorse (20) as they would have drown'd a bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i' th' litter; and you may know, by my fize, that I have a kind of alacrity in finking: if the bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had been drown'd, but that the fhore was shelvy and fhallow; a death that I abhor; for the water fwells a man: and what a thing fhould I have been, when I had been fwell'd? I fhould have been a mountain of mummy.

Enter Bardolph.

Now, is the Sack brew'd?

Bard. Here's Mrs. Quickly, Sir, to fpeak with you. Fal. Come, let me pour in fome fack to the Thameswater; for my belly's as cold as if I had fwallow'd

(20) As they would have drown'd a blind bitch's puppies,] I have ventur'd to tranfpofe the Adjective here, against the Authority of the printed Copies. I know, in Horfes, a Colt from a blind Stallion lofes much of the Value it might otherwife have; but are puppies ever drown'd the fooner, for coming from a blind Bitch? Two other Paffages in our Author countenance the Tranfpofition I have made.

Launce, in 2 Gent. of Verona.

One, that I fav'd from drowning, when three or four of his blind brothers and fifters went to it.

And Jago, in Othello:

Come, be a Man; drown thy felf? drown Cats and blind Puppies.

fnow

fnow-balls, for pills to cool the reins. Call her in. Bard. Come in, woman.

Enter Miftrefs Quickly.

Quic. By your leave: I cry you mercy. Give your worthip good morrow.

Fal. Take away these challices: go brew me a pottle of fack finely.

Bard. With

eggs,

Sir?

Fal. Simple of it felf: I'll no pullet-fperm in my brewage. How now?

Quic. Marry, Sir, I come to your worship from mistress Ford.

Fal. Miftrefs Ford? I have had Ford enough; I was thrown into the Ford; I have my belly full of Ford.

Quic. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: fhe does fo take on with her men; they miftook their erection,

Fal. So did I mine, to build on a foolish woman's promise.

Quic. Well, fhe laments, Sir, for it, that it would yern your heart to fee it. Her husband goes this morning a birding; fhe defires you once more to come to her between eight and nine. I must carry her word quickly; fhe'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Fal. Well, I will vifit her; tell her fo, and bid her think, what a man is: let her confider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.

Quic. I will tell her.

Fal. Do fo. Between nine and ten, fay'ft thou?

Quic. Eight and nine, Sir.

Fal. Well, be gone; I will not mifs her.

Quic. Peace be with you, Sir.

[Exit.

Fal. I marvel, I hear not of mafter Brook; he fent

me word to stay within: I like his mony well. Oba here he comes,

Enter Ford.

Ford. Blefs you, Sir.

Fal. Now, mafter Brook, you come to know what hath pafs'd between me and Ford's wife.

Ford. That, indeed, Sir John, is my business. Fal. Mafter Brook, I will not lie to you; I was at her house the hour the appointed me.

Ford. And you fped, Sir?

Fal. Very ill-favour'dly, mafter Brook.

Ford. How, Sir, did the change her determination? Fal. No, mafter Brook; but the peaking cornuto her husband, mafter Brook, dwelling in a continual larum of jealoufie, comes me in the inftant of our encoun ter; after we had embrac'd, kifs'd, protefted, and as it were spoke the prologue of our comedy, and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provok'd and inftigated by his diftemper, and, forfooth, to fearch his houfe for his wife's love.

Ford. What, while you were there?

Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he fearch for you, and could not find you?

Fal. You fhall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one miftrefs Page, gives intelligence of Ford's approach, and by her invention, and Ford's wife's diftraction, they convey'd me into a buck-basket.

Ford. A buck-basket?

Fal. Yea, a buck-basket; ramm'd me in with foul fhirts and fmocks, focks, foul ftockings, and greafie napkins; that, mafter Brook, there was the rankest compound of villainous fmell, that ever offended noftril. Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you fhall hear, mafter Brook, what I have fuffer'd, to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus cramm'd in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were call'd forth by their miftrefs, to carry me in the name of foul cloaths to Datchet-lane; they took me on their fhoulders, met the jealous knave their mafter in the door, who ask'd them