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horfe in Smithfield. If I could get me but a wife in the fews, I were mann'd, hors'd, and wiv’d. SCENE V. Enter Chief Justice and Servants. Page. Sir, here comes the Nobleman that committed the Prince for ftriking him, about Bardolph. Fal. Wait clofe, I will not fee him.

Ch. Juft. What's he that

goes there? Serv. Falftaff, an't please your Lordship.

Ch. Juft. He that was in question for the robbery? Serv. He, my Lord. But he hath fince done good service at Shrewsbury; and, as I hear, is now going with fome charge to the Lord John of Lancaster. Ch. Juft. What, to York? call him back again. Serv. Sir John Falstaff!

Fal. Boy, tell him I am deaf.

Page. You must fpeak louder, my mafter is deaf.

Ch. Juft. I am fure he is; to the hearing of any thing good. Go pluck him by the elbow. I muft fpeak with him.

Serv. Sir John!

Fal. What! a young knave and beg! are there not wars? is there not employment? doth not the King lack fubjects? do not the rebels need foldiers? though it be a fhame to be on any fide but one, it is worse shame to beg, than to be on the worst fide, were it worse than the name of rebellion can tell how to make it.

Serv. You mistake me, Sir.

Fal. Why, Sir, did I fay you were an honest man? fetting my knighthood and my foldiership afide, I had lyed in my throat, if I had faid fo.

Serv. I pray you, Sir, then fet your knighthood and your foldierfhip afide, and give me leave to tell you, you lye in your throat, if you fay I am any other than an honeft man.

Fal. I give thee leave to tell me fo? I lay afide that which grows to me? if thou gett't any leave of me, hang me; if thou tak'ft leave, thou wert better be hang'd: you hunt-counter, hence; avaunt.

Serv. Sir, my Lord would fpeak with you.
Ch. Juft Sir John Falstaff, a word with you.
Fal. My good Lord! God give your Lordship good

VOL. IV.

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time of day. I am glad to fee your Lordship abroad; I heard fay your Lordfhip was fick. I hope your Lordship goes abroad by advice. Your Lordship, though not clean past your youth, hath yet fome fmack of age in you, fome relifh of the faltnefs of time; and I moft humbly befeech your Lordship, to have a reverend care of your health.

Ch. Juft. Sir John, I fent for you before your expedition to Shrewfbury,

Fal. If it pleafe your Lordship, I hear his Majefty is return'd with fome difcomfort from Wales.

Ch. Juft. I talk not of his Majesty: you would not come when I fent for you;

Fal. And I hear moroever, his Highness is fallen into this fame whorfon apoplexy.

Ch. Juft. Well, heav'n mend him! I pray, let me fpeak with you.

Fal. This apoplexy is, as I take it, a kind of lethargy, an't pleafe your Lordfhip, a kind of fleeping in the blood, a whorfon tingling.

Ch. Juft. What tell you me of it? be it as it is. Fal. It hath its original from much grief, from ftudy and perturbation of the brain. I have read the caufe of it in Galen. It is a kind of deafnefs.

for

Ch. Juft. I think you are fallen into that disease; you hear not what I fay to you.

Fal. Very well, my Lord, very well; rather, an't please you, it is the disease of not lift'ning, the malady of not marking, that I am troubled withal.

Ch. Juft. To punifh you by the heels, would amend the attention of your ears; and I care not if I do become your phyfician.

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Fal. I am as poor as job, my Lord, but not fo tient your Lordship may minifter the potion of imprisonment to me, in refpect of poverty; but how f fhould be your patient to follow your prefcriptions, the wife may make fome dram of a fcruple, or, indeed, a fcruple itfelf.

Ch. Juft. I fent for you, when there were matters against you for your life, to come fpeak with me. Fal. As I was then advis'd by my counfel learned in the laws of this land-fervice, I did not come.

Ch. Juft.

Ch. Juft. Well, the truth is, Sir John, you live in great infamy.

Fal. He that buckles him in my belt, cannot live in lefs.

Ch. Juft. Your means are very flender, and your wafte is great.

Fal. I would it were otherwife: I would my means were greater, and my waste flenderer.

Ch. Juft. You have misled the youthful Prince. Fal. The young Prince hath misled me. I am the fellow with the great belly, and he my dog.

Ch. Fuft. Well, I'm loth to gall a new-heal'd wound; your day's fervice at Shrewbury hath a little gilded o ver your night's exploit on Gads-hill. You may thank the unquiet time, for your quiet o'er-pofting that action. Fal. My Lord?

Ch. Juft. But fince all is well, keep it fo, wake not a fleeping wolf.

Fal. To wake a wolf, is as bad as to fiell a fox. Ch. Juft. What? you are as a candle, the better part burnt out.

Fal. A waffel candle, my Lord; all tallow: but if I did fay of wax, my growth would approve the truth. Ch. Juft. There is not a white hair on your face, but fhould have his effect of gravity.

Fal. His effect of gravy, gravy, gravy.

Ch. Fuft. You follow the young prince up and down like his ill angel.

Fal. Not fo, my Lord, your ill angel is light: but I hope he that looks upon me, will take me without weighing; and yet, in fome refpe&s, I grant I cannot go.I cannot tell. Virtue is of fo little regard in thefe colter-mongers' days, that true valour is turned bear-herd. Pregnancy is made a tapiter, and hath his quick wit wafted in giving reckonings all the other gifts appertinent to man, as the malice of this age fhapes them, are not worth a goofeberry. You that are old, confider not the capacities of us that are young; you measure the heat of our livers, with the bitterness of your galls; and we that are in the va-ward of our youth, I must confefs are wags too.

Ch. Juft. Do you fet down your name in the fcrowl of youth,

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youth, that are written down old, with all the characters of age Have you not a moist eye? a dry hand? a yellow cheek a white beard? a decreafing leg? an increafing belly is not your voice broken? your wind fhort? your chin double? your wit fingle? and every part about you blasted with antiquity? and will you yet call yourself young? Fie, fie, fie, Sir John

Fal. "My Lord, I was born about three of the clock "in the afternoon, with a white head, and fomething "a round belly. For my voice, I have loft it with hallowing and finging of anthems. To approve my youth further, I will not. The truth is, I am only old in judgment and understanding; and he that will caper with me for a thousand marks, let him lend me the money, and have at him. For the box o' th' ear that the Prince gave you, he gave it like a rude prince, and you took it like a fenfible lord. I have check'd him for it; and the young lion repents: marry, not in afhes and fackcloth, but in new filk and old fack.

Ch. Juft. Well, Heav'n fend the Prince a better companion!

Fal. Heav'n fend the companion a better Prince! I cannot rid my hands of him.

Ch. Juft. Well, the King hath fever'd you and Prince Harry. I hear you are going with Lord John of Lancaster, against the Archbishop and the Earl of Northumberland.

Fal. Yes, I thank your pretty fweet wit for it: but look you, pray, all you that kifs my Lady Peace at home, that our armies join not in a hot day: for, by the Lord, I take but two fhirts out with me, and I mean not to sweat extraordinarily: if it be a hot day, if I brandifh any thing but a bottle, would I might ne ver fpit white again. There is not a dangerous action can peep out his head, but I am thruft upon it. Well, I cannot laft ever." But it was always yet the trick "of our English nation, if they have a good thing, to "make it too common. If ye will needs fay I am an old man, you should give me reft. I would to God, my name were not fo terrible to the enemy as it is! I were better to be eaten to death with a ruft, than to be fcour'd to nothing with perpetual motion.

Cb. Juft.

Ch. Juft. Well, be honest, be honeft, and Heav'n blefs your expedition?

Fal. Will your Lordship lend me a thousand pound to furnifh me forth?

Ch. Juft. Not a penny, not a penny; you are too impatient to bear croffes. Fare you well. Commend me to my coufin Weftmorland.

[Exit.

Fal. If I do, fillip me with a three-man beetle * A man can no more feparate age and covetoufnefs, than he can part young limbs and letchery: but the gout galls the one, and the pox pinches the other, and fo both the degrees prevent my curfes. Boy,—. Page. Sir?

Fal. What money is in my purse?

Page. Seven groats and two pence.

Fal. I can get no remedy against this confumption of the purfe. Borrowing only lingers and lingers it out, but the difeafe is incurable. Go bear this letter to my Lord of Lancaster, this to the Prince, this to the Earl of Westmorland, and this to oid Mrs. Urfula, whom I have weekly fworn to marry fince I perceived the first white hair on my chin. About it; you know where to find me. A pox of this gout! or, a gout of this pox! for the one, or t'other, plays the rogue with my great toe: it is no matter, if I do halt, I have the wars for my colour, and my penfion fhall feem the more reafonable: a good wit will make use of any thing; I will turn difeafes to commodity. [Exeunt.

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Changes to the Archbishop of York's palace. Enter Archbishop of York, Haftings, Thomas Mowbray (Earl Marshal), and Lord Bardolph.

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York. Thus have you heard our cause, and know our Now, my most noble friends, I pray you all, Speak plainly your opinions of our hopes; And firft, Lord Marthal, what fay you to it? Mowb. I well aliow th' occafion of our arms,

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