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Provided, to improve the ground,
He will but add two hundred pound;
And, from his endless hoarded store,
To build a houfe, five hundred more.
Sir Arthur too fhall have his will,
And call the manfion Drapier's Hill:
That, when a nation, long enflav'd,
Forgets by whom it once was fav'd;
When none the Drapier's praise fhall fing;
His figns aloft no longer fwing;

His medals and his prints forgotten;
And all his handkerchiefs are rotten;
His famous Letters made wafte-paper;
This hill may keep the name of Drapier;
In spight of envy, flourish ftill,
And Drapier's vie with Cooper's hill.

THE DEAN'S REASONS

FOR NOT BUILDING AT DRAPIER'S HILL.

I WILL not build on yonder mount:

And, fhould you call me to account,

Confulting with myself, I find,

It was no levity of mind.

Whate'er I promis'd or intended,

No fault of mine, the fcheme is ended:

*Medals were caft, many figns hung up, and handkerchiefs made with devices, in honour of the Dean, under the name of M. B. Drapier. F.

VOL. II.

M

Nor

Nor can you tax me as unsteady,
I have a hundred caufes ready:
All rifen fince that flattering time,
When Drapier's-hill appear'd in rhyme. :
I am, as now too late I find,
The greatest cully of mankind :
The lowest boy in Martin's school
May turn and wind me like a fool.
How could I form fo wild a vision,
To feek, in deferts, Fields Elyfian?
To live in fear, fufpicion, variance,
With thieves, fanatics, and barbarians?
But here my Lady will object;
Your Deanship ought to recollect,
That, near the Knight of Gosford plac'd,
Whom you allow a man of taste,
Your intervals of time to spend
With fo converfable a friend,
It would not fignify a pin
Whatever climate you were in.

'Tis true, but what advantage comes To me from all a ufurer's plumbs; Though I fhould fee him twice a day, And am his neighbour crofs the way; If all my rhetoric must fail

To ftrike him for a pot of ale?

Thus, when the learned and the wife Conceal their talents from our eyes, And from deferving friends with-hold Their gifts, as Mifers do their gold;

Their knowledge to themselves confin'd

Is the fame avarice of mind;

Nor makes their conversation better,
Than if they never knew a letter.
Such is the fate of Gosford's Knight,
Who keeps his wifdom out of fight;
Whose uncommunicative heart
Will fearce one precious word impart :
Still rapt in fpeculations deep,
His outward fenfes faft afleep;
Who, while I talk, a fong will hum,
Or, with his fingers, beat the drum,
Beyond the skies tranfports his mind,
And leaves a lifeless corpse behind.

But, as for me, who ne'er could clamber high, To understand Malebranche or Cambray ;

Who fend my mind (as I believe) lefs
Than others do, on errands fleeveless;
Can listen to a tale humdrum,

And with attention read Tom Thumb;
My spirits with my body progging,
Both hand in hand together jogging;
Sunk over head and ears in matter,
Nor can of metaphyfics fmatter;
Am more diverted with a quibble
Than dream of worlds intelligible;
And think all notions too abstracted
Are like the ravings of a crackt head;
What intercourfe of minds can be
Betwixt the Knight fublime and me,

i

M 2

If

If when I talk, as talk I muft,

t is but prating to a bust?
Where friendship is by Fate defign'd,
It forms an union in the mind:
But here I differ from the Knight
In every point, like black and white :
For none can fay that ever yet
We both in one opinion met:
Not in philofophy, or ale;
In ftate-affairs, or planting cale;
In rhetoric, or picking straws;
In roafting larks, or making laws;
In public fchemes, or catching flies;
In parliaments, or pudding-pies.

The neighbours wonder why the Knight
Should in a country life delight,
Who not one pleasure entertains
To chear the folitary scenes:
His guests are few, his vifits rare;
Nor uses time, nor time will fpare;

Nor rides, nor walks, nor hunts, nor fowls,
Nor plays at cards, or dice, or bowls;
But, feated in an easy chair,

Defpifes exercife and air.

His rural walks he ne'er adorns ;
Here poor Pomona fits on thorns :
And there neglected Flora fettles
Her bum upon a bed of nettles.
Thofe thanklefs and officious cares
I us'd to take in friends affairs,"

Frona

From which I never could refrain,
And have been often chid in vain :
From these I am recover'd quite,
At least in what regards the Knight.
Preferve his health, his ftore increase;
May nothing interrupt his peace!
But now let all his tenants round
First milk his cows, and after, pound:
Let every cottager confpire

To cut his hedges down for fire:
The naughty boys about the village
His crabs and floes may freely pillage :
He still may keep a pack of knaves
To spoil his work, and work by halves :
His meadows may be dug by swine,

It fhall be no concern of mine.

For why fhould I continue ftill

To serve a friend against his will?

A PANEGYRICK ON THE DEAN, In the PERSON of a LADY in the NORTH *. 1730.

RESOLVD my gratitude to show,

Thrice reverend Dean, for all I owe,

Too long I have my thanks delay'd;
Your favours left too long unpaid;
But now, in all our fex's name,
My artless Muse shall fing your fame.

* The lady of Sir Arthur Achefon.

M 3

Indulgent

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