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originally the captain of a ship, who had so highly distinguished himself by his gallantry in several actions with the Spaniards, that on being introduce ed to the queen, she told him he should have the first vacancy that offered.
The honest captain, who understood the queen literally, soon after bearing of a vacancy in the see of Cork, immediately set out for court, and claimed the royal promise. The queen, astonished at the request, for a time remonstrated against its impropriety, declaring it was what she never could think of as an office suitable for him. Her objections were, however, in vain. He urged that the royal word was passed, and that he relied on its fulfilment. Her majesty then said she would take a few days to consider of the matter. ing into his character, and finding him a sober, moral man, as well as an intrepid commander, she sent for Lyons, and gave him the bishopric, saying,
-“ She hoped he would take as good care of the church as he had done of the state."
Lyons accordingly repaired to his see, which he enjoyed above twenty years with great reputation; but never attempted to preach except once, and that was on the death of the queen. On that occasion, he thought it his duty to pay a tribute of respect to his royal mistress. He accordingly mounted the pulpit of Christ Church, in the city of Cork, where, after delivering a good discourse on the uncertainty of life, and the great and amiable qualities of the queen, he concluded in the following energetic, but whimsical manner :
“Let those who feel this loss deplore with me
on this melancholy occasion, but if there be any that hear me who secretly wished for this event, as perhaps there may be, they have now got their wish, and the devil do them good with it.”
Anecdotes of Illustrious Characters.
London Newspapers.—THERE are, at a medium, published in London every morning 16,000 newspapers, and every evening about 14,000. Of those published every other day, there are about 10,000. The Sunday newspapers amount to about 25,000; and there are nearly 20,000 other weekly papers, making in all the enormous sum of 245,000 per week. At a medium, twenty newspapers are equal to one pound. Hence the whole amounts to about 5 tons per week, or 260 tons per annum.
European Mag. Sept. 1808.
Advertisement Extraordinary.—WHEREAS divers epigrams, jokes, and witticisms, of great value, have been stolen from the SATIRIST; this is to give notice, that all those editors of newspapers and other offenders, who have been concerned in such depredations, shall receive our most gracious pardon, provided they acknowledge their offences, and on all future occasions prefix the following words to every article which they may think worthy of transplanting into their respective journals “ From the Satirist of this month.”
To those who have cruelly mutilated and disfigured our property, to make it pass for their own, our gracious forgiveness cannot extend.
Satirist Office, Sept. 25.
Availing ourselves of the liberality of the editors, we select the following precepts, drawn up by the celebrated lady Wildfire, for the regulation of my wife's conduct.
“ The principal use of a husband to a woman of spirit, is to enable her to pursue her pleasures unmolested by scandal. A fashionable 'husband of generous sentiments is merely a convenient automaton, subservient to the impulses of that prime mover-his wife. He is only a superior kind of secretary-a purse-bearer, accountable for the debts of his consort, but equally unauthorised to investigate her conduct or her bills. His proper province is the turf, the cockpit, or the regulation of the laws of pugilism. He may frequent the theatre, the tavern, the gaming-table, the-in short, any place but a church: he must not, however, be troublesome or intrusive at home. There his interference is not only inexpedient but impertinent; for it is the peculiar privilege of a woman of spirit to rule the house and all that it contains."
That my wife has protited by the advice of her fashionable minerva is but too evident.
HENRY WHIMSEY, Bath, Sept. 1808.
Evangelical text.--Some little time back, when the ladies wore higher ornaments on the head than at present, the “ Sinner saved” took occasion to preach on the ungodliness of that fashion, and delivered his text as follows. In the twenty-fourth chapter of St. Matthew, and seventeenth verse, are these words—" Top-knot come down!” He then
proceeded, after the pious manner of the methodists, to prove that this was an interdiction of God against high head-dresses or “top-knots." A clergyman, whom curiosity induced to be present, was completely puzzled by this text; and when he returned home instantly examined the chapter and
erse from whence it was taken, where he found it thus written: “ Let him which is on the house-top not come
down-to take any thing out of his
house." What an admirable expounder of the gospel!!
From the Satirist of October, 1808.
GARRICK once gave a dinner at his lodgings to Harry Fielding, Maclin, Havard, Mrs Cibber, &c. &c.; and vails to servants being then much the fashion, Maclin, and most of the company, gave Garrick's man (David, a Welshman) something at parting-some a shilling, some half a crown, &c. whilst Fielding very formally, slipped a piece of paper in his hand, with something folded in the inside. When the company were all gone, David seeming to be in high glee, Garrick asked him how much he had got.
« I can't tell you as yet, Sir," said Davy: “ here is half a crown from Mrs Cibber, Got pless hur-here is a shilling from Mr Maclin-here is two from Mr Havard, &c.—and here is something more from the poet, Got pless his merry heart.
heart.” By this time David had unfolded the paper, when, to his great astonishment, he saw it contain no more than one penny! Garrick
felt nettled at this, and next day spoke to Fielding about the impropriety of jesting with a servant.
Jesting !” said Fielding, with a seeming surprise:
so far from it, that I meant to do the fellow a real piece of service'; for had I given him a shilling, or half a crown, I knew you would have taken it from him ; but by giving him only a penny, he had a chance of calling it his own."
Scale of Literary Merit.-We are told of a learned gentleman who, in his anxiety to be esteemed a Moecenas of literature, made it a practice to entertain all the writers of the day at his table, which mode of patronage was not unpleasant to the objects of it. In order however to prevent all unpleasantness the patron judged it proper to arrange his guests according to etiquette; he therefore gave the highest place to those who had written a folio, after these came the quarto authors, the octavo, &c. This may be the reason why some authors are so anxious to sport their quartos and broad margins, when twelves or eighteens would contain all they produce worth reading. Omniana.
The windows of the apartments of that eccentric character, Dr Monsey, who was for half a century physician to Chelsea hospital, looked into the college court and walks. When he had arrived at a very advanced age, many members of the faculty, who thought this situation extremely desirable, and the doctor literally an incumbent, most naturally looked forward to the termination of his existence;