40

But quite divefted of my former fpleen,
Am unprovok'd without and calm within:
And here I'll wait thy coming, till the fun
Shall its diurnal courfe completely run.
Think not that thou of sturdy butt fhalt fail; 35
My landlord's cellar 's stock'd with beer and ale,
With every fort of malt that is in ufe,
And every county's generous produce.
The ready (for here Chriftian faith is fick,
Which makes us feldom trefpafs upon tick)
Inftantly brings the choiceft liquors out,
Whether we ask for home-brew'd or for ttout,
For mead or cyder, or with dainties fed,
Ring for a flask or two of white or red,
Such as the drawer will not fail to fwear
Was drunk by Pilkington when third time mayor.
That name, methinks, fo popularly known
For oppofition to the church and crown,
Might make the Lufitanian grape to pass,
And almost give a fanction to the glass;
Efpecially with thee, whofe hafty zeal
Against the late rejected commerce bill
Made thee rife up, like an audacious elf,
To do the speaker honour, not thyself.

45

50

56

But, if thou foar'ft above the common prices,
By virtue of fubfcription to thy Crifis,
And nothing can go down with thee, but wines
Prefs'd from Burgundian and Campanian vines,
Bid them be brought; for, though I hate the
French,

I love their liquors, as thou lov'st a wench;
Elfe thou must humble thy expenfive tafte,
And, with us, hold contentment for a feast.

60

65

The fire's already lighted; and the maid Has a clean cloth upon the table laid, Who never on a Saturday had truck, But for thy entertainment, up a buck. Think of this act of grace, which by your leave Sufan would not have done on Eafter Eve, Had the not been inform'd over and over, 'Twas for th' ingenious Author of The Lover. 70 Cease therefore to beguile thyfelf with hopes, Which is no more than making fandy ropes, And quit the vain purfuit of loud applan e, That muft bewilder thee in faction's caufe.

And with much malice, mix'd with little fatire, Explode the wits on t'other fide o'th' water.

96

100

Why has my Lord Godolphin's ipecial grace Invented me with a queen' -walter's place, If I, debarr'd of fettiva! delights, Am not allow'd to spend the perquifites? He's but a fhort remove from being mad, Who at a time of Jubilee is fad; And, like a griping ufurer, does fpare His money to be fquander'd by his heir; Flutter'd away in liveries and in coaches, And washy forts of feminine debauches, As for my part, whate'er the world may think, I'll bid adieu to gravity, and drink; And, though I can't put off a woeful mein, Will be all mirth and cheerfulness within: As, in defpight of a cenforious race, I moft incontinently fuck my face.

105

110

What mighty projects does not he defign,
Whofe ftomach flows, and brain turns round

with wine?

Wine, powerful wine, can thaw the frozen cit, And fathion him to humour and to wit;

Makes even S**** to disclose his art,

By racking every fecret from his heart,

115

As he flings off the ftatefman's fly difguife,
To name the cuckold's wife with whom he lies.
Ev'n Sarum, when he quaffs it ftead of tea, 120
Fancies humfelf in Canterbury's see ;
And S******, when he caroufing reels,
Imagines that he has regain'd the feals:
W******, by virtue of its juice, can fight, 125
And Stanhope of commiffioners make light,
Wine gives Lord William aptitude of parts,
And fwells him with his family's deferts:
Whom can it not make eloquent of speech?
Whom in extremeft poverty not rich?
Since, by the means of the prevailing grape,
Th**** can Lechmere's warmth not only ape,
But half-feas-o'er, by its infpiring bounties,
Can qualify himself in feveral counties.
What I have promis'd, thou may'st rest affur'd,
Shall faithfully and gladly be procur'd.
Nay, I'm already better than my word,
New plates and knives adorn the jovial board:

130

Why Dunkirk's demolition is fo late?

Cr why her Majefty thinks fit to cease

81

The din of war, and hufh the world to peace?
The clergy too, without thy aid, can tell
What texts to choose, and on what topicks dwell;
And, uninftructed by thy babbling, teach
Their flocks, celeftial happiness to reach.
Rather let fuch poor fouls as you and I
Say that the holy days are drawing nigh,
And that to-morrow's fun begins the week,
Which will abound with ftore of ale and cake,
With hams of bacon, and with powder'd beef,
Stuff'd to give field-itinerants relief.

85

Then I, who have within these precincts kept, And ne'er beyond the chimney-fweeper's stept, Will take a loofe, and venture to be feen, Since 'twill be Sunday, upon Shanks's green; There, with erected looks and phrafe fublime, To talk of unity of place and time,

faces,

The girl has fcower'd the pots, and wash'd the glaffes,

Ta'en care fo excellently well to clean 'em,
That thou mayft fee thine own dear picture in 'em.
Moreover, due provision has been made,
That converfation may not be betray'd;

145

I have no company but what is proper
To fit with the most flagrant Whig at fupper.
There's not a man among them but muft please,
Since they 're as like each other as are peas.
Toland and Hare have jointly fent me word,
They'll come; and Kennet thinks to make a third,
Provided he 'as no other invitation,
From men of greater quality and station.
Room will for Oldmixon and J-s be left;
But their discourses smell too much of theft:
There would be no abiding in the room,
Should two fuch ignorant pretenders come.

151

153

TO LORD HARLEY,

ON HIS MARRIACE, 1713.
MONG the numbers who employ

A Their tongues and p-as to give you joy,

Dear Harley generous youth, admit
What friendship dictates more than wit.
Forgive me, when I fondly thought
(By frequent obfervations taught)
A fpiritio inform'd as yours
Could never profper in amours.

The God of Wit, and Light, and Arts,
With all acquir'd ad natural parts,
Whole harp could favage beats enchant,
Was an unfortunate gallant.
Had Bacchus after Daphne reel'd,

The Nymph had foon been brought to yield:
Or, had embroider d Mars purfued,

The Nymph would ne'er have been a prude,
Ten thousand footftops, full in view,
Mark out the way where Daphne flew :
For fuch is all the fex's fight,

They fly from learning, wit, and light:
They fly, and none can overtake
But fome gay coxcomb, or a rake.

How then, dear Harley, could I guess
That you should meet, in love, fuccefs?
For, if thofe antient tales be true,
Phoebus was beautiful as you :
Yet Daphne never flack'd her pace,
For wit and learning fpoil'd his face.
And, fince the fame refemblance held
In gifts wherein you both excell'd,
I fancy'd every nymph would run
From you, as from Latona's fon.

Then where, faid I, fhall Harley find
A virgin of fuperior mind,
With wit and virtue to difcover,
And pay the merit of her lover?

This character fhall Ca'endish claim,
Born to retrieve her fex's fame,

The chief among the glittering crowd,
Of titles, birth, and fortune proud,
(As fools are infolent and vain)
Madly afpir'd to wear her chain :
But Pallas, guardian of the Maid,
Defcending to her charge's aid,
Held out Medufa's fraky locks,
Which tupify'd them all to flocks.
The Nymph with indignation view'd
The dull, the noify, a d the lewd:
For Pallas, with celertial light,
Had purity'd her mortal fght;
Shew'd her the virtues all combin'd,
Freh blooming, in young Harley's mind,
Terreftrial nymphs, by former arts,
Difplay their various nets for hearts:
Their looks are all by method fet,
When to be prude, and when coquette;
Yet, wanting skill and power to choose,
Their only pride is to refuse.

But when a goddefs would bestow
Her love on fome bright youth below,
Round all the earth fhe cafts her eyes;
And then, defcending from the fkies,
Makes choice of him the fancies beft,
And bids the ravish'd youth be bless'd."

Thus the bright Emprefs of the Morn
Chofe, for her fpoufe, a mortal born:
The Goddefs made advances firft;
Elfe what afpiring hero durt?
Though, like a virgin of fifteen,
She blushes when by mortals feen;
Still bluftes, and with fpeed retires,
When Sol purfuss her with his fires.

Diana thus, Heaven's chatteft queen, Struck with Endymion's graceful mien, Down from her river charint came, And to the Shepherd own'd her fame.

Thus Ca'endifh, as Aurora bright,
And chafter than the Queea of Night,
Defcended from her fphere, to find
A mortal of fuperior kind.

IN SICKNESS. Writted in IRELAND, Cctober, 1714 S true-then why fhould I repine To fee my life fo faft decline? But why obfcurely here alone, Where I am neither lov'd nor known? My ftate of health none care to learn; My life is here no foul; concern: And thofe with whom I now converfe, Without a tear will tend my hearfe. Remov'd from kind Arbuthnot's aid, Who knows his art, but not his trade, Preferring his regard for me Before his credit or his fec. Some formal viûts, looks, and words, What mere humanity affords, I meet perhaps from three or four, From whom I once expected more;

Which thofe who tend the fick for pay
Can act as decently as they :
But no obliging tender friend
To help at my approaching end.
My life is now a burden grown
To others, ere it be my own.

Ye formal weepers for the fick,
In your last offices be quick;

And fpare my abfent friends the grief
To hear, yet give me no relief;
Expir'd to-day, intomb'd to-morrow,
When known, will fave a double-forrow.

A

THE FABLE OF THE BITCHES.
Written in the Year 1715.

On an ATTEMPT to repeal the TEST ACT.
BITCH that was full pregnant grown,
By all the dogs and curs in town,
Finding her ripen'd time was come,
Her litter teeming from her womb,
Went here and there, and every where,
To find an eafy place to lay-her.

At length to Mufick's houfe* fhe came,
And begg'd like one both blind and lame;
"My only friend, my dear," faid fhe,
"You fee 'tis mere neceffity
"Hath fent me to your houfe to whelp;
"I'll die, if you deny your help."

With fawning whine, and rueful tone,
With artful figh and feigned groan,
With couchant cringe, and flattering tale,
Smooth Bawty did fo far prevail,
That Mufick gave her leave to litter:
But mark what follow'd-faith! fhe bit her.
Whole baskets full of bits and fcraps,
And broth enough to tll her paps;
For, well the knew, her numerous brood,
For want of milk, would fuck her blood.

But when the thought her pains were done,
And now 'twas high time to be gone;
In civil terms," My friend," fays fhe,
"My houfe you 've had on courtesy;
"And now I earnestly defire,

"That you would with your cubs retire:
"For, fhould you flay but one week longer,
"I fhall be ftarv'd with cold and hunger."

The guest reply'd My friend, your leave "I must a little longer crave;

"Stay till my tender cubs can find "Their way for now, you fee, they're blind; "But, when we've gather'd ftrength, I fwear, "We 'Il to our barn again repair. "

The time pafs'd on; and Mufick came,

Her kennel once again to claim;
But Bawty, loft to thame and honour,

Set all her cubs at once upon her;

Made her retire, and quit her right,

And loudly cry'd-" A bite! a bite!" *The Church of England,

A Scotch name for a bitch; alluding to the kirk. VOL, V.

THE MORAL.

Thus did the Grecian wooden horfe Conceal a fatal armed force: No fooner brought within the walls, But Ilium 's lott, and Priam falls.

HORACE, BOOK III. ODE IL TO THE EARL OF OXFORD,

LATE LORD TREASURER.

Sent to him when in the ToWER, 1716. TOW bleft is he who for his country dies,

Since Death purfues the coward as he flies! The youth in vain would fly from Fate's attack, With trembling knees and terror at his back; Though Fear fhould lend him pinions like the wind,

Yet fwifter Fate will feize him from behind.

Virtue repuls d, yet knows not to repine, But fall with unattainted honourine; Nor foops to take the faff*, nor lays it down, Juft as the rabble pleate to fmile or frown.

Virtue, to crown her favourites, loves to try Some new unbeaten pafiage to the sky; Where Jove a feat among the gods will give To thofe who die for meriting to live.

Next, faithful Silence hath a fure reward; Within our break be every fecret barr'd! He who betrays his friend, fhall never be Under one roof, or in one fhip, with me. For who with traitors would his fafety truft, Left, with the wicked, heaven involve the juft? And, though the villain Tcape awhile, he feels Slow vengeance, like a blood-hound, at his heels.

PHYLLIS;

OR,

THE PROGRESS OF LOVE, 1716.
ESPONDING Phyllis was endued

Dwith every talent of a prude:

She trembled when a man drew near;
Salute her, and the turn'd her ear;
If o'er against her you were plac 'd,
She durit not look above your waift:
She'd rather take you to her bed,
Than let you fee her drefs her head:
In church you hear her, through the croud,
Repeat the abfolution loud:

In church, fecure behind her fan,
She durit behold that monster man;
There practis'd how to place her head,
And bit her lips to make them red:
Or, on the mat devoutly kneeling,
Would lift her eyes up to the cicling,

*Te enlign of the Lord Treasurer's office.

And heave her bofom unaware,
For neighbouring beaux to fee it bare,
At length a lucky lover came,
And found admittance to the dame.
Suppofe all parties now agreed,
The writings drawn, the lawyer fee'd,
The vicar and the ring bespoke :
Guefs, how could fuch a match be broke?
See then what mortals place their bli's in!
Next morn betimes the bride was miffing:
The mother scream'd, the father chid;
Where can this idle wench be hid?
No news of Phyl! the bridegroom came,
And thought his bride had skulk'd for fhame;
Because her father us❜d to say,
The girl had fuck a b.fiful way!

Now John the butler must be fent
To learn the road that Phyllis went.
The groom was with'd to faddle Crop;
For john muft neither light nor ftop,
But find her, where foe'er the fled,
And bring her back, alive or dead.

See here again the devil to do!
For truly John was miffing too;
The hortc and pillion both were gone!
Phyllis, it feems, was fled with john.
Old Madam, who went up to ind
What papers Phyl had left behind,
A letter on the toilet fees,

To my much-horour'd father-thefe-
('Tis always done, romances tell us,
When daughters run away with fellows)
Fill'd with the choiceft common-places,
By others us'd in the like cafes.
"That long ago a fortune-teller

Exacly faid what now befel her;
"And in a gifs had made her fee
"A ferving-man of low degree.
"It was her fate, mutt be forgiven

For marriages evere made in heaven:

His pardon begg'd: but, to be plain, "She'd do 't, if 'twere to do again: "Thank'd God, 'twas neither name nor fin`z "For John was come of honefi kin. "Love never thinks of rich and poor: "She'd beg with John from door to door, "Forgive her, if it be a crime; "She'll never do it another time.

She ne'er before in all her life

Once difobey'd him, mid nor wife.
"One argument the fumm'd up all in,
"The thing was dore, and puft receiling ;
And therefore hop'd the fhould recover
His favour, when his pafion's over.
"She valued not what others thought her,
And was--his most obedient daughter."
Fair maidens, all attend the Mufe,
Who now the wandering pair pursues ;
Away they rode in homely fort,

Their journey long, their money fhort;
The loving couple well bemir'd;
The horfe and both the riders tir'd:
Their victuals bad, their lodging worfe;
Phyl cry'd, and John began to curfe:

Phyl wish'd that he had ftrain'd a limb,
When first fhe ventur'd out with him;
John wit'd that he had broke a leg,
When firft for her he quitted Peg.

But what adventures more befel them,
The Mufe hath now no time to tell them,
How Johnny wheedled, threater 'd, fawn'd,
Till Phyllis all her trinkets pawa’d:
How oft' fhe broke her marriage vows
In kindness to maintain her spoufe,

Till fwains unwholefome fpoil'd the trade;
For now the furgeons must be paid,
To whom thofe perquintes are gone,
In Christian juftice due to john.

When food and raiment now grew scarce,
Fate put a period to the farce,
And with exact poetic justice;
For John was landlord, Phyllis hoftefs;
They kept, at Staines, the Old Blue Boar,
Are cat and dog, and rogue and whore.

AD AMICUM ERUDITUM
THOMAM SHERIDAN, 1717.

ELICIA Sheridan Mufarum, dulcis amice,

propitius aditumen

Occurrat, feu te mimum convivia rident,
Aquivocofque fales fpargis, feu li dere verfu
Malles; dic, Sheridan, quifoam fuit ille deorum,
Que melior natura orto tibi tradidit artem
Rimandi genium puerorum, atque ima cerebri
Scrutandi? Tibi nafcenti ad cunabula Pallas
Aftitit; & dixit, mentis præfaga futuræ,
Heu, puer infelix! noftro fub i dere natus;
Nam tv pectus eris fire corpore, corporis umbra,
Sed levitate umbram fuperabis, voce cicadam :
Mufca femur, palmas tibi mus dedit, ardea

crura.

Corpore fed tenui tibi quod natura negavit,
Hoc animi dotes fupplebunt; teque docente,
Nec longum tempus, furget tibi docta juventus,
Artibus egregiis animas inftruéta novellas.
Grex hinc Peonius venit, ecce, falutifer orbi.
Aft, illi caufas orant; his infula vifa eft
Divinam capiti nodo conftringere mitram.

Natalis te hore non fallunt fgna, fed ufque Confcius, expedias pucro feu lætus Apollo Nafcenti arrilit; ve illum frigidus horror Saturni premit, aut feptem inflavere triones.

Quin tu altè perituique latentia femina cernis, Que que din obtundendo olim fub luminis auras Erumpent, promis; quo ritu fæpè puella Sub cinere hefterno. fopitos fufcitat ignes.

Te dominum agnofcit quocunque fub aëre