And made all the rest of the folks in the pew

sick,

The surgeon who bled her his lancet out drew

sick,

And stopt the distemper, as being but new sick. The yacht, the last storm, had all her whole crew

sick;

Had we two been there, it would have made me and you sick:

A lady that long'd, is by eating of glew sick;
Did you ever know one in a very good Q sick?
I'm told that my wife is by winding a clew sick;
The doctors have made her by rhyme and by rue

sick.

There's a gamester in town, for a throw that he threw sick,

And yet the old trade of his dice he'll pursue

sick;

I've known an old miser for paying his due sick; At present I'm grown by a pinch of my shoe sick, And what would you have me with verses to do sick?

Send rhymes, and I'll send you some others in lieu sick.

Of rhymes I have plenty,

And therefore send twenty.

Answer'd the same day when sent, Nov. 23.

I desire you will carry both these to the Doctor, together with his own; and let him know we are not persons to be insulted.

"Can you match with me,
"Who send thirty-three?

"You must get fourteen more,
"To make up thirty-four:

"But,

"But, if me you can conquer,
"I'll own you a strong cur.

This morning I'm growing, by smelling of yew,
sick;

My brother's come over with gold from Peru sick; Last night I came home in a storm that then blew

sick;

This moment my dog at a cat I halloo sick;
I hear, from good hands, that my poor cousin
Hugh's sick;

By quaffing a bottle, and pulling a screw sick : And now there's no more I can write (you'll excuse) sick;

You see that I scorn to mention word musick.
I'll do my best,

To send the rest;
Without a jest,

I'll stand the test,

These lines that I send you, I hope you'll peruse

sick;

I'll make you with writing a little more news sick; Last night I came home with drinking of booze

sick;

My carpenter swears that he'll hack and he'll hew

sick;

An officer's lady, I'm told, is tattoo sick;

I'm afraid that the line thirty-four you will view

sick.

Lord; I could write a dozen more;
You see, I've mounted thirty-four.

The lines "thus marked" were written by Dr. Swift, at the bottom of Dr. Helsham's twenty lines; and the following fourteen were afterward added on the same paper. N.

A LETTER

SIR,

A LETTER TO DR. HELSHAM

Pray discruciate what follows.

THE dullest beast, and gentleman's liquor,
When young is often due to the vicar.

The dullest of beasts, and swine's delight,
Make up a bird very
swift of flight.

The dullest beast when high in stature,
And another of royal nature,

For breeding is a useful creature.

The dullest beast, and a party distress'd,
When too long, is bad as best.

The dullest beast and the saddle it wears,
Is good for partridge not for hares.

The dullest beast and kind voice of a cat,
Will make a horse go, though he be not fat.

The dullest of beasts and of birds in the air,
Is that by which all Irishmen swear.

The dullest beast and fam'd college for Teagues,
Is a person very unfit for intrigues.

The dullest beast and a cobler's tool,
With a boy that is only fit for school,
In summer is very pleasant and cool.

The dullest beast and that which you kiss,
May break a limb of master or miss.

Of

Of serpent kind, and what at distance kills,
Poor mistress Dingley oft hath felt its bills.

The dullest beast, and eggs unsound,
Without it I rather would walk on the ground.

The dullest beast, and what covers a house,
Without it a writer is not worth a louse.

The dullest beast, and scandalous vermin,
Of roast or boil'd, to the hungry is charming.

The dullest beast, and what's cover'd with crust,
There's nobody but a fool that would trust.

The dullest beast mending highways,

Is to a horse an evil disease.

The dullest beast and a hole in the ground,
Will dress a dinner worth five pound.

The dullest beast, and what doctors pretend,
The cookmaid often has by the end.

The dullest beast and fish for lent,
May give you a blow you'll for ever repent.
The dullest beast, and a shameful jeer,
Without it a lady should never appear.

Wednesday night.

I writ all these before I went to bed. Pray explain them for me, because I cannot do it.

LPIGRAM

EPIGRAM

*

ON THE BUSTS IN RICHMOND HERMITAGE.

1732.

"Sic siti lætantur docti."

WITH honour thus by Carolina plac'd,

How are these venerable bustoes grac'd!
O queen, with more than regal fitle crown'd,
For love of arts and piety renown'd!
How do the friends of virtue joy to see
Her darling sons exalted thus by thee!
Nought to their fame can now be added more,
Rever'd by her whom all mankind adore.

ANOTHER.

LEWIS the living learned fed,
And rais'd the scientific head:

Our frugal queen, to save her meat,
Exalts the heads that cannot eat.

A CONCLUSION DRAWN FROM THE ABOVE EPI GRAMS, AND SENT TO THE DRAPIER.

SINCE Anna, whose bounty thy merits had fed, Ere her own was laid low, had exalted thy head; And since our good queen to the wise is so just, To raise heads for such as are humbled in dust, I wonder, good man, that you are not envaulted; Prithee go, and be dead, and be doubly exalted.

* Newton, Locke, Clarke, and Woolaston. H.

DR. SWIFT'S