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Me to the precincts of the place,
That antique hallowed pile to grace,
From native woods, in days of yore,
The fathers of the hamlet bore:
Foster'd by superstition's hand,
A late memorial now I stand.

My spreading shade, extending wide,
The village wonder-and its pride,
1 mark'd as years revolv'd, the blow
That laid thy hardiest grandsire's low.
Now worn with all-consuming age,-
I yield to Time's relentless rage.

Nor fondly blame, with strain severe,
The simple zeal that plac'd me here,
Nor dare thy fathers to despise,
And deem their upstart sons more wise:
Let self-conviction check thy pride-
To error both too near allied.

Of zeal's unletter'd warmth possest,
Yet still. Religion fir'd their breast;
Frequent the hallow'd court to tread,
Where Mercy hears Repentance plead,—
Constant the grateful hymn to raise,
Our Zion echoed with their praise.
Their sous-superior knowledge boast!
Knowledge how vain! since zeal is lost.
Now gradual, as my branches pine,
I see Devotion's flame decline.
And while, like me, Religion wanes,
Alas! her vestige scarce remains.

(Written for the Iris.)

A WEEK IN LONDON.

(Continued from our last.)

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to mark out its intended grandeur, but it re-
mained for George the Third to complete its
beauty. There was a party waiting at the gates
on our arrival, and aniongst the rest, a French
Nobleman with a Cross of Honour on his
breast. We were shewn through a variety of
spacious apartments, till we came to the Beauty
Room, so designated from having the favourites
of Henry the Eighth in miniature;-they are,
indeed, justly praised, and if they bear any re-
semblance to the originals, do justice to the
taste of that amorous, but cruel monarch. All
the rooms we passed through were boarded with
polished oak, and bass matting to the communi-
cating apartments, his Majesty having a strong
objection to carpets; but every place had a time
piece, and most of them a marble bust of the
Princess Charlotte.

The ceilings of many of the rooms are beau-
tifully painted, and the King's fondness of the
arts is most conspicuous throughout these noble
apartments.

We now came to a large mahogany folding door-our guide made a pause and listenedReader! the mightiest Monarch in the world, was here, pacing in irregular steps, wrapt up in sad but happy insanity, "ever and anon" he touched the chords of his piano, then resumed his walk; his beard we understood was of venerable whiteness, flowing down to his chest ;we saw his favourite dish, the leg of mutton, come in, and our guide paid a tribute to the excellence of his appetite. Our French companion manifested his sense of the unhappy condition of the British Monarch, for he could not withhold the tributary tear. "He believes," said the guide, "he is always in the company of Angels"-happy idea!-we hope that his imagination is realized.

This day was marked out for a journey to Windsor, the Castle of which, independent of its antiquity, was then the mournful residence of the best of Kings; we departed at an early We were next conducted to a large room with hour, and passed through Brentford, and Houn- a magnificent table in the centre; at each end slow, the Heath of which is notorious for its were laid two flags, by the replacing of which robberies and murders: at a small village we annually, two noble Dukes preserve their titles took up his Majesty's bread, carefully packed those of Marlborough and Wellington, the in tin cases, and which having always had latter had only recently been placed there, and predilection for in the days of his vigour, had the French nobleman exclaimed, with a shrug, been furnished him up to that hour, as, through"Ah! le Duc de Vellington! The Royal Bedboth mental and bodily darkness, he could dis- chamber is adjoining this, and is remarkable criminate between that and other. for the gorgeous tapestry of the curtains; it is On our arrival, and previously to an inspec- the manufacture of ancient days, and not to be tion of the Castle, which, it should be remarked,equalled now. There are some lovely pictures for many miles has a grand and imposing ap- in this, as in all the rooms, but the Arms of pearance, with the royal standard waving from England, in marble, by a youthful sculptor, the round tower, we heard at the Inn many snatched from oblivion by the King, cannot fail interesting anecdotes of our good old King," to arrest the attention, and was presented as a and had a personal narrative of his benevolence, grateful tribute to his Royal benefactor. The from an actual dependant on his bounty. His Terrace is a noble walk, higher than the lofty eccentricities were mixed up with his general trees which encompass it, and from hence are character, nay, his very foibles were proverbial; clearly seen the "antique towers" of Eton Colbut there was but one opinion amongst all, even lege; this is an interesting object, having been his enemies, (if he had any) as to his meek fostered by every succeeding Monarch, but by and generous nature. To this place he has none more than his late, and present Majesty. often been known to come on foot from the The view from hence comprises many counties, Castle, at the early hour of five-on one of and is, without exception, the most enchanting these occasions, he overheard his own servants prospect I ever saw-the vale of Clwyd not of the stables disputing about the payment of excepting. As we repassed through the apartsome gin, which they had that morning been ments, the remains of some milk were in a indulging in, and giving the landlord the bowl of silver gilt, that his Majesty had just amount, said, "tell them the King has settled been partaking of, and which I could not retheir dispute, but if they attended to their du- sist drinking to his health, for the affection ties as he does, and abstained from such prac- I bore to his amiable character. We were now tices, they might live to be as old as he is." A ushered into a spacious court-yard, and the diftear stood in the eye of the worthy man as he ferent residences of the Royal family were desrelated it, and communicated itself by sympa-cribed to us, without a permission to enter thy to that of his wife. A visitor to this place will pause some time before he enters the Castle-there is much to command his silent admi. ration. It belonged to William the Conqueror

them, and were thence conducted to St. George's
Chapel. This magnificent piece of architecture
has improved under the hands of many succes-
sive monarchs, and the entrance to it stamps

the mind with a religious awe. There are here many splendid monuments, but one tearfully struck us, if I may be allowed to manufacture an expression, which serves to illustrate the heart of that " 1 good old man" on a subject that terminated in the subversion of his reason. It is a simple slab of white marble bordered with black, and bears this inscription—

To the Memory of

For fifteen years the faithful Servant of Her Royal Highness the Princess Amelia,

And who died three days after her. Erected by the command of His Majesty King George the Third.

Could any thing speak more for the love of a daughter, the feelings of a father, or the regard for a domestic? for myself every other monument sunk into insignificance in the contemplation of so much virtue-such amiable condes cension. I cannot quit his memory hastily, and at least be allowed to quote from myself "Our sighs suppart thy bier,

I

may

And thy best epitaph s-every Britain's Tear."

The stained glass window is an object of great and were singularly preserved during the Revocuriosity; the colours are superlatively fine,

lution.

But while gazing on this, we were reminded on what we were standing-the entrance to the sepulchre of the Princess Charlotte. I must again tear a leaf out of my own book; for we lustrious Pitt, Fox, and Nelson, and now we had already trodden upon the graves of the ilwere standing on the consecrated sepulchre of the Heiress to the British Throne!

"Lo! the Divine, in deep reflection, cries,
Whilst inspiration moves his sacred tongue,
Earth's highest title ends in,- Here he lies,'
And Dust to Dust' proclaims his noblest song."

This sepulchre is shelved all round, and of late
has received many illustrious tenants; it was a
mausoleum suggested by his late Majesty, and
throughout superintended by him-when fi-
uished he took a survey of it, and placing his
cane on the shelf which was to be appropriated
to his own coffin, said "Here I shall lie, and I
do not think I shall be the worst man that will
be buried here." The fret work is very exqui-
sitely carved, and the banners of the Knights of
the Bath add a solemnity to the whole. The
organ is a very superior instrument, and has
often been the solace of our lamented Monarch,
who was by no means an indifferent performer.

We arrived in London time enough to pay a visit to the King's Bench, the rules or liberties of which are very extensive, but which are only to be obtained by satisfactory security. This is the place to see real "LIFE IN LONDON," from the pampered voluptuary to the desolate mechanic. It comprehends within its walls, a Green ket-with all the et cetera which would form Market, a Butcher's Market, and a Fish Mar a village. The game of tennis is the chief tion. Visitors to this place should be cautiousamusement here, and is played in high perfecthe traps laid for the unwary are ingenious and multifarious.

OPTICS AND CHARACTERS.

Sanntering down St. James's-street the other day, with little occupation either for mind or body, I met pressions of delight at seeing me, and almost as many with a fashionable friend, who, after a thousand exapologies for having only five minutes to speak to me, begged I would accompany him to a shop close by, where he must positively go without delay; " for," added he, looking at an eye-glass that was suspended round his neck by a chain of exquisite workmanship,

"this glass is absolutely too antique to be endured an hour longer, I must go to Rubergall's immediately and get something that will look a little more comme il faut!" As I knew that my friend only wore the glass for fashion's sake, and not from any defect of vision, I was not a little surprised that he had not rather chosen Hamlet's than Rubergall's, as I thought that the jew eller's would have been a lounge better suited to one of his taste and pursuits than the mathematical recesses of the optician. But I soon found that novelty was the charm that brought the young idler to this abode of science, and that as there was no likelihood of his ever having any other occasion of entering its learned bound, he was glad of the opportunity afforded him by making a trifling purchase, of examining the many wonders of optical inventions, and of wiling away an hour that might otherwise have hung heavily on his hands. I was almost ashamed of the trouble that he delighted in giving, and of the many puerile inquiries he made concerning every article that was exhibited for his inspection; and was really surprised at the number of curious instruments that were spread before him, ere his inquisitive spirit was satisfied.

Being rather apt to carry my thoughts farther than is common, or perhaps useful, I soon began to consider the variety of Glasses that were here displayed, with reference to the characters by whom they would probably be used, and thus in a manner identified these cha

racters with the glasses themselves. Thus, the eyeglass, made more for ornament than use, conveyed to my mind the exact idea of my Friend, who by the oc

casional aid of a convenient shortness of sight, could,

with the most perfect good breeding, pass by a very particular friend, if he were not dressed precisely as a man of fashion ought to be; or if he happened to encounter him at a time when he did not desire his com

pany. The Opera-glass, which in all its infinite varieties was laid before him, reminded me of the Critic,

who can never be satisfied with a mere casual view, and must always inquire into the intrinsic merits of every thing that meets his eye; and, whether in the decorations of a theatre, the painting of a fine picture, or the architecture of a noble building, must always refer the decision of merits to the theory of taste and the rule of art. Microscope, the investigating, the scrutinising, the minute microscope, was the Virtuoso; the shell gatherer, the fossil fancier, the collector of coins; the searcher into the beauties of a Ay's wing, the forceps of a spider, and the eyes of a magnified ant: The Telescope, which, unable to notice the objects that immediately surround it, always turns its light to prospects which distance alone renders worthy of its observation, was the coxcomb Traveller, who, despising his native land, its beauties, and its comforts, is ever wandering into foreign conntries, in search of some

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ment. I almost grew sad as I contemplated the picture who have certainly never yet thought of draw-
of human suffering that I had brought so forcibly being a nymph, a naiad or a grace, or, indeed,
fore my mind's eye" and was sinking into a deep any thing better than a cassandra with a bare
reverie, when a loud laugh from my friend changed the
forehead. Only think how fatal it might be to
current of my thoughts, and I found that he was amus-
ing himself with the grotesque figures of some cleverly expose the wrinkle which a curl would charm-
designed Magic Lantern Glasses, and instantly I flew ingly conceal! Besides, there is another cir-
from the decrepit and peevish old invalid, to the merry
cumstance of which the ladies seem to be very
companion, the wit. the satirist, who turns every thing little aware; I mean the disclosure of their fa-
into a jest, to whom life is a perpetual round of gaiety vourite secret, since there is no fashion by which
and good humour, and who sets every character in the their ages may be so easily discovered. I once
most ridiculous point of view, by the aid of a false knew a single lady who, for many years, passed
light and a little exaggeration.
off for five and twenty; but being resolved, on
an unlucky occasion, to adopt the fashion of
exposing her forehead, she, at the same time
exposed her age. and was obliged ever after to
unconsciously taking the subject into my own
submit to be treated as an old maid,-but I am
hands when I only intended to draw your atten-

THE CLUB.

No. XXXVII.-FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 1823.
To the Members of the Club at the Green Dragon.

GENTLEMEN,—It has afforded me more plea-
sure than I have experienced for some time to
observe that you have resumed your literary
labours. I unite my wishes to those of a great
number of your readers that neither the ill health
of your respectable chairman, nor any other un-
for a considerable period at least, of the benefit
fortunate circumstance, may deprive the public
of your interesting lucubrations.

have come forward to offer you their assistance, You are not to infer that because few persons that, therefore, there are but few who can appreciate the merit of your productions. As I have perhaps had greater opportunities of ascertaining the state of public opinion, permit me to redeem the town from the imputation that it would lie under if it should appear to be insensible of your merits. A very worthy motive to which I can do no more than allude, has probably prevented some of your best friends from relieving your labours by the substitution of their own. But I, gentlemen, am oppressed by but few scruples which are calculated to shew that I have formed a mean estimate of my own powers; and I have, therefore, the vanity to hope that my assistance, which it will be my pride to furnish, will not be altogether unacceptable, though my style, as well as that of not received the unqualified approbation of the some other scribblers of greater notoriety, has Club at the Green Dragon. My vanity, which thing to admire or it might more strongly resemble my friends are pleased to assure me is my printhe Poet, whose excursive fancy ranges with equal fa- cipal defect, was still gratified by your notice; eility over earth, air, and sea. The night Telescope, and because I cannot be persuaded to conceal contrived solely for the votaries of Urania, could be this foible of my nature, a quizzical friend of no other than the Astronomer, who prefers winter to mine told me the other day, that, in this partisuminer, because the nights are longer; to whom day-cular I resembled an interesting young lady of light is tedious and uninteresting, and who hails the rising of the evening star almost as fervently as the Persians worship the sun. The darkened or smoked Glass,

used for looking at the eclipsed sun, I did not at first apply to any character, but, determining that it should

not be omitted, I fancifully converted it into the envious being, who, when a man of talent is under a cloud, will add to the shade by which he is enveloped, because the brightness of his genius has thrown his bumble abilities into deeper obscurity. The Green Glasses, the preservers of the feeble sight, were very like people of weak minds, who must bring every thought and action to their own tone, before they can see or understand them.

My attention was next attracted to a pair of specta cles of a very strong magnifying power; which my companion in bis idle foily chose to try on, when he was told that they were for extreme old age, and he seemed to please hims: If with calculating on the length

of time that would elapse before he should be obliged to have recourse to them. These suggested to me the idea of a captions and querilous Old Age; which, though surrounded by infirmities and afflictions, yet adds to the hoavy load that oppresses it, by aggravating every inconvenience, and enlarging every trifling ail

his acquaintance, who has no weak point in her
appearance except her forehead, and yet is so
very destitute of that native shrewdness which
distinguishes her sex, as to range her hair so as
to have it completely exposed. My friend read
to her in vain the passage in one of your essays
in which you caution your fair readers against
leaving themselves so open to the impertinent
examination of the disciples of Gall and Spurz-
heim, whose scrutiny might be so easily set at
defiance by those graceful curls which might in-
crease the personal charms of a lovely female.
As I am sorry to observe that the fashion in
question is rather general, I hope you will give
the ladies some advice upon the subject. If they
still persist, I fear that France or some other
nation which we have been accustomed to despise
on this account, will, notwithstanding the great
natural advantages in our favour, bear away
from us the palm of beauty. Let me remind
our fair townswomen of a criterion which you
stated in your paper on straight waists, when
you appealed to the high authority of the artists,

tion to it.

You sometime ago made your readers a promise which I regret that you have so long delayed to perform. It was your intention you stated to give some further account of the different clubs which had been visited by the member whose adventures are related in your third which clubs of every kind are generally formed, number. As this is a season of the year at some observations on the subject from the Green giving a direction to public mind. The CardDragon might be productive of good effects, in Clubs, which have, I am assured, already become very numerous, deserves your reprehension in particular; for they not only engender angry passions and other injurious excitements; they not only cause discord among the best friends, and promote private scandal; but, if I ter so organized by designing persons, and caram not greatly misinformed, they were last winried to so great an extent, especially among the fair sex, as to occasion much precuniary inconvenience to individuals and in some cases to whole families. It has even been whispered that Mrs.

who, during the last winter, played at cards oftener, it is suspected, than she did any thing better, was obliged to use paint to conceal the feelings which would otherwise have been exposed in the altered complexion of her once sweet and blooming countenance.

Hoping to see your attention very soon directed to this subject and to others by which the public taste may be improved, I remain, Gentlemen, your well wisher and ready assistant, ANTHONY PRUDENT.

A THOUGHT ON DEATH.

By Mrs. Barbauld, written in her 80th year.
When life, as opening buds, is sweet,
And golden hopes the spirit greet,
And youth prepares his joys to meet,—
Alas! how hard it is to die!
When scarce is seix'd some valued prize,
And duties press, and tender ties
Forbid the soul from earth to rise,-
How awful then it is to die!
When, one by one, those ties are torn,
And, friend from friend is snatch'd fordern,
And man is left alone to mourn,-

Ab! then how easy 'tis to die!
When faith is strong, and conscience clear,
And words of peace the spirit cheer,
And visioned glories belf appear,-

'Tis joy, 'tis triumph, then to die.
When trembling limbs refuse their weight,
And films, slow-gathering, dim the sight,
And clouds obscure the mental light,-

'Tis Nature's precious boon to die!

GREENWICH HOSPITAL.

(From the Literary Gazette.)

Here I am again.

Fol-de-rol de-rol-lol, fol-de-rol-de-ray. Ha! how are you, Mr. Editor?-here I am again, as stanch an old blade as ever knock'd a cock-maggot out of a king's biscuit, or shook a mosquito by the ears. Aye, aye, you may talk of your Penny-rammers and your Mar-maids in Chancery, your Mix-i-can scenes and Cracker-acts of the Ganges; but what are they to the sights I've seed in my life? This is a comical out-o'the-way world I must needs own, for a man no sooner dowses bis coat than somebody else is ready to put it on, and swear point-blank they have had it ever since it was a jacket. Howsomever that says nothing;here I am again, and if you wants a few more tough yarns from the same winch, I'm your boy. What! did you think I was going to desert? Lord love you, old Jack never was the lad to flinch from his gun or forsake his colours. Let but Humanity beat to quarters and Benevolence take command, I'm on deck in a minate, and clear for action. So you see here I am again-none of your Tom-Coxes-traverse gentry, up one hatchway, down t'other-in every body's mess and nobody's watch. No, no, all fair and square by the lifts and braces, that's poor Jack's plan. None of

tea-for-two and toast-for-six without a friend to share
it. Give me the feeling heart and the helping hand
adorned with the richest of all earthly gems, the
sparkling tear of gratitude; and this puts me in mind
of a circumstance that happened the other day-
There, don't be in a hurry, you gemmen of the press
are so impatient. "Let me gang ma ain gait," as old
Hameish says; that is, hobble along as well as I can.
You forget I've got one leg in the grave, and the other
is longing to be with his mate; but wait a wee, wait a
wee, Mr. Editor, and you shall have it as clear as ink
can make it. Why, d'ye see, an old messmate of mine
got married some years ago, and what then?--why,
he'd a whole troop of children before he could look
round him, and that's poor work upon three farthings a
year, and receive it quarterly-- it made him calculate
his vulgar fractions. Howsomeyer he struggled with
his difficulties, kiss'd his wife, nursed the bairns, and
turned a penny when he could get it. Well, d'ye see,
about six weeks ago he was sitting on the bench a top
of One-tree-hill in the Park, in a lack-a-day-sigh-cal
manner, swinging one leg for pastime, and beating a
tatoo upon the other, occasionally picking his teeth to
clear them of the remains of a chesnut dinner. (By
the bye they're good for nothing this year, and so our
dessert's spoiled.) His last shilling was confounded
restless, and had been driven from pocket to pocket
undergoing fifty examinations to ascertain whether it
was a good-un. He was giving it another twirl in the
air, when a poor ragged Tar ranged up alongside, and
dowsing his truck, supplicated charity. He had not
been accustomed to beg, for his head hung dowu with
shame, without raising his eyes to the person he im-
plored; and he was actually wearing round to sheer
off without having his petition answered, when my
messmate sprung up, grasp'd his hand-" What, John-
son, my worthy old soul, come to this!" Aye, aye,
Mr. T,(said the veteran,) needs must when the old-
un drives; and I'm sure, of all the foul fiends hunger's
the worst. But what's the use of distressing you with
my complaints? I know you've a generous heart, and
'twill only make you more unhappy, 'cause you can't
relieve them. Heaven knows half-pay's little enough
for a wife and family, for I hears you're married.'-
"Why aye, Johnson, I have a family, and they are so
dear to my heart that I wouldn't part with one of them
to be made Lord High Admiral, though I confess I'm
often obliged to sail c'ose-haul'd to get 'em a meal.
However they will dine heart to-day, God bless 'em!
and so, my old boy, you shall share all I have in the
world; and for to-morrow-why aye-to-morrow--no
matter, Providence will never see that man wreck'd
upon a lee shore that takes in a tow an old shipmate in
distress; so come along, Johnson-remember There's
a sweet little cherub that sits up aloft.' Come along,
my old worth,-a crust of bread and cheese, and a
glass of glog to the King, will bowse all taut and get

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the

"We're in for it now, 'tis a folly boys,
To be down-hearted, yo-ho!"

ns in good sailing trim." And away they started for, iron, and his uniform coat and waistcoat dangled from
the town. -For several weeks after this, poor T- the same peg with an old warming-pan-
got lower and lower, and his half-pay was spent. Re-
duced to the greatest straits, in hourly expectation of
being ejected from his lodgings for rent, his heart was
fill'd with bitterness. A few days ago, having failed
But observing the Lieutenant enter, his song ceased.
What cheer what cheer? Glad to see you. What,
in an effort to procure a supply, he returned home half
distracted. His wife sat, in calm dejection, with an
are you come to dine with me?" No, Sir, (replied
infant cradled in her arms that vainly sought for nou-
E, scarcely able to refrain from a roat of laughter,)
rishment, but not a tear, not a sigh, not a look escaped No, Sir; I come with the Admiral's orders for you to
go on board." What, and leave the goose "-
to wound the susceptible mind of her husband: the
arrow rankled within, but the little innocents around
Come, come, Mr. C-, be serions; there's the signal
for sailing at the mast-head, and the fleet are orde d
were crying for food. Oh what a scene was this for a
to sea directly.'- "Well, tell them to wait till the
parent! Almighty Ruler! (exclaimed T-,) what
have I done to merit thy wrath-why pour out the phi-goose is done." Nonsense! would you skulk ashore
als of indignation on my helpless offspring!" But a
when, perhaps, we may fall in with the enemy, and
look from his partner calm'd the intemperance of the
bring some of them home with us?'-"Why, not alto-
moment, and folding his hands upon his breast, he gether that; but the goose will be spoil'd, for there's
give!-not my will but thine be done!" Sir, you're bear a hand, you have already incurr'd the Admiral's
bowed his head with pious resignation-" Father, for-
not a soul in the house beside myself."Oh never
mind the goose, you'll take that with you. But come,
wanted, (said the landlady of the house, tapping, at displeasure, and surely you wouldn't act ungratefully
the door,) there's the postman with a letter for you.'-
to him who has always behaved so generously to you.'
"I have no money, my love, to pay for it, (said T-
to his wife) what's to be done?"-The postage is
-"Touch my honour, touch my life. No, I'll only
paid, (said the listening landlady ;) I supposes they the mast-head, and then we'll make sail together; but
get a fresh scrape and a paint, clap my rigging over
knew you were down in the mouth.' His heart was
will be burned."-
goose
Confound the goose!
wrung too bitterly to heed this sore hit, and hastening (said E-, stripping off his coat)-Look smart, and
to the door, Be you Mister Squire T-, of the Royal I'll turn the spit till somebody comes;' and down be
Navy? (titter'd the man)-be you the gemman ?' —“ I
suppose that letter is designed for me, (taking it ;) yes,
sat. Away went Billy, having mounted his uniform,
to call the mistress of the house, and get shaved; but
'tis right." He returned to his room. Who is it
scarce had he turned the corner of the street when he
from?' inquired his wife. "I know not, (said he,)
'tis very carefully sealed at both ends; but the writing (said his Lordship,) I understa d your leave of absence
ran full butt against the Admiral. 'Halloo, Mr. C-!
and direction lead me to imagine 'tis from some poor
fellow that needs assistance like myself. Oh that the
is expired: what are you doing ashore ?" I don't
time should ever arrive that I'm debarr'd the satisfac- know, my Lord, I've been very unwell these two days
-confined by a room-a-tism."-Those are idle ex-
tion of succouring a friend in distress! (He pass'd
his hand across his face)-Well, open it and see.'
cuses, Sir. Pray have you seen Mr. E-? Ah, now,
He
unfolded the sheet, when the first thing that was pre- tion and pleasure it would afford me! Billy shrugg'd
if I could see you copy that young man, what satisfac-
sented to his sight was a Five Pound Note. Only his shoulders and laugh'd. What insolence is this,
those who have felt the pinching pangs of poverty, and
Sir! (said his Lordship)--I cannot express my indig
witness'd the wants of those so dear to their hearts,
without a shot in the locker, grasping at the last beam
nation. Tell me directly-Have you seen that gentle-
of expiring hope-only those can tell what the sensa-
man?' laying a particular stress on the last word.
tions are when unexpected, unlook'd-for succour comes.
"Yes, my Lord, (replied Billy,) and so may you if
you go to N°-there," pointing down the street. What
He fell upon his knees-his wife clung round his neck
-the children gather'd round, while he pour'd forth
do you mean, Sir?-your insinuations are base.
his heart in gratitude to Heaven. The letter ran thus:
come, Sir, I'll be satisfied-show me the way;' and
Billy conducted his Lordship to the door. But what
"DR SUR URE ONNER-This kums hoping to find
was the Admiral's surprise and chagrin to see the per-
n well, nd to let a sea the gud tun u did ould Johnson
son he had just been commending busily engaged in
wull niver skip from his hart-fust i kud get-bownd attending the sputtering bird, now almost burnt to a
to Ingee-dont hundestan letter righting-God bless
cinder! His back was towards them, but hearing
OULD JOHNSON."
some one behind, and concluding it was the proprietor
Need I tell you what follow'd? Oh no, you can pic of the rookery-Come along, old Bet, a pretty kettle
ture it yourself. Worthy soul! may he never want a of fish I've made of it!-there's the fleet getting under
friend in this world, and have his name enter'd on the weigh, and old shiver-the-wind will give me a sermon
Book of Life in another and a better. Poor T-! we as long as the main-top bow-line. Here's the goose as
were shipmates together in the flag-ship under Lord brown as a berry, and I've burnt my fingers with the
H-, and that comical dog, Billy C-, was in the ladle.' This was too much for Billy--he roared till his
same mess. Billy was upwards of fifty; and though sides shook. But who can paint the astonishment and
he had bad several commissions, threw them all up, embarrassment of the young Lieutenant, on turning
preferring rather to be honoured as the oldest midship-round and seeing who was present! "Old shiver-the
man in the service, than be pointed at as the youngest
lientenant. He was a great favourite with the Admiral,
to whom he was distantly related. Just after we had
refitted at Plymouth, orders came down for the fleet to
sail. Up went blue Petre, and all hands prepared to
pay their tailors' bills with the fag-end of the fore-top-
sail sheet; for they knew by going to sea in his debt,
he'd never cease praying for a fair wind to bring 'em
home again. Well, d'ye see, Billy was ashore, and
no one could discover where he was stowed; but the
Admiral, unwilling to leave him behind, requested the
Lieutenant on duty to ferret him out and get him
aboard. This was no easy task; and Mr. E-, after
overhauling about fi'ty houses, was returning to make
his report, when passing a door in street, he
heard the well-known voice singing, with great glee-
"Then haul away, pull away, jolly boys,

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wind is greatly obliged to you, Mr. E-, (said his Lordship, bowing and walking off;) and now I shall know in whom to place confidence again. Make baste down to the barge, and wait till I come;" and away be went. "What's the matter, what's the matter, Mr. E- ? (said Billy, almost convulsed with laughter on seeing the young Officer throw himself into the chair in an agony)-What's the matter? Why, the Admiral knows that Spit-head's a naval station, and you are always fond of imitating the philosophers of grease."I'll have satisfaction, Mr C-; this is your doing.' So you shall, so you shall, (spreading a large sheet of brown paper, and packing the goose up in it.) You. put the goose upon me, you know-I clapp'd it upon you-and now we'll go and saddle it upon the Admiral;" and off they set for the boat. Ilis Lordship soon joined them, and the boat shoved off. What, what is this smell, Coxswain?" inquired the Admiral. kit-Tis Mr. E-'s goose, my Lord," said Billy. "How is this that you dare to presume upon my indulgence ?" 14 Indeed, my Lord, I-I-the goose-I-1" replied the stammering Lieutenant. The goose-I-I! (reiterated his Lordship,) what do you mean, Sir?"

At the mercy of fortune we go."
Passing through the outer room and entering the
cheu, there sat Billy very comfortable by the fire, with
one hand turning the spit to his own music, and with
the other basting a fine fat goose that was roasting. His
gold-laced cock'd hat ernamented the handle of a sauce-

pan, bis side-arms bung pendant from the leg of a grid-,

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But Billy, seeing he had run bis cable out to the clinch,

and that the old gentleman began to get serious, made
a thousand apologies, and explained the whole business,
taking the blame to himself, and respectfully entreating
pardon where he had so often obtained it before. But
twas not till the general action fought soon after that
the Admiral was any way reconciled.
How these
balls hiss," said E to Billy, both stationed on the
quarter-deck. 66

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ocean in snowy wreaths along the air. The sky was blacking with huge clouds, that rolled like The lightning burst through the gloom in bright a troubled ocean immediately over our heads. sheets of fire, or quivered in terrible lustre along the dark sky, as though its mighty vault had aye, it puts one in mind of the goose."-" So, (ex- the heavens with a noise as if ten thousand Aye, aye, (retorted Billy)-Aye, been rent in twain. The thunder crashed along claim'd his Lordship, who had overheard it, and turn'd worlds had tumbled together and shivered into short round)-So you can't forget the goose, Mr. C-! ruins. Well, well, baste the French as well as you did the clouds to gaze upon the fight. I saw warriors I turned mine eye from the stormy goose, and I shall he satisfied." A few minutes after-bestriding fiery horses-they rushed over the ward, and the enemy dropt along side. The boarders shrieking bodies of the dying, and mingled their came rushing from their quarters, when Billy snatch'd might in one terrible thunder of ruin. Sabres up a cutlass, and springing from the nettings on to the Frenchinan's deck, roared out, waving his sword, flushed-the thunder and the cannon shook the "Here's my spit; ev'ry mon his bird, and I'll tak earth with their mingled tumult. gibbie;" and cutting down all before him, though seshouts, and the clashing of arms, sounded in Shrieks,

was close at his side, and together they dowsed the
colours, amid three cheers from all who witnessed the
exploit. The cheers were returned by the boarding
party, for the finest ship in the enemy's squadron was
now their own; and many an old goose* at Greenwich
lives to tell the tale.
AN OLD SAILOR.

• Goose, a nickname given to the pensioners.

MOSQUITOS.

adit iter liquidum celeres neque commovet alas."-VIRG.

I was very tired, and went to bed about eleven. was a hot summer night, and so light was my room with the soft yellow beams of the moon, that it was long before I could win

sweet restorer 29

66

nature's

to my eyelids. As I am a gentleman of an exceedingly thoughtful disposition, I was not at a loss for amusement. run over the events of the day that was gone; I began to

mosquito! at whose approach the enchanted spell was broken, and every vestige of my happy miserable. I lay upon my couch in a state of vision melted away-it was too bad-it was most pitiable melancholy, mourning over the sad certainty that I was only my poor humble world-that I had not ever seen a battle. I had self-that I had not been the wonder of the not rescued lovely innocence from ruin; and stead, I had been, in all human probability, instead of cleaving the brutal ruffian from his flourishing away at my poor unoffending bedpost, or heating, mayhap, the meek and unre sisting form of my own pillow.

Pity me, indulgent reader; but do not laugh exceedingly indignant; and what increased my when I assure you, upon mine honour, I was passion to a most alarming degree, was the fact that the little rascal kept humining about my face-now sailing around mine ear-then cutting a few flourishes about my nose and sometimes, my very cheek. I struck my face with all my with the most perfect sang froid, alighting upon might, in hopes of crushing the intruder to death, but he escaped from the blows, and all their fury fell upon myself. I began to be outrageous, and had already fretted myself into a copious perspiration, when to my inexpressible delight, the fury of the besieger abated—I heard his hum dying away in the distance-feebly, and could distinguish it no more. more feeble, it just reached mine ear-and I

verely wounded, fought his way to the taffaril. Emine ear, and I was about to fly away from the battle, the form of a beautiful woman: her scene, when I saw in the very midst of the raven ringlets were streaming in the wind, and her white hands uplifted in terror at the desolation around. I was rushing to her relief, when I saw a huge ruffian approach to her side-he seized her silken ringlets-he tore them from her head-and dared, in the insolence of his triumph, to grasp her throat; and the shriek,¦ that arose above the storm of war, was answered by a laugh. Another, and another, roughly seized the beautiful being: until I shouted revenge, and rushed to her rescue. Many a bullet whizzed by mine ear, but I tore the bright blade flashed around me, many a swift falchion from the clenched hand of a dying few moments repose, a gentle slumber began I flung myself upon my pillow, and after a figures of my enemies bore back at my approach. the miseries of mankind were again passing I cut my way to the terrified girl: and when she rapidly from my recollection; my spirit began wretch, and mingled in the battle. The lofty again to steal over my senses-mine eyes closed; saw her brutal insulters gnashing their teeth at again to float through the creation of fancy, and my feet-she sprang to my side, and clung to mingle with the vissionary wonders of the my bosom. A giant monster struck at her dreaming world. I was just forgetting myself white forehead. I turned my wrath on him- and all my sorrows, when-" terribile dictu," his blade shivered into a thousand atoms-I the approaching music of my long-legged friend cleaved his coward skull to the jaw, and he fell back amidst the maddened fury of all around his companions. The persecuted Frenchman, was audible away off in the farthest corner of shrieking from his horse. Dreadful were my the room; and, to my utter consternation, I struggles terrible was my revenge. I bore her could distinguish the varied. hum of several of sprang with my lovely burden upon a fleet when he beheld, for the fifth time, the everlastclouds disappeared as we rode; the sun shone in the miserable consternation of his half-broken steed; the noble animal fled like the wind; the ing phiz of his waggish pursuer, and exclaimed again in bright cheerfulness-the birds sung heart, "Begar; here's Monsieur Tonson come music to our way-and in a few moments me- again," did not feel half the vexation I expe countries I ever saw, and heard the clang of of comfort, thought I, when will misfortunes thought we were in one of the most beautiful rienced from my nocturnal visitor. In the name war only as some gentle breeze bore it at inter- end? Gently and playfully sported the little vals to our ear. Reader, reader, who shall tell fellows, before they thought fit in their wisdom the happiness of my bosom, when I hore my pretty maiden from the saddle, and felt that we round; now retiring, so as to flatter my mind to sit down to supper. They sailed round and around us, and perfumed breezes kissed away for ever; and then coming boldly within an were free! Roses clustered in blushing wreaths with the vain hope that they were leaving me the drops that exertion had gathered to my inch of my nose. brow. I looked upon the being I had rescued upon what trifles does your peace depend. I and, looking-I loved. She smiled upon me called my stoicism to my aid, and determined to Unhappy man, thought I, her lips parted-she was beginning to speak, sleep in spite of them. Yes, thought I, without when the voice of a distant trumpet broke upon opening mine eyes, for I was very sleepy with all sound; sometimes breathing soft music, but as our ears. Nearer, and more near, came the fatal my vexation, I will not let so small a trouble it approached it gave a long loud thundering my soliloquy by a sharp sting on my forehead, cause a single sorrowful"-I was interrupted in ed; but the sound of the trumpet continued. I vanished, I was compelled to act upon the defentwang, and I awoke. The fairy scene vanish-upon which my philosophy and equanimity lifed myself in my couch-and, gracious fathers! sive. I tried to catch some of them as they flew it was a mosquito! a little vile rascally mosquito by me. was flourishing in all the glory of long legs and of burying them in its folds. Alas! alas! I had I whirled around the clothes, in hopes sharp sting, around the very pinnacle of mine no sooner composed myself to rest again, under unhappy nose! away, than the same everlasting hum came the foolish supposition that I had driven them whizzing about mine ears, and sailing in the of my face. At length I sprang out of bed in most provoking composure around every feature despair-opened the windows and doors of my

and after some little preamble, my meditations gathered around the pretty form of a certain lady of our city,* and I lulled myself into a gentle slumber by thinking of her. I lay for some time in that most luxurious state between of mortality with half my senses yet clinging sleeping and waking-just on the boundary line to this earth, and the rest already beginning to rove in the lightness of freedom through the realms of fancy. I was indeed in a most delightful state of mind, and scarcely felt the couch that gave rest to my weary frame. Fairy visions, beautiful as the hues of the rainbow, floated in mine imagination. The conceptions of fancy embodied themselves-the very wishes of my waking moments were half accomplished; and I became as it were the mighty ruler of a world of mine own. Sometimes I thought I ing through the immensity of space, and passed was fallby planets in my way; but it was pleasant to me, and I seemed to be wheeling in graceful circles in the air, as in my younger days I have seen the eagle do, far away in the calm sky. Sometimes I thought I was sporting in the green meadow, romping and racing with the most lovely maidens that I had ever beheld; and in a "proh pudor" I dreamed I was actually kissing Mrs. L some kind spirit had lifted me far above the In short, gentle reader, scenes of earthly degradation, and I was revelling in the gay pleasures of another world. At length my fancy began to cut terrible capers. The pretty girls-the green meadows and Mrs. L- 's rosy lips-passed away; methought I beheld a battle. I stood upon the brow of a rugged mountain. The sea dashed and foamed on one side, and the crash of war

and

arose on the other. The wind blew in roaring whirlwinds, and bore the white foam of the

New York.

Now, was ever such a misfortune? To be dragged down from the fairy realms of imaginafrom fame-and victory-and love-to be torn tion-from blushing cheeks and blushing roses― away from these pleasures by the humming of a

room, and paced the door in augry sleeplessness. ¡ingly long interval, and all was apparently
A gentle breeze came marmuring into the buried in a profound, uninterrupted silence.
chamber, and bore away my tormentors. I Concluding, therefore, that the fearless maiden
looked out upon the silent world. The beauti- had seen the skull, and removed it in silence,
ful streaks of morning were just stretching along they retired with some little disappointment at
the eastern sky. I felt a little soothed by the the ill success of the plan they had laid to
beauty of the scene; my irritation gradually alarm her. In truth, Mary M'Cleod had not
subsided- ung myself again on my couch, seen the horrid spectacle; she reposed in the
and the bright beams of the morning sun awoke same bed with a human skull, totally ignorant
me from a refreshing slumber. When I arose, of so appalling a sight, and slept as sound as
I happened to cast my eyes upon the white innocence always will, in peace by its side.
washed ceiling, and there I beheld a mosquito The moon rising during the night, shed its rays
reposing his delicate frame, after the fatigues of through the window of her room, full upon the
the night. I mounted a table and two chairs- head of the skeleton, presenting an object
softly and carefully raised my extended palm, barely visible to the eye, and for that reason
and gave a most terrible slap. There was bloodmore horridly awful than language could attempt
on the place when I got down, and happening to to describe, more especially as there were no
look in the glass, I found my teeth set together, objects distinctly present to the eye which could
in a most revengeful manner.
dispel any dreadful illusion which such a spec-
tacle, under such circumstances, could give rise
to. Upon this scene, arranged by an unfortu-
nate occurrence of events, as if laid out by the
hand of a demon, beamed the bright eye of
Mary M'Cleod, as she awoke from a dream-
fell like the sparkling eye of an angel hovering
over chaos. The shock was too exquisitely hor-,
rible to be endured; her fine spirits could not
withstand the blow; and but a few minutes suf-
ficed to convert the soaring spirit of her whose
wit had lately abashed even the most presump-
tuous, into that wild horror-stricken essence
which directed the wild motions of a beauteous
unfortunate maniac.

MARY M'CLEOD.

"O'er thee the secret shaft

That wastes at midnight, or the undreaded hour
Of noon, flies harmless; and that very voice
Which thunders terror throngh the guilty heart,
With tongues of Seraphs whispers peace to thine!"

The wisdom of the Persian adage-"Begin nothing of which thou hast not well considered the end," need not be illustrated better than by the catastrophe of the following melancholy story, in which the eloquence of Sterne could hardly be required to render its termination additionally appalling;-fiction need not lend her aid to render the colouring more attractively impressive.

Listen, said the wife of the worthy host, a physician of long practice in the most benevolent of the sciences-Listen to that curious, long-continued laugh! it is surely the laugh of It was hardly possible to imagine the exist- your favourite, Mary M'Cleod! in a few moence of a more amiable spirit than that which ments all the inmates of the house were assemactuated the conduct of the charming Mary bled at the door of the room, which contained M'Cleod. The circle of friends which had as- the beauteous form from whence this wild laughsembled at the house of her uncle, at Lubec, in ing emanated; it paused for a few moments, Danish Pomerania, was composed of rather a and then again proceeded-again it ceased, and large family circle of the youth of both sexes, all became silent as the grave. Again the laugh and they formed a constellation of no ordinary went on-no entreaties could stop it-all quesinterest; for there was more than one youthful tions passed away unheeded. It sounds, said Tyro of the number, of acknowledged talents, one of the servants, as if it was approaching and yet none whose acquired principles could the window. This suggestion roused the weeprender the fondest parent solicitous to preventing energy of the worthy doctor: he hastily the object of its, affections from being blasted burst open the door, and rushed into the room; by its contagious influence. Amid all their but his benevolence came too late, for the undancing and revelry-in the deepest warmth of fortunate subject of the story had precipitated sparkling disputation-Mary M'Cleod always herself to the ground, and was borne back, by held a foremost rank; and, without intruding her agonized companions, more dead than alive. herself forward as the arbitress of any other The doctor soon foresaw that the injury she had person's opinion, she in reality gave a tone to received would render all care useless-death that of the whole-for those who could not be had marked her for his own. The incessant convinced by the strength of her reasoning, care, however, which was bestowed upon her, were always ready to admire the manner in brought her from a state of torpor to some little which it was delivered, and were always willing feeling. Her half-dead attendants had yet a to believe that her eyes said less than her other hope for the best; but death came on apacearguments. no balm could cure an injured frame, whose anBoasting, one evening, how little she was gelic spirit was, if possible, still more dreadsubject to the impressions of fear, it was re- fully wounded-her days of suffering, were solved, by her thoughtless juvenile associates, therefore few; and on the morning in which she that an attempt should be made to expose what fled into the field where folly never riots, the they considered vanity in the extreme; with bright spark of reason returned to her once this view, after some consultation, they resolved again-all her powers of mind came back with to introduce into her bed a portion of a human renewed strength; and calling around her the skeleton, with its head reclining upon a pillow, weeping groupe, with whom she had parted but imagining that, when the unfortunate subject of a few evenings before, she begged of them to this memoir should undraw the curtains of her forget her fate as completely as she forgave bed, an involuntary scream would expose that those who were the unintentional cause of her even her fears could be easily worked upon. death. Do not imagine, said the retiring angel, They listened, when she had retired from the-do not for one moment believe that I am dance, with no ordinary silence; but for such sorry that the period is come when I shall be an exclamation they listened in vain; no scream set free from a pilgrimage which night, perhaps, -not the least sound was heard-the light of have ended still more unfortunately, and might the lamp, too, was extinguished, after a seem- not have afforded so useful an example of the

dangers of working upon the fears of any one; nor should I have been so tried, had not my vanity laid claim to what no one ever possessed -a total absence of all fear. In all future periods, amid the gay scenes of life, when anger shall prompt you, you may recollect to forgive others as Mary M'Cleod forgave you; and if ever my spirit shall be deputed again to visit the earth, I shall, perhaps, be that very attendant spirit, who, at that very moment, will bring back to your recollection the fate of Mary M'Cleod.

ARTS AND SCIENCES.

IMPROVED LAMP.

M. Fresnal has lately constructed, in France, lamps on the principle of M. Argand; but having, instead of one circular wick, two or three of such, concentrically placed, and admitting up a free current of air between each wick. The perfect combustion produced by the great heat and free access of air, to the oil thus volatilized at top of the wicks, is said to be productive of very great advantages, as to perfection and economy of light. Flat wicks have for a long time in this country been placed side by side, and near to each other, with similar advantages, by Major Cochrane and others.

VARIETIES.

SWALLOWING SWORDS.

It is not generally known, says a correspondent, that the juggling part of swallowing a sword, which has just produced so fatal a result to an awkward practitioner, and which Ramo Samee previously exhibited with so much eclat, is a very ancient conjuring trick, as appears from the following curious passage in Plutarch; From hence resulted the pithiness of the Laconian speech, an instance of which we have in King Agis, who, when a pert Athenian laughed at their short swords, and said that the jugglers and mountebanks swallowed such upon the stage, answered him, "Short as they are, we can give our enemies a home thrust with them.". Plutarch's Life of Lycurgus.

SELFISHNESS.

Some persons (we hope the number is small) seem. perfectly callous to every thing, which does not immediately touch their own persons. Sympathy is a stranger to their bosoms; love and friendship, and every other generous sentiment, is as incomprehensible to them, as the theory of light and shade is to a blind man.

A man of this description, who was visiting the Va

tican at Rome, "after staring some time, with marks
of terror, at the Laocoon group, at length recovered
himself, exclaiming with a laugh, Egad, I was afraid
these serpents would have left the fellows they are
devouring, and made a snap at me but I am happy to
recollect they are of marble.”- 'I thank you, sir, most
for putting me in.
heartily," said another spectator,
mind of that circumstance; till you mentioned it, I was
in agony for these two youths."

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A COMMON TUNE.

A lady the other day, who had made some progress on the piano, and whose vanity prompted her to display proficiency on every possible occasion, asked another who was sitting by her, if she knew what she was playing? "I do,' "answered her friend," you play it very often." "But what is it called ?” "The fool," returned the other.

PORTRAIT.

"Could you not give a little expression to that countenance?" said a gentleman to an eminent English painter, who showed him a portrait that he had just finshed; "I have made that attempt already," replied the painter, but, what the picture gained in expression, it lost in likeness; and by the time there was a little common sense in the countenance, nobody knew for whom it was intended. I was obliged, therefore, to make an entire new picture, with the face perfectly like, and perfectly meaningless as you see it."

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