The Way to PREFERMENT.

Difce docendus adhuc, quæ cenfet Amiculus

XFORD or Cambridge Wag, attend

The hum-drum Counsel of a Friend:

For Politic quit Lib'ral Arts;
To Party facrifice your Parts:

Yet glo's your Penfionary Zeal
With pure Regard of Public-Weal.
Write not like Draper or John Bull;
But Minifterial be and Dulil.
Propofe as Patterns of thy Pen,
Stiff H-, pert B-, evasive B-.
To R-fawn like Spaniel Dog,
Growl like a Mungrel against Fog:
'Gainft Caleb fhew your grinning Spite,
And fnarl, tho' impotent to bite.
Hop'ft thou a P- to be made?
Then defecrate thy Holy Trade :
Clafp thy old-fashion'd useless Bible;
Write a prolix infipid Libel:
Was't thou a Prophet, or a Seer;
What then? if yet no Pamphleteer.
At all Reveal'd Religion laugh,
And idolize the Golden Calf.
Enjoy'st thou a Poetic Vein,
Fiction will find an ample Plain:

Abfurd

Abfurd As commend,

And blund'ring T--s without end.
Haft thou a Talent for Difpute?
Prove H-wife, Le H-- no Brute!
Whether France D-- does repair,

Nor is, nor ought to be our Care:
That Human Treaties cannot bind
The Lawless Power of Sea or Wind:
Louis and Neptune are great Odds:
And who would fight against the Gods?
To fhew by Dint of Logic strive,
That Merchants most by Loffes thrive;
Demonstrate that a Sp

Fleet

Can fail at Anchor, peaceful beat:
But argue not in Form and Mood,
Left haply You are understood,
If fond of Wit, to Virtue prone,

Thou scorn'ft to turn a fcribbling Drone;
Mark the Prophetic Words of GRUB,
Thou'lt live and die a learned Scrub.

The EPSOM BEAUTIES.

W

HAT Beauties, Epfom, grace thy fruitful Plains,
What blooming Nymphs engage th' enamour'd
Swains,

The various Glories of each sparkling Belle,
And all the Charms in which the Fair excel,
I fing. O thou affift th' advent❜rous Mufe,
Fair Beauty's Queen! whilft fhe the Theme pursues ;
Soft as the Theme, Oh! flow the gentle Verfe,
Whilft faithful thus I every Grace rehearse.
F

SEE

SEE fprightly Tims with eafy Steps advance
To tread the Mazes of th'enlivening Dance!
When Mufick melts, and Motion fires the Heart,
Ah! who can ward the too refiftless Dart?
Quick thro' each Vein the deathful Venom flies,
Wisdom in vain her fruitless Aid applies;
The God of Love poffeffes ev'ry Breast,
And all the Lover in the Soul's confeft.

OH! ever Sacred be to Love and Verse
The Name and Beauties of the black-ey'd Pearfe!
Ye guardian Angels who protect the Fair,
Oh! ever guard her with peculiar Care!
That tender Form may nothing discompose,
Soft as the Beauties of the blufhing Rose.

FRESH as the Morn, as op'ning Bloffoms fair,
Thy Charms, O Clarke*, to all the Youth appear.
But that which adds to ev'ry Charm a Grace,
And gives a Luftre to the fairest Face,
Good-Humour, ever chearful, eafy Guest,
Shines in thy Looks, and harbours in thy Breast.
O Magot! let thy Name adorn these Lays,
Whilst distant Beauties read thy envy'd Praise;
"Tis thine, the Glories of a rural Face,
"Tis thine, the Promise of a healthful Race:
Such was each Fair, e'er Cards did first invade
The easy Slumbers of the blooming Maid;
But thou more careful guard thy glowing Red,
Nor mourn too late its wish'd-for Beauties fled;
The native Blush in vain will Art fupply,
Too foon discover'd by the Lover's Eye.

LAST of the Train, but faireft of the Fair,
(Each Virgin's Envy, and each Shepherd's Care)
See lovely Roberts ever blooming Maid,
Where Beauty shines in all its force display'd!

*Of New-Inn-Lane.

Sure

Sure Nature form'd thee of her choiceft Earth,
And Venus' felf defign'd the precious Birth:
By Love conducted, and with Virtue fir'd,
By Beauty softned, and with Wit inspir'd,
O'er all the bears an unrefifted Sway,
And Hearts unknown to melt, her Pow'r obey.
How foft thy Charms! how eafy is thy Mien!
Thou fair Refemblance of the Cyprian Queen!
But ah! what Bard with equal Truth can tell,
The various Beauties of this finish'd Belle?
Wit with Good-nature, Sense with Beauty join'd,
An Angel's Body with an Angel's Mind.

Thus made to please, thus deck'd with ev'ry Grace,
That Thought can form, or Eloquence exprefs;
She seems alone unconscious of her Charms,
Nor knows how much the gazing Youth fhe warms.
But ah! beware, ye heedless Youth beware,
T' indulge a Paffion for a Nymph so fair;
Merit, like hers, an equal Worth will claim,
The first in Beauty, and the first in Fame.
'Tis fhe, 'mongst Thousands, eminently bright,
Alone attracts th'unwary Gazer's Sight.

Thus when the Stars, fair useful Lamps of Light,
Shed their bright Influence thro' the Realms of Night,
The streaming Luftre 'tis in vain we trace,
Loft and bewilder'd in the mingled Blaze:
But when the Moon in folemn Pomp array'd,
Clear and ferene, adorns the Midnight Shade,
We view her Glories with attentive Eyes,
Nor heed the leffer Rulers of the Skies.

Some Account of a Booby of Quality lately exported beyond Sea, on his Travels.

I

HAVE often lamented and complain'd, that Men

will be making themselves greater Fools than Na ture intended they should be, by endeavouring to make themselves wifer. Few Men are fit for every Part of Education, and yet every fort of Education is made, in one Inftance or another, to fuit every fort of Men. But there is fcarce any Species of Breeding fo fignally prostituted as that of Travelling, which frequently polishes a young Fellow, as it were, in spite of his teeth, and turns an honeft tolerable Booby into an infufferable prating Coxcomb. To be able to fpeak, is the most unfortunate Leffon a Simpleton can learn; but if he is taught to profane Pen, Ink, and Paper, and can write, the Curfe is still heavier: When this happens, Heaven fhew Mercy, and grant Patience to his Friends and Acquaintance!

I would not be understood, here, as if I was for debarring any hopeful young Gentleman of this Clafs from every Kind of Learning: no, I am for allowing him a good Share of it, and full as much as he wants: He fhall learn his Primer, and the Church Catechifm, and be taught to fet his Mark to any Deed or Writing whatfoever. This is Book Learning enough in all con

science