When patients chose to die with better will,
Than breathe, and pay th' apothecary's bill;
And, cheaper than for our atfistance call,
Might go to Aix or Bourbon, fpring and fall.
Then priests increas'd, and piety decay'd,
Churchmen the church's purity betray'd,
Their lives and doctrine flaves and atheifts made.
The laws were but the hireling judge's fenfe;
Juries were fway'd by venal evidence.
Fools were promoted to the council-board,
Tools to the bench, and bullies to the fword.
Penfions in private were the fenate's ain;
And patriots for a place abandon'd fame.
But now no influencing art remains,
For Somers has the feal, and Naffau reigns.
And we, in fpite of our refolves, must bow,
And fuffer by a reformation too.
For now late jars our practices detect,
And mines, when once difcover'd, lose effect.
But now late jars our practices detect,
For mines, when once difcover'd, lofe th' effect.
Diffenfions, like fmall ftreams, are first begun,
Scarce feen they rife, but gather as they run.
So lines that from their parallel decline,
More they advance, the more they fill disjoin..
"Tis therefore my advice, in hafte we fend,
And beg the Faculty to be our friend.
As he revolving food to fay the reft,
Rough Colocynthus thus his rage exprest.
Diffenfions, like fmall ftreams, are first begun,
Scarce feen they rife, but gather as they run :
So lines that from their parallel decline,
More they proceed, the more they still disjoin.
'Tis therefore my advice, in hafte we fend,...
And beg the Faculty to be our friend;
Send fwarms of patients, and our quarrels end. 190.
So awful beadles, if the vagrant treat,
Straight turn familiar, and their fafces quit.
In vain we but contend, that planet's power:
Thofe vapours can difperfe it rais'd before.
As he prepar'd the mifchief to recite,
Keen Colocynthus* paus'd, and foam'd with spite.
Sour ferments on his fhining furface swim,
Work up the froth, and bubble o'er the brim:
Not beauties fret fo much if freckles.come,
Cr nose should redden in the drawing-room;
Or lovers that mistake th' appointed hour,
Or in the lucky minute want the power...
Thus he Thou fcandal of great Pæan's art,
At thy approach the springs of nature start,
The nerves unbrace: nay, at the fight of thee,
A fcratch turns cancer, itch a leprofy.
Could't thou propose, that we, the friends of fates,
Who fill churchyards, and who unpeople states,
Who baffle nature, and difpofe of lives,
Whilft Ruffelt, as we please, or starves, or thrives, 210
Dare, an apothecary.
† A celebrated undertaker of funerals.
Should e'er fubmit to their defpotic will,
Who out of confolation fcarce can kill?
The towering Alps shall sooner fink to vales,
And leeches, in our glaffes, fwell to whales;
Or Norwich trade in inftruments of steel,
And Birmingham in ftuffs and druggets deal!
Alleys at Wapping furnish us new modes,
And Monmouth-street; Versailles with riding-hoods !
The Sick to th' hundreds in pale throngs repair,
And change the Gravel-pits for Kentish air!
Our properties muft on our arms depend;
'Tis next to conquer, bravely to defend.
'Tis to the vulgar death too harsh appears;
The ill we feel is only in our fears.
To die, is landing on fome filent shore,
Where billows never break, nor tempefts roar :
Ere well we feel the friendly ftroke, 'tis o'er.
The wife through thought th' insults of death defy;
The fools, through bleft infenfibility.
'Tis what the guilty fear, the pious crave;
Sought by the wretch, and vanquish'd by the brave.
It eafes lovers, fets the captive free;
And, though a tyrant, offers liberty.
Sound but to arms, the foe fhall foon confefs
Our force increases, as our funds grow
And what requir'd fuch industry to raise,
We'll scatter into nothing as we please.
Thus they'll acknowledge, to annihilate
Shews no lefs wondrous power than to create.
We'll raise our numerous cohorts, and oppofe
The feeble forces of our pygmy foes;
Legions of quacks fhall join us on the place,
From great Kirleus down to doctor Case.
Though fuch vile rubbish sink, yet we shall rife;
Directors ftill fecure the greatest prize.
Such poor fupports ferve only like a stay;
The tree once fix'd, its reft is torn away.
So patriots, in time of peace and cafe,
Forget the fury of the late difeafe :
On dangers past serenely think no more,
And curfe the hand that heal'd the wound before.
Arm therefore, gallant friends, 'tis honour's call;
Or let us boldly fight, or bravely fall!
To this the feffion feem'd to give confent,
Much lik'd the war, but dreaded much th' event.
At length, the growing difference to compofe,
Two brothers, nam'd Afcarides *, arofe.
Both had the volubility of tongue,
In meaning faint, but in opinion ftrong.
To fpeak they both affum'd a like pretence;
The elder gain'd his juft pre-eminence.
Thus he 'Tis true, when privilege and right
Are once invaded, honour bids us fight.
But ere we once engage in honour's caufe,
First know what honour is, and whence it was.
Scorn'd by the bafe, 'tis courted by the brave,
The hero's tyrant, and the coward's flave ;
* The Pearces, apothecaries.
Born in the noify camp, it lives on air,
And both exists by hope and by despair;
Angry whene'er a moment's ease we gain,
And reconcil'd at our returns of pain.
It lives, when in death's arms the hero lies:
But when his fafety he confults, it dies.
Bigoted to this idol, we disclaim
Reft, health, and ease, for nothing but a name.
Then let us, to the field before we move,
Know, if the gods our enterprize approve.
Suppofe th' unthinking Faculty unveil
What we, through wifer conduct, would conceal :
Is 't reafon we should quarrel with the glass
That fhews the monftrous features of our face?
Or grant fome grave pretenders have of late
Thought fit an innovation to create;
Soon they'll repent what rafhly they begun :
Though projects pleafe, projectors are undone.
All novelties muft this fuccefs expect,
When good, our envy; and when bad, neglect:
If reafon could direct, ere now each gate
Had borne fome trophy of triumphal ftate;
Temples had told how Greece and Belgia owe
Troy and Namur to Jove and to Naffau.
Then, fince no veneration is allow'd,
Or to the real, or th' appearing good;
The project that we vainly apprehend
Muft, as it blindly rose, as vilely end.
Some members of the Faculty there are,
Who intereft prudently to oaths prefer.
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