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NUM B. XXII. Saturday, August 7, 1756.1

Rifum teneatis Amici?

Who can refrain from Laughter?

HOR.

O People in the World are more divert

N ingly ridiculous than thofe who make

themselves fo by an immoderate Propensity to know what News is stirring from Morning to Night, and by neglecting their own private Affairs, in order to know how the Affairs of the Nation are conducted.

Sir Politick Query, Bart. is defcended from one of the most noble, though not the most wealthy Families in England. His Father Sir John diftin guished himself as a Soldier in Queen ANNE'S Wars with the greatest intrepidity but notwithftanding was obliged to fell half his hereditary Eftate to purchase a Regiment. He was beloved by the Soldiers, but hated by the Officers, who

treated

treated him with fo much unpolitenefs and contempt, that he refigned his Commiffion in a pet, and retired into the Country, where the endearments of a tender Wife, ferved every day to leffen his fondnefs for martial atchievements, and made him determine to fix in the breaft of his Son Politick an infuperable averfion to the profeffion of a Soldier. After he had used all the efforts he could think of to diffuade him from, thirsting after "the Pride, Pomp and Circum"ftance of glorious War," he refolved to place. him in a Merchant's Compting-house, and bound him Apprentice in the fixteenth year of his age. 'Twas then this Youth difcovered an inclination to fignalize himself in political debates, and to become confpicuous in a Coffee-houfe: this inclination increafed daily, and he was in a fhort time a complete Newfmonger.

During his Apprenticeship, Politick, under pretence of going to fee what Mails were arrived, ftepp'd every Morning to the Coffee-house, and after having collected all the Papers he could find, took his feat in the most unfrequented part of the Room, and there perufed with the highest glee, the Folio Sheets, till he had got them all by heart. Having loaded his head with this kind of Knowledge, he would

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run about the Change, feize every Man he met by the Button, and cry, "what News, what News," with all the wildnefs of a frantic Bedlamite. Then he would retire to his Master's Houfe, and deafen his Ears with the Intelligence he had picked up, generally adding a prolix fupplement of his own compofition. He was, in fhort, fo paffionately fond of News that he has frequently quarrelled with his best Friends, because they could not gratify his voracious appetite for Novelty.

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When Politick had finished his Apprenticeship, he one Day flood thunderftruck, on reading a Paragraph which informed him of the Death of his Parents by the over-turning of a Poft-Chaife, before he had time to reflect upon his lofs, he began to rave, not at the negligence of his Father's Friends and Servants, in not informing him of the Difafter, but at the Printer of the Paper, in not filling it up with matters of more confequence, and to the purpose.

Sir Politick by Merchandise found means to accumulate ten thousand pounds, but owed his fuccefs rather to lucky hits, than his close application to Bufinefs. for he chofe rather to prate about Politicks a whole day, than to write Let

ters:

ters: nay, he often forgot he was a Merchant, and had any to write. In this manner did SirPolitick live, perpetually infected with the political Caceethes, and perpetually making himself unhappy. His Friends, hoping that retirement might entirely alter his difpofition, and render him more agreeably converfible, at length. prevailed upon him to fell off his Stock in Trade, and withdraw to his Seat:- -but Retirement did not cure the Baronet of his favourite Vice. Three Men were employed Morning and Night to bring him the Papers, and a Poft Chariot was always ready at his Gate to convey him to Town, whenever there was the leaft probability of hearing fome important Piece of Intelligence. He not only fettled a correfpondence abroad, but even in all the Sea-port Towns of Great Britain and Ireland, in all which pofitive Orders were given to dispatch a Meffenger to him without delay, whenever any thing worth notice was stirring.

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Thus Sir Politick fpent his days: watching with as much vigilance for News as a Lover does. for a Smile from a scornful Mistress. For thefe two years paft he has pleafed himself highly with the profpect of a Rupture between France and En-. gland, and was fo delighted with the Declaration of War that he gave an elegant entertainment

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to all his Friends, Neighbours and Tenants at which it was proclaimed again in flowing Bowls and half-pint Bumpers, amidft the ear-ftunning huzzas of the jovial Company. But the Dinner' was unfortunately interrupted by the arrival of a Wag, who came poft to Gazette-Hall with an Exprefs, of his own dispatching, from the Mediterranean. Sir Politick without giving himself the trouble to enquire after particulars, called for his Boots, clapp'd on his Spurs, mounted his Horfe, and galloped away to London as if the Devil drove him, leaving all the Company at his House to do as they thought proper. He alighted at Lloyd's. from which, on being told there was no Exprefs, he haften'd to another Coffee houfe: from that to a third, and fo on, till he found he had been bummed, and that the News he was fo eager about wanted confirmation. He then rode back to his Friends, grumbling all the way, like an ugly old Maid, when the hears of the Marriage of a beautiful young one.

Some days ago a Friend of the Baronet's invited him to the Nuptials of an only Daughter about thirty miles from London. He accepted of the offer, and arrived at the place appointed half an hour after the new-married Couple were returned from Church. After having flightly falu

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