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“ His friends in exile, or the Tower,

« Offensive to a loyal ear : “ Himself within the frown of power ;

“ But—not one fermon, you may swear." « Pursued by base invenom'd pens,

“ He knew an hundred pleasing Rories, 525 " Far to the land of — and fens; 460 “ With all the turns of Whigs and Tories : " A servile race in folly nurs'd,

" Was cheerful to his dying-day ; * Who truckle most, when treated work. “ And friends would let him have his way. “ By, innocence and resolution,

“ As for his works in verse or prose, " He bore continual persecution ;

“ I own myself no judge of those.

530 " While numbers to preferment rose, 465 “ Nor can I tell what criticks thought them ; “ Whose merit was to be his foes ;

“ But this I know, all people bought them, • When co'n bis own familiar friends,

“ As with a moral view delign'd, “ latent upon their private ends,

“ To please and to reform mankind ; “ Like renegadoes now he feels,

" And, if he often miss'd his aim,

533 Against bim lifting up tbeir beels.

470 “ The world must own it to their foame, « The Dean did, by his pen,


“ The praife is bis, and theirs the blame. " An infamous destructive cheat ;

" He gave the little wealth he had Taught fools their interest how to know, “ To build a house for fools and mad; And gave them arms to ward the blow. " To thew, by one satiric couch,

540 Envy hath own'd it was his doing, 475 | “ No nation wanted it so much. " To save that hapless land from ruin ;

" That kingdom he hath left his debtor, " While they who at the steerage stood,

“ I wish it loon may have a better. " And reap'd the profit, fought his blood. “ And, since you dread no further lafbes, " To save them from their evil fate,

“ Methinks you may forgive bis asbes.545 " In hina was held a crime of state. " A wicked monster on the bench, " Whose fury blood could never quench; " As vile and profligate a villain,

AN EPISTLE TO TWO FRIENDS*, " As modern Scroggs, or old Treffilian ; " Who long all justice had discarded, 485

TO DR. HELSHAM. Nor fear'd be God, nor man regarded ; “ Vow'd on the Dean his rage to vent,

Nov. 23, at night, 1731. " And make him of his zeal repent : " But Heaven his innocence defends,

HEN I left you, I found myself of the “ The grateful people stand his friends ; 490

grape's juice fick; “ Not trains of law, nor judges' frown,

I'm so full of pity, I never abuse fick; “ Nor topics brought to please the crowa,

And the patientest patient that ever you knew lick, " Nor witness hir'd, nor jury pick'd,

Both when I am purge-lick, and when I am spewe

fick. “ Prevail to bring him in convict. “ In exile, with a steady heart,

I pitied my cat, whom I knew by her mew fick ;

495 “ He spent his life's declining part ;

She mended at first, but now she's a-new fick. " Where folly, pride, and faction sway,

Captain Butler made some in the church black and " Remote from St. John, Pope, and Gay."

blue fick ; “Alas, poor Dean! his only scope

Dean Cross, had he preach'd, would have made “ Was to be held a misanthrope.


us all pew-lick. “ This into general udium drew him,

Are not you, in a crowd when you sweat and " Which if he lik’d, much good muy's do bim.

stew, fick: " His seal was not to lash our crimes,

Lady Sanery got out of the church when she grew “ But dif:ontent against the times :

fick, For, had we made him timely offers

And, as fast as the could, to the deanry flew Gick.

305 * To raise his post, or fill his coffers,

Miss Morice was (I can assure you 'tis true) fick : Perhaps he might have truckled down,

For, who would not be in that numerous crew “ Like other brethren of his

fick ? gwn ; For party he would scarce have bled :

Such mufick would make a fanatick or Jew lick, * I say no more, because he's dead. 510 Yet, ladies are seldom at ombre or lue lick: " What writings has he left behind ?"

Nor is old Nanny Shales, whene'er she does brew,

fick. I hear they're of a different kind : " A few in verse; but most in prole"

My fooiman came home from the church of a

bruise fick, " Some bigh-flowun pampblets, i suppose : “ All scribbled in the worst of times,


And look'd like a rake, who was made in the " To palliate his friend Oxford's crimes ;

Itews sick ; “ To praise queen Anne, nay more, defend her, “ As never favouring the Pretender : " Or libels yet conceal'd from fight,

* This medley (for it cannot be calle! a poem) is Against the court to fhew his spite : 520 given as a specimen of those bagatelles for which the “ Perhaps his travels, part the third ;

Dean bath perbaps been too severely cerfured. Summa, " A lye at every second word-

which suere fiind more exceptionwide, ori luppr

.. N. Vol. V.

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lick ;


But you learned do&ors can make whom you

of rhymes I've a plenty,
choose fick:

And therefore send twenty.
And poor I myself was, when I withdrew, fick ;
For the smell of them made me like garlick and

Answered the same day when sent, Nov. 23. rue fick,

I defire you will carry both these to the Doctor, And I got through the crowd, though not let by together with his own ; and let him know we are a clue, fick

not persons to be insulted. Yet hop'd' to find many (for that was your cue

“ Can you match with me,

" Who send thirty-three? But there was not a dozen (to give them their due)

“ You must get fourteen more, fick,

“ To make up thirty-four : And those, to be sure, stuck together like glew,

« But, if me you can conquer, fick.

" I'll own you a strong cui*.' So are ladies in crowds, when they squeeze and This morning I'm growing by smelling of yew they fcrew, fick

fick ; You may find they are all, by their yellow pale hue, My brother's come over with gold from Peru fick; fok;

Last night I came home in a storm that then blew So am I, wher tobacco, like Robin, I chew, fick.

This moment my dog at a cat I halloo fick ;

I hear, from good hands, that my poor cousin TO DR. SHERIDAN.

Hugh's sick, IF I write any more, it will make my poor And now there's no more I can write (you'll ex.

By quaffing a bottle, and pulling a screw fick : Miule lick This night I came home with a very cold dew fick, You see that I scorn to mention word musick.

cusc fick; And I wish I may soon be not of an aque fick;

I'll do my best, Elit I hope I shall ne'er be, like you, of a threw

To send the rest ; fick,

Without a jest, Who often has made me, by looking askew, sick.

l'il stand the test.

These lines that I send you, I hope you'll pervse DR. HELSHAMS ANSWER.

I'll make you with writing a little more news fick:

Last nighi I came home with drinking of booze THE Dodor's first rhyme would make any Jew

fick; fick :

My carpenter swears that he'll hack and he'll hew I know it has made a fine lady in blue fick, For which she is gone in a coach to Killbrow fick, An officer's lady, I'm told, is tattoo fick : Like a hen I once had, from a fox when he flew I'm afraid that the line thirty-four you will view sick.

fick. Last Monday a lady at St. Patrick's did fpew fick, Lord! I could write a dozen more ; And made all the rest of the folks in the pew fick;

You fec, l've mounted thirty-four. The surgeon who bled her, his lancet out drew

sick, And stopt the distemper, as being but new fick. The yacht, the last storm, had all her whole crew fick ;

EPIGRAM Had we two been there, it would have made me

ON THE BUSTSTIN RICHMONL MERMITACE, 1732. and you fick : A lady that long'd, is by eating of slew fick;

“ Sic sibi lætantur Dodi" l'id you ever know one in a very good Q fick? I'm told tha: my wife is by winding a clue fick ;

ITH honour thus by Carolina plac'd, The doctors have made her by rhy nie and by ruc

How are these venerable bustoes grac'd! sick. There's a gamester in town, for a throw thịt heo Queen, with more than regal title crown'd,

For love of arts and piety renown'd! threw sick, And yet the old trade of his dice he'll pursue fick;

The lines thus markeol were written by Dr. l've known an old misur for paying his due fick ; At present l'm grown by a pinch of my 11:oe fick, Swift, at the bottom of Dr. Hulbom's twenty lies: And what would you have me with verses to do and the following fourteen were ufterwards edad u

ibe fame paper.

N. fick ? Send rhymes, and I'll send you some of sin lieu fick.

+ Naruton, Locke, Clarke, and Wes!c!er.


sick ;


How do the friends of virtue joy to see
Her darling fons exalted thus by thee !.
Nought to their fame can now be added more,
Rever'd by her whom all mankind adore.

But lead us inward to those goldica mines,
Where all thy soul in native lustre lines.
So when the eye surveys some lovely fair,
With bloom of beauty grac'd, with ihape and air ;
How is the rapture heightend, when we find
*Her form excell'd by her celestial mind!

Α Ν Ο Τ Η Ε R.
Lewis the living learned fed,
And rais 'd the scientific head:
Our frugal Queen, to save her meat,
Exalts the head that cannot eat.






And Gince our good

Queen to the wile is to jult, 'H'






and sent to the Drapier. SINCE Anna, whose bounty thy merits had fed, Ere her own was laid low, had exa'ied thy head;

ITHER from Mexico I came,

To serve a proud lernian dame : To raise heads for such as are humbled in duit ;


as long submitted to her will; I wonder, good man, that you are not envaulted ;

At length the loft me at quadrille.
Pr’ythee, go and be dead, and be doubly exalted.

Through various shapes I often passid,
Still hoping to have rest at latt

And still ambitious to obtain
DR. Swirt's ANSWER.

Adinittance to the patriot dean ;
HER majesty never shall be my exalter ; And sometimes got within his door,
And yet she would raise me, I know, by a halter ! But soon turn’d out to serve the poor* ;

Not strolling Idleness to aid,
But honest Industry decay'd.
At length an artist purchas'd me,
And wrought me to the shape you see.

This done, to Hermes ( apply'd :
TO THE REVEREND DR. SWIFT.“ O Hermes ! gratify my pride ;

“ Be it my fate to serve a sage,

JOUND ON HIS BIRTH-DAY, NOVEMBER 30, “ That matchless pen let me lupply,

“ The greatest genius of his age ; 1732.

“ Whose living lines will never die !" BY JOHN EARL OF ORRERY. I grant your suit, the God reply'd ;

and here he lefe me to reside. 0

Small is the present, but sincere the friend.
Think not so poor a book below thy care ;
Who knows the price that thou canst make it bear?

Though tawdry now, and, like Tyrilla's face,
The specious front shines out with borrow'd grace;

Though parte-boards, glittering like a tinsel'd coat,
A rafu tabula within denote :

Yet, if a venal and corrupted age,
And modern vices, should provoke thy rage ;

PAPER-BOOK is sent by Boyle,
If, warn'd once more by their impending fate,

Too neatly gilt for me to foil.
A finking country and an injur'à state

Delany sends a silver standish,
Thy great assistance should again demand, When I no more a pen can brandish.
And call forth reason to defend the land ;

Let both around my tomb be plac'd,
Then thall we view these sheets with glad surprise As trophics of a Muse deceas d :
Inspir'd with thought, and speaking to our eyes : And let the friendly lines they writ
Each vacant space shall then, enrich'd, dispense In praise of long-departed wit
True force of eloquence, and nervous sense ; Begrav'd on either lide in columns,
Inform the judgment, animate the heart, More to my praise than all my volumes,
And facred rules of policy impart.
The spangled covering, bright with splendid ore, * Alluding !o sool. a year lent by the Dean, without
Shall cheat the fight with empty show no more ; | interest, to poor trademen. F



To burst with envy, spite, and rage,

He found his virtues too fevere
The Vandals of the present age.

For our corropted times to bear :
Yet such a lewd licentious age
Might well excuse a Stoic's rage.

The goat advanc'd with decent pace; THE BEASTS CONFESSION TO

And firit excus'd his youthful face;

Forgiveness bezg'd, that he appear'd

('Twas nature's fault,) without a beard. ON OBSERVING HOW MOST MEN MISTAKE 'Tis true, he wae rot much inclin'd THEIR OWN TALENTS.


To fondness for the female kind;

Not, as his enemies object,
HEN beasts could speak (the learned say, Froni chance, or natural defeat ;

They still can do so every day), Not by his frigid constitution ;
It seems, they had religion then,

But through a pious resolution : As much as now we find in men.

For he had made a holy vow It happen'd, when a plague broke out

Of chastity, as Monks do now ; (Which thereforc made them more devout), Which he relolv'd to keep for ever hence, The king of brutes to make it plain,

And strictly too, as doth his * Reverence. Of quadrupeds I only mean)

Apply the tale, and you fall find, By proclamation gave command,

How just it suits with human-kind. That cvery fubje& in the land

Some faults we own : but can you guess ? Should to the priest confess their fins ;

- Why, virtues carried to excele, And thus the pious wolf begins :

Wherewith our vanity endows us, Good father, I must own with shame,

Though neither foe nor friend allows us. That often I have been to blame :

The lawyer swears (you may rely on't) I muft confess, on Friday last,

He never squeez'd a needy client ; Wretch that I was ! I broke my fast :

And this he makes his constant rule; But I defy the basest tongue

For which his brethren call him fool : To prove I did my neighbour wrong ;

His conscience always was so nice, Or ever went to seek my food

He freely gave the poor advice ; By rapine, theft, or thirst of blood.!

By which he loft, he may affirm, . The ass, approaching next, confess’d,

A hundred fees last Easter-term. That in his heart he lov'd a jest :

While others of the learned robe A wag he was, he needs must own,

Would break the patience of a Job, And could not let a dunce alone :

No pleader at the bar could match Sometimes his friend he would not spare,

His diligence and quick dispatch; And might perhaps be too severe :

Ne'er kept a cause, he well may boast, But yet, the worst that could be said,

Above a term, or two at most. He was a wit both born and bred ;

The cringing knave who seeks a place And, if it be a sin or shame,

Without success, thus tells his case : Nature alone must bear the blame :

Why should he longer mince the matter? One fault he hath, is sorry for't,

He fail'd, because he could not flatter; His ears are half a foot too short ;

He had not learn'd to turn his coat, Which could he to the standard bring,

Nor för a party give his vote : He'd shew his face before the king :

His crime he quickly understood ; Then for his voice, there's none disputes

Too zcalous for the nation's good : That he's the nightingale of brutes.

He found the ministers refent it, The swine with contrite heart allow'd,

Yet could not for his heart repent it. His shape and beauty made him proud :

The chaplain vows he cannot fawn, In diet was perhaps too nice,

Though it would raise him to the lawn: But gluttony was ne'er his vice :

He pass'd his hours among his books ; In every turn of life content,

You find it in his meagre looks: And meckly took what fortune fent :

He might, if he were worldly wise, Inquire through all the parish round,

Preferment get, and spare his eyes; A better neighbour ne'er was found :

But own'd he had a stubborn spirit, His vigilance might some displease ;

That made him trust alone to merit : 'Tis true, he hated Doth like pease.

Would rise by merit to promotion ; The mimic ape began his chatter,

Alas ! a mere chimeric notion. How evil tongues his life bespatter :

The doctor, if you will believe him, Much of the censuring world complain'd, Confess'd a fin ; and, (God forgive him!) Who said, his gravity was feign'd :

Call’d up at midnight, ran to save Indeed the strictness of his morals

A blind old beggar from the grave : Engag'd him in a hundred quarrels :

But see how Satan spreads his snares; He saw, and he was griev'd to see't,

He quite forgot to say his prayers. His zeal was sometimes indiscreet :

The prier his confeffer,

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He cannot help it for his heart

Nor never acts on private views, Sometimes to act the parson's part :

When he hath liberty to choose. Quotes from the Bible many a sentence,

The Tharper (wore he hated play, That moves his patients to repentance :

Except to pass an hour away: And, when his medicines do no good,

And well he might; for, to his coft, Supports their minds with heavenly food,

By want of skill he always loft : At which, however well intended,

Hc heard there was a club of cheats, He hears the clergy are offended,

Who had contrivd a thousand feats ; And grown so bold behind his back,

Could change the stock, or cog a dye, To call him hypocrite and quack.

And thus deceive the sharpeft eye. In his own church he keeps a feat ;

Nor wonder how his fortune sunk; Says grace before and after meat;

His brothers fleece him when he's drunk. And calls, without affecting airs,

I own the moral not exact : His houshold twice a day to prayers.

Belides, the cale is false in fact; He fhuns apothecaries' shops,

And so absurd, that, could I raise up And hates to cram the fick with flops :

From fields Elysian, fabling Ælop, He scorns to make his art a trade,

I would accuse him to his face Nor bribes my, lady's favourite maid :

For libeling the four-foot race. Old nurse-keepers would never hire,

Creatures of every kind but ours To recommend him to the squire ;

Well comprehend their natural powers; Which others, whom he will not name,

While we, whom reason ought to sway, Have often practis'd to their shame.

Miftake our talents every day. The statesman tells you, with a freer,

The ass was ncver known so stupid His fault is to be too fincere ;

To act che part of Tray or Cupid ; And, having no sinister ends,

Nor leaps upon his master's lap, Is apt to disoblige his friends.

There to be stroak’d, and fed with pap, The nation's good, his master's glory, '

As prop would the world persuade; Without regard to Whig or Tory,

He better understands his trade : Were all the schemes he had in view;

Nor comes, whene'er his lady whistles; Yet he was seconded by few :

But carries loads, and feeds on thistles. Though some had spread a thousand lyes,

Our author's meaning, I presume, is 'Twas be defeated the Excise.

A'creature bipes et implumis ; 'Twas known, though he had borne aspersion, Wherein the moralist design'd That standing troops were his aversion :

A compliment on human-kind:
His practice was, in every station,

For here he owns, that now and then
To serve the king, and please the nation ; Beasts may degenerate into men.
Though hard to find in every case
The fittest man to fill a place :
His promises he ne'er forgot,

But took memorials on the spot :
His enemies, for want of charity,

TOULD you rise in the eburcb ? be ftupid Said, he affected popularity :

and dull; "Tis true, the people understood,

Be empty of learning, of infolence full; That all he did was for their good;

Though lewd and immoral, be formal and grave, Their kind affections he has try'd;

In flattery an artist, in fawning a fave : No love is loft on either side.

No merit, no science, no virtue, is wanting He came to court with fortune clear,

In him that 's accomplish'd in cringing and canting. Which now he runs out every year:

Be studious to pradise true meanness of Spirit; Muft, at the rate that he goes on,

For who but lord Bolton* was miered for merit? Inevitably be undone :

Would you with to be wrape in a rocbet ? in fort, Oh! if his Majesty would please

Be por'd and profane as F-n or Horte +
To give him but a writ of ease,
Would grant him licence to retire,
As it hach long been his desire,

By fair accounts it would be found,
He's poorer by ten thousand pound.

"HAT you, friend Marcus, like a Stoick, He owns, and hopes it is no fin, He ne'er was partial to his kin;

No real fortitude implies: He thought it base for men in stations

Yet, alt muft-own, thy wish is wise. To crowd the court with their relations:

Thy curate's place, thy fruitful wise, His country was his dearest mother,

Thy busy, drudging scene of life, And every virtuous man his brother ;

Thy insolent, illiterate vicar, Through modesty or awkward shame

Thy want of all-consoling liquor, (For which he owns himself to blame), He found the wiselt man he could,

* Then archbishop of Cafel. Without respect to friends or blood;

At that time bisbop of Kilmore.

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