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Sir Cha. Well-well-she is yours.

Olla. My dear Sir Charles! such sport next shooting season! If I had but a double-barrelled gun !

Sir Cha. Take mine, that hangs in the hall.

Olla. My dear Sir Charles! Here's a morning's work! senna and coloquintida—

Sir Cha. Well, be gone then.

[Aside.

[Pushing him. Olla. I'm off. Scammony and gambouge

Sir Cha. Nay, fly man!

Olla. I do, Sir Charles. A double-barrelled gun-I fly -the bark-I'm going -- Juno, the bitch -a narcotic— Sir Cha. O! the deuce.

[Pushing him off.

COLMAN.

THE REVIEW.

DEPUTY BULL. Enter THOMAS.

Thomas. Here's a man, sir, come after the footman's place.

Bull. I hope he is civiller than the last fellow. Does he look modest?

Thomas. Oh yes, sir, he's an Irishman.

Bull. Well, we are used to them in the Bull family. Let me see him. [Exit THOMAS]. I hope I shall be able to keep a servant at last. They are all so confounded saucy to me, because I have been a grocer.

Enter LOONEY MACTWOlter.

So, you want a place.

Loo. You may say that, with your own ugly mouth.
Bull. My ugly mouth!

before?

Loo. Does a duck swim?

You have been in service

Bull. Who have you lived with ?

Loo. I lived with the Mactwolters nineteen years, and then they turned me off.

Bull. The Mactwolters! Why did they turn you off? Loo. They went dead.

Bull. That's an awkward way of discharging a servant. ho were they?

Loo. My own beautiful father, and most beautiful mother. They died of a whiskey fever, and left myself, Looney Mactwolter, heir to their estate.

Bull. They had an estate it seems.

Loo. Yes; they had a pig.

Bull. Umph! But they died, you say, when you were nineteen. What have you been doing ever since?

Loo. I'm a physicianer.

Bull. The deuce you are.

Loo. Yes; I'm a cow-doctor.

Bull. And what brought you here?

Loo. Hay-making. I've a fork below, hire me, then I'll have a knife to it, and prettily I'll toss about your beef, Mr. Bull.

Bull. I don't doubt you. This fellow would ram a cart load of chuck-steaks down his throat with a paving-rod. What can you do as a footman ? Can you clean plate ?

Loo. Clean a plate! Botheration, man! would you hire me for your kitchen maid? I can dirty one with anybody in the parish.

Bull. Do you think now, Looney, you could contrive to beat a coat?

Loo. Faith can I, in the Connaught fashion.

Bull. How's that?

Loo. With a man in it. Och!

dusting your ould jacket, Mr. Bull. Bull. The deuce take you, I say!

Let me alone for

Loo. Be aisy, and I'll warrant we'll agree. Give me what I ax, and we'll never tumble out about the wages.

Re-enter THOMAS.

Thomas. Here's another man come after the place, I believe, sir.

Bull. Another man! Let me see him.

[Exit THOMAS.

Loo. Faith, now, you'll bother yourself betwixt us. You'll be like a cat in a tripe-shop, and not know where to choose.

T

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Lump. Oh! if you are na' but the deputy, I'll bide here till I see Mr. Bull himsen.

Bull. Blockhead! I am himself—Mr. Deputy Bull. Loo. Arrah! can't you see, man, that this ugly ould gentleman is himself?

Bull. Hold your tongue. What's your name?
Lump. John.

Bull. John what?

Lump. No; no not John What, but John Lump.
Bull. And what do you want, John Lump.

Lump. Why, I'se come here, zur-but as we be upon a bit o' business, I'll let you hear the long and short on't [Drawing a chair and sitting down]. I'se comed here, zur, to hire mysen for your sarvant.

Bull. Ah! but you don't expect, I perceive, to have any standing wages.

Loo. [Drawing a chair and sitting down]. Ar'nt you a pretty spalpeen, now, to squat yourself down there in the presence of Mr. Deputy Bull?

Bull. Now here's a couple of scoundrels!
Loo. Don't be in a passion with him.

larn him politeness.

Bull. Get up directly, you villain, or—

Mind how I'll

Loo. [Complimenting] Not before Mr. Lump. See how I'll give him the polish.

Bull. If you don't get up directly I'll squeeze your heads together like two figs in a jar.

Lump. [Rising] Oh, then, it be unmannerly for a footman to rest himsen, I suppose !

Loo. [Rising] To be sure it is; no servant has the bad manners to sit before his master, but the coachman.

Lump. I ax your pardon, zur; I'se na' but a poor Yorkshire lad, travelled up from Doncaster Races; I'se simple, but I'se willing to learn.

Bull. Simple and willing to learn? Two qualities, Master Lump, which will answer my purpose.

[LUMP retires.

Loo Mind what you 're after going to do, Mr. Deputy Bull. If you hire this fellow from the Donkey Races, when Looney Mactwolter is at your elbow, I'll make free to say, you're making a complete Judy of yourself.

Bull. You do make free with a vengeance. Now I'll make free to say, get out of my house you impudent cowdoctor!

Loo. You're no scholard, or you'd larn how to bemean yourself to a physicianer. Arrah! Isn't a cow-doctor as good as you, you ould figman.

Bull. Old figman! This rascal, too, quizzing my origin. Get down stairs, or

Loo. Don't come over me with the pride of your staircase, for hadn't my father a comfortable ladder to go up and down stairs with? Take Mr. Lump into your dirty sarvice, and next time I'm after meeting him I'll thump Mr. Lump, or Mr. Lump shall thump Mr. Looney Mactwolter.

COLMAN.

THE RIVALS.

First Selection.

CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE and FAG.

Fag. Sir, there is a gentleman below desires to see you.
-Shall I show him into the parlour?

Abs. Ay-you may. But stay; who is it, Fag?
Fag. Your father, sir.

Abs. You puppy, why didn't you show him up directly? [Exit FAG.] Now for a parental lecture. I hope he has heard nothing of the business that has brought me here—

Enter SIR ANTHONY ABSOLUTE.

Sir, I am delighted to see you here, looking so well! Your sudden arrival at Bath made me apprehensive for your health.

Sir Anth. Very apprehensive, I dare say, Jack.-What, you are recruiting here, eh?

Abs. Yes, sir, I am on duty.

Sir Anth. Well, Jack, I am glad to see you, though I did not expect it; for I was going to write to you on a little matter of business.-Jack, I have been considering that I grow old and infirm, and shall probably not trouble you long.

Abs. Pardon me, sir, I never saw you look more strong and hearty; and I pray frequently that you may continue so. Sir Anth. I hope your prayers may be heard, with all my heart. Well, then, Jack, I have been considering that I am so strong and hearty, I may continue to plague you a long time. Now, Jack, I am sensible that the income of your commission, and what I have hitherto allowed you, is but a small pittance for a lad of your spirit.

Abs. Sir, you are very good.

Sir Anth. And it is my wish, while yet I live, to have my boy make some figure in the world. I have resolved, therefore, to fix you at once in a noble independence.

Abs. Sir, your kindness overpowers me;—I cannot express the sense I have of your munificence.—Yet, sir, I presume you would not wish me to quit the army ?

Sir Anth. O that shall be as your wife chooses.

Abs. My wife, sir!

Sir Anth. Ay, ay, settle that between you-settle that between you.

Abs. A wife, sir, did you say ?

Sir Anth. Ay, a wife-why, did not I mention her before? Abs. Not a word of her, sir.

Sir Anth. Odd so!-I must'nt forget her, though.— Yes, Jack, the independence I was talking of is by a marriage the fortune is saddled with a wife-but I suppose that makes no difference.

Abs. Sir! sir!-you amaze me!

Sir Anth. Why, what's the matter with the fool? Just now you were all gratitude and duty.

Abs. I was, sir,—you talked to me of independence and a fortune, but not a word of a wife.

Sir Anth. Why, what difference does that make? Odds life, sir! if you have the estate, you must take it with the live stock on it, as it stands.

Abs. Pray, sir, who is the lady?

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