Computes, that half a parish dues

Will hardly find his wife in fhoes.

Canft thou imagine, dull Divine,

"Twill gain her love, to make her fine?
Hath fhe no other wants befide?
You raise defire as well as pride;
Enticing coxcombs to adore,
And teach her to defpife thee more.
If in her coach the 'll condefcend
To place him at the hinder end,
Her hoop is hoift above his nofe,
His odious gown would foil her cloaths,
And drops him at the church, to pray,
While the drives on to fee the play.
He, like an orderly Divine,
Comes home a quarter after nine,
And meets her hafting to the ball:
Her chairmen pufh him from the wall.
He enters in, and walks up ftairs,
And calls the family to prayers;
Then goes alone to take his reft
In bed, where he can spare her beft.
At five the footmen make a din,
Her Ladyfhip is just come in;
The mafquerade began at two,
She ftole away with much ado;
And fhall be chid this afternoon,
For leaving company fo foon:
She 'll fay, and the may truly fay 't,
She can't abide to stay out late.

But now, though scarce a twelvemonth marry'd, Poor Lady Jane has thrice mifearry'd:

The cause, alas, is quickly gueft;

The town has whisper'd round the jest.
Think on fome remedy in time,
You find his Reverence paft his prime,
Already dwindled to a lath;

No other way but try the Bath.

For Venus, rifing from the ocean,
Infus'd a strong prolific potion,
That mix'd with Acheloüs' spring,
The borned flood, as poets fing,
Who, with an English beauty fmitten,
Ran under-ground from Greece to Britain;
The genial virtue with him brought,
And gave the Nymph a plenteous draught;
Then fled, and left his horn behind,
For husbands paft their youth to find :
The Nymph, who still with paffion burn'd,
Was to a boiling fountain turn'd,
Where childless wives croud every morn,
To drink in Acheloüs' horn.

And here the father often gains

That title by another's pains..

Hither, though much against the grain,

The Dean has carry'd Lady Jane.
He, for a while, would not confent,
But vow'd his money all was fpent:
His money spent! a clownish reafon !
And must my Lady flip her feafon?

The

The Doctor, with a double fee,

Was brib'd to make the Dean agree.

Here all diverfions of the place
Are proper in my Lady's cafe :
With which the patiently complies,
Merely because her friends advise;
His money and her time employs
In mufick, raffling-rooms, and toys;
Or in the Crofs-bath feeks an heir,
Since others oft' have found one there:
Where if the Dean by chance appears,
It fhames his caffock and his years.
He keeps his distance in the gallery,
Till banish'd by fome coxcomb's raillery ;
For 'twould his character expose
To bathe among the belles and beaux.
So have I feen, within a pen,.
Young ducklings fofter'd by a hen ;

But, when let out, they run and muddle,.
As inftin&t leads them, in a puddle:
The fober hen, not born to swim,

With mournful, note clucks round the brim.

The Dean, with all his bett endeavour,

Gets not an heir, but gets a fever,

A victim to the laft eflays

Of vigour in declining days,,

He dies, and leaves his mourning mate
(What could he lefs ?), his whole estate.
The widow goes through all her forms:
New levers now will come in fwarms.

Oh, may I fee her foon difpenfing
Her favours to fome broken enfign 1.
Him let her marry, for his face,
And only coat of tarnish'd lace;

To turn her naked out of doors,
And fpend her jointure on his whores;
But, for a parting prefent, leave her
A rooted pox to last for ever!

OUR brethren of England, who love us fo dear,

And in all they do for us fo kindly do mean, (A bleffing upon them!) have fent us this year For the good of our church, a true English Dean. A holier priest ne'er was wrapt up in crape, The worft you can fay, he committed a rape.

II.

In his journey to Dublin, he lighted at Chefter,

And there he grew fond of another man's wife; Burft into her chamber, and would have carefs'd her But the valued her honour much more than her life. She bustled and struggled, and made her escape To a room full of guests, for fear of a rape.

* Sawbridge, Dean of Fernes. F.

III. The

III.

The Dean he purfued, to recover his game;

And now to attack her again he prepares :
But the company food in defence of the dame,
They cudgel'd, and cuft him, and kick'd him down
ftairs.

His Deanship was now in a damnable scrape,'
And this was no time for committing a rape.

IV.

To Dublin he comes, to the bagnio he goes,
And orders the landlord to bring him a whore;
No fcruple came on him his gown to expose,

'Twas what all his life he had practis'd before. He had made himself drunk with the juice of the grape, And got a good clap, but committed no rape.

V.

The Dean, and his landlord a jolly comrade,
Refolv'd for a fortnight to fwim in delight ;
For why, they had both been brought up to the trade
Of drinking all day, and of whoring all night.
His landlord was ready his Deanfhip to ape
In every debauch but committing a rape.

VI.

This Proteftant zealot, this English divine,

In church and in ftate was of principles found; Was truer than Steele to the Hanover line,

And griev'd that a Tory fhould live above ground. Shall a fubject fo loyal be hang'd by the nape, For no other crime but committing a rape ?