answer, unless you take her without her tongue. 0, that woman that cannot make her fault her husband's occasion, let her never nurse her child herself, for she will breed it like a fool. Orl. For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee. Ros. Alas, dear love, I cannot lack thee two hours. Orl. I must attend the duke at dinner; by two o'clock I will be with thee again. Ros. How say you now? Is it not past two o'clock? and here much Orlando! Ros. Ay, go your ways, go your ways;-I knew what you would prove; my friends told troubled brain, he hath ta'en his bow and arCel. I warrant you, with pure love, and me as much, and I thought no less-that flat-rows, and is gone forth-to sleep: Look, who tering tongue of yours won me:-'tis but one cast away, and so,-come, death.-Two o'clock is your hour? Orl. Ay, sweet Rosalind. comes here. Enter SILVIUS. My gentle Phebe bid me give you this: [Giving a letter. Ros. By my troth, and in good earnest, and so God mend me, and by all pretty oaths that are not dangerous, if you break one jot of your I know not the contents; but, as I guess, promise, or come one minute behind your hour, By the stern brow, and waspish action I will think you the most pathetical break-Which she did use as she was writing of it, promise, and the most hollow lover, and the It bears an angry tenor: pardon me, most unworthy of her you call Rosalind, that I am but as a guiltless messenger. may be chosen out of the gross band of the unfaithful: therefore beware my censure, and keep your promise. Orl. With no less religion, than if thou wert indeed my Rosalind: So, adieu. Ros. Well, time is the old justice that examines all such offenders, and let time try: Adieu! [Erit ORLANDO. Cel. You have simply misused our sex in your love-prate: we must have your doublet and hose plucked over your head, and show the world what the bird hath done to her own nest. Ros. Patience herself would startle at this letter, love me She says, I am not fair; that I lack manners; Phebe did write it. Ros. O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, And turn'd into the extremity of love. Ros. Come, come, you are a fool, that thou didst know how many fathom deep I saw her hand: she has a leathern hand, I am in love! But it cannot be sounded; myA freestone-colour'd hand; I verily did think aflection hath an unknown bottom, like the bay That her old gloves were on, but 'twas her of Portugal. Cel. Or rather bottomless; that as fast as you pour affection in, it runs out. Ros. No, that same wicked bastard of Venus, that was begot of thought,* conceived of spleen, and born of madness; that blind rascally boy, that abuses every one's eyes, because his own are out, let him be judge, how deep I am in love:-I'll tell thee, Aliena, I cannot be out of the sight of Orlando: I'll go find a shadow, and sigh till he come. Cel. And I'll sleep. [Exeunt. She has a huswife's hand: but that's no matter: A style for challengers; why, she defies me, Sil. So please you, for I never heard it yet; [Reads. Art thou god to shepherd turn'd, Warr'st thou with a woman's heart? Whiles the eye of man did woo me, Meaning me a beast. If the scorn of your bright eynet Whiles you chid me, I do love; Ros. Do not pity him? no, he deserves no pity.-Wilt thou love such a woman?-What, to make thee an instrument, and play false strains upon thee! not to be endured!-Well, go your way to her, (for I see, love hath made thee a tame snake,) and say this to her:-That if she love me, I charge her to love thee: if she will not, I will never have her, unless thou entreat for her.-If you be a true lover, hence, and not a word; for here comes more company. [Exit SILVIUS. Enter OLIVER. Oli. Good-morrow, fair ones: Pray you, if] you know Where, in the purlieust of this forest, stands bour bottom, The rank of osiers by the murmuring stream, Left on your right hand, brings you to the place: But at this hour the house doth keep itself, Oli. If that an eye may profit by a tongue, Cel. It is no boast, being ask'd, to say, we are. Oli. Orlando doth commend him to you both; And to that youth, he calls his Rosalind, He sends this bloody napkin;‡ Are you he? Ros. I am What must we understand by this? Oli. Some of my shame; if you will know of [where me What man I am, and how, and why, and This handkerchief was stain'd. Cel. I pray you, tell it. Oli. When last the young Orlando parted from you, He left a promise to return again green and gilded snake had wreath'd itself, Who with her head, nimble in threats, approach'd The opening of his mouth; but suddenly * Nature. † Environs of a forest. Handkerchief. him? Oli. 'Twas I; but 'tis not I: I do not shame To tell you what I was, since my conversion So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am. Ros. But, for the bloody napkin?When from the first to last, betwixt us two, Oli. By, and by. Tears our recountments had most kindly bath'd, As, how I came into that desert place;In brief, he led me to the gentle duke, Who gave me fresh array, and entertainment, Committing nie unto my brother's love; Who led me instantly unto his cave, There stripp'd himself, and here upon his arm Which all this while had bled; and now he faintThe lioness had torn some flesh away, [ed, And cry'd, in fainting, upon Rosalind. Brief, I recover'd him; bound up his wound; And, after some small space, being strong at [heart, He sent me hither, stranger as I am, His broken promise, and to give this napkin, To tell this story, that you might excuse Dy'd in this blood, unto the shepherd youth That he in sport doth call his Rosalind. Cel. Why, how now, Ganymede? sweet Ganymede? [ROSALIND faints. Oli. Many will swoon when they do look on blood Cel. There is more in it:-Cousin-Ganymede Oli. Look, he recovers. Ros. I would, I were at home. I pray you, will you take him by the arm? Ros. I do so, I confess it. Ah, Sir, a body would think this was well counterfeited: I pray you, tell your brother how well I counterfeited.-Heigh ho! Oli. This was not counterfeit; there is too great testimony in your complexion, that it was a passion of earnest. Ros. Counterfeit, I assure you. Oli. Well then, take a good heart, and counterfeit to be a man. Ros. So I do: but, i'faith I should have been a woman by right. Cel. Come, you look paler and paler; pray you, draw homewards :-Good Sir, go with us. Oli. That will I, for I must bear answer How you excuse my brother, Rosalind. [back Enter CORIN. Ros. I shall devise something: But, I pray you, commend my counterfeiting to him:Will you go? ACT V. SCENE I.-The same. [Exeunt. Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY. Touch. We shall find a time, Audrey; patience, gentle Audrey. Aud. Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman's saying. Touch. A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you. Aud. Ay, I know who 'tis, he that hath no interest in me in the world: here comes the man you mean. Enter WILLIAM. Touch. It is meat and drink to me to see a clown: By my troth, we that have good wits, have much to answer for; we shall be flouting; we cannot hold. Will. Good even, Audrey. Aud. God ye good even, William. Will. And good even to you, Sir. Touch. Good even, gentle friend: Cover thy head, cover thy head; nay, pr'ythee, be covered. How old are you, friend? Will. Five and twenty, Sir. Touch. A ripe age: Is thy name, William ? Touch. A fair name: Wast born i'the forest here? Will. Ay, Sir, I thank God. Cor. Our master and mistress seek you; come, away, away. Touch. Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey ;-I attend, I attend. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-The same. Enter ORLANDO and OLIVER. Orl. Is't possible, that on so little acquaintance you should like her? that, but seeing, you should love her? and, loving, woo? and, wooing, she should grant? and will you persévere to enjoy her? Oli. Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing, nor her sudden consenting; but say with me, I love Aliena; say with her, that she loves me; consent with both, that we may enjoy each other: it shall be to your good; for my father's house, and all the revenue that was old Sir Rowland's, will I estate upon you, and here live and die a shepherd. Enter ROSALIND. Orl. You have my consent. Let your wedding be to-morrow: thither will I invite the duke, and all his contented followers: Go you, and prepare Aliena; for, look you, here comes my Rosalind. Ros. God save you, brother. Ros. O, my dear Orlando, how it grieves Ros. I thought, thy heart had been wounded Touch. Thank God;-a good answer: Art with the claws of a lion. rich? Will. 'Faith, Sir, so, so. Touch. So, so, is good, very good, very excellent good:-and yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise? Will. Ay, Sir, I have a pretty wit. Touch. Why, thou say'st well. I do now remember a saying; The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth; meaning thereby, that grapes were made to eat, and lips to open. You do love this maid? Will. I do, Sir. Touch. Give me your hand: Art thou learned? Touch. Then learn this of me; To have, is to have: For it is a figure in rhetoric, that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other: For all your writers do consent, that ipse is he; now you are not ipse, for I am he. Will. Which he, Sir? Touch. He, Sir. that must marry this woman: Therefore, you clown, abandon,-which is in the vulgar, leave,-the society, which in the boorish is, company, of this female,-which in the common is, woman,-which together is, abandon the society of this female; or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o'er-run thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways; therefore tremble, and depart. Aud. Do, good William. Orl. Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady. Ros. Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to swoon, when he showed me your handkerchief? Orl. Ay, and greater wonders than that. Ros. O, I know where you are:-Nay, 'tis true: there was never any thing so sudden, but the fight of two rams, and Cæsar's thrasonical brag of I came, saw, and overcame: For your brother and my sister no sooner met, but they looked; no sooner looked, but they loved; no sooner loved, but they sighed; no sooner sighed, but they asked one another the reason; no sooner knew the reason, but they sought the remedy: and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage, which they will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent before marriage: they are in the very wrath of love, and they will together; clubs cannot part them. Orl. They shall be married to-morrow; and I will bid the duke to the nuptial. But, 0, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes! By so much the more shall I to-morrow be at the height of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall think my brother happy, in having what he wishes for. Ros. Why then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn for Rosalind? Orl. I can live no longer by thinking. Ros. I will weary you no longer then with idle talking. Know of me then, (for now I speak to some purpose,) that I know you are a gentleman of good conceit: I speak not this, that you should bear a good opinion of my knowledge, insomuch, I say, I know you are; neither do I labour for a greater esteem than [Exit. may in some little measure draw a belief from Sil. I'll not fail, if I live. Orl. Nor I. SCENE III.-The same. you, to do yourself good, and not to grace me. Orl. Speakest thou in sober meanings? Enter SILVIUS and PHEBE. Look, here comes a lover of mine, and a lover of hers. Phe. Youth, you have done me much ungentleness, To show the letter that I writ to you. Ros. I care not, if I have: it is my study, Sil. It is to be all made of sighs and tears;- Phe. And I for Ganymede. Orl. And I for Rosalind. Ros. And I for no woman. Sil. It is to be all made of faith and ser And so am I for Phebe. Phe. And I for Ganymede. Orl. And I for Rosalind. Ros. And I for no woman. Sil. It is to be all made of fantasy, [vice ; All made of passion, and all made of wishes; All humbleness, all patience, and impatience, Phe. And so am I for Ganymede. Phe. If this be so, why blame you me to love Ros. Who do you speak to, why blame you Orl. To her, that is not here, nor doth not hear. Ros. Pray you, no more of this; 'tis like the howling of Irish wolves against the moon.-I will help you, To SILVIUS] if I can:-I would love you, To PHEBE] if I could.-To-morrow meet me all together.-I will marry you, [To PHEBE] if ever I marry woman, and I'll be married to-morrow:-I will satisfy you, [To ORLANDO] if ever I satisfied man, and you shall be married to-morrow:-I will content you, [To SILVIUS] if what pleases you contents you, and you shall be married to-morrow. As you, To ORLANDO] love Rosalind, meet;-as you, To SILVIUS] love Phebe, meet; And as I love no woman, I'll meet. So fare you well; I have left you commands. * Invite. [Exeunt. Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY. Touch. To-morrow is the joyful day, Aud Aud. I do desire it with all my heart: and I hope it is no dishonest desire, to desire to be a woman of the world. Here comes two of the banished duke's pages. Enter two PAGES. 1 Page. Well met, honest gentleman. Touch. By my troth, well met: Come, sit, sit, and a song. 2 Page. We are for you: sit i'the middle. 1 Page. Shall we clap into't roundly, without hawking, or spitting, or saying we are hoarse; which are the only prologues to a bad voice? 2 Page. I'faith, i'faith; and both in a tune, like two gipsies on a horse. SONG. I. It was a lover, and his lass, With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino, In the spring time, the only pretty rank time, II. In spring time, &c. Touch. Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no greater matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untunable. 1 Page. You are deceived, Sir; we kept time, we lost not our time. Touch. By my troth, yes; I count it but time lost to hear such a foolish song. God be with you; and God mend your voices! Come, Aud[Exeunt. rey. SCENE IV.-Another part of the Forest. Enter DUKE, senior, Amiens, Jaques, OrlanDO, OLIVER, and CELIA. Duke S. Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the Can do all this that he hath promised? [boy Orl. I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not; As [fear. those that fear they hope, and know they Enter ROSALIND, SILVIUS, and PHEBE. Ros. Patience once more, whiles our compáct is urg'd: You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, [To the DUKE. You will bestow her on Orlando here? * A married woman. Ee Duke S. That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her. Ros. And you say, you will have her, when I bring her? [To ORLANDO. Orl. That would I, were I of all kingdoms king. If I Touch. Upon a lie seven times removed;Bear your body more seeming, Audrey :-as thus, Sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's beard; he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: This is called the Retort courteous. sent him word again, it was not well cut, he Would send me word, he cut it to please himself: This is called the Quip modest. If again, it was not well cut, he disabled my judgement: This is called the Reply churlish. If again, it was not well cut, he would answer, I spake not true: This is called the Reproof valiant. If [To SILVIUS.again, it was not well cut, he would say, I lie: This is called the Countercheck quarrelsome: and so to the Lie circumstantial, and the Lie direct. Jaq. And how oft did you say, his beard was not well cut? Ros. You say, you'll marry me, if I be willing? [To PHEBE. Phe. That will I, should I die the hour after. Ros. But, if you do refuse to marry me, [herd ? You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepPhe. So is the bargain. Ros. You say, that you'll have Phebe, if she will? Sil. Though to have her and death were both one thing. Ros. I have promis'd to make all this matter even. Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter; You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter:- [Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA. Duke S. I do remember in this shepherd-boy "Some lively touches of my daughter's favour. Orl. My lord, the first time that I ever saw him, Methought he was a brother to your daughter: Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY. Jaq. There is, sure, another flood toward, and these couples are coming to the ark! Here comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools. Touch. Salutation and greeting to you all! Jaq. Good my lord, bid him welcome; This is the motley-minded gentleman, that I have so often met in the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears. Touch. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure ;* I have fattered a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth with my enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one. Jaq. And how was that ta'en up? Touch. 'Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause. Jaq. How seventh cause?-Good my lord, like this fellow. Duke S. I like him very well. Touch. God'ild you, Sir; I desire you of the like. I press in here, Sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear, and to forswear; according as marriage binds, and blood breaks:-A poor virgin, Sir, an ill-favoured thing, Sir, but mine own; a poor humour of mine, to take that that no man else will: Rich honesty dwells like a miser, Sir, in a poor-house; as your pearl, in your foul oyster. Duke S. By my faith, he is very swift and sententious. Touch. According to the fool's bolt, Sir, and such dulcet diseases. Jaq. But, for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause? A stately solemn dance. Touch. I durst go no further than the Lie circumstantial, nor he durst not give me the Lie direct; and so we measured swords, and parted. Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie? Touch. O Sir, we quarrel in print, by the book; as you have books for good manners: I will name you the degrees. The first, the Retort courteous; the second, the Quip modest; the third, the Reply churlish; the fourth, the Reproof valiant; the fifth, the Countercheck quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with circumstance; the seventh, the Lie direct. All these you may avoid, but the lie direct; and you may avoid that too, with an If. I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an If, as, If you said so, then I said so; and they shook hands, and swore brothers. Your If is the only peacemaker; much virtue in If. Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as good at any thing, and yet a fool. Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalkinghorse, and under the presentation of that, he shoots his wit. Enter HYMEN, leading ROSALIND in woman's clothes; and CELIA. |