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EPIGRAM EXTEMPORE, BY DR, SWIFT.* TOLAND'S INVITATION TO DISMAL, N Britain Europe's safety lies;

To dine with the CALVES-FEAD C:Us*. is : Harley depends upon your kill;

Imitated from HORACE, lib. I, epiit. s. Think what you save, or what you kill.

(F, dearest Dismal, you for once can dire

Upon a single dif, and tavefu-wine,

Toland to you this invitation fends,
EPIGRAM.

To eat the caves-head with your trusts friends,

1712. S Thomas was cudgeld one day by his Leave hunting aster bribes, forget your tropes.

Suipend aw bile your vain ambitious hopes, AS wire,

To-morrow we our my ic feu prepare, He took to the street, and fled for his life : Tom's three dearest friends came by in the When we, by proper signs and symbols, tell,

Where thou, our lateit profelete, thalt ihare: squabble,

How, by brave hands, the royal traiter fell; And savd him at once from the threw and the | The meat Thall represent the Tyrirl's head, rabble ;

The wine his blood our predeceffors f} ed; Then ventur'd to give him some sober advice

Whilft an alluding hymn some artist fings, But tom is a perion of honour so nice,

We toalt, “ Confusion to the race of kings! Too wie to take counsel, too proud to take

At monarchy we nobly thew our spight, warning,

And talk shar fools call treufon all the night. That he sent to all three a challenge next morn Who, by disgraces or ill-fortune funt, ing :

Feels not his soul enliven'd when he 's drunk? Three duels he fought, thrice ventur'd his life ; Wine can clear up Godolphin's cloudy face, Went home, and was cudgeld again by his And fill Jack Smith with hopes to keep his place: wife.

By force of wice, evin Scarborough is brave,
Hal grows more pert, and Somers not so grave:
Wine can give Portland wit, and Clevel.

sense,
CORINNA. 1712.

Montague learning, Bolton eloquence :
HIS day (the year I dare not tell)

Cholmondeley, when drunk, can never lose !

wand; Apollo play'd the midwife's part; Intu the world Corinna fell,

And Lincoln then imagines he has land. And he endow'd her with his art,

My province is, to see that all be right,

Glafles and linen clean, and pewter bright; But"Cupid with a Satyr comes :

From our mysterious club to keep out spies, Both foftly to the cradle creep;

And Tories (dress'd like waiters) ia disguise. Both stroke her hands, and rub her gums, You ft.all be coupled as you bett approve, While the poor child lay fast alleep.

Seated at table next the men you love. Then Cupid thus : This little maid,

Sunderland, Orford, Boyle, and Richmond Of Love shall always speak and write.

Grace, And I pronounce (the Satyr faid)

Will come : and Hampden fall have Walpck's The world fall feel her scratch and bite.

place.

Wharton, unless prevented by a whore, Her talent the display'd betimes;

Will hardly fail : and there is room for more. For in twice twelve revolving inoons,

But I love elbow-roon whene'er I drink; She seein'd to laugh and squall in rhymes,

And honeft Harryť is too apt to stink. And all hier gestures were lampoons,

Let no pretence of business make you stay; At fix years old the subtle jade

Yet take one word of counsel by the way.
Stole to the partry-cloor, and found

If Guernsey calls, send word you're goce The butler with my lady's maid :

abroad ; And you may swear the tale went round. He'll teaze you with King Charles and Biłop She made a song, how little miss

Laud,
Was kifs d and nobber'd by a lad :

Or make you faft, and carry you to prayers :
And how, when master went to pay

But, if he will break-in, and walk up trairs,

Steal by the back-coor out, and leave him there: Miss came, and peep'd at all he had.

Then order Squash to call a hackney-chair.
At twelve a wit and a coquette ;
Marries for love, half whore, half wife;

* This poem, and 11 at which follows it, aretas Cuckolds, elopes, and runs in debt;

of the genry pufers mentioned in vift's Fiermiso Turns authoress, and is Curll's for life.

Stella, Aug. 7, 1712. Tiey are vere printed frex

folio copies in the Lambeth Library, N. * Inscribed to the physician suho attended Mr.

+ Right Hon. Herry Boyle, mentioned teice Harley'whilst he lay wounded. See Journal zo Stelia. before. Feb. 19, 1711-120 N,

THIS

PEACE AND DUNKIRK: Obferv'd a parfon near Whiteball . Being an excellent rew Song upon the Surren" The pricit was pretty well in cale,

Cheapening old authors on a stall. der of DUNKIRK to General HILL. 1712.

And thew'd some huinour in his face;

Lool'd with an easy, careless mien, To the Tune of « The King shall enjoy his own

A perfect 1tranger to the spleen; again."

Of fize that might a pulpit fill, PIGHT of Dutch friends and English focs,

But more inclining to 1.t ftill. Poor Britain shall have peace at lait : ,

My Lord (who, if a man may say 't,

Loves mischief better than his meat) Holland got towns, and we got blows;

Was now dispos’d to crack a jest,

1s But Dunkirk's ours, we'll hold it fast :

And bid friend Lewis* go in quest, We have got it in a string,

(This Lewis is a cunning shaver, And the Whigs may all go swing,

And very much in Harley's favour) For a nong good friend, I love to be plain;

In quest who might this porjan be, All thuir falle deluded hopes

What was his name, of what degree ; Will or ought to ead ia ropes :

If possible, to learn his story,
But the lueen hull enjoy her own again,

And whether he were Whig or Tory.
II.

Lewis his patron's humour knows,
Sunderland's run out o his wits,

Away upon his errand goes,

And quickly did the matter fft; And Dilmal double-Dilmallcoks ;

Found out that it was Doctor Swift, Wharton can only swear by fits,

A clergy man of special note And strutting Hall is oa the books ;

For thunding those of his own coat; Old Godolphin full of spleen

Which made his brethren of the gown
Made filig woces, and loit his queen;

Take care betimes to run hin down:
Harry lock'd fierce, and took his ragged mane :
But a Prince of high renown

No libertine, nor over nice,
Swore he 'd rather lote a crosung

Addicted to no sort of vice,

Went where he pleas'd, faid what he thought ; Than the Queer she'd enjoy her own ugain,

Not rich, but ow'd no man a groat;
III.
In itate opir.ions a la ni.ode,

35

He hated Wharton like a toad,
Our merchant-tips may cut the Line
And not be Inapt by privatcers ;

Had given the fallion many a wound,

And libel'd all the junto round;
And commoners who love good wine,
Will drink it now as well as peers :

Kept company with men of wit,

Who often fath i'd what he writ: Landed-men skall have their rent,

His works were hawk'd in every street, Tet our stocks rise ceni. per ceni.

But feldom rofe above a sheet: The Dutch from bence Mail no more millions

Of late indeed the paper-stamp drain:

Did very much his genius cramp: We'll bring on us no more debts,

And since he could not spend his fire, 45 Nor with bankrupts hill Gazettes ;

He now intended to retire.
All the Queenfl.all erjey her own ajan.

Said Harley, “I desire to know
VI.

« Froin his own mouth if this be fo; The towns we took ne'er did us good :

“ Step to the Doctor strait, and say, What liguified the French to beat?

" I'd have him dine with me to-day."

ş® We spent our 11.09ey and our blood,

Swift fecm'd to wonder what he meant, To make th. Durchmen proud and great:

Nor would believe my Lord had fent: But the Lord of Oxford Iwears,

So never ofter'd once to ftir ; Dunkirk lever shall be thirs.

But coldly said, “ Your fervant. Sir !! The Duich-hearted Whigs may rail and com

“ Docs he refuse me?” Harley cry'd ; 55 plain;

“ He does, with intolence and pride." But true English men may fill

Some few days after, Harley spies A good health to General Hill;

The Doctor fatten'd by the eyes
For the Queen now enjoys her own again,

At Claring-cross among the rout,
Where painted monsters are hung out:
He pull’d the string, and stopt his coach,

Bec oping the Do !or to approach.
HORACE, 'BOOK I

Swift, who could neither Hy nor hide,
EP VII

Came sneaking to the chariot ide,
Addressed to the Earl of OXFORD, 17 r.y. And offer'd many a lame excuse :
HAT
CARLEY, the nation's great support,

He never meant the least abusom
Returning home one day from court,

« My Lorchihe honour you design (His mind with public cares po Tess’d,

“ Extremely proud—but I had din All Europe's bul.nets in his breat)

* Erafts Lewis, . the treafura's secretary

VOL, V.

NA

I

85

90

1oo

a I'm sure I never should neglect

• Experience I have dearly bought; « No man alive has more respect

70

« You know I am not worth a groat : " Well, I shall think of that no more,

“ But you resolv'd to have your jeft; 135 “ If you 'll be sure to come at four."

« And 'twas a folly to conteft ; The Doctor now obeys the summons,

" Then, Since you have now done your worst, Likes both his company and commons;

Pray leave me wliere you found me firft." Displays his talent, fits till ten; Next day invited comes again; Soon grows domestic, seldom fails

HORACE, BOOK II. SAT. VI. Either at morning or at meals : Came early, and departed late ; In short, the gudgeon took the bait.

80

For life, fix hundred pounds a-year, My Lord would carry on the jeft,

A handsome house to lodge a friend, And down to Windsor takes his guest.

A river at my garden's end, Swift much admires the place and air,

A terrace walk, and half a rood And longs to be a caron there;

Of land set out to plant a wood. In summer round the park to ride;

Well, now I have all this and more, In winter, never fo refide.

I ask not to increase my store ; A caron! that's a place too mean;

But here a grievance seems to lie, No Doctor, you Thall be a Dean;

· All this is mire but till I die ; Two dozen canons round your itall,

· I can't but think twould sound more clever, And you the tyrant o'er them all :

- To me and to my heirs for ever. You need but cross the Irish leas,

• If I ne'er got or loft a groat, To live in plenty, power, and ease.

By any trick, or any fault ; Poor Swift departs; and, wbat is worse,

• And if I pray by reason's rules, With borrow'd money in his purse,

• And not like forty other fools : Travels at least an hundred leagues,

95

• As thus, “ Vouchsafe, oh gracious Maker! And suffers numberless fatigues.

« To grant me this and tother acre ; Suppose him now a Dean complete,

« Or, it it be thy will and pleasure, Demurely lolling in his seat;

“ Direet my plough to find a treasure !" The hlver verge, with dcent pride,

But only what my station fits, Stuck underneath his cushion-ide :

« And to be kept in my right wits, Suppose him gone through all vexations, • Preserve, Almighty Providence ! Patents, instalments, abjurations,

• Just what you gave me, competence : First-fruits and terths, and chapter-treats ;

And let me in these Dades compose Dues, payments, fees, demands, and cheats · Something in verse as true as prote; (The wicked laity's contriving

105

· Rentov'd from all th’a:nbitious scene, To hinder clergyme from thriving).

"Nor pufi'd by pride, por funk by spleen.' Now a!l the Doctor's money's spent,

In mort, I'm perfectly content, His tenants wrong bim in his reit;

Let me but live on this file Trent;

30 The farmers, spitefully combi: 'd,

Norcross the channel twice a year, Force him to takelis tith.s in kind : 110) Toiperd six months with state men bere. and Parvifol" discounts arrears

I must hy all means come to town, Bv billa íor taxes and repairs.

Tj; for the service of the Crown. Poor Gwilt, with all his loftes verd,

« Lewis, the Dean will be of use;

35 Not knowing where to turn him next,

• Send for him up, take no excuse." Above a thousand pounds in delis,

The inil, the danger of the leas, Takes horie, and i: a mizitoirt

Great liters ne'er think of these ; Rides day and night at fuch a rate,

Crict it costrve hundred pound, He fcon arrives at Ilarkey's 5:7*?;

No matter where the money 's fourd, But was to dirty, rale, and thin,

It is but fo much more in debt, Old Roodt wouki hardly let him in. 120 And that they ne'er cond rd yet.

Said Harley, “Welcome, Roverend Dsan! “ (cod Mir. Dean, go change your gown, « What makes your worf ip look fo lean? “ Let my Lord kurm you 're come to town." Wlay, fure you won't appear in town

I hurry me in liałte away. « In that old wig and ruty gown?

Not thinking it is levee-day ; « I doubt your heart is fet on peli

125

Ara tud hi honour in a pound. « So much, that you reglect yourself.

Ilemm' by a triple circle round, « What! I suppose, now stocks are high,

Cher uer'd with ribbons blue and green : « You ve fome good purchase in your eye?.

How should I thruft myself between? u Or is your money out at use?",

So de wag obferves me thus perplex'd, « Trice, good my Lord, I beg a truce,” 1:0 | And, smiling, whispers to the next, (The Dogor in a passion cryd)

“ I thought the Dean had been too proud, « Your raillery is misapply'd;

“ To jutile bere aniong tlic croud!”

Ano her, in a furly fit, The Dean's agert, a Freneman. Swięt,

Tells me I have more zeal than wit, * The Lord Treurers forter.

115

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much grace 6

es so eager to express your love,

They itand amaz'd, and think me grown * You ne'er consider whom you thove,

The closest mortal ever known. « But rudely prets before a duke.”

Thus in a sea of folly toit,

125 I own, I'm pleas'd with this rebuke, 60 My choiceit hours of life are loft; And take it kindly meant, to thow

Yet always willing to retreat, What I deire the world should know,

Ci, could I see my country leat! I get a whitper, and withdraw;

There leaning near a gentle brook, When twenty fools I never saw

Șleep, or perufe fome ancient book; 13 Come with petitions fairly penn'd,

65 And there in tweet oblivion drown Deliring I would tand their friend.

Thuse cares that haunt the court and town*. This humbly offers me his cafeThat begs my interest for a place A hundred other men's affairs, Like bees, are humming in my ears.

70 THE AUTHOR UPON HIMSELF, 1713. « To-morrow my appeal comes on; “ Without your help, the cause is gone

[A fece of the fort lines are wanting.] The duke expeds my lord and you, About some great affair, at two « Put my lord Bolingbroke in mind, 75 By an old - pursued To get my warrant quickly i go'd:

A crazy prelatet, and a royal prudef; « Confider, 'tis my first request."

By dull divines, who loo.: with envious eyes Be satisfy'd, I'll do my beft.

On every genius that attempts to rise ; Then presently he falls to teaze,

And, pauting o’er a pipe with doubtful nod, * You may for certain, if you please ; 80 Give hints that poets nder believe in God: “ I doubt not, if his lordịhip knew

So clowns on fcholars as on wizards look, And, Mr. Dean, one word from you" And take a falio for a conjuring book. 'Tis (let me fee) three yoars and more,

Swift had the poi wit, no venial crime ; (Odobee next it will be four)

Nay, 'tis afirın'd, he sometimes dealt in rhyme ; Since Harley bid me first attend,

85 Humour and unirth had place in all lie wril; And chose me for an humble friend;

He reconcil'a divinity and wit; Would take me in his coach to chat,

He mov'd, and bow d, and talk d, with ton And question me of this and that ; As, « What's o'clock?” And, “How's the Nor thew'd the parfon in his gait or face ; « wind ?"

D-ipis d luxurious wines and costly meat, « Whose chariot 's that we left behind ?" 90 Yet still was at the tables of the great ; Or gravely try to read the lines

Frequented lords, faw chose that faw the Queen; Writ underneath the country signs;

At Child'sg or Trudy's never one had been; 01, “ Have you nothing new to-day

Where town and country vicars flock in tribes, " From Pope, from Parnell, or from Gay ?” Secur'd by numbers from the lay men’s gibes, Such tattle often entertains

95 And deal in vices of the graver sort, My lord and me as far as Staines,

Tobacco, censure, conec, pride, and port. As once a week we travel down

But, a.ter lage monitions from his friends, To Windsor, and again to town,

His talents to employ for nobler ends ; Where all that passes inter nos

To better judgments willing to Lubmit, Might be proclaim'd at Charing-cross.

He turns to politicks his dangerous wit. Yet some I know with envy well,

And now, thi public interest to support, Because they see me us’d fo well:

By Harley Swift invited comes to court; " How thing you of our friend the Dean?

In favour grows with ministers of ft te ; “ I wonder what some people nean?

Admitted firivate, when superiors wait; « My lord and he are grown so greai, 105 And Harley, not af ani'd his choice to Own, " Always together, tele a lete;

Taxe: him to Windfor in his coach alore, “ What! they admire him for his jokes? At Windfor Swiit no sooner can appear, * See but the fortune oi fome folks!”

But St. John comes and whispers in his ear: There Hies about a 'trange report

The waiters stand in ranks ; the yeomen cry, Of some exprefs arriv'd at court :

IIO

Mke ruoni, as if a duke were passing by. I'm stopp'd by all the fools I ntt,

Now Finch | alarmis the Lords : he hears for And catechis'd in every Itreet.

certain « You, Mr. Dean, frequent the great;

This da gerous priest is got behind the curtain), “ Inform us, will the Emperor trea: ?

Finch, fain'd for tedious elocution, proves “ Or do the prints and papers lie?

That Switt oils many a {pring which Harley Faith, Sir, you know as much as I. " Ah, Doctor, how you love to jeft! “ 'Tis now no secreta-I prote:ť

* Sce the rest of this satire among Pope's Prems. Tis one to me" Then tell us, pray,

of Dr. Shar, archbishop of York. “ Wben are the troops to have their pay :” 120

I R. Arne. And, though I solemnly declare

Coffro-houses much frequented by the Clergy. I know no more than my lord mayor,

i Tixi Eurl of Nettogium. Sce above po 281

100

moves.

ver

over.'

Walpole and Ainabie*, to clear the doubt, They thought it was an old man's magic; Inform the Commons, that the secret's out: And Itrove by turns to break the faggot : « A certain doctor is observ'd of late

In vain ; the complicated wands « To haunt a csrtain minister of state ;

Were much too ftrorg for all their hands, “ From whence with balf an eye wo may disco. See, said the fire, how foon 'tis done ;

Then took and broke them one by one. « The peace is made, and Perkin muft come So strong you 'll be, in frie: dit ip tyd;

So quickly broke, if you divide. York is from Lambeth sent, to thew the Keep ciofe then, boys, and never quarrel: Queen

Here ends the fable and the mcral. A dangerous treatiset, writ against the spleen; This tale may be aprly'd in few words Which, hy the style, the matter, and the driit, To treasurers, comptrollers, rewards ; "Tis thought could be the work of none but And others who in folemn fort Swift.

Appear with Nender wands at court; Pror York! the harınless tool of others' bate; Not frmly join'd to keep their ground, He lues for pardon, and reperts too late. But lastig one another round: Now, angry Someriets her vergeance vows While wife men think they ought to fight On Swift's reproaches for her * * * * * With qunrleraraf, initead of cohite ; From her red locks her mouth-with venom fills ; Or coou able with jaf of peace And thence into the royal car instills,

Should come and make the clattering ceafe, The Queen incens'd, his tervices forgot, Which now disturbs the Queen and court, Leaves liin a victim to the vengeful Scot.l! And gives the Whigs ard rabble fport. Now through the rcalm a proclamation sprcad, In history we never found To fix a price on his devoted head.

The Confuls' Farces were unbound : While innocent, lie scorns ignoble flight; Those Romans were too wife to think on 'is His watchful friends preserve him by a fleighi, Except to latha fome grand delinquent.

By Harley's favour once again he shines ; How would they blush to bear it said, Is now carefo'r by candidate divines,

The Prætor broke the Conful's head! Who change opinions with the changing scene; Or Consul, in his purple gown, Lord! how were they mistakes in the Dean! Came up, and knock'd the Prætor down! Not Delawarr** again familiar grows,

Come, Courtiers": every man his fick! And in Swift's car thrufts halt his powder'd Lord Treasurer, for once be quick: nose,

And, that they may the closer cling,
The Seattith nation, whom ho dursi offend, Take your blue ribbon for a string.
Again apply that Swift would be their friendl.ft Come, trimming Harcourt*, bring your mace;

By faction tird, with griet he waits awhile, And squeeze it in, or quit your place :
His great contending frier.ds to reconcile, Dispatch, or else that rascal Northeyt
Performs what friendship, justice, truth, re Will undertake to do it for thee :
quire :

And, be assurd, the Court will find him What could be more, but decently retire ? Prepar'd to leai c'er juicks, or bind 'em,

To make the bundle strong and fafe, Great Ormond, lend thy General's faff :

And, if the Crolier could be cramın'd in, TIE FAGGOT.

A fig for Lechmere, King, ard Hanibden!

You'll then defy the strongest Whig WRITTEN WHEN THE MINISTRY WERE AT With both bis hands to lend a twig; YARIANCE,

Though with united (trength tivey all pull, 1713.

From Somers down to Craggs and Walpole. alier Try, ład, can you this burdle break ? Then bids the youngest of the 1.x Take up a well-bourd heap of sticks.

CATULLUS DE LESBIA. * Tixy both spoke again i kim in r'e Horfe of T ESDTA for ever on me rails, Commons

the To talk of me ire never fails, * Tile of a Tu).

Now, hang me but for all her art, Hejers a neige po af Sevifi', terden. I find, that I have gain’d her heart. $ See the Windfor Profiec), p. 281,

Niy proof is thus : I plainly sec, i The Duke of Argyil.

The ca’e is just the same with me ; Fer criting " The Pu!!. c Spirit of rigs," I curfe her every bour fincerely, ** Tienteri'oreafurer of the household, who cüd

Yet, hang me but I love her dearly. pionll; awided Swift wifi the proclamation was

Icre Clanceller. ir, endira.

He was vijired by t'e Scottis lords more than + Syr: Edward Northey, Attorney-Generais

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