pair of unclean beafts *, which in all tongues are call'd fools. Clo. Salutation, and greeting, to you all! Jaq. Good my Lord, bid him welcome. This is the motley-minded gentleman, that I have fo often met in the foreft: he hath been a courtier, he fwears. Clo. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my 'purgation, I have trod a measure; I have flatter'd ' a lady; I have been politic with my friend, fmooth 'with mine enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one.' Jaq. And how was that ta'en up? Clo. 'Faith, we met; and found, the quarrel was upon the feventh cause. Jaq. How the feventh caufe?-Good my Lord, like this fellow. Duke fen. I like him very well. Clo. God'ild you, Sir, I defire of you the like. I prefs in here, Sir, amongst the reft of the country copulatives, to fwear, and to forfwear, according as marriage binds, and blood breaks; a poor virgin, Sir, an ❝ ill-favour'd thing, Sir, but mine own; a poor humour "of mine, Sir, to take that that no man elfe will." Rich honefty dwells like a mifer, Sir, in a poor houfe; as your pearl in your foul oyster. Duke fen. By my faith, he is very fwift and fententious. Clo. According to the fool's bolt, Sir, and fuch dulcet diseases t. Jaq. But, for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the feventh caufe? Clo. "Upon a lie feven times removed; (bear your body more feeming, Audrey;) as thus, Sir. I did "diflike the cut of a certain courtier's beard; he fent "me word, if I faid his beard was not cut well, he "was in the mind it was. This is call'd the Retort "courteous. If I fent him word again, it was not well "cut, he would fend me word, he cut it to please himself. "This * Noah was ordered to take into the ark the clean-beafts by fevens, and the unclean by pairs. † Meaning love, as what is apt to make folks fententious. "This is call'd the Quip modeft. If again, it was not "well cut, he difabled my judgment. This is call'd the "Reply churlish. If again, it was not well cut, he would "answer, I fpake not true. This is call'd the Reproof "valiant. If again, it was not well cut, he would fay, I lie. This is call'd the Counter-check quarrelfome; and "fo, the Lie circumftantial, and the Lie dire&t." Faq. And how oft did you fay, his beard was not well cut? Clo. I durft go no further than the Lie circumftantial ; "nor he durft not give me the Lie direct, and so we mea"fur'd fwords and parted.” Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the Lie? Clo. "O Sir, we quarrel in print, by the book; as 66 you have books for good manners. I will name you "the degrees. The first, the Retort courteous; the se"cond, the Quip modeft; the third, the Reply churlish; "the fourth, the Reproof valiant; the fifth, the Coun “tercheck quarrelfome; the fixth, the Lie with circumftance; the seventh, the Lie direct. All these you "may avoid, but the Lie direct; and you may avoid "that too, with an If. I knew, when seven juftices "could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were "met themselves, one of them thought but of an If; as, "If you faid fo, then I said fo; and they fhook hands, ❝and swore brothers. Your If is the only peace-maker; "much virtue in If." Faq. Is not this a rare fellow, my Lord? he's good at any thing, and yet a fool. Duke fen. He ufes his folly like a stalking-horse, and under the prefentation of that he shoots his wit. SCENE VII. Enter Hymen, Rofalind in woman's clothes, and Celia. Still mufic. Hym. Then is there mirth iu heav'm When earthly things made even Good Good Duke, receive thy daughter, That thou might'ft join her hand with his, Rof. To you I give myself; for I am To you I give myself; for I am yours. Duke fen. If there be truth in fight, daughter. yours. [To the Duke. [To Orlando. you are my Orla. If there be truth in fight, you are my Rofalind. Phe. If fight and shape be true, Why, then, my love adieu! Rof. I'll have no father, if you be not he; I'll have no husband, if you be not he; Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she. Hym. Peace, hoa! I bar confufion: 'Tis I must make conclufion Of these most strange events. If truth holds true contents. As the winter to foul weather: SONG. Wedding is great Juno's crown, Duke Duke fen. O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me; Ev'n daughter welcome, in no lefs degree. Phe. I will not eat my word, now thou art mine; Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine. SCENE VIII. Enter Jaques de Boys. Jaq. de B. Let me have audience for a word or twoI am the fecond fon of old Sir Rowland, That brings thefe tidings to this fair affembly. Duke Frederick hearing, how that every day Men of great worth reforted to this forest, Addrefs'd a mighty power, which were on foot In his own conduct purposely to take His brother here, and put him to the sword: And to the fkirts of this wild wood he came ;; Where meeting with an old religious man, After fome question with him, was converted Both from his enterprife, and from the world; His crown bequeathing to his banifh'd brother, And all their lands reftor'd to them again, That were with hiin exil'd. I do engage my life. This to be true, Duke fen. Welcome, young man: Thou offer'it fairly to thy brother's wedding; That have endur'd fhrewd days and nights with us Play, mufic; and your brides and bridegrooms all, Fag. Sir, by your patience: if I heard you rightly, The Duke hath put on a religious life, And thrown into neglect the pompous court. Faq. To him will I: out of these convertites There There is much matter to be heard and learn'd. You to your former honour I bequeath; [To the Duke. allies; You to your land, and love, and great [To Orla [To Oli. [To Sylv To the Clown. Is but for two months victual'd: fo to your pleafures: Faq. To fee no paftime, I: what you would have, [Exit. Duke fen. Proceed, proceed; we will begin thefe rites, As we do truft they'll end, in true delights. EPILOGUE. Rof. Its not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue; but it is no more unhandfome, than to fee the lord the prologue. If it be true, that good wine needs no bush, tis true, that a good play needs no epilogue. Yet to good wine they do ufe good bufhes; and good plays prove the better by the help of good epilogues. What a cafe am I in then, that am neither a good epilogue, nor can infinuate with you in the behalf of a good play? I am not furnish'd like a beggar; therefore to beg will not become me. My way is to conjure you, and P'li be gin with the women. I charge you, O women, for the love you bear to men, to like as much of this play as pleafes them: and I charge you, O men, for the love you bear to women, (as I perceive by your fimpering, none of you hate them,) to like as much as pleases them: that between you and the women, the play inay please. If I were a woman *, I would kifs as many of you as had beards that pleas'd me, complexions that lik'd me, and breaths that I defy'd not: and, I am fure, as many as have good beards, or good faces, or fweet breaths, will, for my kind offer, when I make my courtesy, bid me farewell. [Exeunt omnes. The *Note, that in this author's time the parts of women were always performed by men or boys. |