ted the Company, kiffed the Bride, and complimented the Bridegroom, he took the Clergyman afide, and withdrew with him to a Corner of the Room, where they foon adjusted the Affairs of Europe, as well as thofe of North America, but not without frequent Contradictions, and a mul titude of high Words, to the no fmall diverfion. of the Bystanders.

When our Politicians had fettled all national Affairs, they were fummoned to Dinner. The converfation then turned on the Happiness of the Marriage-state, to the great mortification of Politick, who endeavour'd to turn it into his favourire Channel (for his Thoughts were employed on matters of more importance) by interrupting them now and then with, "Well, but don't you re"ally think there will be a general War?"We don't know indeed," replied his Auditors -The converfation on that Subject drop'd with this reply, and Matrimony was again brought on the Carpet. The Baronet trespaffed several times on the good nature of the Company in the fame ftrain, till his patience was exhaufted. Herofe in a violent paffion, fwore he had rather live with a parcel of Dumb Folks, than fuch ftupid Wretches, went out abruptly and took:

I 6

Poft

Poft for London; and upon hearing that Admira Byng was arrived at Portsmouth, he made hafte to Owen's, and ftaid there till almost Midnight, in hopes of perufing an extraordinary Gazette.

NUMB. XXIII. Saturday, August 14, 1756.

Percontatorem fugito.

Avoid a bufy Body.

HOR.

L

AST Sunday in the Afternoon I received. a Card, which contained the following Words.

"Lady Lovenews fends compliments to Mr. Babble, and should be glad of his Company, if "he is entirely difengaged.

"Sunday, August 8, 1756.

The Thoughts of such a Tête a Tête made my heart leap for joy. Where is the old Man who would not be elated to have fo obliging a meffage from a Lady of Fafhion?-I put on my fpectacles

with unusual spirit, and called for a Card as loudly as Othello does for his Handkerchief. My Landlady, who is a fober creditable Woman (tho' fhe lives in Covent Garden) and knows I feldom play at Cards, and never on a Sunday, was quite thunder-ftruck at my demand, and could not, for feveral minutes, comprehend my meaning. At laft fhe came up fimpering and curt'fying, and faid, "Lawk a daify, Sir I am vaftly forry it' "happens fo, but I vow I am quite out of Cards. "But Sukey is gone to fee if fhe can rummage σε out one." As I was in a violent hurry, I could not help fhewing a few figns of impatience, which lafted near a quarter of an hour. A Card was then produced by Sukey, but it was covered with fuch a quantity of red worfted, that I defpaired of feeing it fpeedily releafed from its incumbrance. This difficulty, however, was, luckily, foon removed by the dexterity of my Landlady's eldest Daughter. But, alas! her labor was in vain : for Dirt and Grease had rendered it very unfit for my purpose. In the midft of thefe difappointments, I infenfibly fell into a fit of musing on the wretched condition of Batchelors. been a married Man, I fhould have had a Pack in an inftant, ftamped and decorated in the genteeleft manner with my Wife's favourite Device

Had I

What'

What immenfe Benefits have the Beau-monde reaped from the Invention of Meffage-Cards, which were wifely calculated by the Inventor to prevent the commiffion of mistakes by blundering Footmen. By the affiftance of thefe trufty Meffengers, Vifits are received and paid with the ut moft Punctuality and Eafe; for a Lady can now-a-days receive four and twenty Vifits in an Afternoon, without being fatigued with the fight of her Vifiters, and pay as many without stepping out of her Chair, But to the Point- I was at laft obliged to make ufe of a piece of Gilt Paper, on which I wrote the most obliging Answer I could frame; and after having twifted my Note like the little Billets which I have seen dispatched. from the ivory fingers of Mifs Aimwell, fent it away.

When I had finifhed this important affair, I took off my beft Coat, which I had worn at Church in the Morning, hung it on the back of my great Chair, and brushed off the duft it had received in a walk to and from Buckingham Houfe: in the mean while, the Maid examined my cheft of drawers for a pair of Stockings of the fame colour. I then tied up my Beaver, but on taking a furvey of my Perriwig, I found I had greatly difcomposed

difcompofed it by leaning my head against the Pew, to look at the Stranger who preached at our Church, and therefore defired my Landlady to lend me her Powder-box. Juft when I was fpruced up, and going to fend for a Chair, a BrotherAuthor, with whom I have the misfortune to be acquainted, very unfeasonably enter'd. my Apart

ment.

Mr. Scribble is an elderly, fingle Man, remarkably fhort, and makes himself look fhorter by ftooping. His Complexion is fwarthy, and his Nofe long. His Eyes are black and small, but fo piercing, that he can difcover his Prey the whole length of a street, and is at your Elbow in a moment, when you don't expect him. He is generally dreffed in a full-trimmed fuit of Black, a Sword not much longer than a Dagger, tucked up to his Hip, and à Tye-Wig, one of the Tails of which he conftantly places before. He has a fcanty Income, for he refigned a profitable place under the Government fome years ago, in order to live idle, or to ufe his own favourite expreffion, like a Gentleman. He is a good Scholar, and a fenfible Man, but fo conceited, that he thinks he has more knowledge than any body he converfes with. He is one of thofe Perfons whom HORACE fatirizes in the half line which I have

chofen