never exchange a word with them-nor with the apes, &c. for pretty near the fame reafon; they act by rote, as the others speak by it, and equally make me filent; nay, my dog and my cat, though I value them both (and for my dog, he would fpeak if he could)-yet fomehow or other, they neither of them poffefs the talent for converfation-I can make nothing of a discourse with them.

But with an afs I can commune for ever. Come, Honefty! faid I-feeing it was impracticable to pass betwixt him and the gate-art thou for coming in, or going out?

The ass twisted his head round to look up the ftreet

Well-replied I-we'll wait a minute for thy

driver.

-He turned his head thoughtful about, and looked wiftfully the opposite way.

I understand thee perfectly, anfwered I-if thou takeft a wrong ftep in the affair, he will cudgel thee to death-Well! a minute is but a minute, and if it faves a fellow-creature a drubbing, it shall not be fet down as ill spent. He was eating the ftem of an artichoke as this difcourfe went on, and, in the little peevish contentions of nature betwixt hunger and unfavorinefs, had dropt it out of his mouth half a dozen times, and picked it up again God help thee, Jack!

faid I, thou haft a bitter breakfast on't-and many a bitter day's labour and many a bitter blow, I fear, for its wages 'tis all-all bitterness to thee, whatever life is to others.

And now thy mouth, if one knew the truth of it, is as bitter, I dare fay, as foot-(for he had caft afide the stem) and thou hast not a friend perhaps in all this world that will give thee a macaroon.- -In faying this, I pulled out a paper of them, which I had juft purchased, and gave him one-and at this moment that I am telling it, my heart fmites me, that there was more of pleasantry in the conceit, of seeing how an afs would eat a macaroon-than of benevolence in giving him one, which prefided in the act.

When the afs had eaten his macaroon, I preffed him to come in the poor beaft was heavy loaded his legs feemed to tremble under him he hung rather backwards, and as I pulled at his halter, it broke short in my hand he looked up penfive in my face"Don't thrash me with it, but if you will you may". If I do, faid I, I'll be dd. The word was but one half of it pronounced, when a perfon coming in, let fall a thundering baftinado upon the poor devil's crupper, which put an end to the ceremony. Out upon it!

cried I,

TRISTRAM SHANDY, VOL. IV. CHAP. 13.

THE

Page 48.

"Don't thrash me with it, but if you will,

may,

If I do, said I, IU be _P__d.”

Barlow 1.

you

Published as the Act directs. Octo! 20.1793, by 6. Korsley, N.46, Fleet Street. Lønden

THE ABUSES OF CONSCIENCE;

A SERMON.

HEBREWS XIII. 18.

-For ve TRUST we have a good Confcience

"TRUS

RUST! Trust we have a good confcience!" [Certainly Trim, quoth my father, interrupting him, you give that fentence a very improper accent; for you curl up your nofe, man, and read it with fuch a fneering tone, as if the parfon was going to abuse the Apoftie.

He is, an't pleafe your honour, replied Trim.

Pugh! faid my father, fmiling.

Sir, quoth Doctor Slop, Trim is certainly in the right; for the writer (who I perceive is a Proteftant by the fnappifh manner in which he takes up the Apoftle,) is certainly going to abuse him ;-if this treatment of him has not done it already. But from whence, replied my father, have you concluded fo foon, Doctor Slop, that the writer is of our church? -for aught I can fee yet,-he may be of any church.

-Because, answered Doctor Slop, if he was of ours,——he durft no more take fuch a licence,— than a bear by his beard;-If in our communion, Sir, a man was to infult an apoftle,——a faint, or even the paring of a faint's nail, he would have

D