the fire was more cheerful. The buftle of the town made her reftlefs; I fold my house in the town and purchased a feat in the country, and then she feared she should die for want of company. Thomas was turned away because he was too impudent, and then fhe wifhed that he had not parted with him, as he was fo humble and fubmiffive. If a mouse runs across the floor fhe falls into fits, and the clash of a door throws her into violent agonies.

A great part of my income is confumed in paying the phyfician and apothecary, who are almoft become inmates of my family. Every hour brings along with it leniments, electuaries, pills, and cordials. She has purchased of the charitable Dr. Solomon fifty bottles of the balm of gilead. One of my fervants is employed in giving her medicines, and I am disturbed four times in the night by her nurfe informing her that it is time to take an electuary. I am obliged to humour her in every thing, as Dr. Daf fodil informs me that it is dangerous to oppose her wishes. As fhe, therefore, knows that I dare not refuse her requefts, fhe fometimes defires a pair of ear-rings, and sometimes takes a fancy to a newfashioned head-drefs. But that I may be able to fhew you more minutely the nature of her complaints, I shall give you an extract from her memorandum book, which I have found by accident.

Monday.-Rofe at one o'clock.-The weather very cold.—Cold weather is very injurious to health.-I wonder why Mr. Z. always allows the curtain to be drawn fo foon; it is infufferable; I must speak to him about it.

Mem.

Mem.-Lady Faddle has to call upon me at five to play a game at quadrille.-Her brother, a very pretty fellow; hope to fee him.-Four o'clock.-Weather very hot.— Wonder that Mr. Z. does not get clofer blinds; my talking has no effect upon him; must tell him that the fun will hurt my health.-Eight o'clock.-Loft at Q. 100 guineas. Must not tell Mr. Z.-Deduct it from my apo. thecary's bill.-Very fleepy. I wonder that Mr. Z. can never go to bed fooner.

Tuesday. Was forced to go to bed at four.Dr. Daf. fodil fent me fome horrid drops. Mem.-To tell him to fend them more pleafant; dear Dr. Solomon's medicine is far more palatable. Mem-To fend for a 12 guinea cafe. -Weather very fine.-Wonder that Mr. Z. never takes a jaunt in the carriage.-Three o'clock-Very much fatigued with the jolting of the carriage.-Wonder that Mr. Z. could with me to venture into the air.-Sent Mary for a cordial to Daffodil.-Very bitter; did not take it ; bitters do no good. Mem.-To tell him to fend a cordial of cinnamon or mint.-Six o'clock.-Received the apothecary's bill, 200 guineas; must give him 100, and pay Lady F. with the other.-Hope my husband will not think the fum too large. Mem.-Sir J. Faddle at Lady R's rout for a partner.

Wednesday.

The dear polite man complimented me on my complexion. Mem.-To go to-night to Lady Faddle's rout. I am very much furprised that Mr. Z. fhould not turn away Thomas, he looks fo dull-The

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weather is very ftormy; muft not, however, forget Lady Faddle's rout. Mem. To have my tea medicated with Brodum's cordial as a very good restorative.-Must inform Dr. Daffodil that I am much surprized at his negli gence. Have not received above three cordials to-day. Muft difcharge the 100 guineas.

You will, fir, imagine, after this defcription, that my wife is a pale emaciated woman, whose limbs are enfee-. bled by disease, and whose life is preferved by medical affiftance. But, on the contrary, fir, she is in appearance the fame blooming, healthful Emily whom I married. She is as lively as any of her companions at the card. table, and can fupport, with great vivacity, a converfa tion which introduces the failings of her neighbours. She is the most admired dancer at an affembly, and in the company of a gallant fhe can render her converfation enchanting. When any of her female friends make their appearance she can forget all her maladies, and meet them with the utmost good humour. She can chide the fervants without the leaft injury to her frame; and I my felf have fometimes wifhed that the activity of her tongue was fucceeded by fatigue.

Now, fir, as the prescriptions of Dr. Daffodil have no effect upon the difpofition of my wife, and as my present fituation is infupportable, I have applied to you as to a a physician of the mind, in which her malady principally exifts. In the character of a Saunterer, many in fimilar fituations may have occurred to you; and if, by your ad

vice or affistance, my domestic happiness may be secured, you need not doubt of the gratitude of

Yours, &c.

FENELON ZANTHON.

In

Mr. Zanthon feems to have mistaken the caprices of his wife for the fymptoms of a deplorable difeafe. deed, had I not reason to believe that he is a goodnatured man who is too fond of his wife to perceive her follies, I should imagine that she was very much afflicted with hypochondriafm. His fituation is not a very peculiar one, as I am acquainted with a number of ladies who give equal uneafinefs to their husbands, employment to the apothecary, and diffatisfaction to their friends. It cannot be fuppofed that I wish to add new torture to those who are really afflicted with disease: their fituation is fuf. ficiently deplorable. But a love of cordials, play, and contradiction, does not appear to me to be confiftent with that delicacy of frame which so strongly marks the victims of weak nerves. Were I a physician, I might direct some mode of proceeding which might perhaps give equal fatisfaction to the husband and the wife; but, as I have not the fanction of a diploma, I have prevailed upon Dr. Galbanum (who, I am affured by the college of Edinburgh, is a man of great abilities and learning) to give me the following claffical prescription :—

R. Virga Broomenfis, manipulus unum. Signe. Applicatur Dorfàlem omnæ tertio qaque horam : atque eundum datur.

Verba

Verbæ Iracundi et juræ qs.

Patiens vincitur in roomo nigro pro horæ duos omne die. Repetatur donæ elle curandum eft.

Hauftus fortiffimum amares fine fperits dare dones dit que elle melior est.

G. G.

As fome of my readers might not be able to underftand the importance of the Doctor's recipe, and as my verfion might not have done juftice to his elegant latinity, 1 have prevailed upon him, in spite of the anger of his brethren, to give me the following translation :

Take of birch rods, one handful.

Directions. To be applied to the fmall of the back every third hour, and a fufficient number of warm words and oaths to be given at the fame time. The patient to be confined in a dark room two hours every day. Repeat these operations till fhe be cured.-A very strong bitter draught (without fpirit) to be given, till fhe declares that she is better.

No. 3.

On eagle's wings immortal fcandal flies.

POPE.

SI fometimes divert myself with liftening to the converfations which my writings produce, without appearing to be any way interested in the fubject, I have