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" By all your virgin charms below,
# No mortal e'er this tale shall know."

She swore, then thus the cunning knave,
With look most politic and grave,
Proceeds: " Why-faith and troth, dear Sue,
" This jewel has a flaw, 'tis true ;
“My master's generous, and all that,
* Not faulty but unfortunate.”
" Why will you keep one in suspense ?
" Why teaze one thus?"-" Have patience,
" The youth has failings, there's no doubi,
" And who, my Suky, is without ?
“ But should you tell--nay that I dread"-

By heaven, and by my maidenhead"Now speak, speak quick."-" He who denies " Those pouting lips, those roguish eyes,

Must fure be more than man then know,

My deareft, since you'll have it fo;
" My master Wild not only talks
" Wuch in his sleep, but also walks;
“ Walks many a winter night alone,
" This way and that, up stairs and down :
" Now, if dislurb’d, if by surprize
" He's rous'd, and Numbers quit his eyes;
" Lord, how I tremble! how I dread
" To speak it! Thrice beneath the bed,
6 Alas! to save my life I Acd :
" And twice behind the door I crept,
" And once out of the window leapc.
"No raging bedlam just got loose
“ 1s half so mad; about the house
" Frantic he runs; each eye ball glares,
" He raves, he foams, he wildly lares;
" The family before him flies,
" Whoe'er is overtaken dics.
“ Opiates, and breathing of a vein,
" Scarce settle his diltemper'd brain,
" And bring him to himself aga n.
" But, if not cross'd, if let alone
" To take his frolick, and be gone ;
* Soon he returns from whence he came,
" No lamb more innocent and tame.”

Thus having gain'd her point, to bed
la haste the flickering gipfy fled;
The pungent secret in her breast
Gave such Iharp pangs, the could not rest :
Prim’d, charg'd, and cock'd her next desire
Was to present, and to give fire.
Sleepless the tortur'd Susan lay,
Tolling and tumbling every way,
Impatient for the dawn of day.
So labours in the sacred shade,
Full of the God, the Delphic maid:
So wind, in hypocondric» pent,
Struggles and heaves to find a vent;
In labyrinths intricate it roars,
Now downward links, then upward soars;
Th uneasy patient groans in vain,
No cordiais can relieve his pain;
Till at the pott rn gate, enlarg d,
The bursting thunder is discharg'd.
At lalt the happy hour was come,
When call'd into her lady's room;
Scarce three pins stuck into her gown,
But out it boles, and all is known.

Ņor idle long the secret lies,
From mouth to mouth improv'd it flies,
And grows amain in strength and size:
For Farne, at firit of pigny birth,
Walks cautiously on mother earth;
But soon as ancient bards have said)
la clouds the giant hides her head.
To council now the golips went,
Madam herself was prefiilent;
Th' affair is banded pro and cult,
Wuch breath is spine, few conquefts won.
At length dame Hobb, to end the trife,
And Madam Blouse the parfon's wilc,
In this with one content agree,
That, since th' ff was lunacy
If wak'd, it were by much the best,
Not to disturb him in the least :
Ey’n let him ramble if he please;
Troth 'tis a comical dileale;
The worst is to himself: when cold
and shivering he returns, then fuld
The vagrant in your arms; he'll rest
With pleasure on your glowing breasta
Madam approy'd of this advice,
fiued her orders in a trice:
" That none henceforth presum: to ftir,
“ Or thwart th' unhappy wanderer."

John when his master's knock he heard, Soon in the dresling-room app: ar'd Arch y he look', and fliyicer'd. " What game?”lays Wiid. “Oh! never more, " Pheasants and partridge in great lore; “I will your anmuition lait!' And the reveal'd how all la nit. Next thought it proper 10 + XP nis plot, and how he laiu his train : • The coail is clea,

" No drayon guards the golden fleece.”

Here, Muse, let fable night advance,
Describe her fire with elegance;
dround her durk pavilion spreau
The clouds; with poppies crown her head;
Note weli her owds, and bats obscene;
Call her an fchiopien quien;
Or, if you think ’iwili meni niy tale,
Cail her widow with a veil;
Or fpeéters wild hobgoblinstill,
Or say twas mi inigni, 'ter as well.
W li then-twas inuinight, * Was said,
When I'd turts upright in liis uud,
Leaps out, and, withou. niore ado,
Tudies in his room a turn or two;
Opening the door, soon oui he calks,
od to th: next apartment walks;
Wher on her back there lay poor sue,
Alas! friend Jonn, the drame of yuu.
Wak'd with he noile, hir matter known,
Hy moon-light and his broute xown,
Frighted ihe dares not lcream, it bed
She links, and down the pop her head;
The curtains gently drawn, he fprings
Between the theets, thuil closely cungs.
Now, Niufe, reinic what there he did;
Iloid, i puuunce !--it must be hia ! -

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She clasp'd him in her longing arms,
Sharp set, she feasted on his charms.
He did whate'er he could; but more
Was yet to do, encore, encore !
Tain would he now clope, the claspt
Him Itil, no burr e'er stuck so falt.
Aclength the morn with envious light,
Discovered al: in what sad plight
Poor min, he lay! abath'd, for shame
Le could not speak, nor ev`n one lame
Fxcule was left. Che, with a grare
That gave new beauties to her face ;
And with a kind obliging air

Always fuccefoful in the fair,)
'I hus foon relic v’d him from despair.
" dh! generous youth, pardon a fault,
“ No foolish jealousy has taught;
" 'Tia your own crime, open is day,

To your conviction paves the way. • Oh' might this strat gem regain " Your love ! let me not plead in vain ;

Something to gratitude is due, “ Have I not given all to you?”

Tom Itar'd, look'd pale, then in great haste Slipp'd on his gown; yet thus at last Spoke faintly, as amaz'd he stood,

I will, my dear, be very good."



He did-as any man would do
In such a cale-Did he pot, Sue?
Then up into the garret flies,
Where Joan, ani Dol, and Betty lies;
A leah of lafie. all together
Ani ir the doy-days-in hor weather ;
Why, sa th, 'e was hard-he did his best,
And ift to Providence the rest.
Cont lit the p flive creatures lie,
For who in duy could leny?.
Was non-refittance ever thought
By modern cafuifts 3 fault?
Were not her orders frict and plain?

All struggling da gerous and vain ?
Well, duur our y unker trips again:
Much wishi: o, as he realida'ony,
For lome rich cortial warm and Irong.
In beid he quickly tumbled that,
Nur wok's next morni

tili after ten.
Thus night by nishi he led his life,
Bli fling all femal, ut his wife;
Much work upon tis hands there lay,
More bills were drawn than he could pay;
No lawyer drudg'd so hard as he,
In lastes liom, or Hillary;
Iut law yors labour for their fee:
Hore po feli-intureft or gain,
The pleasure balances the pain.
So the great sultan walks among
His troop of lafles fair and young:
So the town-hull in Opentide,
His lowing lovers by his fide,
Revels at large in nature's right,
Curh'd by no law, but appetite;
Frikking his tail, he roves at pleasure,
And knows no fint, and keeps no measure.

But now the ninth revolving moon
(Alas! it came an age too toon ;
Curse on each hasty fleeting night!)
Some odd discoveries brought to light.
Strange tympanies the women seize,
sin epidemical difeafe ;
Madam herleil with these might pass
For a clean-fh ap’d and taper lafs.
'I was vain to hide th' apparent load,
For hoops were not theti a la-mode;
Sue being question's, and hara press'd,
Blubbering the naked cruth contess’d:
“ Were not your orders noft levere,
" That none should ftop his night-career?
« Ard who durit wako hin? Troth not l;
“ I was not then prepard to die.”

“ Weil Sue, faid she, thou shalt have grace, « But then this nigiit Jiake thy place, " Thou mine my night-cloaths on thy head, " Soon thall he leave thee fase in bed : * Lie ftill, and for not on thy life, “ But do the penance of a wife; “ Much pleafure haft thou had; at last "'Ti: proper for thy tirs to fast'

This point agreed, to bed she went,
And Sue crept in, but ill-content:
Soon as th' accuftom'd hour was come,
The younker !ally'd from his room,
To Sue's apar ment whipe away,
And like a lion seiz'd his preyi

IN days of yore, when belles and beaux

Left masquerades and puppet-shows,
Deserted ombre and bafier,
At Jonathan's to squeeze and sweat;
When fprightly rakes forsook champaign,
The play-house, and the merry main.
God mother Wyburn and he frews,
10 smoke with brokers, stink with Jews,
In fine, when all the world run mad

A story not less true than fad);
Ned Smart, a virtuous youth, well known
To all this chaste and sober town,
Got every penny he could rally,
To try his fortune in Change Alley:
In halte to loll in coach and fix.
Bought bulis and bear", play d twenty tricks,
Amougfe his brother lunaticks.
isan!ported at his first success,
A thousand whims his fancy bless,
With scenes of future happiness.
How frail are all our joys below!
Mere dazzling meteors, flash and show!
Oh, Fortune false deceitful whore !
Caught in thy trap with thou ands more,
He found his rhino funk and gone,
Himielf a bankrupt, and undone.
Ned could not well digest this change,
Forc'd in the world at large to range;
With Babel's monarch turn'd to grass,
Would it not break an heart of brals?
"Tis vain to sob and hang the lip;
One penny left, he buys a flip
At once his lite and cares to lose,
Under his ear he fits the nuose.

To the next bough the rope he tyd,
And most heroically dy'd.
Ned, who behind a spreading tree,
Beheld this tragi-comedy,
With hearty curse» run his knell,
And bid him thus his lart farewel.
" Was it not, uncle, very kind,
* lo me, to leave the rope behind ?

legacy so well bestow'd,
“ For all the ingratitude I ow'd.

dicu, Sir Tim ; by heaven's decree, “ Soon may thy brethren soilow thee, “ In the fume glorious manner (wing, “ Without one friend to cut the fring: " That hence rapacious knaves may know,

Justice is always sure, though now.”

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TACK DIMPLE was a merry blade,


An hook in an old wall he spies,
To that the fatal rope he ties :
Lik Curtius now, at one bold leap,
He plurg d into the gaping deep;
Nor did he doubt in hell to find,
Dealings more just, and friends more kind.
As he began to twist and sprawl,
The looten'd Itones break from the wall;
Down drops the rake upo. the spot,
And after him an earthen pot :
Reeling he rose, and gaz'd around,
And law the crock le on the ground ;
Surpriz'd, amaz’d, at this oud light,
Trembling, he broke it in a fright;
When, lo! at once came pouring forth
Ingots, and pearls, and gems of worth.
0'erjoy'd with Fortune's kind bequek,
He took the birds, but left the nett;
And then, to spy what might ensue,
Into a neighbouring wood withdrew;
Nor waited long. For foon he fees
A tall black maa kulk through the trees;
He knew him by his fauming pace,
His thread hare coat and hatchet face :
And who the devil should it be,
But sanctily'd Sir imothy!
His uncle by his mother's side,
His guardian, and his faithful guide.
This driveling knight, with pockets full,
And proud as any Great Mogul,
For his wife conduct had been made
Dir &or of the jobbing trade :
And had most piously drawn in
Poor Ned and all his nearest kin.
The greedy fools lar! out their gold,
Ane bought the very stock he fuld ;
Thus the kind knave convey'd their pelf,
By bccus pocus, to himicif;
And, to secure the fpoils he got,
Form'd this coutrivance of the pot.
Here every night, and every morn,
Devout as any monk new shori,
The prostrate hypocrite inıplores
Jutt heaven to bless his hidden flores ;
But, when he saw dear mammon fiown,
The plunder'd hive, the honey gone,
No jilted buly, no bilk'd hack,
No thief when bladles Alay his back,
No lofing rook, no carted whore,
No failor when the billows roar,
With such a grace e'er curled and swore.
Then, as he por'd upon the ground,
And turn'd his haggard eyes around,
Thc halter at his feet he spy'd,
and is this all that's leit?” he cry'd :
* Am I thus paid for all my cares,

My ledures, repetitions, prayers ? “ 'Tis well-there's something lav'd at least, " Welcome, thou futhful, friendly guest; “ if I must hang, now all is lott, 'Tis cheaper at another's cost; " To do it at my own expence, “ Would be downright extravagance.”. Thus comforted, without a tcar, He fix'd the noose beneath his ear,

} }

Discreet ?--Hold, fir-nay, as I live, My friend, you're too inquisitive : Discretion, all men must agree, Is a moil, thining quality, Which like leaf-gold makes a great show, And thinly spread, fets-off a beau. But, fir, to put you out of pain, Our yourker had not half a grain, A leaky blab, rash, faithless, vain, The victories his eyes had won, As soon as e'er obtain'd, were known; For trophies rear’d, the deed proclaim, Spoils hung on high expose the dane, And love is sacritic'd to fame. Such infolence the sex alarms, Tire female world is up in arms; Th’outrageous Bacchanals combine, and brandilh'd congues in concert join. Unhappy youth! where wilt thou go T'cfcape fo terrible a foe? Seck shelter on the Lybian ihore, Where tigers and where lions roar ? Sleep on the borders of the Nile, And trust the wily crocodile ? 'Tis vain to fhun a woman's hare, Heavy the blow, and lure as fate. Phyllis appear'd among the crowd, But not to talkative and loud, With silence and with care suppreit The clowing vengeance in her breast, Resolv'd, by stratagem and art, To make the saucy villain smart. Thc cunning baggage had prepar'd Ponatum, of the finest lard, With strong aitringents mix'd the mess, Alom, and vitriol,'Q. $. Arfenick and bolc. But I want time To turn all Quincy into rhymie, 'Twould make my dialion too tublime, Her grandame this receipt had taught, Which Bendo from Grand Cairo brought, An able ftyptiek (as 'tis said) To folders crack'd maidenhead.



“ Who boasts our favours, foon or late, " The treacherous blab shall feel our hate.

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ISE Socrates had built a farm,

Little, conveniert, snug, and warm,

Secur'd from rain and wind : A gallant whisper'd in his car, “ Shall the great Socrates live here,

* To this mean cell confin'd ?" “ The furniture 's my chiefest care, Reply'd the fage; “ here's room to spare,

“ Sweet fir, for I and you ; " When this with faithfui friends is fill'd, An ampler palace I shall build ;

Till then, this cot must do."

The true Use of the LOOKING-GLASS.


This ointment being duly made,
Thejilt upon her toilet laid :
The Tauntering cully soon appears,
As usual, vows, protests, and swears ;
Careless an

an opera tunc he hums, Plunders her patch-box, breaks her combs. As up and down ths monkey play'd, His hand upon the box he laid, The fatal box. Pleas'd with her wiles, The treacherous Pandora smiles. " What s this?' cries Jack. " That box !” said

the : " Pomatum ; what else thould it be?" But here 'tis fit my reader knows 'Twas March, wl.cn blustering Boreas blows, Stern enemy to belles and beaux. His lips were fore ; rough, pointed, torn, 'The coral brifled like a thorn. Pleas'd with a cure fo a-propos, Nor jealous of so fair a foe, The healing ointment thick he spread, And every gaping cranny fed. His chops begin to glow and shoot, He strove to speak, but, oh! was mute, Nute as a fih, all he could strain, Were some horse gutrurals forc'd with pain. He lamps, he raves, he fobs, he fighs, The tears ran trickling from his eyes ; He thought but could not incak a curse, His lips were drawn into a purse. Madam no longer could contain, 'Triumplant joy burits out amain; She laughs, the foreanis, the house is rais'd, Through all the street th'affair is blaz'd: In shoals now all the neighbours come, Laugh out, and press into the room. Sir riarry Taudry and his bride, Mis Tujip deck'd in all her pride ; Wilc Madam Fruth, and widow Babble, Coquettes and prudes, a mighty rabble. So great a concourle ne er was known At Smithsold, when a monster's shown ; When bears da..ce jiggs with comely mein, When witty Punch adorns the scene, Or frolic Pay plays Harlequin. In vain he strives to hide his head, In vain he creepa buhind the bed, Ferrited thence, expos'd to view, The crowd their clamorous thouts renew : A thoutan? taunts, a 'housand juers, Stark dumb, the patiive crcature hears. No perjur'd villain nail'd on hich, And pelted in the pillory, His face besmear'd, his eyes, his chops, With rotten eggs and turrip-tops Was c'or lo maui'd. Phyliis, at it, To pay him for offences past, With Insering malice in her face, Thus spoke, and gave the coup grace : si Lard! how demure, and how precise “ He looks! Glenie beconies the wise. “ Vile tongue ! its malter to betray, 2 “ But now the prisoner must obey, 4 ľve lock'u the door, and k-p the key. « Learn hence, what angry woman can, “ When wrong'd by that falsc traitor mani


TOM CAREFUL had a son and heir,

, Adonis was not half so fair. But then, alas ! his daughter Jane Was but fo-lo, a little plain. In man's apartment, as one day The little romp and hoyden play, Their faces in the glass they view'd, Which then upon her toilt lood; Where, as Narcissus vain, the boy Beheld each riting charm with joy ; With partial eyes furvey'd himself, But for his fifter, poor brown ell, On her the self-enamour'd chit Was very lavish of his wit. She bore, alas! whate'er she could, But 'twas too much for flesh and blood; What female ever had the grace To pardon scandal on her face? Difconfolate away she fiies, Anu at her daddy's feet the lies; Sighs, fobs, and groans, cails to her aid, And tears, that readily obey'd ; Then aggravates the vile offence, Exerting alt her eloquence : The cause th' indulgent father heard, And culprit fummon'd loon appear'd; Some tokens of remorse he show'd, And promis'd largely to be good. As both the tender father press'd With equal ardour to his brexit, And smiling kiss’d, “ Let there be peace," Said he ; " let bruils and discord ceate : " Each day, my chil'r n, thus employ 16 The faithful mirror ; you, my boy, « Rimember that no vice disgrace “ Thegift of heaven, that beauteous face; “ And you, my girl take special care “ Your want of beauty w repair

By virtue, which wione is fair.''





Happy as Cræsus on his throne,

Che riches of the world his own,

Content on mortals here below,
Long descent, and noble blood,

Is all that heaven can bestow.
Is but a vain fantastic good,

His crook and scrip were by him laid, Unless with inbred virtues join'd,

Upon his oaten pipe he play'd ; An honest, brave, and generous mind.

His flocks securely couch d around, All that our ancestors have done,

And seem'd to listen to the foundi. Nations reliev'd, and battles won ;

Returning from the chace one day, The trophies of each bloody field,

The king by chance had lost his way : Can only then true honour yield,

Nor guards, nor nobles, now attend ; When, like Argyll, we scorn to owe,

But one young lord, his bosom, friend. And pay that lustre they bestow ;

Now tir'd with labour, spent with heat, But, if, a mean degenerate race,

They fought this plealant cool retreat ; Slothful we faint, and slack our pace,

The boy leap'd active from his seat, Lag in the glorious course of fame,

And with a kinil obliging grace, lheir great atchievements we disclaim.

Offer'd the king unknown his place. Some bold plebeian soon shall rise

7 he Persian monarch, who fo late, Stretch to the goal, and win the prize.

Lord of the world, rul'd all in state ; Por, since the forming hand of old,

On cloth of gold and tissue trod, Caft all mankind in the same mold;

Whole nations trembling at his nod; Since no distinguish'd clan is blest

With diamonds and with rubies crown'd, With finer porcelain than the rest ;

And girt with fawning laves around ; And since in all the ruling mind

Behold him now : his canopy Is of the same celestial kind;

Th' impending rock, each fhrub, each tree, Tis education Thews the way

That grew upon its Maggy brow, Each latent beauty to display;

To their great prince observant bow; Each happy genius brings to light,

Yield, as in duty bound, their aid, Concraid before in thades of night :

And bless him with a friendly shade, So diamonds from the gloomy mine,

On the bare flint, he sits alone, Taught by the workman's hand to shinc,

And, oh! would kings this truth but own, On Cloe's ivory bolom blaze,

The safer and the nobler throne! Or grace the crown with brilliant rays.

But where do I digress ? 'tis time Merit obscur: shall raise its head,

To check this arrogance of rhyme. Though dark obstructing clouds o'er spread;

As the ju licious monarch view'd Heroes, as yet unsung, Thail fight,

The Itripling's air, nor bold nor rude, For laves oppress'd, and injur'd right;

With native modesty subdued ; And able statesmen prop the throne,

The blush that glow'd in all its pride To Battle-Abbey-Roll * unknown.

Then trembled on his cheeks and dy'd. Sha Abbas, with 'upreme command,

He grew in quifitive to trace In Persia reign'd, and bless’d the land;

What soul dwelt in that lovely case : A mighty prince, valiant, and wise,

To every question, serious, gay, Expert, with sharp discerning eyes,

The youth reply'd withont delay; To find true virtue in disguise.

His answers for the most part right, Hunting (it ieems, was his delight,

And taking, if not apposite : His joy by day, his dream by night :

Unstudy'd, unaflected sense, The sort of all the brave and bold,

Mix'd with his native diffidence. From Nimrod, who, in days of old,

The king was charm’d with such a prize, Made men as well as beasts his prey,

And stood with wonder in his cyes; To mightier George, whose milder (way

Commits his treasure to the care Glad happy crowds with pride obey.

Of the young lord; bids him not spare In quest of his fierce savage foes, - Belore the sun the monarch sole,

For cort, or pains, t'enrich his brcalt

With all the learning of the Eat,
The grizly lion to engage,

He bow'd, obey'd, well-cloath'd, well-fed,
By baying dogs provok'd co rage ;
In the close thicket to explore,

And with his patron's children bred;

Still every day the youth improv'd, And push from thence the bristled boar :

By all admir’d, by all belov'd. Or to pursue the flying deor,

Now the first curling down began . While deep-mouth'd hounds the vallies chear;

To give the promise of a man; And echo from repeating hills

To court he's callid, employ'd, and train'd, His heart with joy redoubled fills. Under a rock's projecting thade,

In lower posts, yet still he gain 'd

By candour, courtesy, and skill, A shepherd boy his seat had made,

The subjects love, the king's good-will, A record which contained the names of the Eraployd in greater natters now, shief men chat came over with the Conqueror. No flatteries, no bribes, could bow


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