This rich poor man was jogging down, Once on a time, from London town; With him his fon, a handy lad: To drefs his daddy-or his pad : Among his dealers he had been, And all their ready cafh swept clean. Gripe, to fave charges on the road, At each good house cramm'd in a load; With boil'd and roaft his belly fill'd, And greedily each tankard fwill'd: How favoury, how sweet the meat! How good the drink when others treat! Now on the road Gripe trots behind, For weighty reafons (as you 'll find): The boy foon long'd to take a whet, His horfe at each fign made a fet, And he fpurr'd on with great regret. This the old man obferv'd with pain, "Ah! fon," faid he, "the way to gain "Wealth (our chief good) is to abstain; "Check each expenfive appetite, "And make the most of every mite: "Confider well, my child, O think "What numbers are undone by drink! Hopeful young men! who might be great, "Die well, and leave a large eftate; "But, by lewd comrades led aûray,

Guzzling, throw all their means away. "Tom Dash, of parts acute and rare, "Can fplit a fraction to a hair; "Knows Wingate better than his creed, "Can draw ftrong ale, or a weak deed; "By precedents a bond can write, "Or an indenture tripartite; "Can measure land, pafture, or wood, "Yet never purchas'd half a rood. "Whom all these liberal arts adorn, "Is he not rich! as fheep new fhorn! "The reafon need not far be fought, "For three pence gain'd, he spends a groat. "There's Billy Blowfe, that merry fellow, "So wondrous witty when he's mellow; "Ale and mundungus, in defpite “Of nature, make the clown polite. "When those rich teams chafe his dull head, "What flowers fhoot up in that hot-bed! "His jefts, when fogs his temples fhrowd, "Like the fun bursting through a cloud, "Blaze out, and dazzle all the crowd: "They laugh, each wag's exceeding gay, "While he, poor ninny! jokes away "By night, whate'er he gets by day. "To thefe examples I might add 66 A fquire or two, troth full as bad; "Who, doom'd by heaven for their fins, "Mind nothing but their nipperkins: "But thefe, at this time, fhall fuffice; "Be faving, boy, that is, be wife."

Now, Mufe, come hold thy nofe, and tell What doleful accident befel; His horfe fet hard, an antient hack, That twice ten years carry'd a pack, But fuch a cargo ne'er before;

He had him cheap, and kept him poor;

His bowels ftuft with too much meat,
He fat uneafy in his feat,
And riggled often to and fro,
With painful gripings gnaw'd below.
His distance yet in hope to gain,
For the next inn he fpurs amain;
In hafte alights, and fcuds away,
But tide and time for no man stay.
No means can save whom heaven has curst,
For out th' impetuous torrent burst.
Struck dumb, aghaft at first he stood,
And scratch'd his head in penfive mood:
But, wifely judging 'twas in vain
To make an outcry, and complain,
Of a bad bargain made the beft,
And lull'd his troubled foul to rest.
Back he return'd with rueful face,
And fhuffled through the house apace;
My landlady fcreams out in hafte,
"Old gentleman, ho!-where so fast?
"Before you go, pray pay your fhot,
"This young man here has drunk a pot."
"A pot!" faid Gripe; "oh, the young rogue
"Ah, ruinous, expensive dog!"
And, muttering curfes in his ear,
Look'd like a witch with hellish leer;
But, finding 'twas in vain to fret,
Pull'd out his catskin, paid the debt.

This point adjusted, on they fare, Ambrofial sweets perfume the air: The younker, by the fragrant fcent, Perceiving now how matters went, Laugh'd inwardly, could scarce contain, And kept his countenance with pain. At laft he cries, "Now, fir, an't please, "I hope you're better, and at ease." "Better, you booby!-'tis all out""What's out?" faid he. "You drunken lout! "All in my trowfers-well-no matter"Not great-th' expence of foap and water; "This charge-if times are not too hard, "By management may be repair'd: "But, oh! that damn'd confounded pot! "Extravagant, audacious fot;

"This, this indeed, my foul does grieve,
"There's two-pence loft without retrieve!"

Why should not coxcombs mind their own?"
As thus he rav'd with all his might
(How infecure from Fortune's fpight,
Alas! is every mortal wight!)
To fhew his antient fpleen to Mars,
Fierce Vulcan caught him by the a--.
Stuck to his fkirts, infatiate varlet!
And fed with pleasure on the fcarlet.
Hard by, and in the corner, fate
A Bencher grave, with look fedate,
Smoking his pipe, warm as a toast,
And reading over laft week's poft;
He faw the foe the fort invade,

And foon smelt out the breach he made:
But not a word-a little fly

He look'd, 'tis true, and from each eye
A fide-long glance fometimes he fent,
To bring him news, and watch th' event.
At length, upon that tender part
Where honour lodges (as of old
Authentic Hudibras has told)
The bluftering colonel felt a smart.
Core griev'd for his affronted bum,
Frifk'd, fkip'd, and bounc'd about the room;
Then turning fhort, " Zounds, fir!" he cries-
"Pox on hi, had the fool no eyes?
"What! let a man be burnt alive!"
"I am not, fir, inquifitive"

(Reply'd Sir Gravity)" to know

Whate'er your honour 's pleas'd to do;

If you will burn your tail to tinder,

Pray what have 1 to do to hinder?

Other mens bufinefs let alone,

Why should not coxcombs mind their own?"
Then, knocking out his pipe with care,

Laid down his penny at the ba;
And, wrapping round his frieze furtout,
Took up his crab-tree, and walk'd out.

THE BUSY INDOLENT:

A TALE.

ACK CARELESS, was a man of parts,
Well-skill'd in the politer arts,
With judgment read, with humour writ :
Among his friends past for a wit:

But lov'd his cafe more than his meat,
And wonder'd knaves could toil and cheat,
T'expose themselves by being great.

At no levees the fuppliant bow'd;

Nor courted for their votes the crowd: Nor riches nor preferment fought,

Did what he pleas'd, fpoke what he thought.
Content within due bounds to live,
And what he could not spend, to give:
Would whiff his pipe o'er nappy ale,
And joke, and pun, and tell his tale;
Reform the state, lay down the law,
And talk of lords he never faw;
Fight Marlborough's battles o'er again,
And push the French on Blenheim's plain;
Difcourfe of Paris, Naples, Rome,
Though he had never stirr'd from home:
'Tis true he travel'd with great care,
The tour of Europe-in his chair.
Was loth to part without his load,
Or move till morning peep'd abroad..
One day this honest, idle rake,
Nor quite afleep, nor well awake,
Was lolling in his elbow-chair,
And building castles in the air,
His nipperkin (the port was good)
Half empty at his elbow stood,
When a ftrange noife offends his ear,
The din increas'd as it came near,
And in his yard at last he view'd
Of farmers a great multitude;
Who that day, walking of their rounds,
Had difagreed about their bounds;
And fure the difference must be wide,
Where each does for himself decide.
Vollies of oaths in vain they fwear,
Whigh burst like guiltlefs bombs in air;
And," Thou 'rt a knave!" and, "Thou'rt an oaf!"
Is banded round with truth enough.
At length they mutually agree,
His worship fhould be referee,
Which courteous (Jack consents to be:
Though for himself he would not budge,)
Yet for his friends an arrant drudge;
A confcience of this point he made
With pleasure readily obey'd,
And fhot like lightning to their aid.
The farmers, fummon'd to his room,
Bowing with aukward reverence come.
In his great chair his worthip fate,
A grave and able magiftrate:
Silence proclaim'd, each clack was laid,
And flippant tongues with pain obey'd.
In a fhort fpeech, he first computes
The vaft expence of law-difputes,
And everlasting chancery-fuits.
With zeal and warmth he railly'd then
Pack'd juries, fheriffs, tales-men;
And recommended in the close,
Good-neighbourhood, peace, and repose.
Next weigh'd with care each man's pretence
Perus'd records, heard evidence,

Obferv'd, reply'd, hit every blot,
Unravel'd every Gordian knot;
With great activity and parts,

Inform'd their judgments, won their hearts:
And, without fees, or time mifpent,
By ftrength of ale and argument,
Difpatch'd them home, friends and content.
Trufty, who at his elbow fate,
'And with surprise heard the debate,

}

}

Aftonish'd, could not but admire His ftrange dexterity and fire; His wife difcernment and good sense, His darkness, ease, and eloquence. "Lord! fir," faid he, " I can't but chide: "What useful talents do you hide! "In half an hour you have done more "Than Puzzle can in half a score, "With all the practice of the courts, "His cafes, precedents, reports."

Jack with a smile reply'd, " 'Tis true, "This may feem odd, my friend, to you, "But give me not more than my due. "No hungry judge nods o'er the laws, "But haftens to decide the cause: "Who hands the oar, and drags the chain, "Will struggle to be free again. "So lazy men and indolent,

"With cares opprefs'd, and business spent, "Exert their utmost powers and skill, "Work hard; for what? Why, to fit ftill. "They toil, they fweat, they want no fee, "For ev'n floth prompts to industry. "Therefore, my friend, I freely own "All this addrefs I now have shown, "Is mere impatience, and no more, "To lounge and loiter as before: "Life is a fpan, the world an inn"Here, firrah, t' other nipperkin."

THE YEOMAN OF KENT:

A

A TALE.

YEOMAN bold (suppose of Kent)
Liv'd on his own, and paid no rent ;
Manur'd his own paternal land,
Had always money at command,
To purchase bargains, or to lend,
T'improve his stock, or help a friend:
At Creffy and Poitiers, of old,
His ancestors were bow-men bold;
Whofe good yew-bows, and finews strong,
Drew arrows of a cloth-yard long;
For England's glory, frew'd the plain
With barons, counts, and princes flain.
Belov'd by all the neighbourhood,
For his delight was doing good :
At every mart his word a law,
Kept all the fhuffling knaves in awe.
How just is heaven, and how true,
To give to fuch defert its due!
'Tis in authentic legends faid,

Two twins at once had blefs'd his bed:
Frank was the eldeft, but the other

Was honeft Numps, his younger brother;
That, with a face effeminate,

And shape too fine and delicate,

Took after his fond mother Kate,

A Franklin's daughter. Numps was rough,
No heart of oak was half fo tough,
And true as steel, to cuff, or kick,
Or play a bout at double-stick,

}

Who but friend Numps? While Frank's delight
Was more (they fay) to dance, than fight;
At Whitfon-ales king of the May
Among the maids, brifk, frolic, gay,
He tript it on each holyday.

Their genius different, Frank would roam
To town; but Numps, he ftaid at home.
The youth was forward, apt to learn,
Could foon an honest living earn;
Good company would always keep,
Was known to Falstaff in Eaft-cheap;
Threw many a merry main, could bully,
And put the doctor on his cully;

Ply'd hard his work, and learn'd the way,
To watch all night, and fleep all day.
Flush'd with fuccefs, new rigg'd, and clean,
Polite his air, genteel his mien :
Accomplish'd thus in every part,
He won a buxom widow's heart.
Her fortune narrow; and too wide,
Alas! lay her concerns, her pride:
Great as a dutchefs, fhe would scorn
Mean fare, a gentlewoman born;
Poor and expensive! on my life
'Twas but the devil of a wife.

Yet Frank, with what he won by night,
A while liv'd tolerably tight;
And spouse, who fometimes fate till morn
At cribbidge, made a good return.
While thus they liv'd from hand to mouth,
She laid a bantling to the youth;
But whether 'twas his own or no,
'My authors don't pretend to know.
His charge enhanc'd, 'tis also true
A lying-in's expensive too,
In cradles, whittles, fpice-bowls, fack,
Whate'er the wanton gollips lack;
While fcandal thick as hail-fhot flies,
Till peaceful bumpers feal their eyes.
Frank deem'd it prudent to retire,
And vifit the good man his fire;
In the ftage-coach he feats himself,
Loaded with madam and her elf;
In her right hand the coral plac'd,
Her lap a China orange grac'd:
Pap for the babe was not forgot;
And lullaby's melodious note,
That warbled in his ears all day,
Shorten'd the rugged, tedious way.
Frank, to the manfion-house now come,
Rejoic'd to find himself at home;
Neighbours around, and cousins went
By scores, to pay their compliment.
The good old man was kind, 'tis true,
But yet a little fhock'd, to view
A fquire fo fine, a fight fo new.
But above all, the lady fair

Was pink'd, and deck'd beyond compare;
Scarce a fhrieve's wife at an affize
Was drefs'd fo fine, fo roli'd her eyes:
And master too in all his pride,
His filver rattle by his fide,

Would shake it oft, then thrilly scream,
More noify than the yeoman's team;
With taffels and with plumes made proud,
While jingling bells ring out aloud.

}

The good old dame, ravish'd out-right,
Ev'n doated on fo gay a fight;

Her Frank, as glorious as the morn;
Poor Numps was look'd upon with scorn.
With other eyes the yeoman fage
Beheld each youth; nought could engage
His wary and difcerning heart,
But fterling worth and true defert.
At last, he could no longer bear
Such ftrange fophifticated ware;
He cries (enrag'd at this odd fcene)
"What can this foolish coxcomb mean,
"Who, like a pedlar with his pack,
"Carries his riches on his back?
"Soon fhall this blockhead fink my rents,
"And alienate my tenements,
"Which long have ftood in good repair,
"Nor funk, nor rofe, from heir to heir;
"Still the fame rent without advance,

"Since the Black Prince firft conquer'd France:
"But now, alas! all must be loft,
"And all my prudent projects croft.
"Brave honeft race! Is it thus then
"We dwindle into gentlemen?
"But I'll prevent this foul difgrace,
"This butterfly from hence I'll chace."
He faddles Ball without delay,
To London town directs his way;
There at the Herald's Office he
Took out his coat, and paid his fee,
And had it cheap, as wits agree.
A lion rampant, ftout and able,
Argent the field, the border fable;
The gay efcutcheon look'd as fine,
As any new-daub'd country fign.
Thus having done what he decreed,
Home he returns with all his fpeed:

Here, fon," faid he, "fince you will be

"A gentleman in fpight of me;

Here, fir, this gorgeous bauble take,

"How well it will become a rake!

Be what you feem: this is your hare; "But honeft Numps fhall be my heir; "To him I'll leave my whole eftate, "Left my brave race degenerate."

THE

THE HAPPY LUNATIC:

W

To DOCTOR M. A TALE.

}

HEN faints were cheap in good Nol's reign,
As finners now in Drury-Lane;
Wrapt up in myfteries profound,
A faint perceiv'd his head turn round:
Whether the fweet and favoury wind,
That fhould have been difcharg'd behind,
For want of vent had upward fled,
And feiz'd the fortrefs of his head;
Ye fage philofophers, debate:
I folve no problems intricate.
That he was mad, to me is clear,
Elfe why fhould he, whofe nicer ear
Could never bear church-mufick here,
Dream that he heard the bleft above,
Chanting in hymns of joy and love?
Organs themselves, which were of yore
The mufick of the fcarlet whore,
Are now with transport heard. In fine,
Ravifh'd with harmony divine,
All earthly bleffings he defies,
The guest and favourite of the skies.
At laft, his too officious friends
The doctor call, and he attends;
The patient cur'd, demands his fee.
"Curfe on thy farting pills and thee,"
Reply'd the faint: "ah! to my coft

"I'm cur'd; but where 's the heaven I loft?
"Go, vile deceiver, get thee hence,
"Who'd barter Paradise for sense?"
Ev'n fo bemus'd (that is, poffeft),
With raptures fir'd, and more than bleft?
In pompous epick, towering odes,

I ftrut with heroes, feaft with gods;
Enjoy by turns the tuneful quire,
For me they touch each golden lyre.
Happy delufion! kind deceit !

Till you, my friend, reveal the cheat;
Your eye fevere, traces each fault,
Each fwelling word, each tinfel thought.
Cur'd of my Phrenfy, I despise
Such trifles, ftript of their disguise,
Convinc'd, and miferably wife.

WANDERER.

A VISION.

CANTO I

}

Yet, though unequal to a foul like thine,
A generous foul, approaching to divine,
When blefs'd beneath fuch patronage I write,
Great my attempt, though hazardous my flight. 10
O'er ample Nature I extend my views;
Nature to rural fcenes invites the Mufe:
She flies all public care, all venal ftrife,
To try the ftill, compar'd with active life;
To prove, by these the fons of men may owe 15
The fruits of blifs to burfting clouds of woe;
That ev'n calamity, by thought refin'd,
Infpirits and adorns the thinking mind.

25

Come, Contemplation, whofe unbounded gaze, Swift in a glance, the course of things furveys; 20 Who in thyfelf the various view canft find Of fea, land, air, and heaven, and human-kind; What tides of paffion in the bofom roll; What thoughts debase, and what exalt the foul, Whose pencil paints, obfequious to thy will, All thou furvey'ft, with a creative skill! Oh, leave awhile thy lov'd, fequefter'd shade! Awhile in wintery wilds vouchsafe thy aid! Then waft me to fome olive, bowery green, Where,cloath'd in white, thou shew 'st a mind serene; Where kind Content from noife and court retires, And fmiling fits, while Mufes tune their lyres: Where Zephyrs gently breathe, while Sleep profound

29

To their foft fanning nods, with poppies crown'd; Sleep, on a treasure of bright dreams reclines, 35 By thee bestow'd; whence Fancy colour'd fhines, And flutters round his brow a hovering flight, Varying her plumes in vifionary light.

40

The folar fires now faint and watery burn,
Juft where with ice Aquarius frets his urn!
If thaw'd, forth iffue, from its mouth fevere,
Raw clouds, that fadden all th' inverted year.
When Froft and Fire with martial powers engag'd,
Froft, northward, fled the war, unequal wag'd!
Beneath the Pole his legions urg'd their flight, 45
And gain'd a cave profound and wide as night.
O'er cheerlefs fcenes by Defolation own'd,
High on an Alp of ice he fits enthron'd!
One clay-cold hand, his crystal beard fuftains,
And scepter'd one,o'er wind and tempeft reigns; 50
O'er ftony magazines of hail, that ftorm
The bloffom'd fruit, and flowery Spring deform.
His languid eyes like frozen lakes appear,
Dim gleaming all the light that wanders here.
Hie robe fnow-wrought, and hoar'd with age; his
breath
55

A nitrous damp, that strikes petrific death.
Far hence lies, ever-freez'd, the northern main,
That checks, and renders navigation vain,
That, fhut against the fun's diffolving ray,
Scatters the trembling tides of vanquish'd day, 60
And stretching çaftward half the world fecures,
Defies difcovery, and like time endures!

65

Now Froft fent boreal blafts to scourge the air, To bind the streams, and leave the landscape bare; Yet when, far weft, his violence declines, Though here the brook, or lake, his power confines; To rocky pools, to cataracts are unknown His chains!-to rivers, rapid like the Rhone!

The falling moon caft, cold, a quivering light, Juft filver'd o'er the fnow, and funk!-pale night Retir'd. The dawn in light-grey mifts arofe! 71 Shrill chants the cock!-the hungry heifer lows! Slow blufh yon breaking clouds; the fun's uproll'd! Th' expanfive grey turns azure, chas'd with gold; White-glittering ice, chang'd like the topaz, gleams, Refleding faffron luftre from his beams.

76

80

O Contemplation, teach me to explore,
From Britain far remote, some distant shore!
From Sleep a dream diftinct and lively claim;
Clear let the vision strike the moral's aim !
It comes! I feel it o'er my foul ferene!
Still Morn begins, and Frost retains the scene!
Hark! the loud horn's enlivening note's begun!
From rock to vale sweet-wandering echoes run!
Still floats the found fhrill-winding from afar! 85
Whilft beafts aftonish'd dread the sylvan war!
Spears to the fun in files embattled play,
March on, charge briskly, and enjoy the fray!
Swans, ducks, and geese, and the wing'd winter-
brood,

Chatter difcordant on yon echoing flood! 90
At Babel thus, when heaven the tongue confounds,
Sudden a thousand different jargon-founds,
Like jangling bells, harsh mingling, grate the ear!
All ftare! all talk! all mean; but none cohere!
Mark! wiley fowlers meditate their doom,
And fmoaky Fate speeds thundering through the
gloom!

95

Still Fancy wafts me on! deceiv'd I stand, Eftrang`d, adventurous on a foreign land! Wide and more wide extends the scene unknown! Where fhall I turn, a WANDERER, and alone? From hilly wilds, and depths where fnows remain,

105

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