THE DRAMA.

THE PATENT THEATRES

Have introduced to the public nothing sufficiently important to demand, this month, a distinct criticism.

ENGLISH OPERA HOUSE.---MR. MATTHEWS.

THIS extraordinary performer is once more "At Home," and has once more received the calls of his numerous friends. His entertainment for this season is in no way inferior to those which preceded it; that is to say, Mr. Mathews is in no way inferior to himself--it is he that is the entertainment, and not the jokes which are put into his mouth. These we can meet in other places---for him we can find no substitute. His humour---his invincible gravity when every other person is in a roar---his powers of ventriloquism---and, above all, the extraordinary command which he has over his features, are such as will for ever make him a favourite with the public. It is impossible to look at him without a desire to laugh---there is wit in his every feature---the very deformity of his mouth is an embellishment---there is a vivacity even in his spindle legs---and his lameness is a standing joke. The following is a tolerable correct specimen of certain parts of his entertainment; although it must, as a matter of necessity, be taken without the aid of the variety of voice and countenance with which each expression is accompanied---and this aid is perhaps every thing.

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There is a very effective dialogue between Testy, a surly passenger, whose peace and slumbers are destroyed by the incurable vocal propensity of his fellow-traveller, ycleped Quiverton.---Coachman: "You're never behind time, Šir."---Quiverton, singing: Time has not thinn'd my flowing hair."--- The coach is ready, Sir.'---" Hark! the hour of night approaches---Hark! I hear the sound of coaches."--- The coach is ready to go, Sir.' "Go, where glory waits thee."---Testy: I hope that Gemman is not coming for to go to be arter singing all night; I always enjoys a nap in travelling; singing may be very agreeable for the first mile.'---Quiverton: "Twas within a mile of Edinburgh town, in the rosy time of the year."---Testy: Rosy time! I think the vind blows wery vintry.' 'Blow, blow, thou wintry wind."---Testy: This is very unkind of you, Sir.' "Thou art not so unkind."---Testy: I hate singing.' "As man's ingratitude."---Testy Do put up the glasses.' "A glass is good, and a lass is good, and a pipe in very cold weather." -Testy : I have spoken to you five times, Sir." Five times by the taper's light.' Testy : Zounds, Sir, you'll never cease.' Cease, rude Boreas, blustering railer."--- -Testy : 'There's no listening to a thing that's said.' "List, ye landsmen, all to me."---Testy : I can't get no sleep for you, Sir.' "O sleep thee, my darling."---Testy: Can't you down with that voice?" "Down, down, down derry down."---In short, no word that the tormented Mr. Testy can use to stop Mr. Quiverton's singing, does aught but occasion this vocalist a reminiscence of a song, which he pours forth with a sovereign contempt of harmony.

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We have next the character of Mr. Allbut, who is always upon the brink of good fortune, and succeeds in every thing all but a trifle. He was "always happy, almost, but not quite---he was very near making his fortune, only he could not make his title good to an estate---very nearly elected member for Rottenborough, he gained the election all but one vote---his horse Standfast was the very best race-horse in England, only he shied; he was very near gaining the Derby last year, all but half a neck---was very nearly marrying the great heiress, Miss Moneypenny, only she was previously engaged---was very near getting a £20,000 prize, was only short by one number." To all this his friend, a man of few words, is accustomed to listen with profound attention, and to make no replies, but an emphatic "Indeed!” and “You don't say so?" Thus, Old Allbut says, "I was very near finding out the perpetual motion." Indeed!' 1 constructed a clock." You don't say so.' A clock that was to have gone nine years." • Indeed!' 66 Only it stopped at the end of the first year."You don't say so.' I had nearly as good a voice as Mr. Braham." • Indeed!' "Only it broke in my youth." You don't so.' "I found two hundred sovereigns in the street this morning, in a purse." " Only another man, two yards before me, picked it up."You don't say so.' ing, I very nearly lost £5000, by the news from South America."

say

"Indeed!"

Yesterday morn"But it

"Indeed!'

turned out not to be true." 'You don't say so.' "I was within an ace of making my fortune last week, by a capital scheme." 'Indeed!' "But it did not succeed." You don't say so.' The public will imagine the humour that would be given to such a dialogue by Mr. Mathews's change of voice and countenance.

Another scene relates to the bubbles of the day---Anglicè, the Joint Stock Companies, and many of the hits are very good, and are given in Mathews's best style: there is, bowever, too much of it, and some of the jokes are very poor. The first is, the "New London Adonis Hair Cutting Company-- a machine for curling hair, twenty barbers' power, without the aid of steam; steam puts the hair out of curl." This is confessed to be a "hair-brain scheme." Next, there is "A New European, Asiatic, African, American, Antibilious Pill Company---A Bread Company, conducted by persons never bred to any thing---A Milk Company, involving all the pumps in the metropolis and environs---A Mining Company, calculated to undermine every thing---A Company for Boring the Thames, is for boring the whole town." We have now a wily Scotchman, who wants to establish "A New Water Company, and only to raise the small sum of £1,000,000, if he can find an attorney who will be prevailed upon to act for the Society. A Pickle Girkin Company---A London Smoke Company, capital £1,000,000, to supply iron pipes, to supply London smoke to all the watering-places and villages in the United Kingdom---[aside] this is one way to smoke a pipe---A Metropolitan Boring Company, for boring a proposed tunnel to the antipodes: it is proposed to carry passengers and parcels by an easy mode of conveyance (by supplying buckets) to pay a visit to the antipodes, so that any person may dine with a friend at Calcutta, and return in the evening. Ladies and gentlemen are to go down head foremost, and the motion will be so rapid, that they will not know their head from their heels. ---Lord Drowsy, a peer, very rich, veay stupid, and very anxious to be engaged in business, is now introduced to receive the Scotchman's secret plan of a Company to dig for a silver vein on Primrose Hill---the scheme a profound secret---and profits calculated to a fraction ---the capital £1,000,000; no person to take more than five hundred, nor less than one hundred, shares---one pound deposit on every share, and the rest will never be called for---get so much silver that in ten years all Pancras parish will be lighted with silver lamp-posts." The Albion Anti-friction New Nut-Cracker Company had never succeeded since the Colonel left them. A Company for making Boots to carry the wearer one hundred miles a-day. Oh," says Lord Drowsy, you will have to drag the machine after you." • Never mind, my Lord, we will make that a patent cooling-machine.' A Company for M'Adamizing all the roofs and chimneys, which will convert all the inhabitants into martyrs, like St. Stephen, stoning them to death. At this moment an unfortunate subscriber runs in breathless, and attacks Mr. Fleece, the proprietor, with---" Where is my fifty pounds?" What fifty pounds?' "The fifty pounds I paid you for the speculation." I will look in my book for it but, hush! don't make a noise.' "You told me if I put fifty pounds in your hands, you would make a great deal of it." 'Oh, oh, I recollect; the scheme for building a bridge across the New River; that is all over; the Bill was not carried through the House.' "But where is my £50. bill?" 'Oh, that bill was carried through the house.' The last scheme is that of a sinking balloon for raising articles from wrecks. The machine to be made of silk, to keep the water out, and to be covered with nets to keep off the fishes. Suppose, says a subscriber, you are under water too long, what will you do for a bed and supper? Perhaps, says Mr. Fleece, you may light on a bed of oysters; then you'll have a supper and a bed too.

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Now comes an Irish domestic broil between Terence O'Fagan and his wife---“ What's the charge; what's against you, Mr. O'Fagan ?" The iron bar is against me, plase your Honour, and that's all that's against Terence O'Fagan.' Och, plase your Worship (roars Mrs. O'Fagan), he bates me blue, and I was kilt last night by him. Blow your nose, my boy (to her child), to plase his Worship, and spake like a man.' "Will your Worship hear Terence O' Fagan? "Faith she gets no blows at all from Terence, but she gets so drunk that she does not know me from a pump-handle; and she takes two ounces of snuff a-day.” "Och, your Worship (dropping a curtsey), what is two ounces of snuff a-day for a poor cratur that gives suck?" But the difference between Terence O'Fagan and his wife is appeased, and the parties scud home to sin no more.

FINE ARTS.

THE DIORAMA.

THE views at this delightful exhibition have been, within the last month, partly changed: that of the Harbour at Brest has been removed, and in its place we meet with a moonlight view of the Ruins of the Chapel at Holyrood House. The representation of the Cathedral at Chartres still remains, and is as inferior, in merit, to its new companion as it was superior to its former one. The Ruins at Holyrood are admirably adapted to produce the peculiar effect which is the object of this exhibition; and the artist has certainly made the most of his subject. The lights and shadows are managed with considerable skill; and, falling, as they do, upon the mouldering columns and decaying arches, produce an effect which is calculated to deceive the eye of the most acute observer. It is almost impossible to behold the crumbling monuments in this extraordinary painting, without believing them to be tangible realities. The great eastern window is the first object that attracts the beholder's attention; and it is, perhaps, the best specimen in the whole piece, of the remarkable illusion of which we have just spoken. The rising of the moon, the motion of the clouds, and the brilliant twinkling of innumerable stars, give a faithfulness to the scene, of which no one can have the slightest conception, who has not witnessed this truly magical exhibition. The spectral column on the right-hand side of the picture, and the flickering lamp upon its top, shedding "a dim religious light" upon the surrounding objects, considerably heighten the delusion. In the depth of the shadow, is seen the obscure form of a female figure, which appears as motionless as the monument near which it stands. This is, perhaps, a fault, for we are at once convinced that it cannot be a living thing; and to be possessed with such a belief at a time when, as far as the evidence of our senses is concerned, we place such credence in the reality of every other part of the scene, is a sad disturbance of our faith. We may also remark, that the shadows do not move with the same facility as the moon; that is to say, they do not move at all, and the moon does. These are sins for which we recommend the artists to obtain absolution as speedily as possible. On the whole, the Diorama is, by far, the most original and interesting exhibition in the metropolis; the pleasure we derive from it is new---it touches a chord which had never before vibrated in our bosoms---it has all the indefinable charms of some beautiful mystery conjoined with the force and truth of a splendid reality.

PUBLIC EVENTS.

IN the early part of the past month accounts were received from Carthagena of the destruction of the Royalist Army in Peru; the last faint hopes of Spain are, therefore, at an end.

The war in India begins to assume an appearance of both sides being in earnest. Our successes have been rather considerable in number; although a little inferior in importance. We have taken, it appears, as many stockades as would supply half the timber-merchants in this country-our army, at least, will not be at a loss for sufficient materials to make bonfires in celebration of their future victories. On the other hand, it seems, the Burmese have taken nothing, unless it be that they have taken-themselves off. In the early part of November, serious mutiny broke out among the sepoys of the 47th and 62d Regiments, which, we regret to say, was not suppressed without considerable bloodshed. Above a hundred of the mutineers were killed on the scene of their rebellion, and several others were subsequently tried and executed. How all this will end is a problem which cannot be solved until the appearance of Moore's next almanack.

Mr. Martin's bill for the protection of dogs and other unoffending animals has been barked out of the House.

The Chancellor's "Budget" of this year is quite as favourable for the country as its most sanguine friends could have anticipated. The reduction of the duties on wine and spirits has been hailed with a degree of enthusiasm that makes us tremble for the sobriety of the kingdom. The proper check upon the wits which might possibly have accrued from the circumstance is the reduction on the duty on hemp. There was never perhaps, in England, a more popular cabinet than that which has at present the management of public affairs. Every body feels the growing prosFerity of the nation; and every body is loud in praise of the parties by whom that Frosperity has been effected. A few substantial benefits are far better calculated to insure the popularity of ministers than idle declamation. These benefits have been conferred upon the people, and in the people's voice they will find their reward.