Bene. Good day, my lord. D. Pedro. Welcome, signior: You are almost come to part almost a fray. Claud. We bad like to have had our two noses snapped off with two old men without teeth. D. Pedro. Leonato and his brother: What think'st thou ? Had we fought, I doubt, we should have been too young for them. Bene. In a false quarrel there is no true valour. I came to seek you both. Claud. We have been up and down to seek thee; for we are high-proof melancholy, and would fain have it beaten away: Wilt thou use thy wit? Bene. It is in my scabbard; Shall I draw it? D. Pedro. Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side? Claud. Never any did so, though very many have been beside their wit.-I will bid thee draw, as we do the minstrels; draw, to plea sure us. D. Pedro. As I am an honest man, he looks pale-Art thou sick, or angry? Claud. What! courage, man! What though care killed a cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care. Bene. Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career, an you charge it against mé :-1 pray you, choose another subject. Claud. Nay, then give him another staff; this last was broke cross. D. Pedro. By this light he changes more and more; I think, he be angry indeed. Claud. If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle.. Bene. Shall I speak a word in your ear? Claud. God bless me from a challenge! Bene. You are a villain;-1 jest not :-I will make it good how you dare, with what you dare, and when you dare:-Do me right, or I will protest your cowardice. You have killed a sweet lady, and her death shall fall heavy on you: Let me hear from you. Claud. Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer. D. Pedro. What, a feast? a feast? Claud. l'faith, I thank him; he bath bid + me to a calf's-head and a capon; the which if I do not carve most curiously, say, my knife's naught. -Shall I not find a woodcock too? Bene. Sir, your wit ambles well; it goes easily. lord, for your many courtesies I thank you: I D. Pedro. He is in earnest. D. Pedro. What a pretty thing man is, when he goes in his doublet and hose, and leaves off his wit! Enter DOG BERRY, VERGES, and the WATCH, D. Pedro. But, soft you, let be; pluck up, my heart, and be sad I Did he not say my brother was fled? Dogb. Come, you, Sir; if justice cannot tame you, she shall ne'er weigh more reasons in her balance: nay, an you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be looked to. D. Pedro. How now, two of my brother's men bound! Borachio, one! Claud. Hearken after their offence, my lord! D. Pedro. Officers, what offence have these men done? Dogb. Marry, Sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths: secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things: and, to conclude, they are lying knaves. D. Pedro. First, I ask thee what they have done; thirdly, I ask thee what's their offence; sixth and lastly, why they are committed; and, to conclude, what you lay to their charge. Claud. Rightly reasoned, and in his own division; and, by iny troth, there's one meaning well suited. D. Pedro. Whom have you offended, masters, that you are thus bound to your answer? this learned constable is too cunning to be understood : What's your offence? Bora. Sweet prince, let me go no further to mine answer; do you hear me, and let this count kill me. I have deceived even your very D. Pedro. I'll tell thee how Beatrice praised eyes: what your wisdoms could not discover, thy wit the other day I said, thou hadst a fine these shallow fools have brought to light; who, wit; True, says she, a fine little one: No, in the night, over-heard me confessing to this said I, a great wit; Right, says she, a great man, how Don John your brother incensed + me gross one: Nay, said I, a good wit; Just, said to slander the lady Hero: how you were brought she, it hurts nobody: Nay, said 1, the gentle-into the orchard, and saw me court Margaret in man is wise; Certain, said she, a wise gentle- Hero's garment; how you disgraced her, when man: Nay, said I, he hath the tongues: That you should marry her my villany they have I believe, said she, for he swore a thing to me upon record; which I bad rather seal with my on Monday night, which he forswore on death, than repeat over to my shame: the lady Tuesday morning; there's a double tongue; is dead upon mine and my master's false accusathere's two tongues. Thus did she, an hour tion; and, briefly, I desire nothing but the retogether, transshape thy particular virtues; yet ward of a villain. at last she concluded with a sigh, thou wast the properest man in Italy. Cland. For the which she wept heartily, and said, she cared not. D. Pedro. Yea, that she did; but yet, for all that, an if she did not hate him deadly, she would love him dearly: the old man's daughter told us all. Claud. All, all; and moreover, God saw him when he was hid in the garden. D. Pedro. But when shall we set the savage bull's horns on the sensible Benedick's head? Claud. Yea, and text underneath, Here dwells Benedick the married man? | D. Pedro. Runs not this speech like iron through your blood? Claud. I have drunk poison, whiles he utter'd it. D. Pedro. But did my brother set thee on to this? Bora. Yea, and paid me richly for the practice of it D. Pedro. He is compos'd and fram'd of And fed he is upon his villany. [treachery :Claud. Sweet Hero! now thy image doth ap pear In the rare semblance that I lov'd it first. Dogb. Come, bring away the plaintiffs; by this time our Sexton Lath reformed signior Leonato of the matter: And masters, do not forget to specify, when time and place shall serve, Bene. Fare you well, boy; you know my mind; I will leave you now to your gossip-like humour; you break jests as braggarts do their blades, which, God be thanked, hurt not.-My that I am an ass. • Serious. To give a challenge. † Invited. † Incited. Verg. Here, here comes master signior Leonato, and the Sexton too. Re-enter LEONATO and ANTONIO, with the Sexton. Leon. Go, I discharge thee of tny prisoner, and I thank thee. Dogb. I leave an arrant knave with your worship; which, I beseech your worship, to correct yourself, for the example of others. Leon. Which is the villain? Let me see his God keep your worship: I wish your worship But in mistaking. D. Pedro. By my soul, nor I; And yet, to satisfy this good old man, That he'll enjoin me to. Leon. I cannot bid you bid my daughter live, And sing it to her bones; sing it to-night :- ter, Almost the copy of my child that's dead, well; God restore you to health: I humbly give Ant. Farewell, my lords; we look for you D. Pedro. We will not fail. Claud. To-night I'll mourn with Hero. [Exeunt Don PEDRO and CLAUDIO. Leon. Bring you these fellows on; we'll talk with Margaret, How her acquaintance grew with this lewd • [Exeunt. fellow. SCENE II.-LEONATO's Garden. Enter BENEDICK and MARGARET, meeting. Bene. Pray thee, sweet mistress Margaret, deserve well at my hands, by helping me to the speech of Beatrice. Marg. Will you then write me a sonnet in praise of my beauty? Bene. In so high a style, Margaret, that no man living shall come over it: for, in most comely truth, thou deservest it. Marg. To have no man come over me? why, shall I always keep below stairs? Bene. Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound's mouth, it catches. Marg. And your's as blunt as the fencer's foils, which hit, but hurt not. Bene. A most manly wit, Margaret, it will not hurt a woman; and so, I pray thee, call Beatrice: I give thee the bucklers. Marg. Give us the swords, we have bucklers of our own. Bene. If you use them, Margaret, you must Give her the right you should have given her put in the pikes with a vice; and they are dau cousin, And so dies my revenge. Claud. O noble Sir, Your over hindess doth wring tears from me! For henceforth of poor Claudio. Leon. To-morrow then I will expect your To-night I take iny leave.-This naughty man Bora. No, by my soul, she was not; gerous weapons for maids. Marg. Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who, [Exit MARGARET. Bene. And therefore will come. I think, bath legs. The god of love, That sits above, [Singing.] And knows me, and knows me, How pitiful I deserve, I mean in singing; but in loving,-Leander the good swimmer, Troilus the first employer of pandars, and a whole book full of these quondam carpet-mongers, whose names yet run smoothly in the even road of a blank verse, why, Nor knew not what she did, when she spoke to they were never so truly turned over and over as me; But always hath been just and virtuous, Dogb. Moreover, Sir, (which, indeed, is not under white and black,) this plaintiff here, the offender, did call me ass: I beseech you, let it be remembered in his punishment. And also, the watch heard them talk of one Deformed: they say, he wears a key in his ear, and a lock Ianging by it; and borrows money in God's name; the which he bath used so long, and never paid, that now men grow hard-hearted, and will lend nothing for God's sake: Pray you, examine him upon that point. Leon. I thank thee for thy care and honest pains. my poor self, in love: Marry, I cannot show it in rhyme; I have tried; I can find out no rhyme to lady but baby, an innoceut rhyme; for scorn, horn, a hard rhyme; for school, jool, a babbling rhyme; very omnious endings: No, I was not born under a rhyming planet, nor I cannot woo in festival terms. † Enter BEATRICE. Sweet Beatrice, would'st thou come when I called thee? Beat. Yea, signior, and depart when you bid me. Bene. Oh! stay but till then! Beat. Then, is spoken; fare you well now :and yet, ere I go, let me go with that I came Dogb. Your worship speaks like a most thank-for, which is, with knowing what hath passed ful and reverend youth and 1 praise God for between you and Claudio. Bene. Thou hast frighted the word out of his right sense, so forcible is thy wit: But, I must tell thee plainly, Claudio undergoes my challenge; and either I must shortly hear from him, or I will subscribe him a coward. And I, pray thee now, tell me, for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me? Beat. For them all together; which maintained so politic a state of evil, that they will not admit any good part to intermingle with them. But for which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me? Bene. Suffer love; a good epithet! I do suffer love, indeed, for I love thee against my will. Beat. In spite of your heart, I think; alas ! poor heart! If you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for yours; for I will never love that which my friend hates. Bene. Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably. Beat. It appears not in this confession: there's not one wise man among twenty that will praise himself. Bene. An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that lived in the time of good neighbours: if a man do not erect in this age his own tomb ere be dies, he shall live no longer in monument, than the bell rings, and the widow weeps. Beat. And how long is that, think you? Bene. Question ?-Why, an hour in clamour. and a quarter in rheum: Therefore it is most expedient for the wise, (if Don Worm his conscience, find no impediment to the contrary, to be the trumpet of his own virtues, as I am to myself: So much for praising myself, (who, I myself will bear witness, is praise-worthy,) and now tell me, How doth your cousin ? Beat. Very ill. Bene. And how do you? Beat. Very ill too. Bene. Serve God, love me, and mend: then will I leave you too, for here comes one in haste. Enter URSULA, Urs. Madam, you must come to your uncle; yonder's old coil at home: it is proved, my lady Hero hath been falsely accused, the prince and Claudio mightily abused; and Dou John is the author of all, who is fled and gone will you come presently? Beat. Will you go hear this news, signior? Bene. I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes; and, moreover, I will [Exeunt. go with thee to thy uncle's. SCENE III.-The inside of a Church. Enter Don PEDRO, CLAUDIO, and ATTENDANTS, with Music and Tapers. Claud. Is this the monument of Leonato ? Atten. It is, my lord. Claud. [Reads from a scroll.] Done to death by slanderous tongues Was the Hero that here lies: Death, the guerdon of her wrongs Gives her fame which never dies: So the life, that died with shame, Lives in death with glorious fame. Hang thou there upon the tomb, Praising her when I am dumb.Now, music, sound, and sing your solemn bymn, SONG. [Affixing it. Dapples the drowsy east with spots of gray : Thanks to you all, and leave us; fare you well. Claud. Good morrow, masters; each his several way. 1 Reward.! D. Pedro. Come, let us hence, and put on other weeds; And then to Leonato's we will go. Claud. And Hymen, now with luckier issue speeds, Than this, for whom we render'd up this woe! [Exeunt. SCENE IV.-A Room in LEONATO's House. Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, BENEDICK, BEATRICE, URSULA, FRIAR, and HERO. Friar. Did I not tell you she was innocent? Leon. So are the prince and Claudio, who accus'd her, Upon the error that you heard debated: But Margaret was in some fault for this; Although against her will, as it appears In the true course of all the question. Ant. Well, I am glad that all things sort so well. Bene. And so am I, being else by faith an forc'd To call young Claudio to a reckoning for it. Leon. Well, daughter, and you gentlewomen all, Withdraw into a chamber by yourselves; [Exeunt Ladies. Ant. Which I will do with coufirm'd countenance. Bene. Friar, I must entreat your pains, I think. Friar. To do what, signior? Bene. To bind me, or undo me, one of them. Signior Leonato, truth it is, good signior, Bene. And I do with an eye of love requite her. Leon. The sight whereof, I think you had from me, From Claudio and the prince; But what's your will? Bene. Your answer, Sir, is enigmatical: But for my will, my will is, your good will May stand with our's, this day to be conjoin'd In the estate of honourable marriage :In which, good friar, I shall desire your help. Leon. My heart is with your liking. Friar. And my help. Here comes the prince, and Claudio. Enter Don PEDRO and CLAUDIO, with D. Pedro. Good morrow to this fair assem bly. Leon. Good-morrow, prince; good-morrow, We here attend you; are you yet determin'd Leon. Call her forth, brother, here's the friar | ready. (Exit ANTONIO. D. Pedro. Good morrow, Benedick: Why, what's the matter, That you have such a February face, So full of frost, of storm and cloudiness? Claud. I think, he thinks upon the savage bull: [gold, Tush, fear not, man, we'll tip thy horns with Which is the lady I must seize upon? Ant. This same is she, and I do give you her. Claud. Why, then she's mine: Sweet, let me see your face. Leon. No, that you shall not, till you take her Hero. Nothing certainer: D. Pedro. The former Hero! Hero that is dead! Leon. She died, my lord, but whiles her slander lived. Friar. All this amazement can I qualify;" Bene. Soft and fair, friar.-Which is Beatrice? Bene. Do not you love me? Bene. Why, then your uncle, and the prince, and Claudio, Have been deceived; for they swore you did. Bene. No, no more than reason. Beat. Why, then my cousin, Margaret, and Ursula. Are much deceiv'd; for they did swear you did. Bene. They swore that you were almost sick for me. Beat. They swore that you were well-nigh dead for me. Bene. 'Tis no such matter :-Then, you do no love me? Beat. No, truly, but in friendly recompense. Leon. Come, cousin, I am sure you love the gentleman. Claud. And I'll be sworn upon't, that he loves For here's a paper, written in his hand, [her; A halting sonnet of his own pure brain, Fashion'd to Beatrice. Hero. And here's another, Writ in my cousin's hand, stolen from her pocket. Containing her affection unto Benedick. Bene. A miracle! here's our own hands against our hearts!-Come, I will have thee; but by this light, I take thee for pity. Beat. I would not deny you; but, by this good day, I yield upon great persuasion; and, partly, to save your life, for I was told you were in a consumption. Bene. Peace, I will stop your mouth.— [Kissing her. D. Pedro. How dost thou, Benedick the married man? Bene. I'll tell thee what, prince; a college of wit-crackers cannot flout me out of my humour: Dost thou think, I care for a satire, or an epigram? No: if a man will be beaten with brains, he shall wear nothing handsome about him: In brief, since I do propose to marry, I will think nothing to any purpose that the world can say against it; and therefore never flout at me for what I have said against it; for man is a giddy thing, and this is my conclusion.-For thy part, Claudio, I did think to have beaten thee: but in that thou art like to be my kinsman, live unbruised, and love my cousin. Claud. I had well hoped, thou wouldst have denied Beatrice, that I might have cudgelled thee out of thy single life, to make thee a double dealer; which out of question, thou wilt be, if my cousin do not look exceeding narrowly to thee. Bene. Come, come, we are friends;-let's have a dance ere we are married, that we may lighten our own hearts, and our wives' heels. Leon. We'll have dancing afterwards. Bene. First, o' my word! therefore, play, music. Prince, thou art sad; get thee a wife, get thee a wife: there is no staff more reverend than one tipped with horn. |