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banity. That, said Sparkle, is the most sympathetic interest. He will look most popular man at this moment in Lon- condolence with a discarded minister, and don. What is it-? Oh dear, no smile congratulations towards his success.

a very different character: the gentle.or: he will never blink an eye, through man is Sir Daisy Dumbell: nature has the most tedious tragedy or poem that ever given him, as you observe, a most prepos- was rehearsed to a suffering victim, or even sessing exterior, which he has employed to laugh but where the author expects it, in the best advantage, without ungratefully the most vivacious comedy. In short, he endeavouring to spoil it, by too much at. is the common friend of mankind; I might tention to the inside. He is a parvenu, say the common sewer, for he is the depowho has raised himself to rank and dis- sitory of all the grievances of all mankind, tinction, and is even reported to be in the who are sure of his sympathy, and certain new batch of peers." You speak in enig- of never being thwarted in their resolutions mas,' said Pen ; ' is his genius so sur and plans, upon which they consult him. passing, that it has forced its way without As he puts every man in good humour the toil of cultivation ? No—he is no with himself, so he is esteemed in turn by genius, and has not even cultivated his every man, in the point of view most in dulness : he possessed, however, from the favour with his own notions. He is by cradle, an intuitive insight into the uni. turns, or rather altogether,—for there is no versal passion of mankind, and from being detraction on any part,—the most learned, the darling of the nursery, has become scientific,— handsome,-- well-bred, - disthe idol of the world.' Has the universal cerning,—intelligent,-kind-hearted,-bepassion been decided upon, then ?' asked nevolent man in the world ; by which, unPen, smiling. Not by philosophers, per- der each separate designation, he is conhaps,' returned Tom, but by a much sidered inferior only to his immediate pawiser class of persons—men of the world ; negyrist,—to whom his own modesty, after and they have ascertained that flattery, the example of the heroes of Greece, conin some shape or other, is the key to stantly assigns the first place." every man's heart, from the peer to the “ Pen was very much amused with the peasant... Then he is a sycophant, like account of this popular character; and haPliant, with whom we dined to-day.” As ving contrived to overhear part of the conunlike as—the Doctor there and myself. versation, which was passing between the He has listened himself into the favour of dowager, and this gentleman, he found mankind and womankind. Listened him, with an expression of countenance himself !” “Even so—he listens to the phie which would have done honour to the philosopher and the pedant with an earnest- lanthropist, about to burst open the prisonness of attention, and with a countenance house of oppressed virtue, or suffering heof such intelligence, that at one and the roism,-listening to a tale of says he,' same moment he convinces them of his and says she,' and a long account of a own powers, and his admiration of their Marlbro' breed of puppy dogs, which he superiority: He never exceeds a well-in- rarely, but at well calculated intervals, introduced ejaculation of perfect assent, or a terrupted withAdmirably retorted! monosyllable, expressive of entire convic- Charmingly!' until the old lady arriving tion. With the statesman, a shrug and a at a climax, was ready to kiss her auditor, nod are all that is required ; and I know for the look of inquiry, which seemed to an instance of one of our most popular express disappointment that there was no speakers, who, after an hour's audience more to be heard ! with this incomparable actor, declared he " Pen was too much disgusted, even to was the best-informed man in the three repeat the laugh which Sparkle's mode of kingdoms,—although he literally had never illustrating the character had called forth. opened his lips between the first salutation They proceeded onwards, Tom speaking

and certain cordial expressions on his de- and making some odd remark or observaer, at

parture. With the soldier he may do any tion to, or upon, every one they encounFievance:9)

thing, for he listens with apparent delight tered. You know every body,' said Pen. --and oo -909 00 P heart ;-the anecdote-monger he can twist knows me—you understand,' continued he,

to the history of a campaign he knows by “Yes,' answered Sparkle, and every body LIGASIJGGHƏJU GL sf ceea 1

round his finger, by an assenting laugh or with a sigh, which sigh was not lost upon

groan at tales that he has told himself, or our hero, and added not a little to the iner, at ease heard by anticipation from twenty other terest which his new acquaintance had rievance:99 different sources ;—the lawyer he will at- awakened in him ; for he suspected, that, --and oo tend without a yawn, or even a vacancy of with all his vivacity, and all the admira--GIG 00

countenance, on the most dry and intricate tion which his ready wit attracted, he was IGASUGO

cause ;-his hostess, through the whole not a happy man. Tom, however, gave

gossip of the neighhourhood, with the gaze him no time to follow up the reflection : er, at eas of new wonder, at each slip ;-the widow's “I may in return observe, said he, that ievance:990. list of her grievances, with a scarcely sup- you seem to know nobody.' No,' an—and oo bnpressed tear,--and of a miss debutante, of swered Pen, I'm a stranger in London

-gig oo pueer lovers and her conquests, with the and ever since I have been here, my object LIGASUGGƏTULA GL sf sea 726

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mas pasang this gades, expresia da ve done at to burst med virtes,

has been rather to avoid than seek society.' each other in their desire to be introduced

That's a bad plan ; you can't read a bet- to Mr Pen Owen,whilst a beatiful, but ter book, than that which this great town slatternly girl, with a roll of paper in hier

opens to you. Nor a more dangerous hand, declared she had been long most single one, I suspect,' returned Pen. Nay, for earnestly waiting for an opportunity of the matter of that, you may read as you being

personally known' to our hero. run; so that you may run—when you've “ Before Lady Bab, to whom more de nana là read too much. Is that so easy?' I ference appeared to be paid, -as Pen af

mean to try, some fine day,' answered terwards understood, because her rooms 272 firki Sparkle, half seriously, and half jocosely; were larger, and her accommodations more

shall I introduce you to some people?' appropriate, than those of her rivals, Not at present,' replied Pen, when turn- was quite shut out from the object of her ing his eyes towards an opening door, he immediate worship, she had slipped a card

saw, to his great surprise, his friend Mode- into his hand --which, if he put a wrong CITY

ly, Good heavens !' said he to his interpretation upon for a moment, did not
companion, if there isn't Modely the book, the less shock and surprise him,-when
seller. To be sure he's every where ; he really ascertained its purport.
he is the Macenus of literature, -is he not When the ladies had satisfied their
in his element? By the byè he is talking anxious desire of sounding Mr Pen Owen,
to Lady Bab Cento about you—or me. they were succeeded by a crowd of gentle
No, I'm sure you are the subject. What! men, who, if they were more decorous in
have I detected an author in my Tyro!' obedience to certain laws, the breach of

Pen then, as usual, informed him of which are attended with some hazard, every thing that had passed between Mode- were certainly not less warm in their exly and himself, and was proceeding in pressions of regard, in acknowledging the

his eulogium, when Sparkle interrupted honour conferred upon them—by being the heroes him.

You were observing, not five mi made known to Mr Pen Owen. nutes ago, that you had not an acquaint * Three brilliant stars of British growth, ance in the room. I spoke the simple four continental, and one Maltese cross, truth,-- with the exception of our host, and were of the number of his professing adModely, who las entered since. And his mirers ; and Pen, unconscious of what he name is --Legion, said Tom.

How?' felt, or what he ought to feel,-—whether it I will bet you the profits of your next was a sort of practical hoax, of which he poem. You liad better bet what it may had read some account in the newspapers, be worth.

You stole that, my friend ; or that his confinement, by order of the but Like the gipsies,—have disfi, House, having got wind, had raised him gured it, to make it pass for my own, into a seeming patriot, as in the instance of cried Pen, laughing. Stolen again—and Buckthorn, he could not divine. The idea from the same shop, retorted Tom : . but of being selected as a poet, ---or that genius, I am now ready to make a large bet, and real or usurped, was the order of the day, therefore, offer to stake, to the amount of among would be critics and amateur dang your next offering,—that, before ten mi, lers on the muses, was too remote, and out mutes are passed, you will be acquainted of the range of his calculations, to be enwith half the rooin.

tertained for a moinent. He kept, there* Pen stared—ard was in the act of de- fore, retiring, and bowing, and smiling, manding an explanation of his words, when receiving cards in all directions, and of all Modely, pushing his way towards our hero, dimensions, till he had fairly

backed himand holding a hand of Lady Bab Cento, self to the chair into which Tom Sparkle bowed to him and expressed her Lady- had thrown himself in a convulsion of ship's most anxious desire to become ac- laughter, he neither attempted, nor could quainted with Mr Pen Owen !

have succeeded, in checking. He was so astonished at the abrupt “ Pen seized him by the arm, and enness of the introduction, that the laugh treated him to rise and afford him some in which had spread from Sparkle's

eye, and sight into the scene which had been passjust reached his lips, was arrested, and fi

, ing around him. nally checked by the flow of eloquent and **For Heaven's sake, sir, tell me what

panegyric, bestowed by Lady Bab I am to think of all this ? ---Stand off, genupon our hero. Before he could suffi- tlemen.---Mr Sparkle, is this intended as ciently collect himself to return a properly an insult—or a farce-or is it "Hush, arranged acknowledgment for so unex- hush,' whispered Sparkle, bow away your pected an honour, he was completely sepa. worshippers, and then sit down quietly, rated from his companion

Sparkle, by the whilst I edify you with all necessary circumintervention of male and female intruders, stances connected with your apotheosis.' who approached him amid shrugs, and “Pen, after some labour, and much difwhispered intimations-evidently refer- ficulty, made good his retreat, having abring to himself.

stained from fixing upon any individual to Three antiquated dowagers succeeded answer for the impertinence, which he VOL. XI.

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could not still wol conceiving had been, genius, and the aspirings of genuine wit, in some shape of other, intended against can no longer lie hid or be obscured.o him.

Well,' observed Pen, rendered somewhat Kiind now, my dear sir,' throwing him- calmer, and more reeonciled to his new self in a state of exhaustion into the next honours, by the good-humoured arguments chair, for píty's sake let me know why I of Sparkle, • I must make the most of my am thus selected as an object of ridicule or fame, before my trash has stamped my de. impertinence, and how I may set about merits; but what am I to think of this same obtaining some satisfaction ?' Why, my Lady Bab Cento, who sat next me for two good Mr Owen, you have been crowned in hours to-day, at dinner, and never conde. the Capitol !--the laurel wreath was woven scended to ascertain whether I were a block. by your panegyrist Modely, and has been head or a wit ?' • Your name wasn't up, placed on your head by her most blue ma- and that of your rival, who so engrossed her jesty Lady Bab Cento, the paragon of attention, was. He had written a copy of patronesses, the very pink of Della Crus- verses, which have been handed about for can crities. To be noticed by her ladyship this week past, in manuscript, but if she to be of her select parties—to be in her had met even him yesterday, you might train,-is to be seated in the saddle of Pc. have stood your ground against him.? As gasus, and installed in the temple of fame. how?' As thus ; it was only just before Grub-Street,--no longer Grub-Street,-is her ladyship dressed for dinner, that Sir a well-furnished, well-appointed hotel, at William Troufler informed her that Lord the west end of the town, and no man who Ombre had said they were the lines of a can spell, and write his name at the foot of man of genius.' "And is Lord Ombre's a title-page, need now want a dinner or a judgment the great criterion of excellence?' patron. Wire-wove paper, and hot-pressed For the last three weeks, indisputably.' sheets, like a forcing house, can make the You talk too oracularly for me," smiled rankest weed blossom like an exotic, and Pen. I speak more truth than oracles what is wanting in vigour, is made up in usually do, retorted Tom; ' for nothing mawkish morality, or in unintelligible reigns in this good town beyond the limits mysticism. The trade, I assure you, is of a month. Public opinion would stag. now carried on by well-bred gentlemen, nate, and stink in our very nostrils, if the and by all classes of most decent and well- changeful eddics of fashion did not agitate mannered personages, in clean linen and it at periodical intervals.” “Am I to ina purple clothing, and if any one of them fer, then, that the rage for his lordships fail as an author, he is sure of being enter. poetry will be as short-lived ?' demanded ed-S A CRITIC. Not a few of our mo. Pen. No, that may live some time dern writers have risen from a state of con- longer by a rapid supply of novelty, or the demnation to the elevated rank of literary more politic threat of smothering his muse." patrons. The race of needy bards is extinct, Smothering! what can you mean?'. His and the scandal of neglected genius cannot lordship’s occasional threat to favour the certainly be charged upon the present age. world with no more of his poetical rhapTo profess one's self an author is a pass. sodies.' • The morals of the world, at port to half the dinner-tables, and all the least, would not be injured, were he to conversazzionis in town; to be a successful keep his word.' "'Tis that perhaps which author, is to be a rich man; to be patron. induces him to break it from time to ized by Modely, is to secure a niche among time,' retorted Tom ; " for he professes to the worthies of Britain. The devil! has hold our goodly world in no great esteem, he made me his butt?" Far from it and its morality in less." How revolting his opinion has given you fame before you to our best feelings !' exclaimed Pen : had earned it; yet he is seldom out in his this perversion of genius bestowed by man : I pin my faith upon him, in this in- Heaven' For that Heaven's sake,' in. stance at least. • But is it to be endured, terrupted Sparkle, reserve your criticism that without seeking or professing—'You for a fitter occasion ; at present it is rank should attain at once what others profess heresy; and if you are heard, which you and seek for !-faith, I see no great hard- appear resolved to be, you will assuredly ship in all this :---why, you seem to be as be banished from the circle, to which you much ashamed of the character of a poet, have just been raised by acclamation." as if you had lived in the antiquated pe- ' But what,' continued Pen, in a more riod of the Drydens and Otways, et hoc subdued tone, what must be the conse genus omne!'. The recollection of such quence of such a man holding the rank of names makes me blush at our degeneracy.' patron ?' 'He a patron! you mistake the

Nay, reserve your blushes for those who matter altogether. He couldn't eat without neglected such men, and rather hail the pe- a patron of his own. A British peer riod when, if indiscriminating vanity, as need a patron ! Oh dear, no, only a suming the form of enthusiasm, in its pa. British poet

. Letters, you know, acknow: tronage of literature and the arts, commit ledge no titles, they form a republic of many egregious blunders, and crown with their own---' And like all republics, are false meed the abortions of mediocrity, true! • Venal, you would say, and say

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truly: and Modely's purse is dictator.' judgment, an answer mnst be returned.
• Is he the patron? Of his lordship? The great resources on these occasions are
most assuredly.'

found to be an oracular ambiguity on the
* Pen looked astonished, but said nothing. part of the presiding divinity, or an opinion
At length, Lady Bab Cento, in passing to which, with a little ingenuity, may be sub-
her carriage, which had just been announced sequently twisted in any manner most
in thunder, and re-echoed up the vaulted suitable to existing circumstances ; such as,
staircase, repeated her hope of being ho- • I have merely looked it over-I hardly
noured by Mr Pen Owen's attendance at know what to say there are certainly some
her select parties; to which he bowed in good things ;' or, I know something of
silence, and again turning to his Asmodeus, the author, and it would not be fair to in.
observed, that if what his friend had said fluence public opinion one way or another.'
were truc, this lady, with all her preten. Thus, by an admirablc display of cautious
şions, forned her judgment only at sccond criticisin and polished candour, his lordship

or her ladlyship is enabled to take advantage
*** There again, at your old Grub-Street of the first wind that blows, in order to sail
notions. We have now everything at se with the general current.' • And is Lady
cond hand, except our clothes, and there Bab a woman of character ?' • That is ra-
lies the inportant change in the constitution ther a Gothic question ; but I will tell you
of society. Do you think, if this woman in confidence, she is a very phænix of
judged for herself, she wouldn't have found chastity, and therefore consumes the cha.
you out at dinner?' 'I doubt whether she racter of every other woman in the flame
would,' said Pen, laughing ; but I am of her own purity! • I mean to ask, is
such a novice, that I should hardly suppose she a moral woman?' “ Why, as to mo-

professed critic, and patron of letters, rality, brother Joseph," a woman who has
would openly borrow the scales in which no feeling to gratify, but that of personal
others had placed the weights.' "You vanity and ambition, to which she would
haven't hit the figure; justice was running sacrifice every tie in life, has little merit in
in your head, whilst instinct would have preserving a decorum she has no tempta-
better suggested the expedient.” “Instinct! tion to infringe, and which it would be
as how, pray ? Do you remember ruinous to outrage. I never heard that she
the proboscis of the gadfly dissected by the committed murder, or even petty larceny,
microscopic skill of our friend Dr Micron, except on literary subjects; but I believe it
ous ?" Pen laughed. • These arbiters of would be equally difficult to detect a single
taste,' continued Sparkle, possess the same act of real charity or benevolence,' • She
sort of organs; and, like the doctor's, their may write her own epitaph for me,' cried
greatest ingenuity is displayed in keeping Pen, indignantly. She has done that al-
them out of sight. I'm too dull to como ready ; and if not framed, glazed, and hung
prehend you," sighed Pen. “And too blind over the parlour chimney, like that of
to see Micronous's Tabanus without an in. Goody Primrose, it is at least fairly tran-
struinent, but I am behind the scenes, and scribed upon smooth vellum paper, and de.
will be your microscope. Drawers of wa corated with stamp allegories of her im.
ter and hewers of wood are, in spite of their plied virtues.' " What ! an epitaph before
ancient origin, still low-lived beings; but death! It is on her virtues," returned
there are fetchers and carriers of another Tom, laughing."
description, who sleep on down and live on These two extracts must be quite
the fat of the land. These are your male enough to satisfy any one who has any
and female antennæ, or feclers, which are thoughts of seeing the book itself. We
thrown out before our great devourers of cannot answer quite so effectually the
authors, to pick up, and convey all the li demand of those, who, when they re-
terary, political, and private gossip, spread
over the surface of the town. Why, sir, ceive this Number of Maga on the
there's not a good thing uttered, or a fuux Banks of Indlus or Ganges, or Oxley,
pas committed, between Westminster and wish to God (after coming thus far)
Hyde Park Corner, in the morning, that we had sent them the three volumes
isn't carefully docketted, and laid by for of Pen Owen along with it. Indeed,
use in the common-place books and escru we cannot pretend to give thein any
toires of these literary cormorants by the thing more than a slight snatch of the
evening. The opinions of A, B, and C, delight which, in its fulness, awaits
upon a new play, a new poen, or a new
pamphlet, are safely lodged in this choice lumes. But we can afford to extract

the perusers of these worshipful vom
repertory, before there is a chance of one
of those learned arbiters of taste being com-

one more passage, and in doing so, we
mitted by an unwary criticism. Sometimes, shall take care to select one, which he
indeed, upon a sudden defect or stoppage that handles Pen Owen himself here
in these sources, an unfortunate question after, will not grudge reading a second
may be unexpectedly started; and as prompt time--no, nor a tenth time; and which
decision is the very quintessence of superior our readers, whether they are or are

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not novel readers, ought to read. It but of men who are interested in the preis by far the best disquisition on the servation of our rights, and who do not Radical question we have met with. think it necessary to become the tools of It possesses all the luminous wisdom faction, or the preachers of sedition, in of a Burke or a Canning, united with order to check the excesses of a minister or all the dramatic quickness and liveli- the peculations of a public servant'_“They ness of a Sheridan, and all the ster- turned the stranger ; whigs and tories


may all be shaken in a bag together,' reling unanswerable pith of a Swift.

ins and outs, and the devil not be much Pen Owen, our friend the Grazier, puzzled when he puts his hand in.-and a third hand, a reformer, though And yet, sir,' resumed Pen, it is to the not after all a very bloody-minded conflicting interests of party that we owe one, are seated around a table covered the blessings of our constitution. •Pretty with pewter-pots, &c. The curtain blessings ! and heaven thank these corruprises, and it rises on what might not tion-breeders for them. What has all unworthily have given materials for on a sudden corrupted these men ?' asked one of the Noctes Ambrosiunc them- Pen; men who, from their property, selves, these exquisite sketches which station, and connexions, are at least as shew that, in spite of “ pale cant and much interested as the sturdiest reformer fat humbug,” the art of comic

dialogue corruption, and boroughmongering:

can be in the common weal?' Bribery, is not extinct in England. We have • But, sir ! you will admit

, that open bo. been obliged, however, to leave out a roughs and counties are often bribed into a few passages here and there.

return of members.' That may be ; we “Is not Parliament,' says Pen, just can't help that.'- Will that mend the wbat it always was; or, if any alteration matter. How is a man, who has bought has taken place, is it not all-on the popu- and corrupted whole masses of people, to lar side?'

· The Deuce it is !' cried the carry load of virtue into parliament; stranger ; 'what, the corruption, the bo- whilst he who simply pays the same money roughmotgering system, the'I know for the purchase of a seat, without either nothing of these cant terms of party ; I say corruption or bribery, is loaded with exe. that, in what are called the proudest pe- cration, and accused of mercenary motives? riods of our history, corruption stalked in • Because it is against the constitution ! open day, and members of Parliament re • Where is the constitution, sir ?' asked ceived bribes, as openly as lawyers now do Pen... Where! the Lord knows where; their fees.' • What's that to the question ? any where but where it ought to be.though I don't belicve a word on't. “Sir,' · The Lord deliver me from such a rigmaexclaimed Pen, • I speak from authority.' role, cried the grazier ; • the constitution • Suppose you do, sir ; our eyes are now anywhere! Odds, mun, thee dosta't mean opened ; we see the corruption, and we to sai ould England ha'nt a constitution? must crush it.' • You see what doesn't What's all to do at Westminster there ?" exist, sir,' retorted Pen ; no such degra “ I only wished the gentleman,'observed ding traffic is carried on in the present Pen, with a smile of contempt

, peculiarly corrupt times.'

• Whoi, ater all, gentle- his own, to point out the constitution, men, cried the grazier, . what the dickens which appears so defined to him, and to has Parliament to do wi moi pocket being show how the practice of the same conpicked by that confounded rascal Noah stitution in the best times, differs from that Toop, as he called himself ? Every of our own.'

Why, zounds,' exclaimed thing'! if there is no foundation, the whole the stranger, you don't mean to defend building will totter,' answered the stranger. corruption ! *Far from it, sir,' answered --- But, sir,' observed Pen, “ you have

not Pen; I only want to ascertain it. And proved the fact yet.' • Proved ! isn't it as isn't it before your eyes ?" If so, I am light as day? What need of proof? Are too blind to perceive it. None so blind not seats bought, and sold, and trafficked as those who will not see.' I only ask like bales of goods ? A man may buy a you to open my eyes.' Hav’nt I told you seat in parliament,' returned Pen, • with seats are bought and sold among the bou out carrying rottenness to the constitution. roughmongers ? I have been told that almost all our greatest • • I answer again, this is no proof of patriots and most distinguished statesmen corruption, or at least no proof of corruption have bought their seats.' • What of that, peculiar to our times ; for I repeat

, it existthey're your sham patriots, your lack-a- ed in what the reformers of the present day daisical whigs, who denounce a minister, call the grcat and glorious times of the and walk arm in arm with the honourable constitution. But I will go further, and gentleman the next moment. *Why, sir,' confess that I think a man infinitely more exclaimed Pen, it is to such men we owe independent, in the fullest sense of the the existence of our liberties. I don't speak temi, who enters the House of Conanons of trading politicians on one side or the as the purchager of a scai, than one who, other, either in the higher or lower ranks ; to secure his own interests with them, bas

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