And fierce against the Whigs harangu'd ?
You never ventur'd to be hang'd.
How dare you treat your betters thus ?
Are you to be compar'd with us?
Come, Spaniard, let us from our farms
Call forth our cottagers to arms;
Our forces let us both unite,
Attack the foe at left and right;
From Market-hill's exalted head,
Full northward let your troops be led ;
While I from Drapier's-mount defcend,
And to the fouth my fquadrons bend.
New-river-walk with friendly fhade
Shall keep my hoft in ambufcade;
While you, from where the bafon stands,
Shall scale the rampart with your bands.
Nor need we doubt the fort to win;
I hold intelligence within.

True, Lady Anne no danger fears,
Brave as the Upton fan fhe wears;
Then, left upon our first attack

Her valiant arm fhould force us back,
And we of all our hopes depriv'd ;
I have a ftratagem contriv'd.
By these embroider'd high-heel'd shoes
She fhall be caught as in a noose;
So well contriv'd her toes to pinch,
She 'll not have power to stir an inch :
Thefe gaudy fhoes muft Hannah place
Direct before her lady's face;

The fhoes put on, our faithful portress
Admits us in, to ftorm the fortrefs;
While tortur'd Madam bound remains,
Like Montezume, in golden chains,
Or like a cat with walnuts fhod,
Stumbling at every step she trod.
Sly hunters thus, in Borneo's ifle,
To catch a monkey by a wile,
The mimic animal amufe;

They place before him gloves and fhoes ;
Which when the brute puts aukward on,
All his agility is gone:

In vain to frisk or climb he tries;
The huntsmen feize the grinning prize.

But let us on our first assault

Secure the larder and the vault :

The valiant Dennis *

you

must fix on,

And I'll engage with Peggy Dixon +:

Then, if we once can feize the key
And cheft, that keeps my lady's tea,
They muft furrender at discretion;
And, foon as we have gain'd poffeffion,
We'll act as other conquerors do,
Divide the realm between us two:
Then (let me fee) we 'll make the Knight
Our clerk, for he can read and write;

But muft not think, I tell him that,

Like Lorimer to wear his hat:

*The butler.

The agent.

The houfe-keeper.

Yet,

Yet, when we dine without a friend,
We'll place him at the lower end.
Madam, whofe fkill does all in dress lie,
May ferve to wait on Mrs. Leflie;
But, left it might not be fo proper
That her own maid fhould over-top her,
To mortify the creature more,

We'll take her heels five inches lower.

For Hannah, when we have no need of her, "Twill be our intereft to get rid of her: And, when we execute our plot, 'Tis beft to hang her on the spot; As all your politicians wife Dispatch the rogues by whom they rife..

Tom. SAY, Robin, what can Traulus mean By bellowing thus against the Dean?

Why does he call him paltry fcribbler,

Papift, and Jacobite, and Libeler;

Yet cannot prove a single fact?

Robin. Forgive him, Tom: his head is crackt.

Lord Allen.

D. S.

N 4

7. What

T. What mischief can the Dean have done him, That Traulus calls for vengeance on him? Why must he sputter, fpawl, and flaver it In vain against the people's favourite? Revile that nation-faving paper,

Which gave the Dean the name of Drapier?

R. Why, Tom, I think the cafe is plain;
Party and spleen have turn'd his brain.
T. Such friendship never man profest,
The Dean was never fo careft;

For Traulus long his rancour nurs'd,
Till, God knows why, at laft it burst.
That clumfy outside of a porter,
How could it thus conceal a courtier ?
R. I own, appearances are bad;
Yet ftill infift the man is mad.

7. Yet many a wretch in Bedlam knows
How to distinguish friends from foes;
And, though perhaps among the rout
He wildly flings his filth about,
He ftill has gratitude and fap'ence,
To fpare the folks that give him ha'pence;
Nor in their eyes at random piffes,
But turns afide like mad Ulyffes :
While Traulus all his ordure scatters
To foul the man he chiefly flatters.
Whence come thefe inconfiftent fits?

R. Why, Tom, the man has loft his wits.

:

T. Agreed and yet, when Towzer snaps

At people's heels with frothy chaps,

Hangs

Hangs down his head, and drops his tail,
To fay he 's mad, will not avail;

The neighbours all cry, "Shoot him dead,
"Hang, drown, or knock him on the head."
So Traulus when he first harangu'd,
I wonder why he was not hang'd;
For of the two, without difpute,
Towzer 's the lefs offenfive brute.

R. Tom, you mistake the matter quite 3.
Your barking curs will feldom bite;

And though you hear him ftut-tut-tut-ter,
He barks as faft as he can utter.
He prates in fpite of all impediment,

While none believes that what he faid he meant ;.

Puts in his finger and his thumb

To grope for words, and out they come.

He calls you rogue; there's nothing in it,

He fawns upon you in a minute:

"Begs leave to rail, but, d-n his blood!
"He only meant it for your good:
"His friendship was exactly tim'd,
"He fhot before your foes were prim'd.
"By this contrivance, Mr. Dean;
"By G! I'll bring you off as clean
Then let him ufe you c'er fo rough,
""Twas all for love," and that 's enough.
But, though he fputter through a feflion,
It never makes the leaft impreffion :

This is the ufual excufe of Traulus, when he abufes you to others without provocation. F.

What