Bene. Yet it had not been amifs the rod had been made, and the garland too; for the garland he might have worn himself, and the rod he might have beftow'd on you, who (as I take it) have ftol'n his bird's nest.

Pedro. I will but teach them to fing, and restore them to the owner.

Bene. If their finging anfwer your faying, by my faith, you fay honeftly.

Pedro. The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you; the gentleman that danc'd with her told her, he is much wrong'd by you.

Bene. "O, the mifus'd me paft the endurance of a "block; an oak, but with one green leaf on it, would "have answer'd her; my very vifor began to affume life, "and fcold with her; she told me, not thinking I had "been myself, that I was the Prince's jefter, and that I "was duller than a great thaw; huddling jeft upon jeft, "with fuch impaffable conveyance upon me, that I flood "like a man at a mark, with a whole army fhooting at "me: fhe fpeaks poniards, and every word ftabs. If "her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there "were no living near her; fhe would infect to the north"ftar." I would not marry her, though fhe were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he tranf greffed: fhe would have made Hercules have turn'd fpit; yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her, you fhall find her the infernal Até in good apparel.. I would to God some scholar would conjure her: for, certainly, while fhe is here, a man may live as quiet in hell as in a fanctuary, and people fin upon purpose, because they would go thither; fo indeed a difquiet, horror, and perturbation follow her.

SCENE V..

Enter Claudio, Beatrice, Leonato, and Hero.

Redro Look, here she comes.

Bene. Will your Grace command me any service to the world's end? I will go on the flighteft.errand now to the Antipodes that you can devife to fend me on: I will fetch you a tooth-picker now. from the farthest inch

of

of Afia; bring you the length of Prefter John's foot; fetch you a hair off the great Cham's beard; do you any ambaffage to the pigmies, rather than hold three words conference with this. harpy. You have no employment for me?

Pedro. None, but to defire your good company..

Bene. O God, Sir, here's a dish I love not. endure this Lady Tongue.

I cannot

Pedro. Come, Lady, come; you have loft the heart of Signior Benedick.

Beat. Indeed, my Lord, he lent it me a while, and L gave him ufe for it, a double heart for a tingle one; mar ry, once before he won it of me with falfe dice, there fore your Grace may well fay I have loft it.

Pedro.. You have put him down, Lady, you have

him down..

put

Beat. So I would not he should do me, my Lord, left I fhould prove the mother of fools. I have brought Count Claudio, whom you fent me to seek..

Pedro. Why, how now, Count, wherefore are

Elaud. Not fad, my Lord..

Pedro. How then? fick?

Claud. Neither, my Lord..

you

fad?

Beat. The Count is neither fad, nor fick, nor 'merry, nor well; but civil, Count, civil as an orange, and fomething of that jealous complexion.

Pedro. F'faith, Lady, I think your blazon to be true; though I'll be fworn, if he be fo, his conceit is falfe. Here, Claudio, I have wooed in thy name, and fair Hero is won; I have broke with her father, and his goodwill obtained; name the day of marriage, and God give thee joy.

Leon. Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes: his Grace hath made the match, and all grace fay Amen to it..

Beat. Speak, Count, 'tis your cue.

Claud. Silence is the perfecteft herald of joy; I were but little happy if k-could. fay how much. Lady, as you are mine, I am yours; I give away myself for you, and doat upon the exchange.

Beat. Speak, coufin, or (if you cannot) ftop his mouth with a kifs, and let him not speak neither.

Pedro

Pedro. In faith, Lady, you have a merry heart.

Beat. Yea, my Lord, I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy fide of care; my coufin tells him in his ear, that he is in her heart.

Claud. And fo fhe doth, cousin.

Beat. Good Lord, for alliance! thus goes every one to the world but I, and I am fun-burn'd; corner, and cry Heigh ho! for a husband.

Pedro. Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.

may fit in a

Beat. I would rather have one of your father's getting. Hath your Grace ne'er a brother like you? your father got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them.

Pedro. Will you have me, Lady?

Beat. No, my Lord, unless I might have another for working-days; your Grace is too coftly to wear every day but I beseech your Grace pardon me, I was born to fpeak all mirth, and no matter.

Pedro. Your filence moft offends me, and to be merry beft becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in hour:

a merry

Beat. No, fure, my Lord, my mother cry'd; but then there was a ftar danc'd, and under that I was born. Coufins, God give you joy.

Leon. Niece, will you look to those things I told you of?

Beat. I cry you mercy, uncle: by your Grace's par[Exit Beatrice,

don.

SCENE VI.

Pedro. By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady.

Leon. There's little of the melancholy element in her, my Lord; she is never fad but when the fleeps; and not ever fad then; for I have heard my daughter say, fhe hathoften dream'd of unhappiness, and wak'd herself with laughing.

Pedro, She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband. Leon. O, by no means, fhe mocks all her wooers out of fuit.

Pedro. She were an excellent wife for Benedick.

Leon.

Leon. O Lord, my Lord, if they were but a week marry'd, they would talk themselves mad,

Pedro. Count Claudio, when mean you to go to church?

Claud. To-morrow, my Lord; time goes on crutches, till love have all his rites.

Leon. Not till Monday, my dear fon, which is hence a juft feven-night; and a time too brief too to have all things anfwer my mind.

Pedro. Come, you shake the head at fo long a breathing; but I warrant thee, Claudio, the time fhall not go dully by us. I will, in the interim, undertake one of Hercules's labours; which is, to bring Signior Benedick and the Lady Beatrice into a mountain of affection the one with the other. I would fain have it a match; and I doubt not to fashion it, if you three will but minister such affiftance as I fhall give you direction.

Leon. My Lord, I am for you, though it coft me ten nights watchings.

Claud. And I, my

Lord.

Pedro. And you too, gentle Hero?

Hero. I will do any modeft office, my Lord, to help my coufin to a good husband.

Pedro. And Benedick is not the unhopefullest husband that I know. Thus far I can praise him, he is of a noble ftrain, of approv'd valour, and confirm'd honefty. I will teach you how to humour your coufin, that she shall fall in love with Benedick; and I, with your two helps, will fo practife on Benedick, that in defpight of his quick wit, and his queafy ftomach, he fhall fall in love with Beatrice. If we can do this, Cupid is no longer an archer, his glory fhall be ours, for we are the only love-gods. Go in with me, and I will tell you my drift. [Exeunt.

SCENE VII.

Changes to another apartment in Leonato's house.

Enter Don John and Borachio.

John. It is fo, the Count Claudio fhall, marry the daugh

ter of Leonato.

Bora.

Bora. Yea, my Lord, but I can cross it.

John. Any bar, any crofs, any impediment, will be medicinable to me; I am fick in difpleasure to him; and whatsoever comes athwart his affection, ranges evenly with mine. How canft thou cross this marriage? Bora. Not honeftly, my Lord; but fo covertly, that no dishonesty shall appear in me.

John. Shew me briefly how.

Bora. I think I told your Lordship a year fince, how much I am in the favour of Margaret, the waitinggentlewoman to Hero.

Jobn. I remember.

Bora I can, at any unfeasonable inftant of the night,. appoint her to look out at her lady's chamber-window. John. What life is in that, to be the death of this. marriage?

Bora. The poifon of that lies in you to temper. Go you to the Prince your brother; fpare not to tell him, that he hath wrong'd his honour in marrying the renown'd Claudio (whose estimation do you mightily hold up) to a contaminated ftale, fuch a one as Hero.

John. What proof fhall I make of that?

Bora. Proof enough to mifufe the Prince, to vex Claudio, to undo Hero, and kill Leonato.

for

any other iffue?

Look you

John. Only to defpite them 1 will endeavour any thing.

Bora. Go then find me a meet hour to draw Don Pedro and the Count Claudio alone; tell them that you know Hero loves me; intend a kind of zeal both to the Prince and Claudio, as in a love of your brother's honour, who hath made this match, and his friend's reputation, (who is thus like to be cozen'd with the femblance of a maid,) that you have difcovered thus. They will hardly believe this without trial: offer them inftances, which fhall bear no lefs likelihood than to fee me at her chamber-window; hear me call Margaret, Hero; hear Margaret term me Claudio; and bring them to fee this the very night before the intended wedding for, in the mean time, I will fo fashion the matter, that Hero fhall be abfent; and there fhall appear fuch feeming truths of Hero's difloyalty, that jealoufy

fhall