The Magician then tranfported him to another houfe, where Belcaur had just been prefented to a moft brilliant affembly, confifting of the beaux efprits, and the most accomplished women of the country. Scarce was Belceur seated, when he engroffed the whole converfation, to difplay his knowledge, to fhew his wit, and to talk of his adventures; as if there was no merit in the world but his own, or that the merit of others confifted in difcerning the homage due to him. At first, every one eagerly liftened to him, and gave him all the equivocal figns of applaufe-fuch as complacent imiles, which are often be ftowed, without having understood what is commended-a word of no confequence, repeated after the perpetual talker, as if that word was an oracle. A look directed to the perfon in company, who is allowed to have the beft judgment, as if to make him fhare in our admiration of what we have just heard.-Belcaur difregarded these tokens of diffatisfaction, and increased in his good opinion of himself, and his fon inefs for talking. At length, to convince him of his error, when he was romancing at large, the company began to admire the extent and fidelity of his memory.-If he was pedantic, they extolled his erudition, if he made bad jefts, or repeated hackneyed ftories, he was commended for his fine invention and modifh converfation, in fine, they loaded him with the most unmerited applaufe. But for a time, this had not the defired effect, for his vanity made him imagine they were fincere, but finally, perceiving a manifeft abfurdity in their flattery, he conftrued it into want of tafte, and thanked them for their good intention; he even went fo far as to reprove them, when he thought they were mistaken, and undertook to teach them how to commend with judgment. The affembly enjoyed the fecret pleasure of feeing the pride and arrogance of Belcour carried to fuch a length, but this was not fufficient, it was neceffary to make him feel his fituation. Immediately every one prefent, changed their con- · duct with respect to him. As foon as he began to relate an adventure-à-propos, interrupted a gentleman, now you mention ftrange circumstances, I had a very extraordinary dream laft night-the company were all attention to the Dreamer, and Belcœur was filenced. Impatient at the first oppofition, he was distracted at the fecond, for on his attempt to recite verses of his own compofition, a rival poet started up and entertained the company with a new fong. In fhort, he foon found himself furrounded with men of different talents, who were received with applause by thofe whom his monopolizing genius had displeased,-no longer able to remain in a place, where his merit was unobferved, he rudely withdrew and repaired to the Magician, enraged at the little regard paid in the Ifland to fuch an exalted genius. The Sage coolly opened the book in which he had infcribed his character, and reads to him these words : "BELCOEUR, AS HE WRITES HIMSELF HE LOVES TO PLEASE." Belcour's real character,—"HE ONLY WANTS TO SHINE." Struck dumb with this rebuke, he embarked the next day, for his native city, and has had the modefty not to appear as a critic at the theatres, a politician in the coffee-hoofes, nor an orator at difputing clubs. Our Magician now wanted only the Idler to close the scene of human vanity, and he foon enjoyed that fupreme fatisfaction. As the unwieldy boar was paffing across a public fquare, a crowd of people in grotesque characters, furrounded him, and perfuaded him to afcend a triumphal car. Your merit, faid they, is univerfally known, you are worthy the honours of a triumph.They conducted him in this manner to a kind of temple where a great concourse of citizens expected his arrival,-He presented himself to this affembly with a firm refolution to be more fingular than ever. A referved air, falfe tenets, refpecting their Reflections on Titles, Pre-eminence, and Ceremonies. their politics* vague propofitions, abufe of good citizens, the fubjects of general admiration; in fhort, every tratagem to excite adoration of his fingularity from the vulgar, and from dependent literati, the puffers of his great merit, was made ufe of, but in vain, he is not minded, and he has the mortification to fee that his fellowcitizens think him only, a common, plain, four, morofe fellow; and obferving his confufion, they continued mortifying him to excefs; for every extraordinary maxim he advanced to fhew his profound erudition, they received as a vulgar fentiment, with which they were familiarly acquainted, before he came among them. He then ftruck out to the marvellous, told ftories, exaggerated and tried every means to aftonith, or perplex, but all in vain, for as foon as the crowd began to be attentive, fome young upftart began an harrangue, and fupported the moft abfurd, extravagant opinions imaginable, till the Idler at length found himself reduced to the neceflity of becoming rational.Į While he was mufing on the ftrange See the falfe alarm-and Falklands Inlands. 13 tions which fave people the trouble of exercising their genius upon common objects, you ought therefore to conform to them. How would you like to have our government force you to walk, to laugh, to converfe, to hold your fhoulders, and turn your head differently from the reft of your fpecies. Yet fuch is the fingular turn of our people, that to be well with them, you must be as abfurd as they are. You will fee here a number of fcenes which will furprise you, but none to please you. I endeavour to fuit the humour of my countrymen: I pafs whole days in my chimney corner, and give way to dotage in my family. At noon, I fometimes take a walk in the heat of the fun, as a fpectacle to others, and if I vouchfafe to enter into converfation, I treat all the prefent race of mortals, except a few of my idolifers, as vile drots, and always talk of the virtues of ancient times. This difcourfe ended, several other citizens addreffed him, and perfecuted him with their fingular fentiments, odd geftures, and infolent behaviour. The Idler at laft, lofing all patience flew to the Magician- let me depart your Ifland faid he-for your subjects affect fingularity-and in fact, are only felf-fufficient, proud extravagantly abfurd puppies.You draw your own picture and theirs, replied the Enchanter: instead of telling me "You were fingular," why did you not tell me truly, that you were dying with envy to appear fo. Return with your companions, and remember that the beft fchool for pretenders to what they really are not-is to place them in focieties compofed of perfons who exactly refemble them, for by this method they will fee, as in a mirror, their own deformity, and how infupportable their conduct is to rational men. Reflections on TITLES, PRE-EMINENCE, and CEREMONIES. Written by a Gentleman foon after the late Inftallation. A LL this retinue of vanity, this pomp of pride, would be ufelefs and abfurd in a state of fimple, virtu ous nature; but in the prefent corrupt ftate of what we call civil focieties, they are confiderable objects, and form the 34 Reflections on Tilles, Pre-eminence, and Ceremonies. the greatest part of the bustle and bufinefs of great men. But let me remark, without giving offence, that titles of distinction, preeminence, and ceremonies, both religious and civil, have generally denoted the enslaved condition of the mafs of the people where they have moft prevailed. The more free the conftitution of any country, the lefs we fee of pageant titles and ceremonies, and confequently Jefs of that demonftration of the inferiority of various claffes of men in the prefence of their fuperiors in rank. Scipio was called plain Scipio, and Cafar, Cafar; but in procefs of time generals like them were ftiled Emperors, Your Majeffy, and even Your Divinity. -The titles of St. Peter and St. Paul were no other than fimple Peter and Paul. Their fucceffors reciprocally filed each other Your Holiness; which title is not to be found either in the acts of the Apoftles, or in the writings of their disciples. We read in the hiftory of Germany, that the Dauphin of France, afterwards Charles V. when he went to meet the Emperor Charles IV. at Metz, walked after Cardinal Perigord. There was afterwards a time when the Chancellor took precedence of the Cardinals, after which the Cardinals carried again over the Chancellors. The arm-chair, the ftool, the right hand and the left have for feveral ages been important politicals objects, and not. able fubjects for ruptures between kingdoms. I imagine the etiquette concerning arm-chairs arofe from our unpolished ancestors having but one in cach houfe; and even this was gene rally for the ufe of the fick. In England, and in fome provinces of Germany, they are ftill called Eafy Chairs, In after times, when luxury was in; troduced into courts and capital cities, the great princes and lords of the land had two or three arm-chairs in the dungeons they called palaces; and it was a mark of very great diftinction to be feated in one of thefe thrones; for the ideas of ease and human dignity are conftantly affimilated, and a provincial lord of the manor used to make a formal record in his castle, that having been to pay a visit to a Count half a league from his own inanor, he had been received in an arm-chair. When Cardinal Richlieu was nego. ciating the treaty of marriage between Charles I. of England, and Hearietta of France, with the English Ambaffadors, the affair was on the point of being broke off, on account of two or three paces more of precedence claimed by the Ambaffadors near a certain door, which the Cardinal would not grant, and to put an end to the difficulty he received them in bed. If it had been propofed to Scipio to strip himfelf naked, and lie down between a pair of theets to receive the vifit of Hannibal, he would certainly have thought the propofer a madman. The proceffion of coaches, and what is called the upper-hand in the streets, have been fruitful fources of difputes, of quarrels and battles for a whole century. It hath been looked upon as a signal victory to make one coach pafs another; and once, when a Spanish Minifter had made the Portuguese Minifter's coachman fall in behind his equipage, he dispatched a courier to Madrid to notify this great advantage to the King his master. In proportion as courts are weak or uncivilized, ceremonial is in voguetrue power, and true politenefs, dif dain fuch vanity. It is to be hoped that in time the ridiculous custom will be exploded of making Ambaffadors exhibit a long proceffion through the treets of old hired state-coaches mend, ed up, and new gilt, preceded by troops of valets and pages how ab furd to make an entry into a city, after having appeared in it at all public pla ces upwards of eight months before! All fenfible men naturally defpife every ridiculous punctilio, and as for the inhabitants of free ftates, they ought to discountenance them, as being the badges of fubjection and slavery. A French Colonel being at Bruffels the year after that city had been taken by Marthal Saxe, and not knowing how to pafs his time, propofed to go to an affembly in that city. But a friend obferved to him, that it was held at the hotel of a Princefs-Be it fo, replied the Colonel, what is that to me None To a certain young Lady. None but Princes go there, answered his friend; are you a Prince? No matter, cried the Colonel, they are very good Princes, I had a dozen of them in my anti-chamber, laft year when we took the place, and I will be anfwerable for their politenefs to me. Another old officer, who knew very little of the protocole of vanity, wrote to the French Minifter, the Marquis de Louvois, and ftiled him Sir, but having no answer, he wrote again, addreffing him by the title of My Lord, yet still no reply, for the plain Sir of the first letter was not forgot. At length he fuperfcribed a letter, A mon Dieu, mon Dieu Louvois-To my God, my God Louvois, and began his letter Mon Dieu, mon Createur, which procured an answer from his fublimity. How do you do, my dear friend, faid a Duke and Peer one day to a private gentleman-Very well, at your fervice, my dear friend, answered the other and from that moment he had his dear friend, my Lord Duke, for his moft implacable enemy. and I are not upon a footing of equality. The vanity of titles was not introduced into the northern countries till the Romans became acquainted with the Afiatic fublimity. Most of the fovereigns of Afia always were, and ftill continue to be coufin-germans to the fun and moon; their subjects dare not pretend to this alliance. A governor of a prince who ftiles himselfMusk of Confolations and Rofe of Pleafure, would be impaled, if he was to claim the most distant relationship to the fun or the moon. But we sometimes give ourselves very humble titles, while we expect the moit honourable from those who address us. The Pope ftiles himself the Servant of the Servants of God.-A priest of Holftein wrote to Pope Pius IV. and directed his letter to Pius IV. Servant of the Servants of God; and he went to Rome foon after to execute the business on which he had wrote, when the inquifition put him in prifon to learn him to write. To conclude this portrait of human A Portuguese nobleman converfing vanity, let us remember never to enwith a grandee of Spain, at almost courage it, unlefs when exalted virtue every word ftiled him Your Excellency. and merit condefcend to receive from The Caftilian replied by calling him the hands of difcerning princes the fe Your Courtesy, Vofira Merceda ftile external marks of pre-eminence; but ufed in Spain to thofe who actually when fools, pimps, gamefters, and behave no titles. At length the Portu- trayers of the rights and privileges of guefe being piqued in his turn, called their countrymen, are invefted with the Spaniard Your Courtesy, who then titles or ribbons, let us confider them freely returned Your Excellency to the only as fo many menial fervants decked Portuguefe. The latter being now out in the King's beft liveries, to be more perplexed than ever, gravely tared at and admired by Fulgar fouls, afked the Spaniard why he ftiled him who do not know that one ounce of Your Excellency, when he had only call-Cato's virtue will outweigh the ermined ed him Your Courtesy, and vice verfa? to which the haughty Spanish Don made this infolent reply:-Becaufe all titles are alike to me, provided you robe, or the fplendid coronet." An honeft man's the nobleft work of God;" and the best Privy-Counsellor for Princes. MAGAZINE. To a certain young LADY. You afk, Leonora, my fentiments on marriage, and defire me to tell you the qualities and accomplishments requifite in a Lady of fathion ? The task you impofe is no lefs difficult than difagreeable; however, as your will is a law with me, I will venture to deliver my opinion. The first of the queftions you propofe may be answered in few words, for all the wifeft men agree, that the marriage ftate may be made, either extremely happy, or ex tremely 16 To a certain young Lady. tremely miferable. Your fecond quel tion requires, I fear, a more copious anfwer than I am able to give. As example hath been ever found the best monitor, because it makes the greatest impreflion on our minds, I will difplay to your view the education of a cert in amiable lady, remarked in the polite circle, for conjugal fide lity, filial piety, and maternal tendernefs. In few words I mean to fet before you the perfon of Maria; which, though beautiful beyond expreffion, is yet more worthy of admiration for the many good qualities which adorn it. Maria is a young lady juft turned of two-and-twenty, and defcended from an honourable ancestry. From an early infancy till her eighteenth year, the was inftructed by the best malers in Mutic, French, and Italian. In short, whatever polite accomplishments money could procure, her worthy father bestowed upon her. but when he wifhed to make her the accomplishd lady, he took pains to make her the ufeful housewife. Though he give her thirty thousand pounds on the day of marriage, he instilled into her mind early fentiments of humility, which taught her not to defpife infpecting the concerns of her family. Public amufements were permitted her in moderation; but excefs of all kinds was dif carded. Maria was courted at her nineteenth year by men of the highest rank and the largest fortunes: but the had fenfe enough to diftinguish between the man of worth and the vain coxcomb; he had the virtue to prefer humble happinefs to ftately mifery. Among the youths who paid their addreffes to her, was Oreftes, a gentleman of a liberal education, iiberal principles, and a middling fortune. His addreffes were approved of, and Maria in a thort time became his wife. Since her marriage the hath affumed the office of a miftrefs, and houfekteper. Oreftes and his Lady generally spend the winter in London, where they visit and are vifited by the choiceft of their acquaintances. She makes her appearance fometimes at a play or an opera, because these are rational entertainments; but modeity will not permit her to go to more than one malquerade in a winter; and even then he is attended by her hufband. I need not tell you the effect of this prudent conduct; you know how the polite world refpect her, and how amiable the appears in the eyes of her parents. The manners of this lady are fuch as perfons of her rank fhould be bleffed with; her's is the education which I would recommend. I am, dear Madam, your's Jan. 23, 1772. T. B. To the EDITOR of the OXFORD MAGAZINE. (With a Copper-flate of the Antiquarian annexed.) SIR. HE Antiquarian, though his reutility to the public, in general amufes himself about the most ridiculous trifies that can be imagined. Of what confequence is it to the public whether the chamber-utenfil of Cleopatre was filver, iron, brass stone, or clay? You will perhaps fay, that to a perfon who has aviolent thirst after curiofities, it may afford a kind of rapturous amulement; but, I confess, I cannot find any degree of pleasure, in the study of any thing that may not turn out bentácial to mankind, or tend to my own la provement. Thofe perfons who preiend to understand the works of Antiquity are the greateft dupes upon earth, one inftance of which I fhall ended vour to produce. The late Earl of Pemthought himself a great connoilleur in antiques, but after his death there were found, as the bottom of one of his ponds, a great number of statues which he purchased as antiques, and which he afterwards found were fabricated by moderns, buried in the cart, and afterwards dug up as if by accident. I know a perfon that is now employed in that way, and furnishes statues, made with his own hands, that he can prove were dug out of the ruins of Hercaneum, and have been buried there fome hundred years. I am, Sir, Your most humble fervant, T. B. The |