The drowsy tyrant, by his minions led,
To regal rage devotes fome patriot's head.
With equal terrors, not with equal guilt,
The murderer dreams of all the blood he spilt.
The foldier fmiling hears the widow's cries,
And ftabs the fon before the mother's eyes.
With like remorfe his brother of the trade,
The butcher, fells the lamb beneath his blade.

The statesman rakes the town to find a plot,
And dreams of forfeitures by treafon got.
Nor lefs Tom-t-d-man, of true ftatefman mold,
Collects the city filth in fearch of gold.

Orphans around his bed the lawyer fees,
And takes the plaintiff's and defendant's fees.
His fellow pick-purfe, watching for a job,
Fancies his finger's in the cully's fob.

The kind phyfician grants the husband's prayers,

Or gives relief to long-expecting heirs.

The fleeping hangman ties the fatal noose,
Nor unfuccefsful waits for dead mens fhoes.

The grave divine, with knotty points perplext,
As if he was awake, nods o'er his text:
While the fly mountebank attends his trade,
Harangues the rabble, and is better paid.

The hireling fenator of modern days
Bedaubs the guilty great with nauseous praise :
And Dick the fcavenger with equal grace
Flirts from his cart the mud in * * * * * 's face.

WHITSHED'S * MOTTO ON HIS COACH. 1724.

LIBERTAS et natale folum :

Fine words! I wonder where you ftole 'em. Could nothing but thy chief reproach

Serve for a motto on thy coach?

But let me now the words tranflate:

Natale folum, my estate ;

My dear eftate, how well I love it!
My tenants, if you doubt, will prove it.
They fwear I am fo kind and good,
I hug them, till I fqueeze their blood.
Libertas bears a large import :
Firft, how to fwagger in a court;
And, fecondly, to fhew my fury
Againft an un-complying jury;
And, thirdly, 'tis a new invention,
To favour Wood, and keep my penfion;
And, fourthly, 'tis to play an odd trick,
Get the great feal, and turn out Broderick;
And, fifthly, (you know whom I mean)
To humble that vexatious Dean;
And, fixthly, for my foul, to barter it
For fifty times its worth to Carteret †.

*The chief juftice who profecuted the Drapier. + Lord lieutenant of Ireland.

Now,

Now, fince your motto thus you

conftrue,

I must confefs you 've fpoken once true.

Libertas et natale folum :

You had good reafon, when you ftole 'em.

Sent by Dr. DELANY to Dr. SWIFT, In order to be admitted to speak to him,

when he was DEAF, 1724.

EAR fir, I think 'tis doubly hard,

DE

Your ears and doors fhould both be barr'd.

Can any thing be more unkind?

Must I not see, 'cause you are blind?
Methinks a friend at night should cheer you,
A friend that loves to fee and hear you.
Why am I robb'd of that delight,
When you can be no lofer by 't?

Nay, when 'tis plain (for what is plainer ?)
That, if you heard, you'd be no gainer?
For fure you are not yet to learn,
That hearing is not your concern.
Then be your doors no longer barr'd:
Your business, fir, is to be heard.

THE

THE

ANSWER.

HE wife pretend to make it clear, 'Tis no great lofs to lofe an ear. Why are we then so fond of two, When by experience one would do?

'Tis true, fay they, cut off the head, And there's an end; the man is dead; Becaufe, among all human race,

None e'er was known to have a brace :
But confidently they maintain,

That where we find the members twain,
The lofs of one is no fuch trouble,

Since t'other will in ftrength be double.
The limb furviving, you may fwear,
Becomes his brother's lawful heir:
Thus, for a trial, let me beg of
Your reverence but to cut one leg off,.
And you shall find, by this device
The other will be ftronger twice;
For every day you fhall be gaining
New vigour to the leg remaining.
So, when an eye has loft its brother,.
You fee the better with the other.
Cut off your hand, and you may do
With t'other hand the work of two:
Because the foul her power contracts,
And on the brother limb re-alts.

But yet the point is not fo clear in
Another cafe, the fenfe of hearing:
For, though the place of either ear
Be diftant, as one head can bear;
Yet Galen most acutely fhews you,
(Confult his book de partium usu)
That from each ear, as he obferves,
There creep two auditory nerves,

Not

Not to be feen without a glass,

Which near the os petrofum pass;

Thence to the neck; and moving thorow there
One goes to this, and one to t'other ear;
Which made my grand-dame always stuff her ears,
Both right and left, as fellow-fufferers.
You fee my learning; but, to fhorten it,
When my left ear was deaf a fortnight,
To t'other ear I felt it coming on:
And thus I folve this hard phænomenon.

'Tis true, a glafs will bring fupplies
To weak, or old, or clouded eyes:
Your arms, though both your eyes were loft,
Would guard your nose against a post:

Without your legs, two legs of wood

Are stronger and almoft as good:

And as for hands, there have been those

Who, wanting both, have us'd their toes *.
But no contrivance yet appears

To furnish artificial ears.

A QUIET LIFE AND A GOOD NAME.

To a Friend who married a Shrew. 1724.

N

TELL fcolded in fo loud a din,

That Will durft hardly venture in :

He markt the conjugal difpute;

Nell roar'd inceffant, Dick fat mute;

There have been instances of a man's writing with

his foot.

But,