-?

"a family way-There's the Rub. And for my ce part, I think, to have the land over-run "with fingle men, is ten times worse than an invafion. This fpeech occafioned a loud laugh, which was followed by fuch bitter invectives against unmarried men, that I was a little difconcerted (for I could not help thinking their raillery very ill-timed, but young folks will be young folks) and retired to my lodgings fooner than I intended.-The things I had heard made fo great an impreffion on my mind, that on going to reft, I fell into a kind of dream.

Several alterations were, methought, made in the English government. A new branch of it was vefted in the hands of a hundred females of different ages, who were empowered by a charter to take cognizance of all national grievances which fhould arife from the ill conduct of the male fex, and to inflict on the offending parties the punishments which they thought, upon mature deliberation, adequate to their crimes and misdemeanors. I was placed in the gallery of their fenate-house, when they were engaged in a warm debate about a tax on batchelors, in order to punish them for their averfion to matrimony. As I was myself deeply interested in this debate, I liften'd to it with an eager attention. D

Several

Several virgins who had paffed their grand climacteric, full of vexation that the matrimonial queftion had never been put to them, afferted with no fmall earneftnefs, that batchelors deferved no mercy, because they finned with their eyes open, and moved that they fhould undergo the operation fo much in vogue in Italy, by which means, the managers of the opera house would be able to entertain the town without throwing away immenfe fums on Ricciarelli's and Pazagli's. Some ladies were of opinion, that the fingle men fhould be banished to the highlands of Scotland; and others propofed that they should be taxed to the amount of half their annual incomes, arifing either from landed eftates or the publick funds, which fhould fupport a body of light horfe, to prevent fmuggling and wreck-making in time of peace, and invafions in time of war. A knot of young females, brifk and debonnair, infifted, that no fines could fufficiently punish the fribbles and bucks of their acquaintance, and therefore made a motion, that if they fhould

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prefume to remain in a fingle state after two months notice had been given them (not at churches, but at all other public places, particularly the theatres in Drury Lane, Covent Garden and the Hay

Hay-market, and the Play-House in St. Js'a Street) fhould be forthwith enlifted without. diftinction. The nobility fhould be general officers, the gentry fubalterns, and the tradesmen and mechanics, common foldiers. They agreed, however, that merit should be particularly rewarded, and that a misbehaving General should lose his rank, and be fucceeded by the worthiest and ableft man in the corps. This laft regimental fcheme was received with loud marks of approbation by the whole affembly, who order'd it to be published and executed with all poffible expedition.

After this tax was unanimously agreed to, a lady started up with a great deal of vivacity, and thus addreffed her companions.-A word or two ladies, if you pleafe, before the houfe is adjourned. I have a scheme to communicate, which is of as much confequence to our Sex, as the longitude is to a failor, or the philofopher's ftone to a mifer. I move, ladies, that courtship may be henceforward our province; for I can make it clearly appear, that we have more leifure and inclination to practise the art of wooing, and are able to conduct an Intrigue with more address than the men, who are all ready to allow that we have the advantage over them in the management

D 2

of

of the tongue, the volubility of which, let me tell you ladies, has a very confiderable weight on fo interesting an occafion. This fpeech was fo well received by the gay and youthful part of the affembly, that they rattled their fans, clapped their hands, and fhewed their hearty approbation of it by a great variety of exulting figns, and declared, that the lady who propofed fo excellent 'a fcheme deserved the thanks of the house. But their bursts of merriment were foon interrupted by a venerable matron, who rofe from her feat with the dignity of a Juno, and thus deliver'd her fentiments with the elocution of a Minerva ;

"I am forry I am obliged to differ from the lady who spoke laft: but cannot think it becoming to follow the scheme which fhe has propofed. By making our addresses to the men, we shall defeat our own defigns entirely, for their indifference always rifes in proportion to our forwardness. Modefty is allowed by them to be our moft fhining virtue, and delicacy and foftnefs ⚫ur moft alluring charms. The two fexes will always appear unamiable to each other, by affuming an unatural behaviour.-Mafculine women and effeminate men are in my opinion equally difagreeable. Let us then make use only of the charms I have mention'd, for they will gain an

admirer,

admirer, and fix a friend, much fooner than bold looks, pert language and affected airs, by which too many heedlefs females think to attract the eyes and fecure the affections of those who gaze upon them. I wifh fuch females would attend seriously to the following lines:

• The roving eye, the bofom bare,
The forward laugh, the wanton air
May catch the fop, for gudgeons strike
At the bare hook and bait alike:
While falmon play regardless by
Till art like nature forms the fly.

MOORE.

When the venerable matron had pronounced these lines with a particular emphafis, fhe fat down with as much dignity as fhe rofe, and had the fatisfaction to hear shouts of applause from all parts of the fenate house. Struck with wonder I awoke.