The UNIONISTS, are sadly alarmed, that the foolish subjects Catholic Emancipation and VETO, are nearly laid aside for ever. The Irish people, insist upon the Emancipation of Ireland. The Emancipation of the Protestant as well as the Catholic; one may possess the airy authority of Corporation oratory, but the two want bread. While they are mutually waging a war of talk, on speculative points, the tax-gatherers visit their counters, the soldiers beard them in the streets, and the Englishman carries off their provisions.

A few days ago, the public were accommodated with one of those spectacles so common in Ireland since the Union, an immense crowd of fat bul. locks passing through town belonging to several gentlemen of the Farming Society, on their way to England. The travelling cattle were escorted by a detachment of the starved tenantry, of the same Patriots; the horrid comparison, of fat cattle, and starved men, made the most serious impression on the spectators, and the more disgusting institution, underwent the most severe execrations for the care it takes to promote the comforts of brutes and misery of human beings.

Mr. Beresford has advertised the sale of bis Riding House, in Marlborough-Green. He has not told the public where the next TAW establish ment is to be erected. Some people imagine very reasonably, that if we build another Parliament House, a Riding House will be quite unnecessary. Either is absolutely indispensable to appease or silence the public. The whip has done its part pretty effectually, if it did not give bread, it imposed tranquillity, it made the rich happy, and silenced the hungry, it produced the Union, it inverted the proverb, for it kept the poor at home, and sent the rich away.

The Company of the Bank of Ireland is preparing some very strong arguments in favor of Paper Currency, which are nearly ready for publication, they are 6 twelve brass pounders, and as soon as the traverses are ready they will make their public appearance; chambers for six hundred armed Unionists who are appointed to manage the arguments, are now preparing for their reception. Bonaparte is said to be a Tyrant, and every country which he has conquered is reported to be adverse to his Government; yet the same high authorities, do not say that any of the Banks in his dominions are fortified.

Dublin has a garrison of 1,5,000 men; Paris a City of four times its extent, has but 1500 men. The British newswriters say, that the people of France are indignant at the Government of a Usurper, and that the Irish are reconciled under a legitimate Administration. It appears, by the military opinion of the respective Governments, that Statesmen are better judges than Jour nalists.

Yesterday a report prevailed in the city, that the MAJOR died suddenly while giving instructions to JUGSMELLER; this alarming circumstance arrived at our Office at a very early hour this morning, and communicated such a sensation to us, as any man would feel at the loss of a good customer; though the Major is not a sincere friend of ours, yet, as we claim him as part of our stock in trade, his death would injure the sale of our Magazine, he is a valuable article and acts a principal part in our monthly exhibitions.

Mr. Conway, the Secretary, attended the whole of the last week, at the Death Bed of his little Messenger. Every effort of the pen, and the clyster, were used by

CON.

CON. and Doctor Drum-snuffle, to restore the poor creature to the use of its feet without any visible effect, the injury it received by wrestling, not with Doctor Brennan, but with Walter, was so severe in the fall, and the heavy hand of the Big Beggarman, laid such a weight on the prostrate animal, in the form of execution, that no hopes are now entertained of its

recovery.

On Tuesday last, the Pawnbroker under the patronage of St. Andrew, exchanged a dinner and a dozen of port, with Secretary Conway, for the three last paragraphs in the Weekly Messenger against the Irish Magazine. The Big money-lender, is to have a valuation of SHIFTS in the ensuing week, after which he will be able to accommodate the Messenger man with clean linen, and another banquet.

Mr. Conway the Secretary, is preparing for the Hibernian Press Company, the Life and Memoirs of the unfortunate Mr. Parker the snuff-man, late of Skinner-Row. This work is written in real duplicate language, and is dedicated to St. Andrew, the patron Saint of parish Pawnbrokers.

On the 17th of last month, when Lord Wellington's accounts of his own affairs in Portugal arived in Dublin, the Major and his party evinced the greatest demonstrations of joy. The prostrate bells of St. Werburgh's, were hung on triangles, in the Riding

House manner, and made to tell to the

reputation of the conquering House of Wellesley.

The evening of joy, was celebrated in extorted Whiskey by JUG-SMELLER, BIBLEMOUTH, FIRE. THATCH, and BANG-BEGGAR. The toasts, were numerous, loyal, and religious; the Saviours of the country were drank with enthusiasm; the Major was taken in a full

bumper, in a silver cup, formerly Tom Braughall's; the Lord of Duoro, was remembered in the same taste and fulness of affection; Jemmy O'Brien, was immortalized in a cup, made of Ledwich's scull set in silver; Mr. Cope and Tom Reynolds, were honored in their turns, by deep draughts, taken from a glazed pocket of Oliver Bond's coat, cut from his body by Tom Galvin; the night concluded with a classic jingling of arms, and a song in praise of the Union. Secretary Conway, was expected, but accounted for his absence in an elegant epistle, as he was engaged at the Major's table; this kind acknowledgement, gave existence to an appendix of gratitude and fraternal feeling; BIBLEMOUTH gave the health of Mr. Conway, and the Charter Schools of Ireland; FIRETHATCH gave the health of Mr. Martin of Connemara; JUGSMELLER the memory of the late Judkin Fitzgerald, the taw, the knife, and the Gospels, after which the company adjourned to the command of their respective squads. of inspection and vigilance.

Letters have been received by a respectable Commercial House from Oporto, stating, on the best authority, that the FIVE saddles, mentioned by Lord Wellington as missing, in his dispatch of the 28th of September, have been discovered in a valley near the scene of action, and that one of the four

horses his Lordship puts in the list of the killed, was a grey horse; this contradicts an assertion of the Major's, that described the deceased animals as dark Bays.

Immediately on the arrival of ac counts of the reported victory gained by Lord Wellington, the Major, with his accustomed zeal, dispatched manuscript bulletins to such of his Cor poration cronies as were in town with

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his Majorship will rescind his hasty though generous determination.MOUTHY BERGAN, Esq. waited on the Major yesterday, with an address breathing the highest praises and the most lively attachment on the part of the addressers for the many services done them, by the illustrious Cygnus Majora and the noble Lord his friend.

By a letter received from our Correspondent in Galway, we have been informed the KITE partnership, be tween Monsieur Killery and Secretary Catspaw the Messenger man, is dissolved by mutual agreement; and orders have been sent up to town, to burn all the Paper not issued at present in Peg Plunket's Coal Hole, alias the Freehold.

The Major is to preach a Charity Sermon on Sunday next, for the support of the children of the Dublin Dagger Society, Subscriptions for the same benevolent and loyal purpose, will be received by the following Preachers: Mr. Gallagher the pully maker, Mr. Kent the baconer, Mr. Latouche, Mr. Gribbins the old clothes man in Barrack-street, and Drum-Major Biblemouth at the Office of Inspection.

Sir Edward Stanley, a Merchant according to Corporation Law, is we understand determined to embark in a very extensive line of business, and Alderman Archer, another Merchant by the same high authority is to compose part of the firm. We are assured the trade of Ireland under the great spirit of the two gentlemen, will form a very conspicuous feature in the commercial character of modern times, they intend to build two great vessels, to bring Bellingham Ale, potatoes, and Munster apples to Dublin, wind and weather permitting, during the season of brewing and baking, God willing, once in each month, for the benefit of all persons concerned.

Irish

Irish genius was never more distinguished than in the person of a gentleman, now in Botany Bay, his name is Austin, an engraver by trade, formerly of Castle-street in Dublin, he travelled a few years ago, when Alderman Archer was High Sheriff to New South Wales, by the advice of twelve shopkeepers, and at the instigation of the Bank of Ireland. Mr. Austin has invented an extraordinary and ingenious RAT TRAP at Sidney Cove, which has had the approbation and patronage of the Governor, and by him is recommended to the Society of Arts in England. This trap is not stationary, it has the property of following the Rats, until it snares them, and is considered of such importance, by its effect, that a model of it, is now in possession of the MAJOR, Mr. Austin proposes to come to Dublin to explain its superior efficacy to any other Rat Trap, which we hope will be quickly done, as Mr. Austin has his two brothers-in-law at present in high official authority, and possessed of great consideration in

Dublin.

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tial and loyal prove to the world the absurdity of trusting our properties out of our sight, a merchant vessel will always be safe from the contending elements while on a rural voyage to Athy, but God only knows the event if we ventured to Hindostan, a safe trade, (as Sir Anthony King Knight and Alderman, said when he navigated the Poddle) is the best trade.

Our Civic Orators have decreed ano, ther Jubilee, by which they calculate a very profuse distribution of nick names. While the people of Dublin are perishing with want, and their miseries aggravated with the Tax Gatherer, they are to pay the expences of drunken revelry and sordid ambition; other balls and masquerades are to produce more murders and impose other cxpenditures. The mercenary and the magistrate are again to assist each other, that vulgar ladies and bankrupt gentlemen may squander the wages of their servitude, while the public who pay the expences are to be intimidated to keep within their re spective dwellings.

The people of Dublin are in fu ture to be distinguished into two descripstions, the Knights and the Mob. There will be no female among our Orange friends, either to measure a dram, to bottle spruce, or to guage a garter, under the rank of my Lady, nor a stupid Alderman under the dig. nignity of a Knight or a Baronet.

Lettershave been dispatched to Major Sandy's at Lucan inviting him to take a title and a dinner at the Jubilee feast, the Major received the invitation while busily engaged on the value and properties of a bullocks kidney, with hiş adversary the mutton man, the happy intelligence gave him such flattering encouragement, that he added a few tripes to his bargain and adjourned to the cheerful banquet, to repair his strength and his shoes, preparatory to his journey to Dublin.

ERIN