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King. Take her by the hand,
Ber. I take her hand.
King. Good fortune, and the favour of the king,
Exeunt KING, BERTRAM, HELENA, LORDS, and Attendants.
Laf. Are you companion to the count Rousillon?
Laf: I must tell thee, sirrah, I write man; to which title age cannot bring thee.
Par. What I dare too well do, I dare not do. Laf. I did think thee, for two ordinaries,t to be a pretty wise fellow; thou didst maké tolerable vent of thy travel: it might pass : yet the scarfs, and the bannerets, about thee, did manifoldly dissuade me from believing thee a vessel of too great a burden. I have now found thee; when I lose thee again, I care not: yet art thou good for nothing but taking up;I and that thou art scarce worth.
Par. Hadst thou not the privilege of antiquity upon thee,
Laf. Do not plunge thyself too far in anger, lest thou hasten thy trial ; which if-Lord have mercy on thee for a hen! So, my good window of lattice, fare thee well; thy casement I need not open, for I look through thee. Give me thy hand. Par. My lord, you give me most egregious indignity. Laf. Ay, with all my heart;
and thou art worthy of it. Par. I have not, my lord, deserved it.
Laf. Yes, good faith, every dram of it; and I will not bate thee a scruple.
Par. Well, I shall be wiser.
Laf. E'en as soon as thou canst, for thou hast to pull at a smack oʻthe contrary. If ever thou be'st bound in thy scarf, and beaten, thou shalt find what it is to be proud of thy bondage. I have a desire to hold my acquaintance with thee, or rather my knowledge; that I may say, in the default,* he is a man I know.
* I. e. the contract just made. + I. e. while I sate twice with thee at dinner. # Contradicting.
Par. My lord, you do me most insupportable vexation.
Laf. I would it were hell-pains for thy sake, and my poor doing eternal: for doing, I am past; as I willt by thee, in what motion age will give me leave.
[Exit. Par. Well, thou hast a son shall take this disgrace off me; scurvy, old, filthy, scurvy lord !-Well, I must be patient; there is no fettering of authority. I'll beat him, by my life, if I can meet him with any convenience, an he were double and double a lord. I'll have no more pity of his age, than I would have ofI'll beat him, an if I could but meet him again.
Re-enter LAFEU. Laf. Sirrah, your lord and master's married, there s news for you; you have a new mistress.
Par. I most unfeignedly beseech your lordship to make some reservation of your wrongs: He is my good lord: whom I serve above, is my master.
Laf. Who? God ?
Laf. The devil it is, that's thy master. Why dost thou garter up thy arms o’ this fashion ? dost make hose of thy sleeves ? do other servants so ? Thou wert best set thy lower part where thy nose stands. By mine honour, if I were but two hours younger, I'd beat thee: methinks, thou art a general offence, and every man should beat thee. I think, thou wast created for men to breathe I themselves upon thee. Par. This is hard
and undeserved measure, my lord. Laf. Go to, Sir; you were beaten in Italy for picking a kernel out of a pomegranate; you are a vagabond, and no true traveller: you are more saucy with lords, and honourable personages, than the heraldry of your birth and virtue gives you commission. You are not worth another word, else I'd call you knave. I leave you.
[Exit. Enter BERTRAM. Par. Good, very good; it is so then. -Good, very good; let it be concealed a while.
Ber. Undone, and forfeited to cares for ever!
Ber. Although before the solemn priest I have sworn,
Par. What? what, sweet heart ?
Ber. O my Parolles, they have married me: I'll to the Tuscan wars, and never bed her.
Par. France is a dog-hole, and it no more merits The tread of a man's foot: to the wars !
Ber. There's letters from my mother; what the import is, I know not yet.
Par. Ay, that would be known: To the wars, my boy, to the wars! He wears his honour in a box unseen,
* At need.
That hugs his kicksy-wicksy here at home:
Ber. It shall be so; I'll send her to my house,
Par. Will this capricio hold in thee, art sure ?
Par. Why, these balls bound; there's noise in it.—'Tis hard;
Enter HELENA and CLOWN. Hel. My mother greets me kindly: is she well ?
Clo. She is not well; but yet she has her health : she's very merry; but yet she is not well: but thanks be given, she's very well, and wants nothing i' the world; but yet she is not well.
Hel. If she be very well, what does she ail, that she's not very well ?
Clo. Truly, she's very well, indeed, but for two things.
Clo. One, that she's not in heaven, whither God send her quickly! the other, that she's in earth, from whence, God send her quickly!
Enter PAROLLES. Par. Bless you, my fortunate lady!
Hel. I hope, Sir, I have your good-will to have mine own good fortunes.
Par. You had my prayers to lead them on : and to keep them on, have them still.-0, my knave! how does my old lady?
Clo. So that you had her wrinkles, and I her money, I would she did as you say. Par. Why, I say nothing.
Clo. Marry, you are the wiser man; for many a man's tongue shakes out his master's undoing: To say nothing, to do nothing, to know nothing, and to have nothing, is to be a great part of your title ; which is within a very little of nothing.
Par. Away, thou’rt a knave.
Clo. You should have said, Sir, before a knave, thou art a knave; that is, before me, thou art a knave: this had been truth, Sir.
Par. Go to, thou art a witty fool, I have found thee.
Clo. Did you find me in yourself, Sir? or were you taught to find me? The search, Sir, was profitable; and much fool may you find in you, even to the world's pleasure, and the increase of laughter.
Par. A good knave, i' faith, and well fed.--
Hel. What's his will else ?
Par. That you will take your instant leave o' the king,
Hel. What more commands he?
Par. That, having this obtain'd, you presently
Hel. In everything I wait upon his will.
[Exeunt. SCENE V.-Another Room in the same.
Enter LAFEU and BERTRAM.
Laf. Then my dial goes not true; I took this lark for a bunting.
Ber. I do assure you, my lord, he is very great in knowledge, and accordingly valiant.
Laf. I have then sinned against his experience, and transgressed against his valour; and my state that way is dangerous, since I cannot yet find in my heart to repent. Here he comes; I pray you, make us friends, I will pursue the amity.
Enter PAROLLES. Par. These things shall be done, Sir. [To BERTRAM. Laf. Pray you, Sir, who's his tailor ? Par. Sir?
Laf. O, I know him well: Ay, Sir; he, Sir, is a good workman, a very good tailor. Ber. Is she gone to the king ?
(Aside to PAROLLES. Par. She is. Ber. Will she away to-night?
* Ostensible necessity.
Par. As you'll have her.
Ber. I have writ my letters, casketed my treasure,
Laf. A good traveller is something at the latter end of a dinner, but one that lies three-thirds, and uses a known truth to pass a thousand nothings with, should be once heard, and thrice beaten.—God save you, captain.
Ber. Is there any unkindness between my lord and you, monsieur ?
Par. I know not how I have deserved to run into my lord's displeasure.
Laf. You have made shift to run into't, boots and spurs and all, like him that leaped into the custard; and out of it you'll run again, rather than suffer question for your residence.
Ber. It may be, you have mistaken him, my lord.
Laf. And shall do so ever, though I took him at his prayers. Fare you well, my lord: and believe this of me. There can be no kernel in this light nut; the soul of this man is his clothes: trust him not in matter of heavy consequence; I have kept of them tame, and know their natures.- Farewell, monsieur: I have spoken better of you, than you have or will deserve at my hand; but we must do good against evil.
[Exit. Par. An idle lord, I swear. Ber. I think so. Par. Why, do you not know him ?
Ber. Yes, I do know him well ; and common speech
Ber. I shall obey his will.
[Giving a letter. 'Twill be two days ere I shall see you; so I leave you to your wisdom.
Hel. Sir, I can nothing say,