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E PIG RA M.
A candle Nick, snuff-dith, pnd save-all :
And thus his houfrold goods you have all
These to your Lordihip as a friend,
you have built, I freely lend: THO can believe with comron ferre,
They 'll serve your Lordrip for a fift;
Why not, as well as Doctor Swift?
CADENUS AND VANESSA.
Written at Windsor, 1713.
were seen HARD DUTY.
Pleading before the Cyprian Queen.
The counsel for the fair began,
Acculog the false creature man.
The brief with weighty crimes was charg'dy With zeal in heart, and notes in hand; I rode four more to Great St. Mary,
On which the pleader much enlarg'd ; Ling four legs, when two were weary :
That Cupid now has lost his art, To three fair virgins I did tie men,
Or blunts the point of every dart ;lothe close bands of pleaíng Hymen :
His altar now no longer smokes,
His mother's aid no youth invokes ; Idipp'd two babes in boly water,
This tempts fitethinkers to refine,
And bring in doubt their powers divine;
Now love is dwindled to intrigue, preach'd three congregations deaf; Where thundering out, with lungs long-winded, | Which crimes aforesaid (cwith her leave)
And marriage grown a money-league. I chopp'd fo fait, that few there minded.
Were (as he humbly did conceive) My emblem, the laborious fun,
Against our sovereign lady's peace, saw all these mighty labours donc Before one race of his was run.
Against the statute in that case,
Againit her digrity and crown : All this perform’d by Robert Hewit:
pray'd an answer, and fat down.
With impudence own'd all the fact ;
But, what the gentlest heart would vex,
That modern love is no such thing
As what those ancient poets fmg; I', ou lending his House to the Bifrop of Meain, till
A fre cele ttial, chaîte, refin'd, his Palace was re-built.
Conceiv'd aud kindlerl in the mind; N caken, broken elbow-chair ;
Which, having found an equal ilame,
Unites, and both become the fame, A batter'd, shatter'd ath bedttcad;
In different breasts together burn, A box of deal, without a lid;
Together both to ashes turn. A pair of tongs, but out of joint ;
But women now feel no fueh fire,
35 A bac'r-fword poler, witbout point;
And only know the gross derre. A pot that's crackd acroís, around
Their pasions move in kuwer fpheres, With an old krotted garter bound;
Where'er caprice or folly steers, An iron lock, without a key;
A dog, a parrot, or an ape, A wig, with harging quite grown grey :
Or foine worse brute in human fbape, A curtain worn to half a fripe ;
Ingross the fancies of the fair, A pair of bellows, without pipe ;
Thc few soft moments they can spare, A dith wbich might good meat afford once ;
From vists to receive and pay; An Cvid, and an old Concordance;
Froni fcandal, politicks, and play: A bottle-bottom, wooden platt. r,
From fans, and flounces, and brocades, One is for mcal, and one for water :
From equipago and park-parades, 7bere likewise is a copper kille,
From all the thousand female toys, Which runs as fait out as you fill it ;
From every trifle that employ's
* Founded on an offer of marriage made by * Written extempore hy a gentlemen
, who coas re- Miss Vanhomrighto Dr. Swifi, who was occafiona proved by some of his companions for eating esos y her preceptor. The lady's unhappy flory is will and bacon ex a fajl-day.
A come one without ahear;
The out or inside of their heads,
For Cowley's briefs, and pleas of Waller, Between their toilets and their beds. 50 Still their authority was smaller.
HIS In a dull stream, which moving flow,
There was on both sides much to say: You hardly see the current How ;
She'd bear the cause ancther day. If a small breeze obtruct the course,
And so the did : and then a third It wlurls about, for want or force,
She heard it--there the kept her word: And in its narrow circle gathers
55 But, with rejoinders or replies, Nothing but chai , and straws, and feathers. Long bills, and answers ftufi'd with lies, The current of a female mind
Demur, imparlance, and efioign, Stops thos, and turns with every wind;
The parties ne'er could issue join : Thus whirling round together draws
For fixteen years the cause was spun, Fools, fops, and rakes, for chat and straws. 60 Ard then stood where it firit begun.
125 Hence we conclude, no women's hearts
Now, gentle Clio, fing or say. Are won by virtue, wit, and parts :
Wbat Venus meant by this delay. Nor are the men of sense to blame,
The goddess, much perplex'd in mind For breasts incapable of fame;
To see her einpire thus declin'd, The fault muft on the nymphs be plac'd, 65 Wben first this grand debate arose,
13° Growo fo corrupted in their taste.
Above her wisdom to compose,
Conceiv'd a project in her head
To work her ends ; which, if it sped, Who fairly could on oath depose,
Would thew the merits of the cause When questions on the fact arose, 90 Far better than consulting laws.
ISS That every article was true ;
In a glad hour Lucina's aid Nor further these de enerts knew imamo
Produc'd on earth a wondrous maid, There'ore he humbly would infift,
On whom the Queen of Love was bent The bill might be with cofts dismiss'd.
To try a new experiment. The cause appear'd of so much weight, 75 She threw ber law-books on the shelf, 146 That Venus, from ber judgment-seat,
And thus debated with herfel. Delir'd them not to talk so loud,
Sirce men alledge, they ne'er can find Elfe the must interpose a cloud :
Those beauties in a female mind, For, if the heavenly foll: should know
Which raise a fame that will endure These pleadings in the courts below, 80 For ever uncorrupt and pure ;
145 That mortals here disdain to love,
If 'tis with reason they complain, She ne'er could new her face above ;
This infart shall restore my reign. 'For gods, their betters, are too wise
I'll search where every virtue dwells, To value that which men de spise.
From courts inclusve down to cells : And then, iaid me, my son and I
85 What preachers talk, or fages write ; 150 Muft stroll in ali', 'twixt land and ky:
There I will gather and unite, Or elle, shut out from heaven ard carth,
And represent them to mankind Fly to the sea, my place of birth;.
Enllected in that infant's mind. There live, with daggied mer maids pent,
This said, she plucks in 'heaven's high-bow And keep on fish perpetual Lent.
ers, But, since the case appeared fo nice,
A sprig of amarantnine flowers,
138 She thought it beh 10 take advice.
In nectar thrice infuses bays, The Muses, by their King?; perinission,
Three times refin'd in Titan's rays ;
Then calls the Graces to her aid,
From whence the tender ikin assumes 16 . To whoin the might her doubts propose
A sweetness above all perfumes : Cu all emergencies that role.
From whence a cleanliness romains, The Muses oft were feen to frown;
Incapable of outward ftains : The Graces half-an-am'd look down ;
JOO From whence that decency of mind, And 'twas oblerv'd, there were but few
So lovely in the female kind. Of either sex anong the crew,
Where rot one careless thought intrudes, Whom te or her aileffors knew.
Leís modeít than the specch of prudęs ;
Where never blush was call'd in aid,
A virtue but at second-hand ;
179 The lovers Fletas, Bratons, Cokes.
They bluth, because they understand, First to a dapper clerk The beckon'd,
The Graces next would act their part, To turn to Ovid, hook the second;
And shew'd but little of their art; Slie then referr'd them to a place
Their work was half already done, In Virgil lavirle Dido's case) :
The child with native beauty thone ; As for Tibullus's reports,
The outward form no help requir'd: They never país d for law in courts :'
Each, breathing on her thrice, inspir'd
That gentle, foft, engaging air,
Will thus be by her mother chid, Which in old tiines adorn' the fair :
« 'Tis what Vanessa never did !"
245 And faid, “ Vanessa be the name
180 Thus by the nymphs and swains ador'd, " By which thou shalt be known to fame ; My power ft.all be again restorid, u Vanessa, by the gods inrollid:
And happy lovers bless my reign" Her name on earth Mall not be told,"
So Venus hop'd, but hop'd in vain, But still the work was not complete ;
For when in time the Martial Maid When Venus thought on a deceit,
185 Found out the trick that Venus play'd, Drawn by her dovos, away the flies,
She shakes ber kelm, she knitsher brows, And finds out Pallas in the skies.
And, fr'd with indigration, vows, Dear Pallas. I liave been this morn
To-morrow, cre the setting fun, To see a love!y infant born;
She'd all undo that he had done.
255 A boy in yonder ise below,
igo But in the poets we may find So like my own without his bow,
A wholesome law, iime out of mind, By beauty could your heart be won,
Had been confirm'd by Fate's decree, You'd swear it is Apollo's son :
That gods, of whatsoe'er degree, But it Thall ne'er be said, a child
Resume not what the noselves have given, so hopeful has by me been spoil'd; 195 Or any brother-godio heaven; I have enough befides to spare,
Which keeps the peace among the gods, And give him wholly to your care.
Or they must always be at odds : Wisdom 's above suspecting wiles :
And Pallas, if the broke the laws, The Queen of Learning gravely smiles,
Muft yield her foe the stronger cause; Duwn from Olympus comes with joy, 200
A shame to one so much adord Millakes Vanessa for a boy ;
For wisdom at Jove's council-board. Then fows within her tender mind
Besides, the feard the Queen of Love Seeds long unknown to womankind;
Would meet with better friends above. For manly bofoms chiefly fit,
And though the muft with grief refeát, 270 T'he feeds of knowledge, judgment, wit, 205 To fee.a mortal virgin deck'd Her soul was suddenly endued
With graces hitherto unknown With justice, truth, and fortitude ;
To female breasts, except her own; With honour, which no breath can stain,
Yet she would act as best became Which malice must attack in vain ;
A goddess of unspotted fame. With open heart and bounteous hand.
She knew, by augury divine, But Pallas here was at a ftand;
Venus would fail in her de øgn : She knew, in our degenerate days,
She study'd well the point, and found Bare virtue could not live on praise ;
Her foe's conclufions were not sound, That ineat must be with money bought :
From premises erroneous brought;
28. She therefore, upon second thought, 215 | And therefore the deduction's nought, Lius'd, yct as it were by stealth,
And must have contrary effects Some finall regard for state and wealth;
To what her treacherous foe expects, of which, a; she grew up, there staid
la proper season Pallas meets A tincture in the prudent maid :
The Queen of Love, whom tus ne greets 285 Sbe manag'd her eftate with care,
(For gods, we are by Homer told, Yet lik'd three footmen to her chair.
Can in celestial language scold): But, left he should neglect his studies
Perfidious goders! but in vain Like a young heir, the thrifty goddess
You forin'd this project in your brain ; (For fear young master should be spoild) A project for thy talents fit,
25• Would use him like a younger child ; 225 / With much deceit and little wit. And, after long computing, found
Thou haft, as thou Thalt quickly fee, 'Twould come to jutt five thousand pound. Deceiv'd thyself, indicacl of me :
The Queen of Love was pleas'd, and proud, For how can heave: .ly wisdom prove To fee Vanesila thus cidow'd ;
An inftrumert to earthly love? She doubted pot but sucha dame
230 Knowilt thou not yet, that men Through every briat would dart a flame; Thy votaries, for wart of fense? That cvery rich and lordly swain
Nor i all Vanefa be the theme With pride would drag about her chain ; To manage thy alsortive scheme: Tnt scholars would forsake their books,
She 'll prove the greatest of thy foes i To ftudy bright Vanessa's looks ;
235 And yet I scorn to ir terpore, As the adva ic'd, that womankind
But, urog neither 1 ill nor force, Would by her model form their mind,
Leave all things to their natural course. And all their conduct would be try'd
The goddels thus pronoured her doom: By her, as an unerring guide ;
When lo ! Vanera in her blooin
205 Oftending daughters ont would hear 240 Adva: cd, li'e Atalanta's 1ar, Vanessa's praitě rung in their car ;
Rut rarely seen, and seen from far : Miss Betty, when she does a fault,
In a new world with caution ftept, Leis fall ber kniir, or spills the salt,
Watch'd all the company ne kep
Well knowing, from the books the read, 310 | Discoursing, with iinportant faces
Shew'd patterns juit coin India brouyni,
And gravely alk'd her what ire thougut, Yet, not incurious, was icclin'd
Wbether the red or green were beti, To know the converse of mankind.
315 And what they co!l! Vaneffa gueld, First issued from perfumers' shops,
As came into her iancy trk; A croud of fashionabl: fops :
Nam'u balthe rates, auchi'd the work. They ak'd her, how the lik'd the play ;
To fcandal nextWbat au ward thing Then told the tatt!e of the day ;
Was tharlat Sunday in the ring? A duel fought lat night at two,
320 | I'm sorry Mopla breaks so fait; About a lady—you know who ;
I said, her face would never last. Mention d a new Italian come
Corinna, with that youthfulair, Either from Muscovy or Rome;
Is thirty, and a bit to ipare : Gave hints of who and who's together ;
Her fondness for a certain Earl Then fell a talking of the weather ; 325 Begea when I was but a girl! Laft night was to extremely fine,
Prillis, who but a month ago The ladies walk'd till atter nine ;
Was marry'd to the Tunbridge-beau, Then, in soft voice and speech absurd,
I saw coquetting i'other night With nonfenfe every fecond word,
In public with that odious kuight! With fuftian from exploded plays,
330 They rally'd next Vanela's dreis : They celebrate her beauty's praise ;
That gowa was made for old Q'icen Less. Run o'er their cant of ftupid lies,
Dear Madam, let me see your head : And tell the murders of her eyes.
Don't you is tend to put on red? With flent scorn Vanefia fat,
A petticoat without á hoop! Scarce listening to their idle chat;
335 Sure, you are not asham’d to foop! Further than sometimes by a trowa,
With handro.ne garters at your kujees,
Fill'd with disdain, with rage infiam’d,
Both of herself and fex ahaw'd, And laid the valued nothing less
340 The nymph ltood i lent out of spight, Than titles, figure, Mape and dress;
Vor would vouchaic to set thein right.
Away the fair di tractors wcut,
She' not fo ha dfome in my eyes :
For wit, I wonder where it lic! That present times have no pretence
She's fair and ckan, and that's the mosi : To virtue, in the noble sense
But why procla in her for a toal? By Crecks ad Romans understood,
A baby iace ; ro life, no airs, To perish for our country's good.
But what the learn'd at country-fairs ; She Land the ancient herocs round, 350 Scarce knows w dat ditter "ce is between Expliin'd for wai they were renowad;
Rich Fladers lace and Colbortcen, Then spoke with censure or applaufe
I'll undertake, iny little Nancy Of foreign cukio.ns, rites, and laws;
In t'ounce, bath a bettur fancy! Througi nature and through art Ihc rang'd, With all her wit, I would not alk And gracefully her subject chang'd; 355 Wer judgmeni, how to buy a makk. In vain! her hearers had no share
We begg'd her but to paich her face, In all the 'poke, except to itare.
She never hit ove vroper place; Their judgment was, lipca the whole,
Which every girl at live years old -Tha: lady is the dullet foul !
Can do as soon as it ei; told. Then tipt their forehead in a jeer,
360 Jowi, that out-of-ation ituff As who should say-She wants it here !
Becomes the creature well enough.
To know the world a little better.
( To kne to the world! a modern piraso From round the purlieus of St. James, 365 For victi, ombre, balls, and plays.) Came carly, out of pure good will,
Thus, to the world's perpetual fame, To fce the girl in dishabill-.
The Queen of Beauty loít her aim ;
Palla; had done more liarm than good ;
Where ignorance begets discuin,
Poti fexes, arm'd with guilt and pite, Whilit Mrs. Sufaa comb'd her head,
Agaiift Vanelia's power unite : They callid for tea and chocolate,
To copy her, few nymphs aspird ; And fell into their usual chat,
875 | Her virtues fewer Iwania adniir'd.
So fars beyond a certain height
Yet some of cither sex, endow'd
But Cupid, full of mi-chief; longs
The Queen of Wisdom could foresee,
Cupid, though all bis darts were lofts
Whate'er vexations love attend,
Her sex, with univeríal voice,
Cadenus many things had writ :
Mean time the boy in secret lurks ; 450
And, while the book was in her hand,
It piered the feeble volume through, 455
And deep transfix'd her boloin too.
Va iesa, not in years a score,
( avenus now com re appears
She fancies musick in his tongue ;
To venture in a ship decay'd? 470
What planter will attempt to yoke
A d he muft fall a prey to time, 473
While the continues in her prime.
For paítime, or to Thew his wit. 480 But books, and time, and itate affairs, Had spoild his factionable airs :
545 He now could praise, etteom, approve, But understood not what was love.
His conduc! might have made hiin ftyld 485 A father, and the nymph his child, That innocent delight he took
550 To see the virgin mind her book, Was but the master's secret joy
In school!o hear the finest boy.
She hourly prer for something new; 555
She renfou'd, without plodding long, 495 Nor ever gave her judgement wrong.
But now a ludlen change was wrought : 560
Such marks of a distracted mind:
565 He found her thoughts would absent range, Yet gucís'd not wlience could.pring tuc crange,
And Erft he modestly conjectures 505 His pupil might be tir'd with lectures ;