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Well skill'd in midwife artifices,

For she herself oft' falls in pieces.
There you shall see a raree-show
Will make you scorn this world below,
When you behold the Milky-way
As white as snow, as bright as day,
The glitt'ring constellations roll
About the grinding Arctic pole;
The lovely tingling in her ears,
Wrought by the music of the spheres→→→
Your spouse shall then no longer hector,
You need not fear a curtain lecture;
Nor shall she think that she's undone
For quitting her beloved London.
When she's exalted in the skies,
She'll never think of mutton pics;

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35

40

When you're advanc'd above Dean, viz.
You'll never think of Goody Griz,

But ever, ever live at ease,

45

And strive, and strive your wife to please:

In her you'll centre all your joys,

And get ten thousand girls and boys;
Ten thousand girls and boys you'll get,

And they, like stars, shall rise and set;

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While you and spouse, transform'd, shall soon

Be a new sun and a new moon:

Nor shall you strive your horns to hide,
For then your horns shall be your pride.

54

DEAN SWIFT

AT SIR ARTHUR ACHESON'S.

In the North of Ireland.

I.

THE Dean would visit Market-hill,
Our invitation was but slight;

I said "Why, let him, if he will;"
And so I bid Sir Ar write.

II.

His manners would not let him wait,
Lest we should think ourselves neglected:
And so we saw him at our gate

Three days before he was expected.

III.

After a week, a month, a quarter,
And day succeding after day,'
Says not a word of his departure,
Tho' not a soul would have him stay.

IV.

I've said enough to make him blush,
Methinks, or else the devil's in't;
But he cares not for it a rush,
Nor for my life will take the hint.

V.

But you, my Dear! may let him know,
In civil language, if he stays,

How deep and foul the roads may grow,
And that he may command the chaise.

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15

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VI.

Or you may say My wife intends,
Tho' I should be exceeding proud,
This winter to invite some friends.
And, Sir, I know you hate a crowd.
VII.

Or, Mr. Dean—I should with joy
Beg you would here continue still,
But we must go to Aghnacloy*,
Or Mr. Moore will take it ill.

VIII.

The house accounts are daily rising,

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So much his stay doth swell the bills:

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My dearest Life! it is surprising

How much he eats, how much he swills.

IX.

His brace of puppies how they stuff!

And they must have three meals a-day,

Yet never think they get enough:

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His horses, too, eat all our hay.

X.

Oh! if I could, how I would maul
His tallow face and wainscot paws,
His beetle-brows and eyes of wall,

And make him soon give up the cause.

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XI.

Must I be ev'ry moment chid

With Skinny Bonia, Snip, and Lean † ?
Oh! that I could but once be rid

Of this insulting tyrant Dean!

* The seat of Acheson Moore, Esq.

44

The Dean used to call Lady Acheson by those nimes,

SONGS AND BALLADS *.

SUNG AT THE CLUB

AT MR. TAPLIN'S,

The Sign of the Drapier's Head in Truck-street.

-Exegi monumentum aere perennius,

НОВ

SONG I.

I.

WITH brisk merry lays

We'll sing to the praise

Of that honest patriot the Drapier,

Who, all the world knows,

Confounded our foes

With nothing but pen, ink,

and

paper.

II.

A spirit divine

Ran thro' ev'ry line,

And made all our hearts for to caper:

He sav'd us our goods,

And dumfounder'd Wood's;

Then long life and health to the Drapier.

10

* Some of the following Songs are evidently not of the pa. Dean's writing; but as they bear some relation to the triotic disputes in which he successfully engaged, and as they have been printed both in the English and Irish editions of his Works, we have not thought proper to reject them.

We ne'er shall forget

His judgment or wit,

III.

But life, you must know, is a vapour;
In ages to come,

We well may presume,

They'll monuments raise to the Drapier.

When senators meet,

They'll surely think fit

IV.

To honour and praise the good Drapier;
Nay, juries shall join,

And sheriffs combine,

To thank him in well-written paper.

You men of the Comb,

V.

Come, lay by your loom,

And go to the sign of The Drapier;
To Taplin declare

You one and all are

Kind loving good friends to his Paper.

VI.

Then join hand in hand,

To each other firm stand,

All health to the Club and the Drapier,
Who merrily meet,

And sing in Truck-street,

In praise of the well-written Paper.

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