A POEM

IN PRAISE OF THE HORNBOOK.

WRITTEN UNDER A FIT OF THE GOUT.

Magni magna patrant, nos non nisi ludicra.....
Podagra hæc otia fecit.

HAIL! ancient Book, most venerable code!
Learning's first cradle, and its last abode !
The huge unnumber'd volumes which we see,
By lazy plagiaries are stol'n from thee.
Yet future times, to thy sufficient store,
Shall ne'er presume to add one letter more.
Thee will I sing, in comely wainscot bound,
And golden verge enclosing thee around;
The faithful horn before, from age to age,
Preserving thy invaluable page;

Behind, thy patron saint in armour shines,
With sword and lance, to guard thy sacred lines :
Beneath his courser's feet the dragon lies
Transfix'd; his blood thy scarlet cover dies;
Th' instructive handle's at the bottom fix'd,
Lest wrangling critics should pervert the text.

Or if to gingerbread thou shalt descend, And liquorish learning to thy babes extend; Or sugar'd plane, o'erspread with beaten gold, Does the sweet treasure of thy letters hold; Thou still shalt be my song-Apollo's choir I scorn t'invoke; Cadmus my verse inspire: 'Twas Cadmus who the first materials brought Of all the learning which has since been taught, Soon made complete! for mortals ne'er shall know More than contain'd of old the Christ-cross row; What masters dictate, or what doctors preach, Wise matrons hence, e'en to our children teach: But as the name of every plant and flower (So common that each peasant knows its power) Physicians in mysterious cant express, T'amuse the patient, and enhance their fees; So from the letters of our native tongue, Put in Greek scrawls, a mystery too is sprung, Schools are erected, puzzling grammars made, And artful men strike out a gainful trade ; Strange characters adorn the learned gate, And heedless youth catch at the shining bait; The pregnant boys the noisy charms declare, And Tau's, and Delta's,1 make their mothers stare; Th' uncommon sounds amaze the vulgar ear, And what's uncommon never costs too dear. Yet in all tongues the Hornbook is the same, Taught by the Grecian master, or the English dame.

1 The Greek letters T, A.

But how shall I thy endless virtues tell,
In which thou dost all other books excel?
No greasy thumbs thy spotless leaf can soil,
Nor crooked dogsears thy smooth corners spoil;
In idle pages no errata stand,

To tell the blunders of the printer's hand:
No fulsome dedication here is writ,

Nor flattering verse, to praise the author's wit:
The margin with no tedious notes is vex'd,

Nor various reading to confound the text:
All parties in thy literal sense agree,
Thou perfect centre of concordancy!
Search we the records of an ancient date,
Or read what modern histories relate,
They all proclaim what wonders have been done
By the plain letters taken as they run:
"Too high the floods of passion us❜d to roll,
And rend the Roman youth's impatient soul;
His hasty anger furnish'd scenes of blood,
And frequent deaths of worthy men ensued:
In vain were all the weaker methods tried,
None could suffice to stem the furious tide,
Thy sacred line he did but once repeat,
And laid the storm, and cool'd the raging heat.” 1
Thy heavenly notes, like angels' music, cheer
Departing souls, and soothe the dying ear.
An aged peasant, on his latest bed,

Wish'd for a friend some godly book to read;

1 The advice given to Augustus, by Athenodorus the stoie philosopher.

The pious grandson thy known handle takes, And (eyes lift up) this savory lecture makes: "Great A," he gravely read; the important sound

The empty walls and hollow roof rebound:

Th' expiring ancient rear'd his drooping head, And thank'd his stars that Hodge had learn'd to

read.

"Great B," the younker bawls: O heavenly breath! What ghostly comforts in the hour of death! What hopes I feel! "Great C," pronounc'd the

boy;

The grandsire dies with ecstasy of joy.

Yet in some lands such ignorance abounds, Whole parishes scarce know thy useful sounds. Of Essex-Hundreds Fame gives this report, But Fame, I ween, says many things in sport. Scarce lives the man to whom thou'rt quite unknown,

Though few th' extent of thy vast empire own. Whatever wonders magic spells can do

On earth, in air, in sea, in shades below;
What words profound and dark wise Mahomet
spoke,

When his old cow an angel's figure took;
What strong enchantments sage Canidia knew,
Or Horace sung, fierce monsters to subdue,
O mighty Book, are all contain'd in you!
All human arts, and every science meet,
Within the limits of thy single sheet:

From thy vast root all learning's branches grow,
And all her streams from thy deep fountain flow.
And, lo! while thus thy wonders I indite,
Inspir'd I feel the power of which I write ;
The gentler gout his former rage forgets,
Less frequent now, and less severe the fits:
Loose grew the chains which bound my useless
feet;

Stiffness and pain from every joint retreat ;
Surprising strength comes every moment on,
I stand, I step, I walk, and now I run.
Here let me cease, my hobbling numbers stop.
And at thy handle1 hand my crutches up.

THERISTES, OR THE LORDLING,

THE GRANDSON OF A BRICKLAYER, GREATGRANDSON OF A BUTCHER.

THERISTES of amphibious breed,
Motley fruit of mongrel seed:
By the dam from lordlings sprung,
By the sire exhal'd from dung:

1 Votiva Tabula. HOR.