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Your friend N. is married.
: could not be from the lust of the flesh, for she has not an ounce upon her.
: At a dinner where great satisfaction was expressed, it was facetiously proposed that the presie sident should proceed to the kitchen, and kiss the cook.
That, observed * * *, would be a salute 'at Spithead.
When a certain popular nobleman was appointed to the green ribband, he met his facetious friend, who warmly congratulated him on his new dignity, and green ribband. Yes, said the nobleman, but you will find me the same man still. Why, then
, returned the wit, you shall be the Green Man and Still.
A pert young lady was walking one morning on the Steyne, at Brighton, when she encountered our facetious friend. You see, Mr. ***, I am come out for a little sun and air.
You had better, Madam, get a little husband first.
• The above are a few of the facetious apopthegms, which seemed, in the opinion of the Sexagenarian, to merit preservation. There are others in the Manuscript, but they are either more familiar, or less interesting. Contrasted to the above, are two extraordinary instances of ignorance, which appear to have been written down as marvellous examples of a total want of comprehension and intelligence.
A woman of decent appearance came into a stationer's shop, where the Sexagenarian was present, and desired to purchase a pen, for which she paid a penny. On receiving it, she returned it with the observation, that it was good for nothing. Another was given her, but she gave this also back again, with the same remark. On being asked what fault she liad to find with them—" Why how,” she returned, “ could they possibly be good for any thing, when both had a slit at the end."
The other instance is no less curious, and also happened in the presence of our friend. .
A female came into a bookseller's shop with a slip of paper in her hand, upon which was written a verse from Scripture, with the proper reference to the place from whence it was taken.
“ I want,” said she, “the sermon on that text, and two of my neighbours will each be glad of one also.” The bookseller surprised, enquired whose sermon it was. “ Our curate's," she replied,
" and he preached it last Sunday.” On being asked whether she knew if it had been printed, she was a little displeased, and pettishly observed, “ how could it be preached if it had not been printed.” No explanation or remonstrance availed to satisfy, and she left the shop, convinced that the bookseller could, if he had thought proper, have accommodated her with what she wanted
Temeritas est videlicet florentis ætatis, prudentia senes. centis.
Adolescentia sola est invalida viribus, infirma consiliis, vitio calens, fastidiosa monitoribus, illecebrosa deliciis.
A LITERARY life, like adversity, introduces a man to strange and opposite acquaintance. Genius, talent, and learning, are not limited to rank or station, and the ingenuous desire of receiving, as well as of communicating information, induces an individual of such propensities to put aside those prejudices, which marked differences of opinion in creeds and in politics, have an unavoidable tendency to excite. That such were the feelings, and such the circumstances of our venerable friend, at a certain period of his life, appear from the following loose memoranda, which he evidently intended, at some period or other, to arrange and methodize.
What shall that individual alledge, to ward off and repel the charge of inconsistency, who began
his career in life under the auspices of James Townsend, of Bruce Castle, of the patriotic Aldermen Sawbridge and Oliver; who confesses that he spent agreeable hours with Price and Priestley, and Horne Tooke, and Major Cartwright, and Kippis; and afterwards with a well known popular Baronet, and Dr. Disney, and Walker of Liverpool, and very many others of this description. The same person in the decline of life, had no friends, associates, or indeed acquaintance, but with individuals whose principles, sentiments, and conduct, were as diametrically opposite, to those of the characters above named, as light to darkness.
The fact is to be thus explained :-The first entrance into life must be incidental altogether; out first connexions are unavoidably those of our relatives, and their friends and associates; principles are unfolded only by time and experience, and then it is, that intimacies and attachments are formed and confirmed by similarity of taste, sentiments, and pursuits. Our Sexagenarian, as appears from his notes, first lived, where almost the whole of what might properly be denominated taste and learning, was confined to the Dissenters. Mark, reader, not Methodists; never as much taste of learning visible among these sectaries, but among the old Presbyterians, who constituted, in the place alluded to, both a numerous and respectable class.