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groom and the coachman, and thus every branch of expense will be filled to your master's honour.
Take all tradesmen's parts against your master, and when you are sent to buy anything, never offer to cheapen it, but generously pay the full demand. This is highly to your master's honour, and may be some shillings in your pocket, and you are to consider, if your master has paid too much, he can better afford the loss than a poor tradesman.
“ Write your own name and your sweetheart's with the smoke of a candle on the roof of the kitchen, or the servant's hall to show your learning.
“ Lay all faults upon a lap dog or favourite cat, a monkey, a parrot, or a child; or on the servant, who was last turned off; by this rule you will excuse yourself, do no hurt to any. body else, and save your master or lady the trouble and vexation of chiding.
“ When you cut bread for a toast, do not stand idly watching it, but lay it on the coals, and mind your other business; then come back, and if you find it toasted quite through, scrape off the burnt side and serve it up.
“ When a message is sent to your master, be kind to your brother servant who brings it; give him the best liquor in your keeping, for your master's honour; and, at the first opportnnity he will do the same to you.
“When you are to get water for tea, to save firing, and to make more baste, pour it into the tea-kettle from the pot where cabbage or fish have been boiling, which will make it much wholesomer by curing the acid and corroding quality of the tea.
“ Directions to cooks.-Never send up the leg of a fowl at supper, while there is a cat or dog in the house that can be accused of running away with it, but if there happen to be neither, you must lay it upon the rats, or a stray greyhound.
“When you roast a long joint of meat, be careful only about the middle, and leave the two extreme parts. raw, wbich will serve another time and also save firing.
“Let a red-hot coal, now and then fall into the dripping pan that the smoke of the dripping may ascend and give the roast meat a high taste.
“If your dinner miscarries in almost every dish, how could you help it? You were teased by the footman coming into the kitchen; and to prove it, take occasion to be angry, and throw a ladleful of broth on one or two of their liveries.
“ To Footmen.-In order to learn the secrets of other families, tell them those of your masters; thus you will
grow a favourite both at home and abroad, and be regarded as a person of importance.
“Never be seen in the streets with a basket or bundle in your hands, and carry nothing but what you can hide in your pockets, otherwise you will disgrace your calling; to prevent which, always retain a blackguard boy to carry your loads, and if you want farthings, pay him with a good slice of bread or scrap of meat.
“Let a shoe-boy clean your own boots first, then let him clean your master's. Keep him on purpose for that use, and pay him with scraps. When you are sent on an errand, be sure to edge in some business of your own, either to see your sweetheart, or drink a pot of ale with some brother servants, which is so much time clear gained. Take off the largest dishes and set them on with one hand, to show the ladies your strength and vigour, but always do it between two ladies that if the dish happens to slip, the soup or sauce may fall on their clothes, and not daub the floor.”
We think that he might have written “ directions” for the masters of his day, as by incidental allusions he makes, we find they were not unaccustomed to beat their servants.
Sarcasm was Swift's foible. But we must remember that the age in which he lived was that of Satire. Humour then took that form as in the latter days of Rome. Critical acumen had attained a considerable height, but the state of affairs was not sufficiently settled and tranquil to foster mutual forbearance and amity. Swift, it must be granted, was not so personal as most of his contemporaries, seeking in his wit rather to amuse his friends than to wound his rivals. But his scoffing spirit made him enemies—some of whom taking advantage of certain expressions on church matters in “ The
Tale of a Tub” prejudiced Queen Anne, and placed an insuperable obstacle in the way of his ambition. He writes of himself.
“Had he but spared his tongue and pen
And wealth he valued not a groat." In his poem on his own death, written in 1731, he concludes with the following general survey
“Perhaps I may allow the Dean
Had too much satire in his vein;
I wish it soon may have a better."
which shone in the constellation in Queen Anne's classic reign. Pope said that of all the men that he had met Arbuthnot had the most prolific wit, allowing Swift only the second place. Robinson Crusoe—at first thought to be a true narrative—was attributed to him, and in the company who formed themselves into the Scriblerus Club to write critiques or rather satires on the literature, science and politics of the day, we have the names of Oxford, Bolingbroke, Swift, Pope, Gay, and Arbuthnot. Of the last, who seems to have written mostly in prose, a few works survive devoid of all the coarseness which stains most contemporary productions and also deficient in point of wit. It is noteworthy that the two authors who endeavoured to introduce a greater delicacy into the literature of the day, were both court physicians to Queen Anne. The death of this sovereign caused the Scriblerus project to be abandoned, but Gulliver's Travels, which had formed part of it, were afterwards continued, and some of the introductory papers remain, especially one called “Martinus Scriblerus,” supposed to have been the work of Arbuthnot. It contains a violent onslaught principally upon Sir Richard Blackmore's poetry, such as we should more easily attribute to Pope, or at least to his suggestions. It resembles “ The Dunciad” in
containing more bitterness than humour. Examples are given of the “Pert style,” the “ Alamode” style, the “Finical style.” The exceptions taken to such hyperbole as the following, seem to be the best founded
OF A LION.
OF A LADY AT DINNER.
OF THE SAME.
OF A BULL BAITING.
And add new monsters to the frighted sky.” · There is a certain amount of humour in Arbuthnot's “History of John Bull,” and in his “Harmony in an Uproar.” A letter to Frederick Handel, Esquire, Master of the Opera House in the Haymarket, from Hurlothrumbo Johnson, Esquire, Composer Extraordinary to all the theatres in Great Britain, excepting that of the Haymarket, commences
“Wonderful Sir!—The mounting flames of my ambition bave long aspired to the honour of holding a small conversation with you; but being sensible of the almost insuper. able difficulty of getting at you, I bethought me a paper kite might best reach you, and soar to your apartment, though seated in the highest clouds, for all the world knows I can top you, fly as high as you will.”.
But we may consider his best piece to be “A Learned Dissertation on Dumpling.”