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JA QUE S. Pr’ythee, pretty youth, let me be better acquainted with thee.
Rof. They say, you are a melancholy fellow. Faq. I am so; I do love it better than laughing.
Rof. Those, that are in extremity of either, are abominable fellows; and betray themselves to every modern censure, worse than drunkards.
Faq. Why, 'tis good to be sad, and say nothing. Rof. Why then, 'tis good to be a post.
Faq. I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is emulation; nor the musician's, which is fantastical; nor the courtier's, which is proud ; nor the soldier's, which is ambitious; nor the lawyer's, which is polia tick; nor the lady's, which is nice; nor the lover's, which is all these; but it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and, indeed, the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness.
Ref. A traveller! by my faith, you have great reason to be sad: I fear, you have sold your own lands, to see other mens; then, to have seen much, and to have nothing, is to have rich
and Jaq. Yes, I have gain’d my experience.
Enter Orlando. Rof. And your experience makes you sad: I had rather have a fool to make me merry, than experience to make me sad, and to travel for it too,
Orla. Good day, and happiness, dear Rosalind!
Faq. Nay, then God b'w'y you, an you talk in blank verse.
[Exit. Rof. Farewel, monsieur traveller ; look, you lilp,and wear strange suits ; disable all the benefits of your own Country; be out of love with your nativity, and almost chide God for making you that countenance you are; or I will scarce think, you have fwam in a Gondola. Why, how now, Orlando, where have you been all this while? You a lover ? an you serve me such another trick, never come in my light more.
Orla. My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of my promise.
Rof. Break an hour's promise in love? he that will divide a minute into a thousand parts, and break but a part of the thousandth part of a minute in the affairs of love, it may be said of him, that Cupid hath clapt him o'th' shoulder, but I'll warrant him heart-whole.
Orla. Pardon me, dear Rosalind.
Rof. Nay, an you be so tardy, come no more in my light; I had as lief be woo'd of a snail. Orla. Of a snail ?
Rof. Ay, of a snail; for tho' he comes flowly, he carries his house on his head: a better jointure, I think, than you make a woman; besides, he brings his destiny with him.
Orla. What's that?
Rof: Why, horns; which such as you are fain to be beholden to your wives for; but he comes armed in his fortune, and prevents the flander of his wife.
Orla. Virtue is no horn-maker; and my Rosalind is virtuous.
Ros. And I am your Rosalind.
Cel. It pleases him to call you so; but he hath a Rosalind of a better leer than you.
Rof. Come, woo me, woo me; for now I am in a holyday humour, and like enough to consent: what would you say to me now, an I were your very, very Rosalind? Orla. I would kiss, before I spoke.
Rof. Nay, you were better speak first, and when you were gravell’d for lack of matter, you might take occasion to kiss. Very good orators, when they are out, they will spit; and for lovers lacking, God warn us, matter, the cleanlieft shift is to kiss.
Orla. How if the kiss be denied ?
Rof. Then she puts you to entreaty, and there begins new matter.
Orla. Who could be out, being before his beloved mistress ?
Rol: Marry, that should you, if I were your mistress; or I should think my honesty ranker than my wit.
Orla. What, of my suit ? Ros. Not out of your apparel, and yet out of your suit. Am not I your Rosalind?
Orla. I take some joy to say, you are; because I would be talking of her.
Ros. Well, in her person, I say, I will not have you. Orla. Then in mine own person I die.
Rof. No, faith, die by attorney; the poor world is almost six thousand years old, and in all this time there was not any man died in his own person, videlicet, in a love-cause: Troilus had his brains dash'd out with a Grecian club, yet he did what he could to die before, and he is one of the patterns of love. Leander, he would have liv'd many a fair year, tho' Hero had turn'd nun, if it had not been for a hot midsummer night; for, good youth, he went but forth to wash in the Hellefpont, and, being taken with the cramp, was drown'd; and the foolish chroniclers of that age found it was, ---- Hero of Seftos. But these are all lies; men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love.
Orla. I would not have my right Rosalind of this mind; for, I proteft, her frown might kill me.
Rof, By this hand, it will not kill a flie; but come; now I will be your Rosalind in a more coming-on disposītion;
and ask me what you will, I will grant it. Orla. Then love me, Rosalind. Rof. Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and Saturdays, and all.
Orla. And wilt thou have me?
Rof: Why then, can one desire too much of a good thing? come, fifter, you shall be the priest, and marry us. Give me your hand, Orlando : what do you say, Sister?
Orla. Pray thee, marry us.
Cel. Go to ; will you, Orlando, have to wife this
Orla. I will
Rof. Then you must say, I take thee Rosalind for wife.
Orlą. I take thee Rosalind for wife.
Rof. I might ask you for your commission, but I do take thee Orlando for my husband : there's a girl goes before the priest, and certainly a woman's thought runs before her actions,
Orla. So do all thoughts; they are wing’d. Rof. Now tell me, how long you would have her, after
you have pofleft her. Orla. For ever and a day. Rof, Say a day, without the ever: no, no, Orlando, men are April when they woo, December when they wed: maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives; I will be more jealous of thee than a Barbary cock-pidgeon over his hen ; more clamorous than a parrot against rain; more newfangļed than an ape; more giddy in my desires than a monkey; I will weep for nothing, like Diana in the fountain; and I will do that, when you are dispos'd to be merry; I will laugh like a hyen, and that when you are inclin’d to fleep. Orla. But will my Rosalind do so?
Rof. By my life, she will do as I do.
Rof. Or else she could not have the wit to do this; the wiser, the waywarder: make the doors fast upon a woman's wit, and it will out at the casement shut that, and 'cwill out at the key-hole; stop that, it will fly with the smoak out at the chimney.
Orla. A man that had a wife with such a wit, he might say, Wit, whither wilt ?
Rof. Nay, you might keep that check for it, 'till you met your wife's wit going to your neighbour's bed.
Orla. And what wit could wit have to excuse that?
Rof. Marry, to say she came to seek you there: you fhall never take her without her answer, unless you take her without her tongue. O that woman, that cannot make her fault her husband's occafion, let her never nurse her child her self, for the will breed it like a fool! Orla. For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave
thee. Ref. Alas, dear love, I cannot lack thee two hours.
Orla. I muft attend the Duke at dinner ; by two o'clock I will be with thee again. Rof. Ay, go your ways, go your ways;
I knew what you would prove, my friends told me as much, and I thought no less; that flattering tongue
of yours won me; 'tis but one caft away, and so come death: two o'th'clock is your hour!
Orla. Ay, sweet Rosalind.
Rof. By my troth, and in good earnest, and so God mend me, and by all pretty oaths that are not dangerous, if you break one jot of your promise, or come one minute behind your hour, I will think you the most pathetical break-promise, and the most hollow lover, and the most unworthy of her you call Rosalind, that may be chosen out of the gross band of the unfaithful; therefore beware my censure, and keep your promise.
Orla. With no less religion, than if thou wert in: deed my Rosalind; so adieu.